B Cornell University
w Library
The original of tliis book is in
tine Cornell University Library.
There are no known copyright restrictions in
the United States on the use of the text.
http://www.archive.org/details/cu31924022606465
PS isis-ATlezr""" '"■"'"
Roughing it.
3 1924 022 606 465
HE MlNtU'b DREA.M.
R 0 U & H I N G
IT
BT
MARK TWAIN.
(BAMtJBL h. CUEMENB.)
FULLY ILLUSTRATED BY EMINENT ARTISTS.
(ISSTTXD BT BTJB8CBIPTI0W OKIT, JLNT) WOT FOR 8AL1E TIT BOOK STOBBS.)
(BXBISBirrB OP A2rT 8TATZ DBSIBUTa A. COFT SHOtTLD ADDBB8B THB FTIBL18HBBS AS BBLO^.)
HARTFORD, CONN. :
AMERICAN PTTBLISHINO COMFANT.
F. G. GILMAN & CO., CHICAGO, ILL. l W. E. BLISS, TOLEDO, OHIO. ;
ITKTTLKTON & CO., CINCINNATI, OHIO, i D. ASHMEAD, FHILADELFHLA, PENN;
J. W. GOODSPBED, NEW ORLEANS, LA. j
A. ROMAN & COMPANY, SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.
1873.
Entered according to act of Congress, in year 1873, by
AMERICAN PUBLISHING CO.,
in the office of tlie Librarian of Congress at Washington.
TO
CALVIN H. HI&BIE,
Of Califgrnia,
An Eoust Uu, a Sesial Comiale, aid a Steadfast TAai,
THIS BOOE IS IITSCBIBES
B7 the Author,
Is Uenory of the Cniloni liaa
When We Two
mas iiiuioHAisEs fos rsswis-
PEEFATOET.
This book is merely a personal narrative. And not a pre-
tentious history or a philosophical dissertation. It is a record
of several years of variegated vaga,bondizing, and its object is
rather to help' the resting reader while away an idle hoiir
than afiBlict him with metaphysics, or goad him with science.
Stjll, there is information in the volume; information con-
cerning an interesting episode in the history of the Far "West,
about which no books have been written by persons who were
on the ground in person, and saw the happenings of the time
with their own eyes. I allude to the rise, growth and culmina-
tion of the silver-mining fever in Nevada — a curious episode,
in some respects ; the only one, of its peculiar kind, that has
occurred in the land ; and the only one, indeed, that is likely
to occur in it.
Yes, take it all around, there is quite a good deal of infor-
mation in the book. I regpet this very much ; but really it
could not be helped : information appears to stew out of me
naturally, like the precious ottar of roses out of the otter.
Sometimes it has seemed to me that I would give worlds if I
could retain my facts ; but it cannot be. The more I calk up
the sources, and the tighter I get, the more I leak wisdom.
Therefore, I can only claim indulgence at the hands of the
reader, not justification.
THE AUTHOR.
I.
s.
3.
4.
5.
6.
T.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14
IS.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
31.
«.
PAQB
TBI MnrEBS' Cbsau (TVi,i. Page,) JUice Page FROKnapiKOH.
Envious Contbmplatioks 20
Innoosnt Dbsahs 81
LioHT Tratelinq Obdeb 2g
The "Allek" g3
Inducbmbnts to Fubchabb 24
The FACETioira Dbitbb 25
Fleabino News 36
The Sphtsx. 27
Meditatiom' 32
On Bcsinebb ,. : 33
ADTHOB as GllLLITEB 33
A Tough Statement 35
TuiBD Teip op tbe Uhabbidoed . : 38
A PowEBPUL Glass 41
An Hbiblooh 42
OuB Landlobd 42
Dignified Bxile 43
IJBtNKINO SLUMGtriULION ' 44
A Joke without Cbeam , 45
Fni-LHAN Cab DnnNO-SALOoN 47
OuB MoBNiNo Ride 49
Fbaikib Dogs 60
A Catot* 51
Showing Eespect to Belatiteb 62
The ConDuCTOB 65
T*AoarNG A Subobdikate 57
Jack and the Eldeblt Filgbiu 58
Cbossino the Platte 61
I Began to Fbat 63
A New Depasture 63
Suspended Operations 65
A WoNDEBPUL Lie 68
Tail-fieoe fia
vi Illustrations.
35. Hebe He Comes • "H
86. CHAlTGISra HOBSES • "^
37. Biding The Avalaitche 73
88. Indian Country W
33. A Peoposed Fist Fight 81
40. Fbom Behind the Door 82
41. Slade as an Executioner 84
42. An Unpleasant View 85
43. Unappreciated Politeness 88
44. Slade in Court 92
45. A Wife's Lamentations 95
46. The Concentrated Inhabitant 99
47. The South Pass (Full Page,) J^ixce Page >. 100
' 48, The Parted Streams lOl
49. It Spoiled the Melon 102
50. GiTEN Over to the Catote and the Raten 103
51. "Don't Coue Herb" 104
52. "Think I'm a Fool" 105
53. The " Destbotinq Angel" 106
54. Effects of "Valley Tan" 109
55. One Crest UO
56. Thb Other 110
57. The Vagrant , Ill
58. Portrait of Hebeb Kihball * 112
59. Portrait oe Bbioham Toung 113
60. The Contbactoes befobe the King 116
61. I WAS Touched 117
63. The Endowment, tail-piece 118
63. Favorite Wife and D. 4 130
64. Needed Marking , 121
65. A Rbmarkablb Besemblance 124
66. The Family Bedstead 126
67. The Miraculous Compass „ 131
68. Three Sides to a Question 137
69. Result of High Freights 138
70. A Shriveled Quarter 139
71. An Objbct op Pity 140
72. Tail-Piece 141
73. Tail-Piece 145
74.GOSHOTT Indians hanging around Stations , 147
75. The Drive fob Life - , 143
76. Gbeeley's Bidb , ' ISq
77. Bottling an Anecdote 154
78. Tail-Piece ^ , 155
79 ■ Contemplation 168
80. The Washoe Zephyr , 159
81. The Governor's House , Id
82. Dabs Disclosubbs , 162
83. Tub Irish Bbigadb ics
S4. Becbeation 164
85, The Tarantula 1^
86. Light thbown on the Subject IdC
&?. I Steebed 1^
88. Thb Invalid j.^
89. ThbBebtored 171
Illustrations. vii
90. OrBHorsB '. TO
91. AtBttsiitsss 174
93. Fight atLaksTahoe (Ftjll Page,) IHcaPage 176
93. " TOtj MIGHT THHTK BIM AK A:USB1CAX HOBSE ' t 179
94. Ukbxpeoted Eletatioit .-..v ISO
95. Unitebsallt Unsettled 181
96. BmisG the Flug 182
97. 'Waitted Exercise 183
98. BOBBOWprO MADE EAST 186
99. Fbee Rides ; 188
100. SATISFACTOET VOTJOHEBS 190
101. Needs Pbaying FOB 191
108. Map OF Toll BoADS 193
103. UXLOADIKG SlLTEB BBIOES 194
104. View in Humboldt Mountains *.... 196
105. Going to Humboldt ^ 199
106. Ballou's Bedfellow 301
107. Fleasubssof Camping Out 203
108. The Sbcbbt Sbabch 205
109. " Cast TOUB Eye ON that " 207
110. "We've got IT" '. 210
111. Incipient Millionaires 212
112. KOCKS— Tail-Piece.; 214
113. "DoTousEBIT?" 216
114. Fabewell Sweet Kivbb '... 21S
115. The Rescue... ' 219
116. "Mb. Abkansas" .' 222
117. An AbmedAllt 225
118. Cbossing THE Flood ^ 227
119. Advance IN A CiBCLB 229
120. TheSongstee 230
121. The Foxes HAVE Holes— Tail-Piecb 231
122. AFlatFailuee 233
123. The Last Match 234
1*4 DiBCABDED Vices 236
125. Flames— Tail-Pieob 237
126. Camping IN the Snow (FullPage,) J^hce /tajre 238
127. It was thus we met , 240
128. .Taking Possession 243
139. A GbeaT-Effobt - ■ 244
130. Keaebanqing AND Shifting t ; 246
131. "We iEFT Lamented 249
132. PicTUEBOF Tow;nsend's Tunnel 250
133. QUABTZ Mill 253
134. Anothee Process OF Amalgamation 254
135. FiifeT Quabtz Mill IN Nevada 256
136. A Slice OF Rich Oeb 257
137. The Saved Beothbb 260
138. On A Secbet Expedition „.. 263
189. Lake Mono (FullPaob,) liKePage 265
140. Batheb Soapy 266
141. A Baek UNDBE Full Sail 266
142. A Model BoABDiNG House 268
143. Life AMID Death ^1
144. A Jump FOB Life • 373
viii Illustrations.
145. "StovkHbapgojte" -»».. 279
146; iNTERViEwiNQ THE " WiDB West " 279
147. WoKTH A Million 280
148. Millionaires LAYtN& Plaks 282
149* Dangebously Siok ^ 287
160. "Worth Nothing - 288
151. The Compromise 290
152. One of my Failures 298
153. Target Shooting 294
154. As City Editor 595
155. The Entire Market 296
156. A Friend Indeed 397
157. Union— Tail-Piece 298
158. An Educational Report 301
159. No Paeticulab Hurry 303
160. Birds Eye View of Virginia City AND Mt. Datidsok 804
161. ANEW Mine « ...' 807
162. TeyaFew 309
163. Portrait op Mr. Stewart 310
164. Selling A Mine , 311
165. Couldn't "Wait 315
166. The Great "Flouk Sack "Procession (Full ^jl^r^) Face Page 317
167. Tail-Piece 319
168. A Nabob 321
169. Magnificence AND Misery 323
ITO. A Friendly Driver 326
171. Astonishes THE Natives 327
172. Col. Jack Weakens 328
173. Scotty Beiggs AND THE Minister Kl
174. Regulating Matters 335
I 175. Didn't Shook HIS Mother 337
176. Scotty A3 S.S- Teacher 338
,177. The Man WHO HAD Killed HIS Dozen 340
178. The Unprejudiced JuKY 342
179. A Desperado giving Refbrbnce 544
180. Satisfying A Foe 346
181. Tail-Piece ffil
182. Giving Information ^3
183. A Walking Battery S55
184. Overhauling his Manifest 358
185. Ship— Tail-Piece ., 359
186. The Heroes and Heroines of the Stoey 361
187. DiSBOLUTia Author 863
188. There sat the Lawyer WS
189. Jonah Outdone 367
190. dollingsb - 370
191. Low Bridge :.^ 371
laj. Shortening Sail 372
193. Lightening Ship 3*73
194, The Marvellous Rescue STO
IffiS. Silver Bricks , 377
196. Timber SuppoBts 879
197. From Gallery TO Gallbry , 389
198. Jim Blaine 384
199. Hvbbah FOB Nixon S85
Illustrations;. 13^
200. MissTVaotteb .' 838
SOI. Waiting for a Custohbb 887
202. "Was to bk Thsbb 33S
208. THB MONtTMEXT 389
204. WnKRK IS THE Ram ?— Tail-Pibgb 890
205. Chinbse Wass Bill 392
306. Imitatiok 393
.207. Ghinbsr Lottbrt .* 396
208. Ghtxbsb Mebchant at Homh— Tail Pieob 397
209. An Old Fbiend 399
210. Fakbwhll and Accident , 408
211. "GllfME A CiGAE" 404
212. The Herald of Glad News 406
213. Flag— Tajl-Pibcb 407
214. A New England Scene , .' .409
215. A Variable Cliuate 418
816. Sacramento and Three Hours Aw at .' 413
217. " Fetch Her Out " 416
218. "Well if it aint a Child" 417
219. A Genuine Live "Woman 418
220. The Grace op a Kangaroo 420
221. Dreaus Dissipated. 421
222. The *' One Hobse Shat " Outdone 422
223. Hard on the Innocents 428
224. Dry Bones Shaken 428
225. "Oh! What shall I do!" 424
226. "Get out tour Towel mt Dear" 425
227. "We Will Omit the Benediction" 426
228. Slinking 429
329. A Prize 431
230. A Look in at the Window ^ 438
231. "Do It Strangeb ' 4S8
252. The Old Collegiatk 436
«33. Steikino a Pocket 488
284. Tom Quartz 449
235. An Advantage Taken '. 441
236. After an Excursion 442
237. The Three Captains 445
238. The Old Admiral 448
239. The Deserted Field 449
2*0. Williams 453
241. Scene on the Sandwich Islands 455
242. Fashionable Attire 456
243. A Btte 45t
244. KECONNOITERING ; 451
345. Bating Tamarinds 458
246. Looking for Mischief 461
247. A Familt Likeness 462
248. Sit Down to Listen 467
249. "Mt Brotheb, Wb Twins" 46J
250. Extraordinabt Capers 470
251. A Load of Hat i'a
2^. Marchtno Theough Georgia— Tail-Piece ^ 473
253. Sandwich Island <?irls 474
854. Original Hah Sandwich 475
X Illusteations.
255. "iKissm Hia pob His Mothik" *'*
256. AN OCTSIDEn— TAiL-PiEca ^'^
25i. An Enemy's Peayeb ^^
858. Visiting the Uissionabies ^**
259. FCLL Chitech Deess .'. ^^
260. Playino Empiee '■ ^^
261. Royalty and its Satellites - ^^
8S2. A nion Pbitate— Tail-Pieob ^^
263. a modeen funeeal ^^ '
264. Former Funeeal Obqies 497
265. AFassenobe <W
266. Moonlight on the "Watbr 501
267. Going into the Mountains (FtillPage,) FacePagi 502
268. Evening— Tail-Pieoe 603
269. The Demented 505
270. Discussing Turnips 507
271. Gkeelby's Letteb 509
272. Kealakekua Bay Ain> Cook's Monument 5U
273. The Ghostly Buildees 51*
274. On Guard 619
275. Breaking the Tabu 521
276. SuRP Bathing 625
277. Surf Bathing a Failure 526
278. City op Refuge 527
279. The Queen's Kook 529
280. Tail-Piece 531
281. The Pil^ab op Fiee '. 533
282. The Ceatee ..: 5^
283. ^EOEE Through 639
284. FiEB Fountains 540
285. Lata Stream 542
286. A Tidal Watk 543
287. Teip on the Milky Wat ^ 545
288. A View in the Iao Valley (Full Page,) FaccPagQ -. 547
289. Magnificent Spoet 549
290. Eleven Miles to See 553
291. Chased by a Stoem 554
392. Leaving "Woek .' 555
293. Tail-Piece 55j
294. OuB Amusements 5.>i9
295. Seveee Case of Stage Feight 561
296. My Theeb Paequette Allies 5gj
297. SAWYEE in the CIBCLE 553
298. A Predicament gg7
299. The Best op the Jokb ggg
too. The End 570
CONTENTS.
CHAPTEE I.
My Brother appointed Secretary of Nevada — I Envy His Prospective
Adventures — Am Appointed Private Secretary Under Him — My
Contentment Complpte — ^Packed in One Hour — Dreams and Visions
— On the Missouri Biver — A Bully Boat 19
CHAPTER II.
Arrive at St. Joseph — Only Twenty-five Pounds Baggage Allowed^
Farewell to Kid Gloves and Dress Coats — Armed to the Teeth —
The "Allen" — A Cheerful Weapon — Persuaded to Buy a Mule —
Schedule of Luxuries — We Leave the " States " — " Our Coach "
— Mails for the Indians — Between a Wink and an Earthquake — A
Modem Sphynx and How She Entertained tJs — A Sociable Heifer. 23
CHAPTER III.
" The Thoroughhrace is Broke " — Mails Delivered Properly — Sleeping
Under Difficulties — A Jackass Rabbit Meditating, and on Business
— A Modern Gulliver — Sage-brush — Overcoats as an Article of Diet
— Sad Fate of a Camel — Warning to Experimenters 30
CHAPTER IV.
Making Our Bed — Assaults by the Unabridged — At a Station — Our
Driver a Great and Shining Dignitary — Strange Place for a Front-
yard — Accommodations — Double Portraits — An Heirloom — Our
Worthy Landlord — " Fixings and Things " — An Exile — Slumgul-
lion — A Well Furnished Table — The Landlord Astonished — Table
Etiquette — Wild Mexican Mules — Stage-coaching and Railroading. 37
CHAPTER V.
New Acquaintances — The Cayote — A Dog's Experiences-j-A Disgusted
Dog — The Relatives of the Cayote — Meals Taken Away from Home 48
CHAPTER VL
The Division Superintendent — The Conductor — The Driver — One Hun-
dred and Fifty Miles' Drive Without Sleep — Teaching a Subor-
dinate— Our Old Friend Jack and a Pilgrim — Ben Hofliday Com-
pared to Moses S4
CHAPTER VII.
Overland City — Crossing the Platte — Bemis's Buffalo Hunt — Assault
by a Buffalo — ^Bemis's Horse Goes Crazy— An Impromptu Circus
— A New Departure — Bemis Finds Refuge in a Tree— Escapes
Finally by a Wonderful Method 60
CHAPTER VIII.
The Pony Express — Fifty Miles Without Stopping — " Here he Comes "
— Alkali Water — Riding an Avalanche — Indian Massacre 70
xii CONTENTS.
CHAPTER IX. PAOB
Among the Indians — An Unfair Advantage — Laying on our Anns — A
Midnight Murder— Wrath of Outlaws — A Dangerous, yet Valuable
Citizen {■■■■■ "^^
CHAPTEE X.
History of Slade — A Proposed Fist-fight — Encounter with Jules —
Paradise of Outlaws— Slade as Superintendent — As Executioner —
A Doomed Whisky Seller— A Prisoner— A Wife's Bravery— An
Ancient Enemy Captured — Enjoying a Luxury — Hob-noblring with
Slade— Too Polite— A Happy Escape 80
CHAPTEE XI.
Slade in Montana — "On n Spree"— In Court — Attack on a Judge —
Arrest by the Vigilantes — Turn out of the Miners — Execution of
Slade— Lajmentations of His Wife — Was Slade a Coward ? 90
CHAPTEE XII.
A Mormon EjUigrant Train— The Heart of the Eocky Mountains —
Pure Saleratus — A Natural Ice-House — An Entire Inhabitant — In
Sight of " Eternal Snow " — The South Pass — ^The Parting Streams
—An Unreliable Letter Carrier — ^Meeting of Old Friends — A Spoiled
Watermelon — Down the Mountain — A Scene of" Desolation — Lost
in the Dark— Unnecessary Advice — U. S. Troops- and Indians — Sub-
lime Spectacle — Another Delusion Dispelled — Among the Angels. . 97
CHAPTER XIII.
Hormons and Gentiles — Exhilarating Drink, and its Effect on Bemis —
Salt Lak'e City — A Great Contrast — A Mormon Vagrant — Talk with
a Saint — A Visit to the " King " — ^A Happy Simile 108
CHAPTEE XIV.
Mormon Contractors — How Mr. Street Astonished Them — The Case
Before Brigham Young, and How he Disposed of it — Polygamy
Viewed from a New Position : 114
CHAPTER XV.
A Gentile Den — Polygamy Discussed — Favorite Wife and D. 4 —
Hennery for Retired Wives — Children Need Marking — Cost of a
Gift to No. 6— A Penny-whistle Gift and its Effects — Fathering the
Foundlings — It Resembled Him — The Family Bedstead 119
CHAPTER XVI.
The Mormon Bible — Proofs of its Divinity — Plagiarism of its Authors
— Story of Nephi — Wonderful Battle — Kilkenny Cats Outdone. . . . 127
CHAPTEE XVII.
Three Sides to all Questions — ^Everything " A Quarter " — Shriveled Up
— Emigrants and White Shirts at a Discount — " Forty-Niners " —
AJ)ove Par — Real Happiness 138
CHAPTER XVIII.
Alkali Desert — ^Romance of Crossing Dispelled — Alkali Dust— Effect on
the Mules— Universal Thanksgiving , 14S
CONTENTS. XUl
CHAPTER XIX. PAflB
The Digger Indians Compared with the Bushmen of Africa — Food,
liife and Characteristics — Cowardly Attack on a Stage Coach — A
Bra\ltDriver— The Noble Red Man 146
CHAPTER XX.
The Great American Desert — Forty Miles on Bones — Lakes Without
Outlets — CJreely's Remarkable Ride — ^Hank Monk, the Renowned
Driver — Fatal Effects of "Corking" a Story — Bald-Headed Anec- j
dote IS*
CHAPTER XXI.
Alkali Dust — Desolation and Contemplation — Carson City — Our Journey
Ended — We are Introduced to Several Citizens — A Strange Rebuke
— A Washoe Zephyr at Play— Its Office Hours— Governor's Palace-
Government Offices— Our French Landlady Bridget O'Flannigan-^
Shadow Secrets— Cause for a Disturbance at Once — The Irish Bri-
fade — ^Mrs. O'Flannigan's Boarders — The Surveying Expedition —
Iscape of the Tarantulas.. 16?
CHAPTER XXIL
The Son of a Nabob— Start for Lake Tahoe — Splendor of the Views —
Trip on the Lake — Camping Out — Reinvigorating Climate — Clear-
ing a Tract of Land — Securing a Title — Outhouse and Fences 168
CHAPTER XXIII.
A Happy Life — Lake Tahoe and.its Moods^Transparency of the Waters
— A Catastrophe — Fire ! Fire ! — A Magnificent Spectacle — Homeless
Again — We take to the Lake — A Storm — Return to Carson. . .^ . . . . 173
I
CHAPTER XXIV.
Besolve to Buy a, Horse — ^Horsemanship in Carson — A Temptation —
Advice Given Me Freely — I Buy the Mexican Plug — My JHrst Ride
— A Good Bucker — I Loan the Ping — Experience of Borrowers — At'
tempts to Sell — Expense of the Experiment — A Stranger Taken In. 178
CHAPTER XXV.
The Mormons in Nevada — 'How to Persuade a Loan from Them — Early
History of the Territory — Silver Mines Discovered — The New Terri-
torial Government — A Foreign One and a Poor One — Its Funny
Struggles for Existence — No Credit, no Cash — Old Abe Currey Sus-
tains it and its Officers — InstJuctions and Vouchers — An Indian's
Endorsement — Toil-Gates. 186
CHAPTER XXVI.
The Silver Fever— State of the Market— Silver Bricks— Tales Told—
Offforthe Humboldt Mines 193
CHAPTER XXVII.
Our manner of going— Incidents of the Trip — A Warm but Too Familiar
a Bedfellow^lr. Ballon Objects— Sunshine amid Clouds— Skfely
Arrived 198
xiv Contents.
CHAPTER XXVni.
Arrive at the Mountains— Building Our Cabin— My First Prospecting Tour—
My First Gold Mine— Pockets Filled With Treasures— Filtering the New»
to My Companions— The Bubble Pricked— All Not Gold That Glitt»s . ^. 203
CHAPTER XXIX. *
Out Prospecting — A Silver Mine At Last — Making a Fortune With Sledge and
Drill — ^A Hard Road to Travel — We Own inClaims-^A Rocky Country. '211
CHAPTER XXX.
Disinterested Friends— How "Feet" Were Sold— We Quit Tunnelling— A Trip
to Esmeralda — My Companions — An Indian Prophesy — ^A Flood; — Our
Quarters During It ' 216
CHAPTER XXXL
The Guests at "Honey Lake Smith's "—" Bully Old Arkansas "—" Our Land-
lord "—Determined to Fight — The Landlord's Wife — The Bully Con-
quered by Her — Another Start— Crossing the Carson — ^A Narrow Escape
— ^Following Our Own Track — A New Guide — Lost in the Snow 221
CHAPTER XXXn.
Desperate Situation — Attempts to Make a Fire — Our Horses leave us — ^We
Find Matches — One, Two, Three and the Last — No Fire — Death Seems
Inevitable — We Mourn Over Our Evil Lives — Discarded Vices — We For-
give Each Other — ^An Affectionate Farewell — The Sleep of Oblivion. . . 232
CHAPTER XXXin.
Return of Consciousness — Ridiculous Developments — ^A Station House — Bit-
ter Feelings — ^Fruits of Repentance — ^Resurrected Vices , 238
CHAPTER XXXIV.
About Carson — General Buncombe — Hyde vs. Morgan — ^How Hyde Lost His
Ranch — The Great Landslide Case — The Trial — General Buncombe in
Court — A Wonderful Decision — ^A Serious Afterthought 241
CHAPTER XXXV.
A New Travelling Companion — All Full and No Accommodations — ^How Cap-
tain Nye found Room — and Caused Our Leaving to be Lamented — The
Uses of Tunnelling — A Notable Example — We Go into the " Claim " Bus-
iness and Fail — At the Bottom 24S
CHAPTER XXXVL "
A Quartz Mill — ^Amalgamation — " Screening Tailings " — First Quartz Mill in
Nevada — ^Fire Assay — ^A Smart Assayer — I stake for an advance 252
CHAPTER XXXVn.
The Whiteman Cement Mine — Story of its Discovery — ^A Secret Expedition
— A Nocturnal Adventure — A Distressing Position — ^A Failure and a
Week's Holiday 259
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
Mono Lake — Shampooing Made Easy — ^Thoughtless Act of Our Dog and the
Results — Lye Water— Curiosities of the Lake — ^Free Hotel — Some Funny
Incidents a Little Overdrawn. ., 265
Contents. xv
chapter xxxix.
visit to the Islands in Lake Mono — ^Ashes and Desolation — Life Amid Death
Our Boat Adrift — A Jump For Life — A Storm On the Lake — A Mass of
Soap ^ds — Geological Curiosities — A Week On the Sierras — ^A farrow
EscapeWrom a Funny Explosion — " Stove Heap Gone " 2Y0
CHAPTER XL.
The "Wide West" Mine— It is "Interviewed" by Higbie— A Blind Lead-
Worth a Million — We are Rich At Last — Plans for the Future 211
CHAPTER XLI.
A Rheumatic Patient — Day Dreams — An Unfortunate Stumble — I Leave Sud-
denly— Another Patient — Higbie in the Cabin — Our Balloon Bursted —
Worth Nothing — Regrets and Explanations — Our Third Partner 286
CHAPTER XLH.
What to .do Next ?— Obstacles I Had Met With— "Jack of All" Trades"-
Mining Again — Target Shooting — I Turn City Editor — I Succeed Finely 292
CHAPTER XLin.
My Friend Boggs — The School Report— Boggs Pays Me An Old Debt — Virgin-
ia City .' 299
CHAPTER XLIV.
Flush Times — ^Plenty of Stock — ^Editorial Puffing — Stocks Given Me — Salting
Mines — ^A Tragedian In a New Role 806
CHAPTER XLV.
Flush Times Continue — Sanitary Commission Fund — Wild Enthusiasm of the
People — ^Would not wait to Contribute — ^The Sanitary Flour Sack— It
is Carried to Gold Hill and Dayton — ^Final Reception in Virginia — Results
of the Sale— A Grand Total." 313
CHAPTER XLVL
The Nabobs of Those Days — John Smith as a Traveler — Sudden Wealth — A
Sixty-Thousand-Dollar Horse — ^A Smart Telegraph Operator — ^A Nabob
in New York City — Charters an Omnibus — "Walk in, It's All Free" —
"You Can't Pay a Cent "—"Hold On, Driver, I Weaken "—Sociability
of New Yorkers" 320
CHAPTER XLVn.
Buck Fanshaw's Death — ^The Cause Thereof— Preparations for His Burial —
Seotty Briggs the Committee Man— He Visits the Minister— Scotty Can't
Play His Hand— The Minister Gets Mixed— Both Begin to See— "All
Down Again But Nine"— Buck Fanshaw as a Citizen— How To "Shook Your
Mother "—The Funeral— Scotty Brigga as a Sunday School Teacher 329
CHAPTER XLVm.
The First Twenty-Six Graves in Nevada — The Prominent Men of the County —
The Man Who Had Killed His Dozen — Trial by Jury — Specimen Jurors —
A Private Grave Yard — The Desperadoes — Who They Killed — Waking up
the Weary Passenger — Satisfaction Without Fighting 339
xvi Contents,
CHAPTER XLIX.
Fatal Shooting Affray— Robbery and Desperate Affray— A Specimen City Offi-
cial—A Marked Man— A Street Fight— Punishment of Crime 847
CHAPTER L.
Captain Ned Blakely— Bill Nookes Receives Desired Information— Killing of
Blakely's Mate— A Walking Battery— Blakely Secures Nookes— Hang
First and Be Tried Afterwards— Captain Blakely as a Chaplain— The
I First Chapter of Genesis Bead at a Hanging— Nookes Hung— Blakely's
Regrets 36a
CHAPTER LI.
The Weekly Occidental— A Ready Editoi^— A Novel— A Concentration of Tal-
ent— The Heroes and the Heroines— The Dissolute Author Engaged— Ex-
traordinary Havoc With the Novel— A Highly Romantic Chapter— The
Lovers Separated— Jonah Out-done— A Lost Poem— The Aged Filot Man
—Storm On the Erie Canal— DoUinger the Pilot Man— Terrific Gale-
Danger Increases — A Crisis A'.'rived--Saved as if by a Miracle 360
CHAPTER LH
Freights to California — Silver Bricks — ^Under Ground Mines — ^Timber Supports
—A Visit to the Mines— The Caved Mines— Total of Shipments in 18&3 . 876
CHAPTER LIU.
Jim Blaine and his Grandfather's Bam— Filkin's Mistake — Old Miss Wagner
and her GJags Eye — Jacobs, the Coffin Dealer — Waiting for a Customer —
His Bargain With Old Robbins — ^Robbins Sues for Damage and Collects
— ^A New Use for Missionaries — The Effect — His Uncle Lem. and the Use
Providence Made of Him— Sad Fate of Wheeler — Devotion of His Wife —
A Model Monument-^What About the Ram? 388
CHAPTER LIV.
(Siinese in Virginia City— Washing Bills— Habit of Imitation— Chinese Immi-
gration—A Visit to Chinatown- Messrs. Ah Sing, Hong Wo, See Yup, &c. 891
CHAPTER LV.
Tired of Virginia City — ^An Old Schoolmate — ^A Two Tears' Loan — Acting
as an Editor — ^Almost Receive an Offer — ^An Accident — Three Drunkea
Anecdotes — Last Look at Mt. Di^vidson — ^A Beautiful Incident 398
CHAPTER LVL
Off for San Francisco — Western and Eastern Landscapes — ^The Hottest place
on Earth — Summer and Winter _ _ 40g
CHAPTER LVn.
California — Novelty of Seeing a Woman—" Well if it am't a Child !"— Onb
Hundred and Fifty Dollars for a Kiss— Waiting for a turn 414
CHAPTER LVni.
Life in San Francisco— Worthless Stocks — My First Earthquake — ^Beporto-
rial Instincts— Effects of the Shocks — Incidents and Cariosities — Sabbath
Breakers — The Lodger and the Chambermaid — ^A Sensible Fashion to
Follow — ^Effects of the Earthquake on the Mmisters 419
Contents. xvii
CHAPTER LIX.
Poor Again — Slinking as a Business — A Model Collector — Misery lores Com-
pany— Comparing Notes for Comfort — A Streak of Luck — ^Finding a
Dime — Wealthy by Comparison — Two Sumptuous Dinners 428
CHAPTER LX.
An Old Friend — ^Au Educated Miner — ^Pocket Mining — Freaks of Fortune ... 43S
CHAPTER LXI.
Dick Baker and his Cat — ^Tom Quartz's Peculiarities — On an Excursion — Ap-
pearance On His Return — A Prejudiced Cat — Empty Pockets and a Ro-
ving Life 439
CHAPTER LXn.
Bound for the Sandwich Islands — ^The Three Captains — The Old Admiral — His
Daily Habits — His Well Foug'ht Fields — An Unexpected Opponent — The
Admiral Overpowered — The Victor Declared a Hero 443
CHAPTER LXIIL
Arrival at the Islands — ^Honolulu — What I Saw There — Dress and Habits of
the Inhabitants — The Animal Kingdom — Fruits and Delightful Effects. . 464
CHAPTER LXrV.
An Excursion — Captain Phillips and his Tum-Out — A Horseback Ride — A
Vicious Animal — ^Nature and Art — Interesting Ruins — All Praise to the
Missionaries 489
CHAPTER LXV.
Interesting Mementoes and Relics — An Old Legend of a Frightful Leap — ^An
Appreciative Horse — Horse Jockeys and Their Brothers — A New Trick
— A Hay Merchant — Good Country for Horse Lovers 46fi
CHAPTER LXVL
A Saturday Afternoon — Sandwich Island Girls on a Frolic — The Poi Merchant
— Grand Gala Day — A Native Dance — Church Membership — Cats and
Officials — An Overwhelming Discovery 4T3
CHAPTER LXVn.
The Legislature of the Island — ^What Its President Has Seen — ^Praying for an
Enemy — Women's Rights — Romantic Fashions — Worship of the Shark —
Desire for Dress — Full Dress — Not Paris Style — Playing Empire — Officials
and Foreign Ambassadors — Overwhelming Magnificence 480
CHAPTER LXVIIL
A Royal Funeral— Order of Procession— Pomp and Ceremony— A Striking
Contrast— A Sick Monarch— Human Sacrifices at His Death— Burial Orgies 400
CHAPTER LXIX.
*' Once more upon the Waters."- A Noisy Passenger— Several Silent Ones—
A Moonlight Scene — Fruits and Plantations 498
2t
xviii Contents.
CHAPTER LXX
A Droll Character — Mrs. Beazely and Her Son — Meditations on Turnips —
A Letter from Horace Greeley — ^Au Indignant Rejoinder — The Letter
Translated but too Late 502
CHAPTER LXXL
Kealakebua Bay — Death of Captain Cook — His Monument — Its Construction
— On Board the Schooner 512
CHAPTER LXXn.
Young Kanakas in New England — A Temple Built by Ghosts — Female Bath-
era — I Stood Guard — Women and Whiskey — ^A Fight for Religion — ^Arri-
Talof Missionaries 517
CHAPTER LXXm.
Native Canoes — Surf Bathing — ^A Sanctuary — ^How Built — The Queen's Rock
— Curiosities — ^Petrified Lava 524
CHAPTER LXXIV.
Visit to the Volcano — The Crater — Pillar of Fire — Magnificent Spectacle — A
Lake of Fire 532
CHAPTER LXXV.
The North Lake — Fountains of Fire — Streams of Burning Lava — ^Tidal Waves 538
CHAPTER LXXVL
A Reminiscence— Another Horse Story — ^My Ride with the Retired Milk
Horse — A Picnicing Excursion — Dead Volcano of Holeakala — Compar-
ison with Vesuvius — ^An Inside View 544
CHAPTER LXXVn.
A Curious Character— ^A Series of Stories — Sad Fate of a Liar — Evidence of
Insanity 661
CHAPTER LXXVHL
Return to San Francisco — Ship Amusements — ^Preparing for Lecturing — ^Val-
uable Assistance Secured — My First Attempt — The Audience Carried —
"All's Well that Ends Well." 558
CHAPTER LXSrS.
Highwaymen — ^A Predicament — A Huge Joke — Farewell to California — ^At
Home Again — Great Changes. Moral 664
APPENDIX
A. — Brief Sketch of Mormon History 872
B, — The Mountain Meadows Massacre 676
C, — Concerning a Frightful Assassination that was never Consummated .... 680
OHAPTEE I.
MT brother had just been appointed Secretary of IN'evada
Territory — an office of such majesty that it con-
centrated in itself the duties and dignities of Treasurer,
Comptroller, Secretary of State, and Acting Grovernor in the
Governor's absence. A salary of eighteen hundred dollars a
year and the title of " Mr. Secretary," gave to the great posi-
tion an air of wild and imposing grandeur. I was young and
ignorant, and I envied my brother. I coveted his distinction
and his financial splendor, but particularly and especially the
long, strange journey he was going to make, and the curious
new world he was going to explore. He was going to travel !
I never had been away from home, and that word " travel " had
a seductive charm for me. Pretty soon he would be hundreds
and hundreds of miles away on the great plains and deserts,
and among the mountains of the Far West, and would see buffa-
loes and Indians, and prairie dogs, and antelopes, and have
all kinds of adventures, and may be get hanged or scalped, and
have ever such a fine time, and write home and tell us all
about it, and be a hero. And he would see the gold mines
and the silver mines, and maybe go about of an afternoon
when his work was done, and pick up two or three pailfuls of
shining slugs, and nuggets of gold and silver on the hillside.
And by and by he would become very rich, and return home by
sea, and be able to talk as calmly about San Francisco and the
ocean, and " the isthmus " as if it was nothing of any conse-
quence to have seen those marvels face to face. What I
Buffered in contemplating his happiness, pen cannot describe.
And so, when he offered me, in cold blood, the sublime posi-
tion of private secretary under him, it appeared to me that
so
GETTING READY.
the heavens and the earth passed away, and the firmament
■was rolled together as a scroll ! I had nothing more to desire.
My contentment was complete. At the end of an hour or
ENVIOUS CONTEMPLATIONS.
two Iwas ready for the journey. ISTot much packing up was
necessary, because we were going in the overland stage from
the Missouri frontier to Nevada, and passengers were only
allowed a small quantity of baggage apiece. There was no
Pacific railroad in those fine times of ten or twelve years ago —
not a single rail of it.
I only proposed to stay in Nevada three months — I had no
thought of staying longer than that. I meant to see all I could
that was new and strange, and then hurry home to business. 1
little thought that I would not see the end of that three-month
pleasure excursion for six or seven uncommonly long years !
I dreamed all night about Indians, deserts, and silver bars,
and in due time, next day, we took shipping at the St. Louis
wharf on board a steamboat boimd up the Missouri Eiver.
HERMAPHEODITE STEAMER.
21
"We were six days going from St. Louis to " St. Jo." — a
trip that was so dull, and sleepy, and eventless that it has left
no more impression on my memory than if its duration had
been six minutes instead of that many days. No record is
left in my mind, now, concerning it, but a confused jumble
of savage-looking snags, which we deliberately walked over
with one wheel or the other ; and of reefs which we butted
and butted, and then retired from and climbed over in some
softer place ; and of sand-bars which we roosted on occasion-
ally, and rested, and then got out our crutches and sparred over.
In fact, the boat might almost as well have gone to St. Jo. by
land, for she was walking most of the time, anyhow — climbing
over reefs and clambering over snags patiently and laboriously
- r^
■^^,-^<sw^.
14 I ^^^'^ III
^p^^t
nmOCENT DREAMS.
all day long. The captain said she was a " bully " boat, and all she
wanted was more " shear" and a bigger wheel. I thought she
wanted a pair of stilts, but I had the deep sagacity not to say so.
CHAPTER II.
THE first thiBg we did on that glad evening that landed
us at St. Joseph was to hunt up the stage-office, and pay
a hundred and fifty dollars apiece for tickets per overland
coach to Oarson City, Nevada.
The next morning, bright and early, we took a hasty break-
fast, and hurried to the starting-place. Then an inconvenience
presented itself which we had not properly appreciated before,
namely, that one cannot make a heavy traveling trunk stand
for twenty7five pounds of baggage — ^because it weighs a good
deal more. But that was aU we could take — twenty-five
pounds each. So we had to snatch our trunks open, and
make a selection in a good deal of a hurry. "We put our
lawful twenty-five poimds apiece all in one valise, and shipped
the trunks back to St. Louis agaia. It was a sad parting, for
iiow we had no swallow-tail coats and white kid gloves to wear
at Pawnee receptions in the Kocky Mountaias, and no stove-
pipe hats nor patent-leather boots, nor anything else necessary
to make life calm and peaceful. "We were reduced to a war-
-^footing. Each of us put on a rough, heavy suit of clothing,
woolen army shirt and " stogy " boots included ; and into the
valise we crowded a few white shirts, some under-clothing
and such things. My brother, the Secretary, took along about
four pounds of United States statutes and six pounds of
Unabridged Dictionary; for we did not know — ^poor inno-
cents— ^that such things could be bought in San Francisco on
one day and received in Carson City the next. I was armed
FOKMIDABLE ARMAMENT.
23
to the teeth with a pitiful little Smith & "Wesson's seven-
shooter, which carried a ball like a homoeopathic pill, and it
took the whole seven to make a dose for an adult. But I
thought it was grand. It ap-
peared to me to be a dangerous
weapon. It only had one fault —
you could not hit anything with
it. One of our " conductors "
practiced awhile on a cow with
it, and as long as she stood still
and behaved herself she was safe ;
but as soon as she went to mov-
ing about, and he got to shooting
at other things, she came to grief.
The Secretary had a small-sized
Colt's revolver strapped around
him for protection against the
Indians, and to guard against
accidents he carried it uncapped.
Mr. George Bemis was dismally
formidable. George Berais was our fellow-traveler. "We had
never seen him before. He wore in his belt an old original
"Allen " revolver, such as irreverent people called a " pepper-
box." Simply drawing the trigger back, cocked and fired th«
pistol. As the trigger came back, the hammer would begin to
rise and the barrel to turn over,
and presently down would drop
the hammer, and away wotdd
speed the ball. To aim along
the turning barrel and hit the
thing aimed at was a feat which
was probably never done with
an "AUen" in the world. But
George's was a reliable weapon,
nevertheless, because, as one of the stage-drivers afterward
said, " If she didn't get what she went after, she would fetch
something else." And so she did. She went after a deuce of
LIGHT TRATELraa OBDEB.
THE "AM/Blf."
24
LUXURIES AND NECESSARIES.
epades nailed against a tree, once, and fetelied a mule standing
about thirty yards to the left of it. Bemis did not want the
mule; but the owner came out with a double-barreled shot-
gun and persuaded him to buy it, anyhow. It was a cheerful
INDUCEMENTS TO PUSCEASE.
weapon — the "Allen." Sometimes all its six barrels would
go off at once, and then there was no safe place in all the
region round about, but behind it.
We took two or three blankets for protection against frosty
weathei* in the mountains. In the matter of luxuries we were
modest — we took none along but some pipes and five pounds
«f smoking tobacco. "We had two large canteens to carry
water in, between stations on the Plains, and we also took vrith
us a little shot-"bag of silver coin for daily expenses in the way
of breakfasts and dinners.
OUK COACH
25
By eiglit o'clock everything was ready, and we were on tlie
otlier side of the river. We jumped into the stage, the driver
cracked his whip, and we bowled away and left " the States "
behind us. It was a superb summer morning, and all the
landscape was brilliant with sunshine. There was a freshness
and breeziness, too, and an exhilarating sense of emancipation
from all sorts of cares and responsibilities, that almost made
us feel that the years we had spent in the close, hot city, toil-
ing and slaving, had been wasted and thrown away. We
were spinning along through Kansas, and in the course of an
hour and a half we were fairly abroad on the great Plains.
Just here the land was rolling — a grand sweep of regular
elevations and depressions as far as the eye could reach — ^like
the stately heave and swell of the ocean's bosom after a storm.
And everywhere were cornfields, accenting with squares of
deeper green, this liinitless expanse of grassy land. But
presently this sea upon dry gi-ound was to lose its "rolling"
character and stretch away for seven hundred miles as level as
a floor !
Our coach was a great swinging and swaying stage, of the
most sumptuous description
^-an imposing cradle on
wheels. It was drawn by
six handsome horses, and
by the side of the driver
sat the "conductor," the
legitimate captain of the
craft; for it was his busi-
ness to take charge and
care of the mails, baggage,
express matter, and passen-
gers. We three were the
only passengers, this trip.
We sat on the back seat,
inside. About all the rest of the coach was full of mail
tags — for we had three days' delayed mails with us. Almost
touching our knees, a perpendicular wall of mail matter rose up
THE FACETIOUS EBIVEB.
A NEW POST OFFICE.
to the roof. There was a great pile of it strapped on top of
the stage, and both the fore and hind boots were full. "We
had twenty-seven hundred pounds of it aboard, the driver
PLEASING XEWS.
said — " a little for Brigham, and Carson, and 'Frisco, but the
heft of it for the Injuns, which is powerful troublesome
'thout they get plenty of trtick to read." But as he just then
got up a fearful con^nilsion of his countenance which was sug-
gestive of a wink being swallowed by an earthquake, we
guessed that his remark was intended to be facetious, and to
mean that we would unload the most of our mail matter
somewhere on the Plains and leave it to the Indians, or
whosoever wanted it.
"We changed horses every ten miles, aU day long, and fairly
flew over the hard, level road. "We jumped out and stretched
our legs every time the coach stopped, and so the night found
us still vivacious and unfatigued.
After supper a woman got in, who lived about fifty miles
A MODEKN SPHTNX.
2T
further on, and we three had to take turns at sitting outside
with the driver and conductor. Apparently she was not a
talkative woman. She would sit there in the gathering twi-
light and fasten her steadfast eyes on a mosquito rooting into
her arm, and slowly she would raise her other hand till she
had got his range, and then she would launch a slap at him
that would have jolted a cow; and aftferthat she would sit and
contemplate the corpse vsdth tranquil satisfaction — for she
never missed her m^osquito ; she was a dead shot at short range.
She never removed a carcase, but left them there for bait. I
sat by this grim Sphynx and watched her kill thirty or forty
mosquitoes — ^watched her, and waited for her to say something,
but she never did. So I finally opened the conversation my-
self. I said :
" The mosquitoes are pretty bad, about here, madam."
* " You bet ! "
" What did I understand you to say, madam ? "
"Ton bet!"
Then she cheered np, and faced around and said :
" Danged if I didn't begin to think you fellers was deef
and dumb. I did, b'. gosh.
Here I've sot, and sot, and
sot, a-bust'n muskeeters and
wonderin' what was ailin'
ye. Fust I thot you was
deef and dumb, then I thot
yon was sick or crazy, or
suthin', and then by and by
I begin to reckon you was
a passel of sickly fools that
couldn't think of nothing
to say. Wher'd ye come
from?"
The Sphynx was a
Sphynx no more ! The fountafns of her great deep were
broken up, and she rained the nine parts of speech forty days
and forty nights, metaphorically speaking, and buried us undet
THE SPHXNX.
28 A SOCIABLE HEIFER.
a desolating deluge of trivial gossip that left not a crag or pin-
nacle of rejoinder projecting above the tossing waste of dislo-
cated grammar and decomposed pronunciation !
How we suffered, suffered, suffered ! She went on, hour
after hour, till I was sorry I ever opened the mosquito ques-
tion and gave her a start. She never did stop again until she
got to her journey's end toward daylight ; and then she stirred
us up as she was leaving the stage (for we were nodding, by
that time), and said :
" ISTow you git out at Cottonwood, you fellers, and lay over
a couple o' days, and I'll be along some time to-night, and if
I can do ye any good by edgin' in a word now and then, I'm
right thar. Folks '11 tell you 't I've always ben kind o' offish
and partie'lar for a gal that's raised in the woods, and I am,,
with the rag-tag and bob-tail, and a gal has to be, if she wants
to he anything, but when people comes along which is my
equals, I reckon I'm a pretty sociable heifer after all."
We resolved not to " lay by at Cottonwood."
OHAPTEE III.
ABOUT an hour and a half before daylight we were bowl-
ing along smoothly over the road — so smoothly that
our cradle only rocked in a gentle, lulling way, that was grad-
ually soothing us to sleep, and dulling our consciousness—
when something gave away under us ! We were dimly aware
of it, but indifferent to it. The coach stopped. We heard
the driver and conductor talking together outside, and rum-
maging for a lantern, and swearing because they could not
find it — but we had no interest in whatever had happened,
and it only added to our comfort to think of those people
out there at work in the murky night, and we snug in our
nest with the curtains drawn. But presently, by the sounds,
there seemed to be an examination going on, and then the
driver's voice said :
" By George, the thoroughbrace is broke ! "
This startled me broad awake — as an undefined sense of
calamity is always apt to do. I said to myself : " Now, a
thoroughbrace is probably part of a horse ; and doubtless a
vital part, too, from the dismay in the driver's voice. Leg,
maybe — and yet how could he break his leg waltzing along
such a road as this ? No, it can't be his leg. That is impos-
sible, unless he was reaching for the driver. Now, what can
be the thoroughbrace of a horse, I wonder ? Well, whatever
comes, I shall not air my ignorance in this crowd, anyway."
Just then the conductor's face appeared at a lifted curtain,
30 ABANDONING THK MAIL-BAGS.
and his lantern glared in on us and our wall of mail matter.
He said :
" G-ents, you'll have to turn out a spell. Thoroughbrace is
broke."
"We climbed out into a chill drizzle, and felt ever so home-
less and dreary. "When I found that the thing they called a
" thorouglibrace " was the massive combination of belts and
springs which the coach rocks itself in, I said to the driver :
" I never saw a thoroughbrace used up like that, before,
that I can remember. How did it happen ? "
""Why, it happened by trying to make one coach carry
three days' mail — that's how it happened," said he. " And
right here is the veiy direction which is wrote on all the
newspaper-bags which was to be put out for the Injims for to
keep 'em quiet. It's most uncommon lucky, becuz it's so
nation dark I should 'a' gone by unbeknowns if that air
thoroughbrace hadn't broke."
I knew that he was in labor with another of those winks
of his, though I could not see his face, because he was bent
down at work ; and wishing him a safe delivery, I turned to
and helped the rest get out the mail-sacks. It made a great
pyramid by the roadside when it was all out. "When they had
mended the thoroughbrace we filled the two boots again, but
put no mail on top, and only half as much inside as there was
before. The conductor bent all the seat-backs down, and then
filled the coach just half full of mail-bags from end to end-
We objected loudly to this, for it left us no seats. But the
conductor was wiser than we, and said a bed was better than
seats, and moreover, this plan would protect his thoroughbraces.
"We never wanted any seats after that. The lazy bed was infi-
nitely preferable. I had many an exciting day, subsequently,
lying on it reading the statutes and the dictionary, and won-
dering how the characters would turn out.
The conductor said he would send back a guard from the
next station to take charge of the abandoned mail-bags, and
we drove on.
It was now just dawn ; and as we stretched our cramped
SLEEPING UNDER DIFFICULTIES. 3I
legs fall length on tlie mail sacks, and gazed out through this
windows across the wide wastes of greensward clad in cool,
powdery mist, to where there was an expectant look in the
eastern horizon, our perfect enjoyment took the form of a
tranquil and contented ecstasy. The stage whirled along at a
spanking gait, the breeze flapping curtains and suspended
coats in a most exhilarating way ; the cradle swayed and swimg
luxuriously, the pattering of the horses' hoofs, the cracking
of the driver's whip, and his " Hi-yi !, g'lang ! " were music ;
the spinning ground and the waltzing trees appeared to give
us a mute hurrah as we went by, and then slack up and look
after us with interest, or envy, or something ; and as we lay
and smoked the pipe of peace and compared all this luxury
with the years of tiresome city hfe that had gone before it, we
felt that there was only one complete and satisfying happiness
in the world, and we had found it.
After breakfast, at, some station whose name I have forgot-
ten, we three climbed up on the seat behind the driver, and
let the conductor have our bed for a nap. And by and by,
when the sun made me drowsy, I lay down on my face on top
of the coach, grasping the slender iron railing, and slept for
an hour or more. That vrill give one an appreciable idea of
those matchless roads. Instinct will make a sleeping man grip
a fast hold of the railing when the stage jolts, but when it only
swings and sways, no grip is necessary. Overland drivers and
conductors used to sit in their places and sleep thirty or forty
minutes at a time, on good roads, while spinning along at the
rate of eight or ten miles an hour. I saw them do it, often.
There was no danger about it ; a sleeping man will seize the
irons in time when the coach jolts. These men were hard
worked, and it was not possible for them to stay awake all the
time.
By and by we passed through Marysville, and over the
Big Blue and Little Sandy ; thence about a mile, and entered
Nebraska. About a mile further on, we came to the Big
Sandy — one hundred and eighty miles from St. Joseph.
As the Sim was going down, we saw the first specimen of
32
A LONG-EAEED ANIMAL.
an animal known familiarly over two thousand mUes of moun-
tain and desert — from Kansas clear to the Pacific Ocean — as
the "jackass rabbit." He is well named. He is just like any
other rabbit, except that he is from one third to twice as large,
has longer legs in proportion to his size, and has the most pre-
posterous ears that ever were mounted on any creature lut a
jackass. When he is sitting quiet, thinking about his sins, or
is absent-minded or unapprehensive of danger, his majestic
ears project above him con-
spicuously ; but the break-
ing of a twig will scare
him nearly to death, and
then he tilts his ears back
gently and starts for home.
All you can see, then, for
the next minute, is his long
gray form stretched out
straight and " streaking it"
through the low sage-brush,
head erect, eyes right, and
ears just canted a little to
the rear, but showing you
where the animal is, all the
time, the same as if he carried a jib. Now and then he makes
a marvelous spring with his long legs, high over the stunted
sage-brush, and scores a leap that would make a horse envious.
Presently he comes down to a long, graceful "lope," and
shortly he mysteriously disappears. He has crouched behind
a sage-bush, and will sit there and listen and tremble imtil you
get within six feet of him, when he will get under way again.
But one ilBst shoot at this creature once, if he wishes to see
him throw^ his heart into his heels, and do the best he knows
how. He is frightened clear through, now, and he lays his
long ears down on his back, straightens himself out like a
yard-stick every spring he makes, and scatters miles behind
him with an easy indifference that is enchanting.
Our party made this specimen "hump himself," as the
MEDITATION.
AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE MODERNIZED.
33
•^r\
ON Bcsnrass.
Long after
conductor said. The secretary started liim with a shot from
the Colt ; I commenced spitting at him with my weapon ; and
all in the same instant the old " Allen's " whole broadside let
go with a rat-
tling crash, and
it is not put-
ting it too
fitrong to say
that the rabbit
was frantic!
He<iroppedhis
ears, set up his
tail, and left for
San Francisco
at a speed which
can only be described as a flash and a vanish !
he was out of sight we could hear him whiz.
I do not remember where we first came across
.brush," but as I have been speaking of it I may as well describe
it. This is easily done, for if the reader can imagine a gnarled
and venerable live oak-tree
reduced to a little shrub
two feet high, with its rough
bark, its foliage, its twisted
boughs, all complete, he can
picture the "sage-brush"
exactly. Often, on lazy af-
ternoons in the mountains,
I have lain on the ground
with my face under a sage-
bush, and entertamed my-
self with fancying that the
gnats among its foliage were
liliputian birds, and that
the ants marching and countermarching about its base were
liliputian flocks and herds, and myself some vast loafer from
Brobdignag waiting to catch a little citizen and eat him.
It is an imposing monarch of the forest in exquisite minia^
3t
AUTHOK AS OTTLLrVBE.
34 THE EMIGRANT'S FKIEND.
ture, is the " sage-brush." Its foliage is a grayish green, and
gives that tint to desert and mountain. It smells like our do-
mestic sage, and " sage-tea" made from it tastes like the sage-
tea which all boys are so well acquainted with. The sage-
brush is a singularly hardy plant, and grows right in the midst
of deep sand, and among barren rocks, where nothing else in
the . vegetable world would try to grow, except "bunch-
grass." * The sage-bushes grow from three to six or seven
feet apart, all over the mountains and deserts of the Far West,
clear to the borders of California. There is not a tree of any
kind in the deserts, for hundreds of miles — there is no vegeta-
tion at all in a regular desert, except the sage-brush and its
cousin the " greasewood," which is so much like the sage-
brush that the difference amounts to little. Camp-fires and
hot suppers in the deserts would be impossible but for the
friendly sage-brush. Its trunk is as large as a boy's wrist (and
from that up to a man's arm), and its crooked branches are
half as large as its trunk-;-all good, sound, hard wood, very
like oak.
When a party camps, the first thing to be done is to cut
sao-e-brush ; and in a few minutes there is an opulent pile of
it ready for use. A hole a foot wide, two feet deep, and two
feet long, is dug, and sage-brush chopped up and burned in it
till it is fuU to the brim with glowing coals. Then the cooking
begins, and there is no smoke,- and consequently no swearing.
Such a fire will keep all night, with very little replenishing;
and it makes a very sociable camp-fire, and one around which
the most impossible reminiscences sound plausible, instructive,
and profoundly entertaining.
Sage-brush is very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a dis-
tinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the
* " Bunch-grass '' grows on the bleak mountain-sides of Nevada and
neighboring territories, and offers excellent feed for stock, even in the dead
of winter, wherever the snow is blown aside and exposes it ; notwithstand-
ing its unpromising home, bunch-grass is a better and more nutritious diet
for cattle and horses than almost any other hay or grass that is known^-eo
etock-men say.
"A NEW ARTICLE OF DIET.
35
jackass and his illegitimate child the mule. But their testi-
mony to its mitritiousness is worth nothing, for they will eat
pine knots, or anthracite coal, or brass filings, or lead pipe, or
old bottles, or anything that comes handy, and then go off
looking as gi-ateful as if they had had oysters for dinner. Mules
and donkeys and camels have appetites that anything will
relieve temporarily, but nothing satisfy. In Syria, once, at
the head-waters of the Jordan, a camel took charge of my
overcoat while the tents were being pitched, and examined it
with a critical eye, all over, with as much interest as if he had
an idea of getting one made like it ; and then, after he was
~]ck J-oggU s.Wem.&At. f
done figuring on it as an article of apparel, he began to con-
template it as an article of diet. He put his, foot on it, and
36 "TOO TOUGH FOR A CAMEL."
lifted one of the sleeves out witli his teeth, and thewed and
chewed at it, gradually taking it in, and all the while opening
and closing his eyes in a kind of religious ecstasy, as if he had
never tasted anything as good as an overcoat before, in his life.
Then he smacked his lips once or twice, and reached after the
other sleeve. Next he tried the velvet collar, and smiled a
smile of such contentment that it was plain to see that he
regarded that as the daintiest thing about an overcoat. The
tails went next, along with some percussion caps and cough
candy, and some fig-paste from Constantinople. And then my
newspaper correspondence dropped out, and he took a chance
in that — ^manuscript letters written for the home papers. But
he was treading on dangerous ground, now. He began to
come across solid wisdom in those documents that was rather
weighty on his stomach ; and occasionally he would take a
joke that would shake him up till it loosened his teeth ; it was
getting to be perilous times with him, but he held his grip
with good courage and hopefully, till at last he began to stum-
ble on statements that not even a camel could swallow with
impunity. He began to gag and gasp, and his eyes to stand
out, and his forelegs to spread, and in about a quarter of a min-
ute he fell over as stiff as a carpenter's work-bench, and died a
death of indescribable agony. I went and pulled the manu-
script out of his mouth, and found that the sensitive creature
had choked to death on one of the mildest and gentlest state-
ments of fact that I ever laid before a trusting public.
I was about to say, when diverted from my subject, that
occasionally one finds sage-bushes five or six feet high, and
with a spread of branch and foliage in proportion, but two or
two and a half feet is the usual height.
OHAPTEE lY.
AS the sun went down and the evening chill came on, we
made preparation for bed. We stirred up the hard
leather letter-sacks, and the knotty canvas bags of printed
matter (knotty and uneven because of projecting ends and
comers of magazines, boxes and books). We stirted them up
and redisposed them in such away as to make our bed as level
as possible. And we did improve it, too, though after all our
work it had an upheaved and billowy look about it, like a little
piece of a stormy sea. Next we hunted up our boots from
odd nooks among the mail-bags where they had settled, and
put them on. Then we got down our coats, vests, pantaloon*
and heavy woolen shirts, from the arm-loops where they had
been swinging all day, and clothed ourselves in them — for,
there being no ladies either at the stations or in the coach, and
the weather being hot, we had looked to om* comfort by strip,
ping to our underclothing, at nine o'clock in the morning.
All things being now ready, we stowed the uneasy Dictionary
where it would lie as quiet as possible, and placed the water-
canteens and pistols where we could find them in the dark.
Then we smoked a final pipe, and swapped a final yarn ; aftef
which, we put the pipes, tobacco and bag of coin in snug holes
and caves among the mail-bags, and then fastened down the
coach curtains all around, and made the place as " dark as the
inside of a cow," as the conductor phrased it in his pictur-
esque way. It was certainly as dark as any place could be-
nothing was even dimly visible in it.. And finally, we roUed
38
NIGHT TEAVELING.
ourselves up like silk-worms, each person in his own blanket,-
and sank peacefully to sleep.
Whenever the stage stopped to change horses, we would
wake up, and try to recollect where we were — and succeed —
and in a minute or two the stage would be off again, and we
likewis%, We began to get into country, now, threaded
here and ftiere with little streams. These had high, steep
banks on each side, and every time we flew down one bank
and scrambled up the qther, our party inside got mixed some-
what. First we would all be down in a pile at the forward
THIKD TRIP OF THE LTiAEBIEGBD.
end of the stage, nearly in a sitting posture, and in a second
we would shoot to the other end, and stand on our heads. And
we would sprawl and kick, too, and ward off ends and corners
of mail-bags that came lumbering over us and about us ; and
as the dust rose from the tumult, we would all sneeze in chorus,
and the majority of us would grumble, and probably say some
hasty thing, like : " Take your elbow out of my ribs ! can't
you quit crowding ? "
Every time we avalanched from one end of the stage to the
other, the Unabridged Dictionary would come too ; and every
AT THE STATION. 39
time it came it damaged somebody. One trip it " barked "
the Secretary's elbow ; the next trip it hurt me in the stomach,
and the third it tilted Bemis's nose up till he could look down
his nostrils — he said. The pistols and coin soon settled to the
bottom, but the pipes, pipe-stems, tobacco and canteens clattered
and floundered after the Dictionary every time it made an as-
sault on us, and aided and abetted the book by spilling tobacco
in our eyes, and water down our backs. .^
StiU, all things considered, it was a very comfortable night.
It wore gradually away, and when at la^i a cold gray light was
visible through the puckers and chinks in the curtains, we
yawned and stretched with satisfaction, shed our cocoons, and
felt that we had slept as much as was necessary. By and by,
as the sun rose up and warmed the world, we pulled off our
clothes and got ready for breakfast. "We were just pleasantly
in time, for five minutes afterward the driver sent the weird
music of his bugle winding over the grassy solitudes, and
presently we detected a low hut or two in the distance. Then
the rattling of the coach, the clatter of our six horses' hoofs,
and the driver's crisp commands, awoke to a louder and stronger
emphasis, and we went sweeping down on the station at our
smartest speed. It was fascinating — that old overland stage-
coaching.
We jumped out in undress uniform. The driver tossed his
gathered reins out on the ground, gaped and stretched com-
placently, drew off his heavy buckskin gloves with great deliber-
ation and insufterable dignity — taking not the slightest notice
of a dozen solicitous inquiries after his health, and humbly face-
tious and flattering accostings, and obsequious tenders of service,
from five or six hairy and half-civilized station-keepers and
hostlers who were nimbly unhitching our steeds and bringing
the fresh team out of the stables — for in the eyes of the stage-
driver of that day, station-keepers and hostlers were a sort of
good enough low creatures, useful in their place, and helping
to make up a world, but not the kind of beings which a person
of distinction could afford to concern himself with ; while, on
the contrary, in the eyes of the station-keeper and the hostler,
40 THE OVERLAND DRIVER.
the Stage-driver was a hero — a great and shining dignitary,
the world's favorite son, the envy of the people, the observed
of the nations. "When they spoke to him they received his
insolent silence meekly, and as being the natural and proper
conduct of so gi-eat a man ; when he opened his lips they all
hung on his words with admiration (he never honored a par-
ticular individual with a remark, but addressed it with abroad
generality to the horses, the stables, the surrounding country
and the human underlings) ; when he discharged a facetious
insulting personality at a hostler, that hostler was happy for
the day ; when he uttered his one jest — old as the hills, coarse,
profane, witless, and inflicted on the same audience, in the
'same language, eveiy time liis coach drove up there — ^the var-
lets roared, and slapped their thighs, and swore it was the best
thing they'd ever heard in all their lives. And how they
tiTOuld fly around when he wanted a basin of water, a gourd
of the same, or a light for his pipe ! — ^but they would instantly
insult a passenger -if he so far forgot himself as to crave a
favor at their hands. They could do that sort of insolence as
well as the driver they copied it from — for, let it be borne in
mpid, the overland driver had but little less contempt for his
passengers than he had for his hostlers.
The hostlers and station-keepers treated the really power-
ful conductor of the coach merely with the best of what was
their idea of civility, but the dri/oer was the only being they
bowed down to and worshipped. How admiringly they
would gaze up at him in his high seat as he gloved himself
with lingering deliberation, while some happy hostler held the
bunch of reins aloft, and waited patiently for him to take it !
And how they would bombard him with glorifying ejaculations
as he cracked his long whip and went careering away.
The station buildings were long, low huts,, made of sun-
dried, mud-colored bricks, laid up without mortar {adobes, the
Spaniards call these bricks, and Americans shorten it" to
^ddbies). The roofs, which had no slant to them worth speak-
ing of, were thatched and then sodded or covered with a thick
layer of earth, and from this sprung a pretty rank growth of
ACCOMMODATIONS AT THE "STATION-HOUSE." 41
weeds and grass. It was the first time we had ever seen a
man's front yard on top of his house. The buildings consisted
of barns, stable-room for twelve or fifteen horses, and a hut
for an eating-room for passengers. This latter had bunks in
it for the station-keeper and a hostler or two. You could rest
your elbow on its eaves, and you had to bend in order to get
in at the door. In place of a window there was a square hole
about large' enough for a man to crawl through, but this had
no glass in it. There was no flooring, but the ground was
packed hard. There was no stove, but the fire-place served
all needful purposes. There were no shelves, nd cupboards,
no closets. In a comer stood
an open sack of flour, and
nestling against its base were
a couple of black and vener-
able tin coffee-pots, a tin tea-
pot, a little bag of salt, and a
side of bacon.
By the door of the station-
keeper's den, outside, was a
tin wash-basin, on the ground.
Near it was a pail of water
and a piece of yellow bar
soap, and from the eaves
hung a hoary blue woolen
shirt, significantly — ^but this
latter was the station-keeper's
private towel, and only two
persons in all the party
might venture to use it — ^the
stage-driver and the con-
ductor. The latter would not, from a sense of decency ; the
former would not, because he did not choose to encourage the
advances of a station-keeper. We had towels — in the valise;
they might as well have been in Sodom and Gomorrah. We
(and the conductor) used our handkerchiefs, and the driver his
pantaloons and sleeves. By the door, inside, was fastened a
Bmall old-fashioned looking-glass frame, with two little frag-
APOWEUrtlL GLASS.
42
OUR WOBTHT LANDLORD.
AH HEIKLOOM.
ments of the original mirror lodged down in one corner of it.
Thig arrangement afforded a pleasant double-barreled portrait
of you when you looked into it, with one half of your head set
up a couple of inches above the other half. From the glass
frame hung the half of a comb by a string — ^but if I had to
describe that patriarch or die, I believe I would order some
sample coffins. It had come
down from Esau and Samson,
'and had been accumulating
hair ever since— along with
certain impurities. In one
comer of the room stood three
or four rifles and muskets, together with horns and pouches of
ammunition. The station-men
wore pantaloons of coarse,
country-woven stuff, and into
the seat and the inside of the
legs were sewed ample additions
of buckskin, to do duty in place
of leggings, when the man rode
horseback — so the pants were
half dull blue and half yellow,
and unspeakably picturesque.
The pants were stuffed into the
tops of high boots, the heels
whereof were armed with great
Spanish spurns, whose little, ii-on
clogs and chains jingled with
every «tep. The man wore a
huge beard and mustachios, an
old slouch hat, a blue woolen
shirt, no suspenders, no vest, no
coat — in a leathern sheath in his
belt, a great long " navy " re-
volver (slung on right side, hammer to the front), and project-
ing from his boot a horn-handled lowie-knife. The furniture
of the hut was neither gorgeous nor much in the way. The
rocking-chairs and sofas were not present, and never had been
OUB LANDLORD.
HIS "FIXINGS AND THINGS."
43
but they were represented by two three-legged stools, a pine-
board bench four feet long, and two empty candle-boxes.
The table was a greasy board on stilts, and the table-cloth and
napkins had not come — and they were not looking for them,
either. A battered tin platter, a knife and fork, and a tin pint
(Hip, were at each man's place, and the driver had a queens-
ware saucer that had seen better days. Of course this duke
sat at the head of the table. There was one isolated piece of
table furniture that bore about it a touching air of grandeur
in misfortune. This was the caster. It was German silver,
and crippled and rusty, but it was so preposterously out of
place there that it was suggestive of a tattered exiled king
among barbarians, and the majesty of its native position com-
pelled respect even in its degradation. There was only one
cruet left, and that was a stopperless, fly-specked, broken-
necked thing, with two
inches of vinegar in it, and
a dozen preserved flies with
their heels up and looking
sorry they had invested
there.
The station-keeper up-
ended a disk of last week's
bread, of the shape and size
of an old-time cheese, and
carved some slabs from it
which were as good as Ni-
cholson pavement, and ten-
derer.
He sljced off a piece of bacon for each man, but only the
experienced old hands made out to eat it, for it was condemned
army bacon which the United States would not feed to its
soldiers in the forts, and the stage company had bought it
cheap for the sustenance of their passengers and employes.
We may have found this condemned army bacon further out
on the plains than the section I am locating it in, but wej'ound
it — ^there is no gainsaying that.
Then he poured for us a beverage which he called " Slumr
DIQNiriED EXILE.
u
HOW HE "KEPT A HOTEL."
gulUon,'" and it is hard to think he was not inspired when
he named it. It reallj pretended to be tea, but there was
too much dish-rag, and sand, and old bacon-rind in it to deceive
DKINKIKO SLUMGXILI,ION.
the intelligent traveler. He had no sugar and no milk — not
even a spoon to stir the ingredients with.
We could not eat the bread or the meat, nor drink the
^ slumguliion." And when I looked at that melancholy vinegar-
cruet, I thought of the anecdote (a very, very old one, even
at that day) of the traveler who sat down to a table which
had nothing on it but a mackerel and a pot of mustard. He
aslced the landlord if this was all. The landlord said :
" All ! Why, thunder and lightning, I should think theie
was mackerel enough there for six."
" But I don't like mackerel."
" Oh — then help yourself to the mustard."
In other days I had considered it a good, a very good,
anecdote, but there was a dismal plausibility about it, here^
that took aU the humor out of it.
ETIQUETTE AT THE TABLE.
45
Our breakfast was before us, but our teeth were idle.
I tasted and smelt, and said I would take coffee, I believed.
The station-boss stopped dead still, and glared at me speech-
less. At last, when he came to, he turned away and said, as one
who communes with himself upon a matter too vast to grasp :
" Coffee ! Well, if that
don't go clean ahead of me,
I'm d d!"
"We could not eat, and
there was no conversation
among the hostlers and
herdsmen — we all sat at the
same board. At least there
was no conversation further
than a single hurried request,
now and then, from one em-
ploye to another. It was
always in the same form,
and always gruffly friendly.
Its western freshness and
novelty startled me, at first,
and interested me; but it
presently grew monotonous,
and lost its charm. It was :
" Pass the bread, you son
of a skunk ! " No, I forget — skunk was not the word ; it seems
to me it was still stronger than that ; I know it was, in fact,
but it is gone from my memory, apparently. However, it is
no matter — ^probably it was too strong for print, anyway. It
is the lp,ndmark in my memory which tells me where I first
encountered the vigorous new vernacular of the occidental
plains and mountains.
"We gave up the breakfast, and paid our dollar apiece and
went back to our mail-bag bed in the coach, and found com-
fort in our pipes. Eight here we suffered the first diminution
of our princely state. We left our six fine horses and took six
mules in their place. But they were wUd Mexican fellows, and-
A JOKE WITHOUT CBBAM.
46 OVERLAND JOURNEY TEN TEARS AGO.
a man had to stand at the head of each of them and hold him
fast while the driver gloved and got himself ready. And
when at last he grasped the reins and gave the word, the men
Bprmig suddenly away from the mules' heads and the coach
shot from the station as if it had issued from a cannon. How
the fi'antic animals did scamper ! It was a fierce and furious
gallop— and the gait never altered for a moment till we reeled
off ten or twelve miles and swept up to the next collection of
little station-huts and stables.
So we flew along all day. At 2 p.m. the belt of timber
that fringes the North Platte and marks its windings through;
the vast level floor of the Plains came in sight. At 4 p.m.
we , crossed a branch of the river, and at 6 p.m. we crossed
the Platte itself, and landed at Fort Kearney, Jiftysix houis
oy,t from St. Joe— theeb huitoeed miles !
■ ISTow that was stage-coaching on the great overland, ten or
twelve years ago, when perhaps not more than ten men in
Anaerica, all told, expected to live to see a railroad follow thai ■
route to the Pacific. But the railroad is there, now, and it
pictures a thousand odd comparisons and contrasts in my mind
to read the following sketch, in the S^ew York Times, of a
recent trip over almost the very ground I have been describ*!
ing. I can scarcely comprehend the new state of things :
"ACEOSS THE CONTINENT.
" At 4.20 P.M., Sunday, we rolled out of tlie station at Omaha, and started
■westward on our long jaunt. A couple of hours out, dinner was announced —
an " event " to those of us who had yet to experience what it is to eat in one
of Pullman's hotels on wheels ; so, stepping into the car next forward of
oui- sleeping palace, we found ourselves in the dining-car. It was a reve-
lation to us, that first dinner on Sunday. And though we continued to diiffl
for four days, and had as many breakfasts and suppers, our whole party
never ceased to admire the perfection of the arrangements, and the marvelous
results achieved. Upon tables covered with snowy linen, and garnished with
services of solid silver, Ethiop waiters, flitting about in spotless white, placed
as by magic a repast at which Delmonieo himself could have had no occa-
sion to blush ; and, indeed, in some respects it would be hard for that distin-
guished ch^ to match our menu ; for, in addition to all that ordinarily makes
ACROSS THE CONTINENT.
47
up a first-ciop dinner, had we not our antelope steak (the gormand who has
not experienced this — bah ! what does he know of the feast of fat things ?)
our delicious mountain-brook trout, and choice fruits and berries, and (sauce
piquant and unpurchasable !) our sweet-scented, appetite-compelling air of
the prairies ? You may depend upon it, we all did justice to the good things,
and as we washed them down with bumpers of sparkling Krug, whilst we
PnLIiMAN CAB DINING-SAIOON.
sped along at the rate of thirty miles an hour, agreed it was the fastest living
we had. ever experienced. (We beat that, however, two days afterward
when we made twenty-seven, miles in twenty-sewn minutes, while our Cham-
pagne glasses filled to the brim spilled not a drop !) After dinner we re-
paired to our drawing-room car, and, as it was Sabbath eve, intoned some of
the grand old hymns—" Praise God from whom," etc. ; " Shining Shore,"
" Coronation," etc.— the voices of the men singers and of the women singers
blending sweetly in the evening air, while our train, with its great, glaring
Polyphemus eye, lighting up long vistas of prairie, rushed into the night
and the Wild. Then to bed in luxurious couches, where we slept the sleep
of the just and* only awoke the next morning (Monday) at eight o'clock, to
find ourselves at the crossing of the North Platte, three hundred miles from
Omolasi—flftem hov/rs and forty minvtes out,"
OHAPTEE Y.
ANOTHER night of alternate tranquillity and turmoiL
But morning came, by and by. It was another glad
awakening to fresh breezes, vast expanses of level greensward,
bright sunlight, an impressive solitude utterly without visible
hiunan beings or human habitations, and an atmosphere of
such amazing magnifying properties that trees that seemed
close at hand were more than three miles away. "We resumed
undress uniform, climbed a-top of the flying coach, dangled
our legs over the side, shouted occasionally at our frantic
mules, merely to see them lay their ears back and scamper
faster, tied our hats on to keep our hair from blowing away,
and leveled an outlook over the world-wide carpet about us
for things new and strange to gaze at. Even at this day it
thrills me through and through to think of the life, the glad-
ness and the wild sense of freedom that used to make the
blood dance in my veins on those fine overland mornings !
Along about an hour after breakfast we saw the first prai-
rie-dog villages, the first antelope, and the first wolf If I
remember rightly, this latter was the regular cayote (pro^
nounced ky-<?-te) of the farther deserts. And if it was, he
was not a pretty creature or respectable either, foi' I got well
acquainted with his race afterward, and can speak with con-
fidence. The cayote is a long, slim, sick and sorry-looking
THE CAYOTE.
49
OUR MORNING RIDE.
skeleton, with a gray wolf-skin stretched over it, a tolerably
bushy tail that forever sags down with a despairing expression
of forsakenness and misery, a furtive and evil eye, and a long,
sharp face, with
slightly lifted lip
and exposed teeth.
He has a general
slinking expression
all over. The ca-
yote is a living,
breathing allegory
of "Want. He is
always hungr J. He
is always poor, out
of luck and friend-
less. The meanest
creatures despise
him, and even the
fleas would desert
him for a velocipede. He is s6 spiritless and cowardly that
even while his exposed teeth are pretending a threat, the rest
of his face is apologizing for it. And he is so homely ! — so
scrawny, and ribby, and coarse-haired, and pitiful. "When he
sees you he Hfts his lip and lets a flash of his teeth out, and
then turns a little out of the course he was pursuing, de-
presses his head a bit, and strikes a long, soft-footed trot
through the sage-brush, glancing over his shoulder at you,
from time to time, till he is aboiit out of easy pistol range,
and then he stops and takes a deliberate survey of you;
he will trot fifby yards and stop again — another fifty and stop
again ; and finally the gray of his gliding body blends with
the gray of the sage-brush, and he disappears. All this is
when you make no demonstration against him ; but if you do,
he develops a livelier interest in his journey, and instantly
electrifies his heels and puts such a deal of real estate between
himself and your weapon, that by the time you have raised
the hammer you see that you need a minie rifle, and by the
4t
50
A DOG'S EXPERIENCES.
time you have got him in line you need a rifled cannon, and
by the time you have " drawn a bead " on him you see well
enough that nothing but an unusually long-winded streak of
lightning could reach him where he is now. But if you start
a swift-footed dog after him, you will enjoy it iever so much —
especially if it is a dog that has a good opinion of himself, and
has been brought up to think he knows something about speed.
The cayote will go swing-
ing gently off on that de-
ceitful trot of his, and
every little while he will
smile a fraudful smile
over his shoulder that
will fill that dog entirely
fidl of encouragement and
worldly ambition, and
make him lay his head
still lower to the ground,
and stretch his neck fur-
ther to the front, and
pant more fiercely, and
stick his tail out straighter
behind, and move his fii-
rious legs with a yet
wilder frenzy, and leave a
broader and broader, and
higher and denser cloud
PRAIBIE DOGS.
of desert sand smoking behind, and marking his long wake
across the level plain ! And all this time the dog is only a short
twenty feet beliind the cayote, and to save the soul of him he
cannot unders|and why it is that he cannot get perceptibly;
closer ; and he begins to get aggravated, and it makes him mad-
der and madder to see how gently the cayote glides along
and never pants or sweats or ceases to smile ; and he grows still
more and more incensed to see how shamefully he has been
taken in by an entire stranger, and what an ignoble swindle
that long, calm, soft-footed trot is ; and next he notices that he
A DOG'S EXPEKIKNCES CONTINUED.
51
is getting fagged, and that the cayote actually has to slacken
speed a little to keep from running away from him — ^and tliefn,
that town-dog is mad in earnest, and he begins to strain and
weep and swear, and paw the sand higher than ever, and reach
for the cayote with concentrated and desperate energy. This
" spurt " finds him six feet behind the gliding enemy, and two
miles from his friends. And then, in the instant that a wild
new hope is lighting up his face, the cayote tiims and smiles
blandly upon him once more, and with a something about it
which seems to say : " "Well, I shall have to tear myself away
from you, bub — ^business is business, and it will not do for me
^%?^v:2v-^^Y^ f^t
'-^--*^' v",?^<SS
A CA.TOTE.
to be fooling along this way all day " — and forthwith there is
a rushing sound, and the sudden splitting of a long crack
through the .'atmosphere, and behold that dog is solitary and
alone in the midst of a vast solitude !
It makes his head swim. He stops, and looks all around ;
climbs the nearest sand-mound, and gazes into the distance ;
shakes his he^d reflectively, and then, without a word, he
turns and jogs along back to his train, and takes up a humble
position under the hindmost wagon, and feels unspeakably
mean, and looks ashamed, and hangs his tail at half-mast for a
week. And for as much as a year after that, whenever there
is a great hue and cry after, a cayote, that dog will merely
glance in that direction without emotion, and apparently ob-
serve to himself, " I believe 1 do not wish aay of the pie."
5-2
THE CATOTE FAMILY AND KIN.
The cayote lives chiefly in the most desolate and forbidding
deserts, along with the lizard, the jackass-rabbit and the raven,
and gets an uncertain and precarious living, and earns it. He
seems to subsist almost wholly on the carcases of oxen, mules
and horses that have dropped out of emigrant trains and difed,
and upon windfalls of carrion, and occasional legacies of
SHOWINO KESPECT TO RELATIVES.
offal bequeathed to him
by w^hite men who hav4
been opulent enough to
have something better
to butcher than con-
demned army bacon.
He will eat anything in
iihe world that his first cousins, the desert-frequenting tribes
of Indians will, and they will eat anything they can bite.
It is a curious fact that these latter are the only creatures
known to history who will eat nitro-glycerine and ask for
more if they survive.
The cayote of the deserts beyond the Kocky Mountains
has a peculiarly hard time of it, owing to the fact that his
relations, the Indians, are just as apt to be the first to detect
a seductive scent on the desert breeze, and follow the fragrance
to the late ox it emanated from, as he is himself; and when
this occurs he has to content himself with sitting off at a little
BOARDING NEAR BY. 53
distance watching those people strip off and dig out everything
edible, and walk off with it. Then he and the waiting ravens
k explore the skeleton and polish the bones. It is considered
' that the cayote, and the obscene bird, and the Indian of the
desert, testify their blood kinship with each other in that they
live together in the waste places of the earth on terms of per-
fect confidence and friendship, while hating all other creatures
and yearning to assist at their funerals. He does not mind
going a hundred miles to breakfast, and a hundred and fifty to
dinner, because he is sure to have three or four days between
meals, and he can just as well be traveling and looking at the
scenery as lying around doing nothing and adding to the bur-
dens of his parents.
We soon learned to recognize the sharp, vicious bark of the.
cayote as it came across the murky plain at night to disturb,
our dreams among the mail-sacks ; and remembering his for-
lorn aspect a»4 ^is hard fortune, made shift to wish him the
blessed novelty of a long day's good luck and a limitless Mrder
the morrow.
CHAPTER YI.
OUR new conductor (just sliipped) had been without sleep
for twenty hours. Such a thing was very frequent-
From St. Joseph, Missouri, to Sacramento, California, by stage-
coach, was nearly nineteen hundred miles, and the trip was
often made in fifteen days (the cars do it in four and a half,
now), but the time specified in the mail contracts, and required
by the schedule, was eighteen or nineteen days, if I remember
rightly. This was to make fair allowance for winter storms
and snows, and other unavoidable causes of detention. The
stage company had everything under strict discipline and good
system. Over each two hundred and fifty miles of road they
placed an agent or superintendent, and invested him with
great authority. His beat or jurisdiction of two hundred and
fifty miles was called a "division." He purchased horees,
miiles harness, and -food for men and beasts, and distributed
these things among his stage stations, from time to time, ac-
cording to his judgment of what each station needed. He
erected station buildings and dug wells. He attended to the
paying of the station-keepers, hostlers, drivers and blacksmiths;
and discharged them whenever he chose. He was a very,
very great man in his " division " — a kind of Grand Mogul, a
Sultan of the Indies, in whose presence common men were
modest of speech and manner, and in the glare of whose great-
ness even the dazzling stage-driver dwindled to a penny dip.
There were about eight of these kings, all told, on the over-
land route.
Next in rank and importance to the division-agent came the
THE OVERLAND CONDUCTOR.
55
" conductor." His beat was tlie same length as the agent's —
two hundred and fifty miles. He sat with the driver, and
(wheii necessary) rode that fearful distance, night and day,
without other rest or sleep than what he could get perched
thus on top of the flying vehicle. Think of it ! He had abso-
lute charge of the mails, express matter, passengers and stage,
coach, until he delivered them to the next conductor, and got
his receipt for them. Con- y.^-
sequently he had to be a /
man of intelligence, de-
cision and considerable ex-
ecutive ability. He was
usually a quiet, pleasant
man, who attended closely
to his duties, and was a good
deal of a gentleman. It was
not absolutely necessary that
the division-agent should be
a gentleman, and occasion-
ally he wasn't. But he was
always a general in admin-
istrative ability, and a bull-
dog in courage and deter-
mination — otherwise the
chieftainship over the law-
less underlings of the over-
land service would never in any instance have been to him
anything but an equivalent for a month of insolence and dis-
tress and a bullet and a coffin at the end of it. There were
about ^teen or eighteen conductors on the overland, for there
was a daily stage each way, and a conductor on every stage.
Next in real and official rank and importance, after the
conductor, came my delight, the driver— next in real but not
in a^arera^ importance — ^for we have seen that in the eyes of
the common herd the driver was to the conductor as an admi-
ra.1 is to the captain of the flag-ship. The driver's beat was
pretty long, and his sleeping-time at the stations pretty short,
THE CONDnOTOB.
56 DKIVEKS ©OING DOUBLE DUTY.
sometimes ; and so, but for the grandeur of his position his
would have been a sorry life, as well as a hard and a wearing
one. We took a new driver every day or every night (for
they drove backward and forward over the same piece of road
all the time), and therefore we never got as well acquainted
with them as we did with the conductors ; and besides, they
would have been above being familiar with such rubbish as
passengers, anyhow, as a general thing. Still, we were always
eager to get a sight of each and every new driver as soon as the
watch changed, for each and every day we were either anxious to
get rid of an unpleasant one, or loath to part with a driver we
had learned to like and had come to be sociable and friendly
Avith. And so the first question we asked the conductor when-
ever we got to where we were to exchange drivers, was always,
'" Which is him ? " The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we
could not know, then, that it would go into a book some day.
•As long as everything went smoothly, the overland driver was
well enough situated, but if a fellow driver got sick suddenly
it made trouble, for the coach must go on, and bo the poten-
tate who was about to climb down and take a luxurious rest
after his long night's siege in the midst of wind and rain and
darkness, had to stay where he was and do the sick man's
work. Once, in the Kocky Mountains, when I found a driver
sound asleep on the box, and the mules going at the usual
break-neck pace, the conductor said never mind him, there was
no danger, and he was doing double duty — ^had driven seventy-
five miles on one coach, and was now going back over it on
this without rest or sleep. A hundred and fifty miles of hold-
ing back of six vindictive mules and keeping them from
climbing the trees! It sounds incredible, but I remember
the statement well enough.
The station-keepers, hostlers, etc., were low, rough charac-
ters, as already described ; and from western Nebraska to
Nevada a considerable sprinkling of them might be fairly set
down as outlaws— fugitives from justice, crincrinals whose best
security was a section of country which Avas without law and
without even the pretence of it. When the " division-agent "
AN OVERLAND SCHOOL.
57
issued an order to one of these parties he did it with the full
understanding that he might have to enforce it with a navy
six-shooter, and so he always went " fixed " to make things go
along smoothly. !N"ow and then a division-agent was really
obliged to shoot a hostler through the head to teach him some
THE SUPEBntTElTOBNT A3 A TEACHEE.
simple matter that he could have taught him with a clul> if hit
circumstances and surroundings had been difi'erent. But they
were snappy, able men, those division-agents, and when they
tried to teach a subordinate anything, that subordinate gener-
ally " got it through his head."
A great portion of this vast machinery — ^these hundreds of
men and coaches, and thousands of mules and horses — was in
the hands of Mr. Ben HoUiday. All the western half of the
business was in his hands. This reminds me of an incident of
Palestine travel which is pertinent here, and so I will transfer
it just in the language in which I find it set down in my
Holy Land note-book :
No doubt everybody has heard of Ben Holliday — a man of prodigious
energy, vrho used to send mails and passengers flying across the continent
58
YOUNG AMERICA AT JERICHO.
in his overland stage-coaclies like a very whirlwind — ^two thousand long
miles in fifteen days and a half, by the watch ! But this fragment of his-
tory is not about Ben Holliday, but about a young New- York boy by the
name of jack, who traveled with opr small party of pilgrims in the Holy^
Land (and who had traveled to California in Mr. Holliday's overland coaches
three years before, and had by no means forgotten it or lost his gushing ad-
miration of Mr. H.) Aged nineteen. Jack was a good boy — a good-hearted
and always well-meaning boy, who had been reared in the city of iXew
York, and although he was bright and knew a great many useful things,
his Scriptural education had been a gooa deal neglected — ^to such a degree,
indeed, that all Holy Land history was fresh and new to him, and all Bible
JACK AND THE ILDEELT PILGRIM.
names mysteries that had never disturbed his virgin ear. Also in our party
was an elderly pilgrim who was the reverse of Jack, in that he was learned
in the Scriptures and an enthusiast concerning them. He was our encyclo-
pedia, and we were never tired of Jistening to his speeches, nor he of making
them. He never passed a celebrated locality, from Bashan to Bethlehem,
without illuminating it with an oration. One day, when camped near the'
ruins of Jericho, he burst forth with something like this :
" Jack, do you see that range of mountains over yonder that bounds the
Jordan valley ? The mountains of Moab, Jack I Think of it, my boy— the
THOUGHTLESS COMPARISONS OF JACK. {fg
actual mountains of Moab — renowned in Scripture history 1 We are
actually standing face to face with those illustrious crags and peaks — and
for all we know " [dropping his voice impressively], " our eyes may be
resting at this wry moment upon the fipot where lies the mysterious
GRAVE OF Moses I Think of it. Jack 1 "
" Moses who ? " (falling inflection).
" Moses who! Jack, you ought to be ashamed of yourself — you ought to
be ashamed of such criminal ignorance. Why, Moses, the great guide, sol-
dier, poet, lawgiver, of ancient I^el ! Jack, from this spot where we stand,
to Egypt, stretches a fearful desert three hundred miles in extent — and
across that desert that wonderful man brought the ohildren of Israel ! —
guiding them with unfailing Sagacity for forty years over the sandy desola-
tion and among the obstructing rocks and hills, and landed them at last, safe
and sound, with insight of this very spot ; and where we now stand they
entered the Promised Land with anthems of rejoicing 1 It was a wonderful,
wonderful thing to do. Jack ! Think of it 1 "
"Forty years f Only three hund/red miles? Humph 1 Ben Holliday
would have fetched them through in thirty-six hours 1 "
The boy meant no harm. He did not know that he had said anything
that was wrong or irreverent. And so no one scolded him or felt offended
with him — and nobody covld but some ungenerous spirit incapable of
excusing the heedless blunders of a boy.
At noon on the fifth day out, we arrived at the " Crossing
of the South Platte," alias " Julesburg," alias " Overland
City," four hundred and seventy miles from St. Joseph — the
strangest, quaintest, funniest frontier town that our uhtraveled
eyes had ever stared at and been astonished with.
OHAPTEE YII.
rdid seem, strange enougli to see a town again after what
appeared to ns such a long acquaintance with deep, still,
almost lifeless and houseless solitude ! "We tumbled out into the
busy street feeling like meteoric people crumbled off the corner
of some other world, and wakened up suddenly in this. For an
hour we took as much interest in Overland City as if we had
never seen a town before. The reason we had an hour to spare
was because we had to change our stage (for a less sumptuous
affair, called a " mud-wagon ") and transfer our fi'eight of mails.
Presently we got under way again. We came to the
shallow, yellow, muddy South Platte, with its low banks and
its scattering flat sand-bars and pigmy islands — ^a melancholy
stream straggling through the centre of the enonnous flat
plain, and only saved from being impossible to find with the
naked eye by its sentinel rank of scattering trees standing on
either bank. The Platte was " up," they said — ^which made
me wish I could see it when it was down, if it could look any
sicker and sorrier. They said it was a dangerous stream to
cross, now, because its quicksands were liable to swallow np
horses, coach and passengers if an attempt was made to ford
it. But the mails had to go, and we made the attempt. Once
or twice in midstream the wheels sunk into the yielding sands
80 threateningly that we half believed we had dreaded and
avoided the sea all our lives to be shipwrecked in a " mud-
wagon " in the middle of a desert at last. But we dragged
through and sped away toward the setting sun.
A WONDERFUL BUFFALO HUNT.
61
* Next morning, just before dawn, when about five hundred
and fifty miles from St. Joseph,
our mud-wagon broke down.
We were to be delayed five or
six hours, and therefore we
took horses, by invitation, and
joined a party who were just
starting on a buffalo hunt. It
was noble sport galloping over
the plain in the dewy fresh-
ness of the morning, but ,our
part of the hunt ended in
disaster and disgrace, for a
wounded buffalo bull chased
the passenger Bemis nearly
two miles, and then he forsook
his horse and took! to a lone
tree. He was very sullen
about the matter for some
twenty-four hours, Tsut at last
he began to soften little by lit-
tle, and finally he said :
""Well, it was not funny,
and there was no sense in those
gawks making themselves so
facetious over it. I tell you
I was angry in earnest for
awhile. I should have shot
that long gangly lubber they
called Hank, if I could have
done it without crippling six
or seven other people — but of
course I couldn't, the old ' Al-
len's' so confounded comprfr
hensive. I wish those loafers
had been up in the tree ; they
laugh so. If ^ I had had a horse
wouldn't have wanted to
BEMIS'S VERSION OT IT.
worth a cent — but no, the minute lie saw that buifalo buJI
wheel on him and give a bellow, he raised straight up in the_
air and stood on his heels. The saddle began to slip, and I
took him round the neck and laid close to him, and hegsmi
to pray. Then he came down and stood up on the othei^
end awhile, and the bull actually stopped pawing sand and
bellowing to contemplate the inhuman spectacle. Then the
AU INHtTMAS SPECTACLE.
bull made a pass at him and uttered" a bellow that sounded
perfectly frightful, it was so close to me, and that seemed
to literally prostrate my horse's reason, and make a -raving
distracted maniac of him, and I wish I may die if he didn't
stand on his head for a quarter of a minute and shed tears.
He was absolutely out of his mind — ^he was, as sure as truth
itself, and he really didn't know what he was -doing. Then
the bull came charging at us, and my horse dropped down
0-1 all fours and took a fresh start— and then for the next
AN IMPROMTU CIRCUS.
63
tm minutes he would actually throw one hand-spring after
pother so fast' that the bull began to get unsettled, too, and
didn't know where to start in — and so he stood there sneezing,
d shovelling dust oyer his back, and bellowing every now
hd then, and thinldng he had got a fifteen-hundred dollar
circus horse for breakfast, cert^n. Well, I was first out on
his neck — the horse's, not the bull's — and then underneath,
and next on his rump, and sometimes head up, and sometimes
heels — but I tell you it seemed solemn and awful to be rip-
ping and tearing and carrying on so in the presence of death,
as you might say. Pretty soon the bull made a snatch for us
and brought away some of my horse's tail (I suppose, but do
not know, being pretty busy at the time), but something made.'
him hungry for solitude and suggested to hiin t6 get up and
hunt for it. And then you ought to have seen that spider-
legged old skeleton go ! and you ought to have seen the bull
Jl nbw depabtuke.
rat out after him, too — ^head down, tongue out,' tail up, bellow-
ing like everything, and actually mowing down the weeds, and
tearing up the earth, and boosting up the sand like a whirl-
wind ! By George, it was a hot race ! I and the saddle were
back on the rump, and I had the bridle in my teeth and hold-
64 HAIRBEEADTH ESCAPE.
ing on to the pommel with both hands. First we left the
dogs behimd ; then we passed a jackass rabbit ; then we over-
took a cayote, and were gaining on an antelope when the
rotten girth let go and threw me about thirty yards off to thd
left, and as the saddle went down over the horse's rump h'
gave it a lift with his heels that sent it more than four hun-
dred yards up in the air, I wish I may die in a minute if he
didn't. I feU at the foot of the only solitary tree there was
in nine counties adjacent (as any creature could see with the
naked eye); and the next second I had hold of the bark with
four sets of nails and my teeth, and the next second after that
I was astraddle of the main limb and blaspheming my luck in
a way that made my breath smell of brimstone. I had the
bull, now, if he did not think of one thing. But that one
thing I dreaded. I dreaded it very seriously. There was a
possibility that the bull might not think of it, but there were
greater chances that he would. I made up my mind what I
would do in case he did. It was a little over forty feet to
the ground from where I sat. I cautiously unwound the
lariat from the pommel of my saddle — "
" Tour saddle ? Did you take your saddle up in the tree
with you ? "
" Take it up in the tree with me ? Why, how you talk.
Of course I didn't. No man could do that. It feU in the
tree when it came down."
" Oh— exactly."
" Certainly. I unwound the lariat, and fastened one end
of it tb the limb. It was the very best green raw-hide, and
capable of sustaining tons. I made a slip-noose in the other
end, and then hung it down to see the length. It reached
down twenty4wo feet — ^half way to the ground. I then
loaded every barrel of the AUen with a double charge. I felt
satisfied, I said to myself, if he never thinks of that one
tiling that I dread, all right — but if he does, all right any-
how— I am fixed for him. But don't you know that the very
thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens ? Indeed
it is so. I watched the bull, now, with anxiety — anxiety
A PLAUSIBLE -STORY.
65
•whicli no one can conceive of who has not been in such a
situation and felt that at any moment death might come.
Presently a thought came into the bull's eye. I knew it ! said
J — ^if my nerve fails now, I am lost. Sure enough, it was
'just as I had dreaded, he started in to climb the tree — "
"What, the
bull?"
" Of course —
who else ? "
"But a bull
can't climb a tree."
"He can't,
can't he? Since
you know so much
about it, did you
ever see a bull
try?"
" No ! I never
dreamt of such a
thing.''
"Well, then,
what is the use
of your talking
that way, then ?
Because you never
saw a thing done,
is thati^r reason
why it can't be
done?"
"Well, all
right — go on.
What did you
dp?"
"The bull
started up, and got along well for abotit ten feet, then slipped
and slid back. I breathed easier. He trieffl it again — ^go^
5t . ■
SUBPENDEB OPEBATIOSS.
QQ UNDOUBTED PROOFS.
up a little higher — slipped again. But he came at it once
more, and this time he was careful. He got gradually
higher and higher, and my spirits went down more and
more. Up he came — an inch at a time — ^with his eyes^
hot, and his tongue hanging out. Higher and higher — '
hitched his foot over the stump of a limb, and looked up, as
much as to say, 'You are my meat, friend.' Up again —
higher and higher, and getting more excited the closer he got.
He was within ten feet of me ! I took a long breath, — and
then said I, 'It is now or never.' I had the coil of the
lariat all ready ; I paid it out slowly, till it hung right over
his head,; all of a sudden I let go of the slack, and the slip-
noose fell fairly round his neck! Quicker than lightning I
out with the Allen and let him have it in the face. It was an
awful foar, and must have scared the bull out of his senses.
Wllen the smoke cleared away, there he was, dangling in the
air, twenty foot from the ground, and going out of one con-
vulsion into another faster than you could count! I didn't
stop to count, anyhow — ^I shinned down the tree and shot for
' home."
" Bemis, is all that true, just as you have stated it ? "
" I wish I may rot in my tracks and die the death of a dog
if it isn't."
" "Well, we can't refuse to believe it, and we don't. But
if there were some proofs — "
" Proofs ! Did I bring back my lariat ? "
" Did I bring back my horse ? ".
"No."
" Did you ever see the bull again ? "
"No."'
" Well, then, what more do you want ? I never saw any-
body as particular as you are about a little thing like that."
I made up my mind that if this man was not a liar he only
missed it by the skin of his teeth. This episode reminds me
of an incident of my brief sojourn in Siam, years afterward,
The European citizens of a town in the neighborhood of Bang-
HOW WE "DKAWED HIM OUT." 67
kok had a prodigy among them by the name of Eckert^ an
Englishman — a person famous for the number, ingenuity and
imposing magnitude of his lies. They were always repeating
his most celebrated falsehoods, and always trying to "draw
him, out " before strangers ; but they seldom succeeded. Twice
he was invited to the house where I was visiting, but nothing
could seduce him into a specimen lie. One day a planter
named Bascom, an influential man, and a proud and sometimes
irascible one, invited me to ride over with him and call on
Eckert. As yye jogged along, said he :
" IS'ow, do you know where the fault lies ? It lies in putting
Eckert on his guard. The minute the boys go to pumping at
Eckert he knows perfectly well what they are after, and of
course he shuts up his shell. Anybody might know he would.
But when we get there, we must play him finer than that.
Let him shape the conversation to suit himself — let him drop
it or change it whenever he wants to. Let him see that no-
body is trying to draw him out. Just let him have his own
way. He will soon forget himself and begin to grind out lies
like a, mill. Don't get impatient — ^Just keep quiet, and let me
play him. I will make him lie. It does seem to me that the
boys must be blind to overlook such an obvious and simple
trick as that."
Eckert received us heartily — a pleasant-spoken, gentle-
mannered creature. "We sat in the veranda an hour, sippihg
English ale, and talking about the king, and the sacred white
elephant, the Sleeping Idol, and all manner of things ; and ■ I
noticed that my comrade never led the conversation himself
or shaped it, but simply followed Eckert's lead, and betrayed
no solicitude and no anxiety about anything. The effect was
shortly perceptible. Eckert began to grow communicative;
he grew more and more at his ease, and more and more talka-
tive and sociable. Another hour passed in the same way, and
then all of a sudden Eckert said :
" Oh, by the way ! I came near forgetting. I have got a
thing here to astonish you. Such a thing as neither you nor
any other man ever heard of—I've got a cat that will eat cocoa-
68
THE CAT THAT EAT COCOANFT.
nut ! Common green cocoanut — and not only eat the meat,
but drink the milk. It is bo— I'll swear to it."
A quick glance from Bascom — a glance that I under-
stood— then : i
"Why, bless my soul, I never heard of such a thing.
Man, it is impossible."
" I knew you would say it. I'll fetch the cat."
He went in the house. Bascom said :
" There — what did I tell you ? I^'ow, that is the way to
handle Eckert. You see, I have petted him along patiently,
and put his suspicions to sleep. I am glad we came. Ton
teU the boys about it when you go back. Cat eat a cocoanut
— oh, my ! Now, that is just his way, exactly — he will tell the
absurdest lie, and trust to luck to get out of it again. Cat eat
a cocoanut — the innocent fool ! "
A WONDERFUL LIE.
Eekert approached with his cat, sure enough. /
Bascom smiled. Said he :
" I'll hold the cat — you bring a cocoanut."
TRUTH STRANGER THAN FICTION.
69
Eckert split one open, and chopped up some pieces. Bas-
com smuggled a wink to me, and proffered a slice of the frmit
to puss. She snatched it, swallowed it ravenously, and asked
jfor more !
We rode our two miles in silence, and wide apart. At
least I was silent, though Bascom cuffed his horse and cursed
him a good deal, notwithstanding the horse was behaving well
enough. When I branched off homeward, Bascom said :
" Keep the horse till morning. And — ^you need not speak
of this ■ foolishness to the boys."
- «■
OHAPTEE VIII.
TK a little while all interest was taken up in stretching ovr
-*- necks and watching for the " pony-rider " — ^the fleet mes-
Benger who sped across the continent from St. Joe to Sacra-
mento, carrying letters nineteen hundred miles in eight dayft!
Think of that for perishable horse and human flesh and blood
to do ! The pony-rider was usually a little bit of a man, brim-
ful of spirit and endurance. IS'o matter what time of the
day or night his watch came on, and no matter whether it was
winter or summer, raiqing, snowing, hailing, or sleeting, or
whether his " beat " was a level straight road or a crazy trail
over mountain crags and precipices, or whether it led through
peaceful regions or regions that swarmed with hostile Indians,
he must be always ready to leap into the saddle and be off like
the wind ! There was no idling-time for a pony-rider on
duty. He rode fifty miles without stopping, by. daylight,
moonlight, starlight, or through the blackness of darkness —
just as it happened. He rode a splendid horse that was bom
for a racer and fed and lodged like a gentleman ; kept him
at his utmost speed for ten miles, and then, as he came crash-
ing up to the station where stood two men holding fast a fresh,
impatient steed, the transfer of rider and mail-bag was made
in the twinkling of an eye, and away flew the eager pair and
were out of sight before the spectator could get hardly the
ghost of a look. Both rider and horse went " flying light."
The rider's dress was thin, and fitted close ; he wore a " round-
about," and a skuU-cap, and tacked his pantaloons into his
THE PONT EXPRESS.
11
'HEKE HE COMES.
boot-tops like a race-jider. He carried no arms — he carried
nothing that was not absolutely necessary, for even the post-
age on his literary freight was wfirthjlve dollars a letter. He
,got but little frivo-
lous correspondence
to carry — his bag
had business letters
in it, mostly. His
horse was stripped
of all unnecessary
weight, too. He
wore a little wafer of a racmg-i
die, and no visible blanket. He
wore light shoes, or none at all.
The little flat mail-pockets strap-
ped under the rider's thighs would each hold about the bulk
of a child's primer. They held many and many an important
business chapter and newspaper letter, but these were written
on paper as airy and thin as gold-leaf, nearly, and thus bulk
and weight were economized. The stage-coach traveled about
a himdred to a hundred and twenty-five miles a day (twenty-
four hours), the pony-rider about two hundred and fifty. There
were about eighty pony-riders in the saddle all the time, night
and day, stretching in a long, scattering procession from Mis-
souri to California, forty flying eastward, and forty toward the
west, and among them making four hundred gallant horses
earn a stimng livelihood and see a deal of scenery every single
day in the year.
We had had a consuming desire, from the beginning, to
see a ;^ony-rider, but somehow or other all that passed us and
all that met us managed to streak by in the night, and so we
heard only a whiz and a hail, and the swift phantom of the
desert was gone before we could get our heads out of the win-
dows. But now we were expecting one along every moment,
and would see him in broad daylight. Presently the driver
exclaims :
" Here he comes ! "
Every neck is stretched further, and every eye strained
72
GENUINE ALKALI WATER.
CHANQINQ HOBSES.
wider. Away across the endless dead level of the prairie a
black speck appears against the sky, and it is plain that it moves.
Well, I should think so ! In a second or two it becomes a horse
and rider, rising i
it ■* and falling, ris-
ing and falling —
sweeping toward
lis nearer and near-
er— growing more
and more distinct,
more and more
sharply defined — ■
nearer and stiU
nearer, and the
flutter of the hoofe
comes faintlyto the ear — another instant a whoop and a hur-
rah from our upper deck, a wave of the rider's hand, but no
reply, and man and horse burst past jour excited faces, and
go winging away like a belated fragment of a storm !
So sudden is it all, and so like a flash of unreal fancy, that
but for the H^k^ of white foam left quivering and perishing on
a mail-sack after the vision had flashed by and disappeared, we
„might have doubted whether we had seen any actual horse and
man at aU, maybe.
We rattled through Scott's Bluffs Pass, by and by. It was
along here somewhere that we flrst came across genuine and
unmistakable alkali water in the road, and we cordially hailed
it as a first-class curiosity, and a thing to be mentioned with
eclat in letters to the ignorant at home. This water gave the
road a soapy appearance, and in many places the ground looked
as if it had been whitewashed. I think the strange alkali
water excited us as much as any wonder we had come upon
yet, and I know we felt very complacent and conceited, and
better satisfied with life after we had added it to our list of
things which we had seen and some other people had not. In
a small way we were the same sort of simpletons as those who
climb unnecessarily the perilous peaks of Mont Blanc and
A MAGNIFICENT RIDE.
73
tlie Matterhorn, and derive no pleasure from it e^ept the re-
flection that it isn't a conunon experience. But once in a
while one of those parties trips and comes darting down the
Jong moimtain-crags in a sitting posture, making the crusted
snow smoke behind him, flitting from bench to bench, and
from terrace to terrace, jarring the earth where he strikes, and
still glancing and flitting on again, sticking an iceberg into
himself every now and then, and tearing his clothes, snatching '
at things to save himself, taking hold of trees and fetching
them along with him, roots and all, starling little rocks now
and then, then big boulders, then acres of ice and snow and
patches of forest, gath-
ering and still gath-
ering as he goes,
adding and still add-
ing to his massed and
sweeping grandeur as
he nears a three thou-
feand-foot precipice,
till at last he waves
his hat magnificently
and rides into eter-
nity on the back of a
raging and tossing
avalanche !
This is all very
fine, but let us not be
, HIDING THE AYALAKOHE.
carried away by excitement, but ask calmly, how does this per-
son feel about it in his cooler moments next day, with six or
seven thousand feet of snow and stuff on top of him?
' "We crossed the sand hills near the scene of the Indian
mail robbery and massacre of 1856, wherein the driver and
conductor perished, and also all the passengers but one, it was
supposed ; but this must have been a mistake, for at difierent
times afterward on the Pacific coast I was personally ac-
quainted with a hundred and thirty-three or four people who
were wounded during that massacre, and barely escaped with
74 AN INDIAN MASSACRE.
their lives. There was no doubt of the truth of it — I had it
from their own lips. One of these parties told me that he
kept coming across arrow-heads in his system for nearly seven
years after the massacre ; and another of them told me that he^
was stuck so literally full of arrows that after the Indians
were gone and he could raise up and examine himself, he
could not restrain his tears, for his clothes were completely
iMiined.
The most trustworthy tradition avers, however, that only
one man, a person named Babbitt, survived the massacre, and
he was desperately wounded. He dragged himself on his
hands and knee (for one leg was broken) to a station several
miles away. He did it during portions of two nights, lying
concealed one day and part of another, and for inore than
forty hours suffering unimaginable anguish from hunger, thirst
and bodily pain. The Indians robbed the coach of everything
it contained, including quite an amount of treasure.
OHAPTEE IX.
TTT'E passed Fort Laramie in tlie niglit, and on the seventh
' ' morning out we found ourselves in the Black Hills,
with Laramie Peak at our elbow (apparently) looming vast
and solitary — a deep, dark, rich indigo blue in hue, so por-
tentously did the old colossus frown under his beetling
brows of storm-cloud. He was thirty or forty miles away, in
reality, but he only seemed removed a little beyond the low
ridge at our right. "We breakfasted at Horse-Shoe Station,
six hundred and seventy-six miles out from St. Joseph. We
had now reached a hostile Indian country, and during the
afternoon we passed Laparelle Station, and enjoyed great dis-
comfort all the time we were in the neighborhood, being
aware that many of the trees we dashed by at arm's length
concealed a lurking Indian or two. During the preceding
night an ambushed savage had sent a bullet through the pony-
rider's jacket, but he had ridden on, just the same, because
pony-riders were not allowed to stop and inquire into such
things except when killed. Ag long as they had life enough
left in them they had to stick to the horse and ride, even if
the Indians had been waiting for them a week, and were en-
tirely out of patience. About two hours and a half before we
arrived at Laparelle Station, the keeper in charge of it had
fired four times at an Indian, but he said with an injured air
that the Indian had " skipped around so's to spile everything
'—and ammunition's blamed skuffee, too." The most natural
76
AMONG THE INDIANS.
inference conveyed by his manner of speaking was, that in
" skipping around," the Indian had taken an unfair advantaga
The coach we were
in had a neat hole
through its front —
a reminiscence of
its last trip through
this region. The
bullet that made
it wounded the
driver slightly, but
he did not mind it
much. He said the
place ±0 keep a man
"huffy" was down
on the Southern
Overland, among
the Apaches, be-
fore the company
moved the stage-
line up on the northern route. He said the Apaches usedTto
annoy him all the time down there, and that he came as near
as anything to starving to death in the midst of abundance
because they kept him so leaky with bullet holes that he
"eouldn^t hold his vittles." This person's statement were
not generally believed.
We shut the blinds down very tightly that first night in
the hostile Indian country, and lay on our arms. "We slept
on them some, but most of the time we only lay on them.
We did not talk much, but kept quiet and listened. It was
an inky-black night, and occasionally rainy. We were among
woods and rocks, hills and gorges — so shut in, in fact, that
when we peeped through a chink in a curtain, we could dis-
cern nothing. The driver and conductor on top were still,
too, or only spoke at long intervals, in low tones, as is the
way of men in the midst of invisible dangers. We listened
to rain-drops pattering on the roof; and the grinding of the
INDIAS COUNTBT.
A DARK DEED. 77
wheels through the muddy gravel ; and the low wailina of the
wind ; and all the time we had that absurd sense upon us, in-
separable from travel at night in a close-curtained vehicle, the
sense of remaining perfectly still in one place, notwithstand-
ing the jolting and swaying of the vehicle, the trampling of
the' horses, and the grinding of the wheels.: We listened a
long time, with intent faculties and bated breath ; every time
one of us would relax, and draw a long sigh of relief and
start to say something, a comrade would be sure to utter a
sudden "Hark!" and instantly the experimenter was rigid
and listening again. So the tiresome minutes and decades of
minutes dragged away, until at last our tense forms filmed
over with a dulled consciousness, and we slept, if one might
call such a condition by so strong a name — for it was a sleep
set with a hair-trigger. It was a sleep seething and teeming
with a weird and distressful confusion of shreds and fag-ends
of dreams — a, sleep that was a chaos. Presently, dreams and
sleep and the sullen hush of the night were startled by a ring-
ing report, and cloven by such a long, wild, agonizing shriek !
Then we heard — ten steps from the stage —
" Help ! help ! help ! " [It was our driver's voice.]
« Kill him ! Kill him like a dog ! "
" I'm being murdered ! Will no man lend me a pistol 2 "
" Look out ! head him off! head him off ! "
[Two pistol shots ; a confusion of voicfes and the trampling
of many feet, as if a crowd were closing and surging together
around some object ; several heavy, dull blows, as with a club ;
a voice that said appealingly, " Don't, gentlemen, please don't
— I'm a dead man ! " Then a fainter groan, and another blow,
and away ^ed the stage into the darkness, and left the grisly
mystery behind us.J
What a startle it was ! Eight seconds would amply cover
the time it occupied — maybe even five would do it. We
only had time to plunge at a curtain and unbuckle and unbut-
ton part of it in an awkward and hindering flurry, when our
whip cracked sharply overhead, and we went rumbling and
thundering away, down a mountain " grade. "
78 POOE DISCRETION AND FATAL RESULTS.
We fed on that mystery the rest of the night— what was
left of it, for it was waning fast. It had to remain a present
mystery, for all we could get from the conductor in answer to
our hails was something that sounded, through the clatter of
the wheels, like " Tell you in the morning ! "
So we lit our pipes and opened the comer of a curtain for a
chimney, and lay there in the dark, listening to each other's
story of how he first felt and how many thousand Indians he
first thought had hurled themselves upon us, and what his
remembrance of the subsequent sounds was, and the order of
their occurrence. And we theorized, too, but there was never
a theory that would account for our driver's voice being out
there, nor yet account for his Indian murderers talking such
good English, if they were Indians.
So we chatted and smoked the rest of the night comfort-
ably away, our boding anxiety being somehow marvelously
dissipated by the real presence of something to be anxious
about.
We never did get much satisfaction about that dark occut^
rence. All that we could make out of the odds and ends of
the information we gathered in the morning, was that the
distm-bance occurred at a station; that we changed drivers
there, and that the driver that got off there had been talking
roughly about some of the outlaws that infested the region
(" for there wasn't a man around there but had a price on his
head and didn't dare show himself in the settlements," the
conductor said) ; he had talked roughly about these characters,
and ought to have " drove up there vnth his pistol cocked and
ready on the seat alongside of him, and begun business him-
self, becamse any softy would know they would be laying for
him."
That was all we could gather, and we could see that nei-
ther the conductor nor the new driver were much concerned
about the matter. They plainly had little respect for a man who
would deliver offensive opinions of people and then be so sim-
ple as to come into their presence unprepared to " back his judg-
ment," as they pleasantly phrased the killing of any fellow-being
BLOODT, DANGEEOUS, YET VALUABLE CITIZSj|f. 79
who did not like said opinions. And likewise they plainly had a
contempt for the man's poor discretion in venturing to rouse
the wrath of such utterly reckless wild beasts as those outlaws
— and the conductor added :
" I tell you it's as much as Slade himself wants to do ! " ^
This remark created an entire revolution in my curiosity.
I cared nothing now about the Indians, and even lost interest
in the murdered driver. There was such magic in that name,
Slade ! Day or night, now, I stood always ready to drop any
subject in hand, to listen to something new about Slade and
his ghastly exploits. Even before we got to Overland City,
we had begun to hear about Slade and his " division " (for he
was a " division-agent ") on the Overland ; and from the hour
we had left Overland City we had heard drivers and conduc-
tors talk about only three things — " Califomy," the Nevada
silver mines, and this desperado Slade. And a deal the most
of the talk was about Slade. We had gradually come to have
a realizing sense of the fact that Slade was a man whose heart
and hands and soul were steeped in the blood of offenders
against his dignity ; a man who awfully avenged all injuries,
aifronts, insults or slights, of whatever kind — on the spot if he
could, years afterward if lack of earlier opportunity compelled
it ; a man whose hate tortured him day and night till ven-
geance appeased it — and not an ordinary vengeance either,
but his enemy's absolute death— ^nothing less ; a man whose
face would light up with a terrible joy when he surprised a
foe and had him at a disadvantage. A high and efficient
servant of the Overland, an outlaw among outlaws and yet
their relentless scourge, Slade was at once the most bloody,
the most dangerous and the most valuable citizen that inhab-
ited the savage fastnesses of the mountains.
OHAPTEE X.
EEALLT and truly, two tMrds of the talk of drivers and
eonductors had been about this man Slade, ever since
tHe day before we reached Julesburg. In order that the east-
ern reader may have a clear cpnception of what a Eocky Moun^
tain desperado is, in his highest state of development, I will
reduce all this mass of overland gossip to one straightforward
narrative, and present it in the following shape :
Slade was bom in Illinois, of good parentage. At about
twenty-six years of age he killed a man in a quarrel and fled
the country. At St. Joseph, Missouri, he joined one of the
early Cahfomia-bound emigrant trains, and was given the post
of train-master. One day on the plains he had an angry dis-
pute with one of his wagon-drivers, and both drew their
revolvers. But the driver was the quicker artist, and had his
weapon cocked first. So Slade said it was a pity to waste life
on so small a matter, and proposed that the pistols be thrown
on the ground and the quarrel settled by a fist-fight. The
unsuspecting driver agreed, and threw down his pistol — where-
upon Slade laughed at his simplicity, and shot him dead !
He made his escape, and lived a wild life for awhile, divid-
ing his time between fighting Indians and avoiding an Illinois
eherifi', who had been sent to arrest him for his first murder.
It is said that in one Indian battle he killed three savages with
his own hand, and afterward cut their ears ofi' and sent themj
with his compliments, to tjie chief of the tribe.
Slade soon gained a name for fearless resolution, and this
8LADE AS DIVISION-AGENT.
81
was suflacient merit to procure for him the important post of
ov^erland division-agent at Julesburg, in place of Mr. Jules,
removed. For some time previously, the company's horses
had been frequent-
ly stolen, and the
coaches delayed, by
gangs of outlaws,
who were wont to
laugh at the idea of
any man's having
the temerity to re-
sent such outrages.
Slade resented them
promptly. The out-
laws soon found that
the new agent was a
man who did not
fear anything that
breathed the breath
of life. He made
short work of all
offenders. The re-
sult was that delays
ceased, the compa-
ny's property was let
alone, and no matter
what happened or
who suffered, Slade's coaches went through, e^ery time!
True, in order to bring about this wholesome change, Slade
had to kill several men — some say three, others say four, and
others six — but the world was the richer for their loss. The
first prominent difficulty he had was with the ex-agent Jules,
who bore the reputation of being a reckless and desperate
man himself. Jules hated Slade for supplanting him, and a
good fair occasion for a fight was all he was waiting for. By
and by Slade dared to employ a man whom Jules had once
discharged. Next, Slade seized a team of stage-horses which
6t
A. FB0F08ED FIST-PIOHT.
82 SLADE AND JULES EXCHANGING COUKTESIES.
he accused Jules of having driven oflF and hidden somewhere
for his own use. War was declared, and for a day or two the
two men walked warily about the streets, seeking each other,
Jules armed with a double-barreled shot gun, and Slade with
his history-creating revolver. Finally, as Slade stepped into a
store, Jules poured the contents of his gun into him from be-
hind the door.
Slade was
pluck, and
Jules got sev-
eral bad pistol
wounds in
return. Then
both men fell,
and were car-
ried to their
re spective
lodgings, both
swearing that
better aim
deadlier work
Both were bed-
ridden a long time, but Jules
got on his feet first, and
gathering his possessions to-
gether, packed them on a
couple of mules, and fled
to the Kocky Mountains to
gather strength in safety
against the day of reckoning.
For many months he was not seen or heard of, and was grad-
ually dropped out of the remembrance of all save Slade. him-
self. But Slade was not the man to forget him. On the con-
trary, common report said that Slade kept a reward standing
for his capture, dead or alive !
After awhile, seeing that Slade's energetic administration
had restored peace and order to one of the worst divisions of
FBOM BEHIND THE DOOK.
SUMMARY JUSTICE EXECUTED. 83
the road, the overland stage company transferred him to the
Kocky Eidge division in the Rocky Mountains, to see if he
could perform a like miracle there. It was the very paradise
of outlaws and desperadoes. There was absolutely no sem-
blance of law there. Violence was the rule. Force was the
only recognized authority. The commonest misunderstandings
were settled on the spot with the revolver or the knife. Mur-
ders were done in open day, and with sparkling frequency, and
nobody thought of inquiring into them. It was considered
that the parties who did the killing had their private reasons
for it ; for other people to meddle would haVe been looked
upon as indelicate. After a murder, all that Eoeky Mountain
etiquette required of a spectator was, that Tie should help the
gentleman bury his game — otherwise his churhshness would
surely be remembered against him the first time he killed
a man himself and needed a neighborly turn in interring
him.
Slade took up his residence sweetly and peacefully in the
midst of this hive of horse-thieves and assassins, and the very
first time one of them aired his insolent swaggeTings in his
presence he shot him dead ! He began a raid on the outlaws,
and in a singularly short space of time he had completely
stopped their depredations on the stage stock, recovered a large
number of stolen horses, killed several of the worst despera-
does of the district, and gained such a dread ascendancy over
the rest that they respected him, admired him, feared him,
obeyed him ! He wrought the same marvelous change in the
ways of the community that had marked his administration at
Overland City. He captured two men who had stolen over-
land stock", and with his own hands he hanged them. He was
supreme judge in his district, and he was jury and executioner
likewise — and not only in the case of offences agaiinst his em-
ployers, but against passing emigrants as well. On one occa-
sion some emigrants had their stock lost or stolen, and told
Slade, who chanced to visit their camp. "With a single com-
panion he rode to a ranch, the owners of which he suspected,
u
ACTS OF CRUELTY PEKPETKATED.
and opening the door, commenced firing, killing three, and
wounding the fourth.
From a bloodthirstily interesting little Montana book* I
take this paragraph :
While on the road, Slade held absolute sway. He would ride down to
a station, get into a quarrel, turn the "house out of windows^ and maltreat
the occupants most cruelly. The unfortunates had no means of redress, and
SLADE AS EXECUTIONER.
were compelled to recuperate as best they couid. On one of these occasions,
it is said he killed- the father of the fine little half-breed boy Jemmy, whom
he adopted, and who lived with his widow after his execution. Stories of
Slade's hanging men, and of innumerable assaults, shootings, stabbings
and beatings, in which he was a principal actor, form part of the legends
of the stage line. As for minor quarrels and shootings, it is absolutely ce^
tain that a minute history of Slade's life- would be one long reconl of such
practices.
' The Vigilantes of Montana," by Prof. Tlios. J. Dimsdale.
A DOOMED WHISKY SELLER.
85
Slade was a matchless marksman with a navy revolYer.
The legends say that one morning at Eocky Ridge, when he waa
feeling comfortable, he saw a man approaching who had of-
fended him some days before — observe the fine memory he
had for matters like that — and, "Gentlemen," skid Slade,
drawing, " it is a good twenty-yard shot — I'll clip the third
button on his coat ! " Which he did. The bystanders all
admired it. And they all attended the funeral, too.
On one occasion a man who kept a little whisky-shelf ait
the station did something which angered Slade — and went
and made his wiU. A day or two afterward Slade came in
AM UNPLEASANT VIEW.
and called for some brandy. The man reached under the
counter (ostensibly to get a bottle — pofisibly to get somethiilg
else), but Slade smiled upon him that peculiarly bland and
satisfied smile of his which the neighbors had long ago learned
to recognize as a death-warrant in disguise, and told him to
86 BLADE RKLEASED BY HI8 WIFE.
"none of that! — pass out the high-priced article." So the
poor bar-keeper had to turn his back and get the high-priced
brandy from the shelf; and when he faced around again he
was looking into the muzzle of Slade's pistol. " And the next
instant," added my informant, impressively, " he was one of
the deadest men that ever lived."
The stage-drivers and conductors t(fld us that sometimes
Slade would leave a hated enemy wholly unmolested, un-
noticed and unmentioned, for weeks together — had done it
once or twice at any rate. And some said they believed he
did it in order to lull the victims into unwatchfulness, so that
he could get the advantage of them, and others said they be-
lieved he saved up an enemy that way, just as a schoolboy
saves up a cake, and made the pleasure go as far as it would
by gloating over the anticipation. One of these cases was
that of a Frenchman who had offended Slade. To the sur-
prise of everybody Slade did not kill him on the spot, but let
him alone for a considerable time. Finally, however, he went
to the Frenchman's house very late one night, knocked, and
when his enemy opened the door, shot him dead — ^pushed the^
corpse inside the door with his foot, set the house on fire and
burned up the dead man, his widow and three children ! I
heard this story from several different people, and they evi-
dently believed what they were saying. It may be true, and
it may not. " Give a dog a bad name," etc.
Slade was captured, once, by a party of men who intended
to lynch him. They disarmed him, and shut him up in a
strong log-house, and placed a guard over him. He prevailed
on his captors to send for his wife, so that he might have a last
interview with her. She was a brave, loving, spirited woman.
She jumped on a horse and rode for life and death. When
she arrived they let her in without searching her, and before
the door could be closed she whipped out a couple of revolvers,
and she and her lord marched forth defying the party. And
then, under a brisk fire, they mounted double and galloped
away unharmed !
In the fulness of time Slade's myrmidops captured his
SLADE CAPTURES AN OLD ENEMY. 87
ancient enemy Jules, wliom they found in a well-chosen
hiding-place in the remote fastnesses of the mountains, gaining
a precarious livelihood with his rifle. They brought him to
Eocky Kidge, bound hand and foot, and deposited him in the
middle of the cattle-yard with his back against a post. It is
said that the pleasure that lit Slade's face when he heard of it
^wa,^ something fearful to contemplate. He examined his ene-
my to see that he was securely tied, and then went to bed,
content to wait till morning before enjoying the luxury of
killing him. Jules spent the night in the cattle-yard, and it is
a region where warm nights are never known. In the morn-
ing Slade practised on him with his revolver, nipping the flesh
here and there, and occasionally clipping off a finger, while
Jules begged him to kill him outright and put him out of his
misery. Finally Slade reloaded, and walking up close to his
victim, made some characteristic remarks and then dispatched
him. The body lay there half a day, nobody venturing to
touch it without orders, and then Slade detailed a party and
assisted at the burial himself. But he first cut off the dead
man's ears and put them in his vest pocket, where he carried
them for some time with great satisfaction. That is the story
as I have frequently heard, it told and seen it in print in Cali-
fornia newspapers. It is doubtless correct in all essential par-
ticulars.
In due time we rattled up to a stage-station, and sat down
to breakfast with a half-savage, half-civilized company of
armed and bearded mountaineers, ranchmen and station em-
ployees. The most gentlemanly-appearing, quiet and affable
officer we had yet found along the road in the Overland Com-
pany's service was the person who sat at the head of the table,
at my elbow. Never youth stared and shivered as I did when
I heard them call him Slade !
Here was romance, and I sitting face to face with it ! —
looking upon it — touching it — hobnobbing with it, as it were !
Here, right by my side, was the actual ogre who, in fights and
brawls and various ways, had taken the lives of twenty-^x
huma/n ieing8,.or all men lied about him ! I suppose I was
88
SLADE AT THE BBEAKFAST TABLE.
the proudest stripling that ever traveled to see strange lands
and wonderful people.
He was so friendly and so gentle-spoken that I warmed to
him in spite of his awful history. It was hardly possible to re-
alize that this pleasant person was the pitiless scourge of the
outlaws, the raw-head-and-bloody-bones the nursing mothers
of the mountains terrified their children with. And to this day
I can remember nothing remarkable about Slade except that
his face was rather broad across the cheek bones, and that the
cheek bones were low and the lips pecuUarly thin and straight.
But that was enough to leave something of an effect upon me,
for since then I seldom see a face possessing those characteristics
without fancying that the owner of it is a dangerous man.
The coffee ran out. At least it was reduced to one tin-
cup ful, and
Slade was
about to take
it when he saw
that my cup
was empty.
He politely of-
fered to fill it,
but although
I wanted it,
I politely de-
clined. I was
afraid he had
not killed any-^
body that
morning, and
might be need-
ing diversion.
But still with
fiiTii politeness he insisted on filling my cup, and said I had
traveled all night and better deserved it than he — and while
he talked lie placidly poured the fluid, to the last drop. I
thanked liim and drank it, but it gave me no comfort, for I
UNAPPRECIATED POLITENESS.
A SATISFACTORY LEAVE-TAKING.
89
could not feel sure that he would not be sorry, presently, that
he had given it away, and proceed to kill me to distract hia
thoughts from the loss. But nothing of the kind occurred.
We left him with only twenty-six dead people to accoimt
for, and I felt a tranquil satisfaction in the thought that in
so judiciously taking care of No. 1 at that breakfast-table
I had pleasantly escaped being No. 27. Slade came out to
the coach and saw us oflF, first ordering certain rearrangements
of the mail-bags for our comfort, and then we took lea\'e of
him, satisfied that we should hear of him again, some day, and
wondering in what connection.
CHAPTER XI.
AND sure enough, two or three years afterward, we did
hear of him again. News came to the Pacific coast
that the Vigilance Committee in Montana (whither Slade had
removed from Rocky Kidge) had hanged him. I find an
account of the aflt'air in the thrilling little book I quoted a
paragraph from in the last chapter — " The Vigilantes of Mon-
tana; being a Reliable Account of the Capture, Trial and
Execution of Henry Plummer's Notorious Road Agent Band :
By Prof. Thos. J. Dimsdale, Virginia City, M. T." Mr.
Dimsdale's chapter is well worth reading, as a specimen of
how the people of the frontier deal with criminals when the
courts of law prove inefficient. Mr. Dimsdale makes two re-
marks about Slade, both of which are accurately descriptive,,
and one of which is exceedingly picturesque : " Those who
saw him in his natural state only, would pronounce him to be
a kind husband, a most hospitable host and a courteous gentle-
man ; on the contrary, those who met him when maddened
with liquor and surrounded by a gang of armed roughs, would
pronounce him a fiend. incarnate." And this: "From Fort
Kearney, west, he was feared a great deal more than the Al-
mighty" For compactness, simplicity and vigor of expres-
sion, I will " back " that sentence against anything in literature.
Mr. Dimsdale's narrative is as follows. In all places where
italics occur, they are mine :
After the execution of the five men on the 14th of January, the Vigi-
lantes considered that their work was nearly ended. They had freed the
SLADE IN MONTANA. 91
country of highwaymen and murderers to a great extent, and they deter-
mined that in the absence of the regular civil authority they would estab-
lish a People's Court where all offenders should be tried by judge and jury.
This was the nearest approach to social order that the circumstances per-
mitted, and, though strict legal authority was wanting, yet the people were
firmly determined to maintain its eflSciency, and to enforce its decrees. It
may here be mentioned that the overt act which was the last round on the
fatal ladder leading to the scaffold on which Slade perished, was the tearing
in pieces and stamping upon a writ of this court, followed by his arrest of
the Judge, Alex. Dams, ly authority of a presented Derringer, and with his
own hands.
3. A. Slade was himself, we have been informed, a Vigilante ; he openly
boasted of it, and said he knew all that they knew. He was never accused,
or^even suspected, of either murder or robbery, committed in this Territory
(the latter crime was never laid to his charge, in any place) ; but that he
had killed several men in other localities was notorious, and his bad repu-
tation in this respect was a most powerful argument in determining his
fate, when he was finally arrested for the offence above mentioned. On
returning from Milk River he became more and more addicted to drinking,
until at last it was a common feat for him and his friends to " take the
town." He and a couple of his dependents might often be seen on one
horse, galloping through the streets, shouting and yelUng, firing revolvers,
etc. On many occasions he would ride his horse into stores, break up
bars, toss the scales out of doors and use most insulting language to par-
ties present. Just previous to the day of his arrest, he had given a fearful
beating to one of his followers ; but such was his influence over them that
the man wept bitterly at the gallows, and begged for his life with all his
power. It had become quite com/mon, when Slade was on a spree, for the
shop-keepers and citizens to close the stores and put out aU the lights ; being
fearful of some outrage at his hands. For his wanton destruction of goods
and furniture, he was always ready to pay, when sober, if he had money ;
but there were not a few who regarded payment as small satisfaction for
the outrage, and these men were his personal enemies.
From time to time Slade received warnings from men that he well
knew would not deceive him, of the certain end of his conduct. There
was not a moment, for weeks previous to his arrest, in which the public
did not expect to hear of some bloody outrage. The dread of his very
name, and the presence of the armed band of hangers-on who followed him
alone prevented a resistance which must certainly have ended in the instant
murder or mutilation of the opposing party.
Slade was frequently arrested by order of the court whose organization
we have described, and had treated it with respect by paying one or two
fines and promising to pay the rest when he had money ; but in the transac-
tion that occurred at this crisis, he forgot even this caution, and goaded by
passion and the hatred of restraint, he sprang into the embrace of death.
Slade had been drunk and " cutting up " all night. He and his companions
92 IN CUSTODY OF THE "VIGILANTES."
liad made the town a perfect hell. In the morning, J. M. Fox, the sheriff,
met him, arrested him, took him into court and commenced reading a war-
rant that he had for his arrest, by way of arraignment. He became uncon-
trollably furious, and seizing the writ, he tore it wp, threw it on the ground
SLADB IN COUBT.
and stamped upon it. The clicking of the locks of his companions' revolv-
ers was instantly heard, and u crisis was expected. The sheriff did not
attempt his retention ; but being at least as prudent as he was valiant, he
succumbed, leaving Slade the master of the sititation and the conqueror
and ruler of the courts, law and law-makers. This was a declaration of
war, and was so accepted. The Vigilance Committee now felt that the
question of social order and the preponderance of the law-abiding citizens
had then and there to be decided. They knew the character of Slade, and
they were well aware that they must submit to his rule without murmur,
or else that he must be dealt with in such fashion as would prevent hia
being able to wreak his vengeance on the committee, who could never have
hoped to live in the Territory secure from outrage or death, and who could
THE MINERS "ON BUSINESS." 93
never leave it without encountering Ijis friends, whom hiq victory would
have emboldened and stimulated to a pitch that would have rendered
tiiem reckless of consequences. The day previous he had ridden into
Dorris's store, and on being requested to leave, he drew his revolver
and threatened to kill the gentleman who spoke to him. Another saloon
he had led his horse into, and buying a bottle of wine, he tried to make
the animal drink it. This was not considered an uncommon performance,
as he had often entered saloons and commenced firing at the lamps, caus-
ing a wild stampede.
A leading member of the committee met Slade, and informed him in the
quiet, earnest manner of one who feels the importance of what he is saying :
" Slade, get your horse at once, and go home, or there will bo to pay."
Slade started and took a long look, with his dark and piercing eyes, at the
gentleman. "What do you mean?" said he. "You have no right to ask
me what I mean," was the quiet reply, " get your horse at once, and remem-
ber what I tell you." After a short pause he promised to do so, and actually
got into the saddle ; but, being still intoxicated, he began calling aloud to
one after another of his friends, and at last seemed to have forgotten the
warning he had received and became again uproarious, shouting the name
of a well-known courtezan in company with those of two men whom he
considered heads of the committee, as a sort of challenge; perhaps, Iwn-
ever, as a simple act of bravado. It seems probable that the intimation of
personal danger he had received had not been forgotten entirely ; though
fatally for him, he took a foolish way of showing his remembrance of it.
He sought out Alexander Davis, the Judge of the Court, and drawing a
cocked Derringer, he presented it at his head, and told him that he should
hold him as a hostage for his own safety. As the judge stood, perfectly
quiet, and offered no resistance to his captor, no further outrage followed on
this score. Previous to this, on account of the critical t-tato of affairs, the
committee had met, and at last resolved to arrest him. His execution had
not been agreed upon, and, at that time, would have been negatived, most
assuredly. A messenger rode down to Nevada to inform the loadi()g men
of what was on hand, as it was desirable to show that there was a feeling
of unanimity on the subject, all along the gulch.
The miners turned out almost en masse, leaving their work and forming
in solid column, about six hundred strong, armed to the teeth, they marched
up to Virginia. The leader of the body well knew the temper of his men
on the subject. He spurred on ahead of them, and hastily calling a meet-
ing of the executive, he told them plainly that the miners meant " busi-
ness," and that, if they came up, they would not stand in tlxe street to bo
shot down by Blade's friends ; but that they would take him and hang him.
The meeting was small, as the Virginia men were loath to act at all. This
momentous announcement of the feeling of the I,ower Town was made to
a cluster of men, who were deliberating behind a wagon, at the rear of a
store on Main street.
The committee were most unwilling to proceed to extremities. All the
y* TRIAL AND SENTENCE OF BLADE.
duty they had ever performed seemed as nothing to the task befdre them ;
but they had to decide, aud that quickly. It was finally agreed that if the
whole body of the miners were of the opinion that he should be hanged,
that the committee left it in their hands to deal with him. Off, at hot
speed, rode the leader of the Nevada men to join his command.
Slade had found out what was intended, and the news sobered him in-
stantly. He went into P. S. Pfouts' store, where Davis was, and apologized
for his conduct, saying that he would take it all back.
The head of the column now wheeled into Wallace street and marched up
at quick time. Halting in front of the store, the executive officer of the com-
mittee stepped forward and arrested Slade, who was at once informed of Ma
doom, and inquiry was made as to whether he had any business to settle.
Several parties spoke to him on the subject ; but to all such inquiries he
turned a deaf ear, being entirely absorbed in the terrifying reflections on
his own awful position. He never ceased his entreaties for life, and to see
his dear wife. The unfortunate lady referred to, between whom and Slade
there existed a warm affection, was at this time living at their ranch on the
Madison. She was possessed of considerable personal attractions ; tall,
well-formed, of graceful carriage, pleasing manners, and was, withal, an
accomplished horsewoman.
A messenger from Slade rode at full speed to inform her of her hus-
band's arrest. In an instant she was in the saddle, and with all the energy
that love and despair could lend to an ardent temperament and a strong
physique, she urged her fleet charger over the twelve miles of rough and
rocky, ground that intervened between her and the obJBct of her passionate
devotion.
Meanwhile a party of volunteers had made the necessary preparations
for the execution, in the valley traversed by the branch. Beneath the site
of Pfouts and Russell's stone building there was a corral, the gate-posts of
which were strong and high. Across the top was laid » beam, to which
the rope was fastened, and a dry-goods box served for the platform. To
this pl^ce Slade was marched, surrounded by a guard, composing the best
armed and most numerous force that has ever appeared in Montana Terri-
tory.
The doomed man had so exhausted himself by tears, prayers and lamen-
tations, that he had scarcely strength left to stand under the fatal beam.
He repeatedly exclaimed, " My God ! my God ! must I die ? Oh, my dear
wife ! "
On the return of the fatigue party, they encountered some friends of
Slade, staunch and reliable citizens aud members of the committee, but who
were personally attached to the condemned. On hearing of his sentence,
one of tliom, a stout-hearted man, pulled out his handkerchief and walked
away, weeping like a child. Slade still begged to see his wife, most
piteously, and it seemed hard to deny his request ; but the bloody conse-
quences that were sure to follow the inevitable attempt at a rescue, that her
presence and entreaties would have certainly incited, forbade the granting
EXECUTION OF SLADE. 95
at his request. Several gentlemen were sent for to see him, in his last mo-
ments, one of whom (Judge Davis) made a short address to the people ; but
in such low tones as to be inaudible, save to a few in his immediate vicinity.
One of his friends, after exhausting his powers of entreaty, threw off his
, coat and declared that the prisoner could not be hanged until he himself
was killed. A hundred guns were instantly leveled at him ; whereupon he
A WIFE'S LAMENTATION.
turned and fled ; but, being brought back, he was compelled to resume his
•coat, and to give a promise of future peaceable demeanor.
Scarcely a leading man in Virginia could be found, though numbers of
the citizens joined the ranks of the guard when the arrest was made. All
lamented the stem necessity which dictated the execution.
Everything being ready, the command was given, " Men, do your duty,"
and the box being instantly slipped from beneath his feet, he died almost
instantaneously. .
The body was cut down and carried to the Virginia Hotel, where, in a
darkened room, it was scarcely laid out, when the unfortunate and bereaved
companion of the deceased arrived, at headlong speed, to find that all was
over, and that she was a widow. Her grief and heart-piercing cries were
terrible evi<dences of the depth of her attachment for her lost husband, and
a considerable period elapsed before she could regain the command of her
excited feelings.
There is sometHng about the desperado-nature that is
wholly unaccountable — at least it looks unaccountable. It is
this. The true desperado is gifted with splendid courage, and
yet he will take the most infamous advantage of his enemy ;
armed and free, he will stand up before a host and figh^ until
96 "WA6 SLADE A COWARD."
he is shot all to pieces, and yet when he is under the gallows
and helpless he will cry and plead like a child. Words are
cheap, and it is easy to call Slade a coward (all executed men
who do not " die game " are promptly called cowards by unre-
flecting people), and when we read of Slade that he " had so
exhausted himself by tears, prayers and lamentations, that he
had scarcely strength left to stand under the fatal beam," the
"disgraceful word suggests itself in a moment — ^yet in fre-
quently defying and inviting the vengeance of banded Kocky
Mountain cut-throats by shooting down their comrades and
leaders, and never oiFering to hide or fly, Slade showed that he
was a man of peerless bravery. No coward would dare that.
Many a notorious coward, many a chicken-livered poltroon,
coarse, brutal, degraded, has made his dying speech without a
quaver in his voice and been swung into eternity with what
looked liked the calmest fortitude, and so we are justified in
believing, from the low intellect of such a creature, that it was
not moral courage that enabled him to do it. Then, if moral
courage is not the requisite quality, what could it have been
that this stout-hearted Slade lacked ? — this bloody, desperate,
kindly-mannered, urbane gentleman, who never hesitated to
warn his most ruffianly enemies that he would kill them when-
ever or wherever he came across them next I I think it is a
commdrum worth investigg.ting.
CHAPTEE XII.
JUST beyond the breakfast-station we overtook a Mormon
emigrant train of thirty-three wagons; and tramping
wearily along and driving their herd of loose cows, were doz-
ens of coarse-clad and sad-looking men, women and children,
who tad walked as they were walking now, day after day for
eight lingering weeks, and in that time had compassed the
distance our stage had come in eight days cmd three hours —
seven hundred and ninety-eight miles ! They were dusty and
uncombed, hatless, bonnetless and ragged, and they did look
so tired !
After breakfast, we bathed in Horse Creek, a (previously)
limpid, sparkling stream — an appreciated luxury, for it was
very seldom that our furious coach halted long enough for an
indulgence of that kind. We changed horses ten or twelve
times in every twenty-four hours — changed mules, rather —
six mules — and did it nearly every time in four minutes. ^ It
was lively work. As our coach rattled up to each station six
harnessed mules stepped gayly from the stable; and in the
twinkling of an eye, almost, the old team was out, and the
new one in and we off and away again.
During the afternoon we passed Sweetwater Creek, Inde-
pendence Eock, Devil's Gate and the Devil's Gap. The latter
were wild specimens of rugged scenery, and full of interest—
•we were in the hewrt of the Roeky Motmtains, now. And we
also passed by " Alkali " or " Soda Lake," and we woke up to
the fact that our journey had stretched a long way across the
98 AN ENTIRE INHABITANT.
world when the driver said that the Mormons often came
there from Great Salt Lake City to haul away saleratus. He
said that a few days gone by they had shoveled up enough
pure saleratus from the ground (it was a dry lake) to
load two wagons, and that when they got these two wagon-
loads of a drug that cost them nothing, to Salt Lake, they
could sell it for twenty-five cents a pound.
In the night we sailed by a most notable curiosity, and one
we had been hearing a good deal about for a day or two, and
were suffering to see. This was what might be called a nat-
ural ice-house. It was August, now, and sweltering weather
in the daytime, yet at one of the stations the men could scrape
the soil on the hill-side under the lee of a range of boulders,
and at a depth of six inches cut out pure blocks of ice — ^hard,
compactly frozen, and clear as crystal !
Toward dawn we got under way again, and presently as
we sat with raised curtains enjoying our early-morning smoke
and contemplating the first splendor of the rising sim as it
swept down the long array of mountain peaks, flushing and
gilding crag after crag and summit after summit, as if the
invisible Creator reviewed his gray veterans and they saluted
with a smile, we hove in sight of South Pass City. The hotel-
keeper, the postmaster, the blacksmith, the mayor, the consta-
ble, the city marshal and the principal citizen and property
holder, all came out and greeted us cheerily, and we gave liira
good day. He gave us a little Indian news, and a little Eocky
Mountain news, and we gave him some Plains information
in return. He then retired to his lonely grandeur and we
climbed on up among the bristling peaks and the ragged clouds.
.South Pass City consisted of four log cabins, one of which was
unfinished, and the gentleman with all those offices and titles
was the chiefest of the ten citizens of the place. Think of hotel-
keeper, postmaster, blacksmith, mayor, constable, city mar-
shal and principal citizen all condensed into one pei-son and
crammed into one skin. Bemis said he was " a perfect Allen's
revolver of dignities." And he said that if he were to die
as postmaster, or as blacksmith, or as postmaster and blacksmith
IN SIGHT OF ETERNAL SNOW..
botli, the people migLt stand it ; but if he were to die all over,
it would be a frightful loss to the community.
Two miles beyond South Pass City we saw for the first
time that myste-
rious marvel which
all Western un-
traveled boys have
heard of and fully
believe in, but are
sure to be astound^
ed at when they
see it with their
THE CONCBNIBATED INHABITANT.
own eyes, ne-rer-
theless — banks of
snow in dead sum-
mer time. We
were now far up
toward the sky, and
knew all the time
that we must pres-
ently encounter
lofty summits clad in the " eternal snow " which was so common-
place a matter of mention in books, and yet when I did see it glit-
tering in the sun on stately domes in the distance and knew the
month was August and that my coat was hanging up because it
was too warm to wear it,. I was full as much amazed as if I never
had heard of snow in August before. Truly, " seeing is be-
heving " — and many a man lives a long life through, thinhing
he believes certain universally received and well established
things, and yet never suspects that if he were confronted by
those things once, he would discover that he did not really.
believe them before, but only thought he believed them.
In a little while quite a number of peaks swung into view
with long claws of glittering snow clasping them ; and vnth
here and there, in the shade, down the mountain side, a little
solitary patch of snow looking no larger than a lady's pocket-
handkerchief, but being in reality as large as a " public square."
And now, at last, we were fairly in the renowned South
100 THE SOUTH PASS.
Pass, and whirling gayly along high above the common world.
We were perched upon the extreme summit of the great
range of the Eocky Mountains, toward which we had been
climbing, patiently climbing, ceaselessly climbing, for days
and nights together — and about us was gathered a convention
of Nature's kings that stood ten, twelve, and even thirteen
thousand feet high — grand old fellows who would have to
stoop to see Mount "Washington, in the twilight. We were in
such an airy elevation above the creeping populations of the
earth, that now and then when the obstructing crags stood
out of the way it seemed that we could look around and
abroad and contemplate the whole great globe, with its dis-
solving views of mountains, seas and continents stretching
away through the mystery of the summer haze.
As a general thing the Pass was more suggestive of a val-
ley than a suspension bridge in the clouds — but it strongly
suggested the latter at one spot. At that place the upper
third of one or two majestic pui-ple domes projected* above our
level on either hand and gave us a sense of a hidden great
deep of mountains and plains and valleys down about their
bases which we fancied we might see if we could step to the
edge and look over. These Sultans of the fastnesses were tur-
baned with tumbled volumes of cloud, which shredded away
from time to time and drifted off fringed and torn, trailing
their continents of shadow after them ; and catching presently
on an intercepting peak, wrapped it about and brooded there
— then shredded away again and left the purple peak, as they
had left the purple domes, downy and white with new-laid
snow. In passing, these monstrous rags of cloud hung low
and swept along right over the spectator's head, swinging their
tatters so nearly in his face that his impulse was to shrink
when they came closest. In the one place I speak of, one
could look below him upon a world of diminishing crags and
canyons leading down, down, and away to a vague plain with
a thread in it which was a road, and bunches of feathers in it
which were trees, — a pretty picture sleeping in the sunlight —
but with a darkness stealing over it and glooming its features
*^ ' -^*'^- 'ijv "^
TWO LONG JOURNEYS.
101
deeper and deeper under the frown of a coming storm ; and
then, while no film or shadow marred the noon brightness of
his high perch, he could watch the tempest break forth down
there and see the lightnings leap from crag to crag and the
sheeted rain drive along the canyon-sides, and hear the thun-
ders peal and crash and roar. "We had this spectacle; a famil-
iar one to many, but to us a novelty.
We bowled along cheerily, and presently, at the very sum-
mit (though it
all :
us
had been
summit to
and all equally
level, for half
an hour or more)
we came to
spring which
spent its water
through two out-
lets and sent it
in opposite di-
rections. The
conductor said tha
streams which we
at,
VV t/A t* J^_f\yi^.lll£i
V, was just starting on a jour-
ney westward to the Gulf of
California and the Pacific Ocean, through hundreds and even
thousands of miles of desert solitudes. He said that the
other was just leaving its home among the snow-peaks on
a similar journey eastward — and we knew that long after w:'e
should have forgotten the simple rivulet it would still be plod-
ding its patient way down the mountain sides, and canyoii-
beds, and between the banks of the Yellowstone ; and by and
by would join the broad Missouri and flow through unknown
plains and deserts and unvisited wildernesses ; and add a long
and troubled pilgrimage among snags and wrecks and sand-
bars; and enter the Mississippi, touch the wharves of St.
Louis and stiU drift on, traversing shoals and rocky channel^,
THE PABTED STKBAM.
102
OLD FKIENDS MEET.
then endless chains of bottomless and ample bends, walled
with iinbroken forests, then mysterious byways and secret pas-
ages among woody islands, then the chained bends again, bor-
dered with wide levels of shining sugar-cane in place of the
sombre forests ; then by New Orleans and still other chains
of bends — and finally, after two long months of daily and
nightly harassment, excitement, enjoyment, adventure, and
awful peril of parched throats, pumps and evaporation, pass
the Gulf and enter into its rest upon the bosom of the tropic
sea, never to look upon its snow-peaks again or regret them.
I freighted a leaf with a mental message for the friends at
home, and dropped it in the stream. But I put no stamp on
it and it was held for postage somewhere.
On the summit we overtook an emigrant train of many
wagons, many tired men and women, and many a disgusted
sheep and cow. In the wofully dusty horseman in charge of
the expedition I recognized John . Of all persons in the
world to meet on top of the
Eocky Mountains thousands
of miles from home,he was the
last one I should have looked
for. We were school-boys
together and warm friends
for years. But a boyish
prank of mine had disrup-
tured this friendship and
it had never been renewed.
The act of which I speak
was this. I had been ac-
customed to visit occasion-
ally an editor whose room
was in the third story of a
building and overlooked the
street. One day this editor
gave me a watermelon
IT S..0.LKO THE ME.ON. ^iji^i^ I ^^^^ preparations
to devour on the spot, but chancing to look out of the
DOWN THE MOUNTAIN.
103
window, I saw Jolm standing directly under it and an
irresistible desire came upon me to drop the melon on his
head, which I immediately did. I was the loser, for it spoiled
the melon, and John never forgave me and we dropped
all intercourse and. parted, hut now met again under these
circumstances.
We recognized each other simultaneously, and hands
were grasped as warmly as if no coldness had ever existed
between us, and no allusion was made to any. All animosities
were buried and the simple fact of meeting a familiar face in
that isolated spot so far from home, was sufficient to make us
forget all things but pleasant ones, and we parted again with
sincere " good-byes " and " God bless you " from both.
We had been climbing up the long shoulders of the Hocky
Mountains for many tedious hours — we started down them,
now. And we went spinning away at a round rate too.
We left the snowy Wind River Mountains and Uinta
Mountains behind, and sped away, always through splendid
scenery but occasionally through long ranks of white skele-
tons of mules and
oxen — monu-
ments of the huge
emigration of
other days — and
here and there
were up-ended
boards or small
piles of stones
which the driver
said ma.rked the
resting-place of
more precious
remains. It was the loneliest land for a grave ! A land given
over to the cayote and the raven — ^which is but another name
for desolation and utter solitude. On damp, murlty nights,
these scattered skeletons gave forth a soft, hideous glow, like
very faint- spots of moonlight starring the vague desert. It
orviiir ovBB to the catote a2jd the raven.
104
VEEY FOOLISH ADYICE.
wafi because of the pliosphorus in the bones. But no scientific
explanation could keep a body from shivering when he drifted
by one of those ghostly lights and knew that a skull held it.
At midnight it began to rain, and I never saw anything
like it — indeed, I did not even see this, for it was too dark.
We fastened down the curtains and even caulked them with
clothing, but the rain streamed in in twenty places, notwith-
iBtanding. There was no escape. If one moved his feet out
of a stream, he brought his body under one ; and if he moved
his body he caught one somewhere else. If he struggled out
of the drenched blankets and sat up, he was bound to get one
down the back of his neck. Meantime the stage was wander-
ing about a plain with gaping gullies in it, for the driver could
not see an inch before his face nor keep the road , and the
storm pelted so pitilessly that there was no keeping the horses
still. With the first abatement the conductor turned out with
lanterns to look for the road, and the fii-st dash he made was
into a chasm about fourteen feet deep, his lantern following
like a meteor. As soon as
he touched bottom he sang
out frantically :
" Don't come here ! "
To which the driver, who
was looking over the preci-
pice where he had disap-
peared, replied, with an in-
jured air: "Think I'm a
dam fool?"
The conductor was more
than an hour finding the road
"don't come here." — a matter which showed us
how far we had wandered and what chances we had been
taking. He traced our wheel-tracks to the imminent verge of
danger, in two places. I have always been glad that we were
not killed that night. I do not know any particular reason, but
I have always been glad.
In the morning, the tenth day out, we crossed Greea
■WE 60 WITH THE MAJOEITT.
105
Hiver, a fine, large, limpid stream — stuck in it, with the water
just up to the top of our mail-bed, and waited till extra teams
were put on to haul us up the steep bank. But it was nice
cool water, and besides it could not find any fresh place on us
to wet.
At the Green Eiver station we had breakfast — ^hot biscuits,
fresh antelope steaks, and coffee — the only decent meal we
tasted between the United States and Great Salt Lake City,
.and the only one we were
ever really thankful for.
Think of the monotonous
execrableness of the thirty
that went before it, to leave
this one simple breakfast
looming, up in my memory
like a shot-tower after all
these years have gone by !
' At five P.M. we reached
Fort Bridger, one hundred
and seventeen miles from
the South Pass, and one "think i'm a fool?" .
thousand and twenty-five miles from St. Joseph. Fifty-two
miles further on, near the head of Echo Canyon, we met sixty
United States soldiers from Camp Floyd. The day before, they
had fired upon three hundred or four hundred Indians, whom
they supposed gathered together for no good purpose. In
the fight that had ensued, four Indians were captured, and
the main body chased four miles, but nobody killed. This
looked like business. We had a notign to get out and join the
sixty sohjiers, but upon reflecting that there were four hundred
of the Indians, we concluded to go on and join the Indians.
Echo Canyon is twenty miles long. It was like a long,
smooth, naiTow street, with a gradual descending grade, and
shut in by enormous perpendicular walls of coarse conglom-
erate, four hundred feet high in many places, and turreted like
mediseval castles. This was the most faultless piece of road
in the mountains, and the driver said he would " let his team
106
WE VISIT AN ANGEL.
out." He did, and if the Pacific express trains whiz through
there now any faster than we did then in the stage-coach, I
envy the passengers the exhilaration of it. We fairly seemed
to pick up our wheels and fly — and the mail matter was lifted
up free from everything and held in solution ! I am not given
to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
However, time presses. At four in the afternoon we
arrived on the summit of
Big Mountain, fifteen miles
from Salt Lake City, when
all the world was glorified
with the setting sun, and
the mo^t stupendous pano-
rama of mountain peaks yet
encountered burst on our
sight. "We looked out upon
this sublime spectacle fi-om
under the arch of a brilliant
rainbow! Even the over-
land stage-driver stopped his
horses and gazed !
Half an hour or an hour
later, we changed horses, and
took supper with a Mormon
" Destroying Angel." " De-
stroying Angels," as I un-
derstand it, are Latter-Day Saints who are set apart by the
Church to conduct permanent disappearances of obnoxious
citizens. I had heard a deal about these Mormon Destroying
Angels and the dark and bloody deeds they had done, and
when I entered this one's house I had my shudder all ready.
But alas for all our romances, he was nothing but a loud,
profane, oflensive, old blackguard ! He was murderous enough,
possibly, to fill the bill of a Destroyer, but would you have cmy
kind of an Angel devoid of dignity ? Could you abide an Angel
in an unclean shirt and no suspenders ? Could you respect
an Angel with a horse-laugh and a swagger like a buccaneer?
THE "DESTKOYINO ANGEL."
CITY OF THE SAINTS. lOt
There were other blackguards present — comrades of this
one. And there was one person that looked like a gentleman
— Heber C. Kimball's son, tall and well made, and thirty years
old, perhaps. A lot of slatternly women flitted hither and
thither in a hurry, with coffee-pots, plates of bread, and other
appurtenances to supper, and these were said to be the wives
of the Angel — or some of them, at least. And of course they
were ; for if they had been hired " help " they would not have
let an angel from above storm and swear at them as he did,
let alone one from the place this one hailed from.
This was our first experience of the western " peculiar in-
stitution," and it was not very prepossessing. "We did not
tarry long to observe it, but hun-ied on to the home of the
Latter-Day Saints, the stronghold of the prophets, the capital
of the only absolute monarch in America — Great Salt Lake
City. As the night closed in we took sanctuaiy in the Salt
Lake House and unpacked our baggage.
CHAPTER XIII.
WE liad a fine supper, of tlie freshest meats and fowls
and vegetables — a great variety and as great abun-
dance. We walked about the streets some, afterward, and
glanced in at shops and stores ; and there was fascination in
surreptitiously staring at every creature we took to be a Mor-
mon. This was fairy-land to us, to all intents and purposes —
a land of enchantment, and goblins, and awful mystery. We
felt a curiosity to ask every child how many mothers it had,
and if it could tell them apart ; and we experienced a thriU
every time a dwelling-house door opened and shut as we
passed, disclosing a glimpse of human heads and backs and
shoulders — for we so longed to have a good satisfying look at
a Mormon family in all its comprehensive ampleness, disposed
in the customary concentric rings of its home circle, ■
By and by the Acting Governor of the Territory intro-
duced us to other " Gentiles," and we spent a sociable hour
with them. " Gentiles " are people who are not Mormon*
Our fellow-passenger, Bemis, took care of himself, during this
part of tlie evening, and did not make an ovei-powering suc-
cess of it, either, for he came into our room in the hotel about
eleven o'clock, fall of cheerfulness, and talking loosely, dis-
jointedly and indiscriminately, and every now and then tug-
ging out a ragged word by the roots that had more hiccups
than syllables in it. This, together with his hanging his coat
on the floor on one side of a chair, and his vest on the floor
on the other side, and piling his pants on the floor just ,in
BEMIS'S "WEAKNESS.
109
front of the same chair, and then coHtemplating the general
result with superstitious awe, and finally pronoxmcing it " too
many for him " and going to bed with his boots on, led us
to fear that something
he had eaten had
not
agreed with him.
But we knew after-
ward that it was some-
thing he had ' been
drinking. It was the
exclusively Mormon
refresher," valley tan."
Valley tan (or, at least,
one form of valley
tan) is a kind of whis-
ky, or first cousin to
it; is of. Mormon in-
vention and manufac-
tured only in Utah.
Tradition says it is
made of (imported)
fire and brimstone. If
I remember rightly no public drinking saloons were allowed
in the kingdom by Brigham Young, and no private drinking
permitted among the faithful, except they confined themselves
to " valley tan."
'Eexi day wo strolled about everywhere through the broad,
straight, level streets, and enjoyed the pleasant strangeness of
a city of fifteen thousand inhabitants with no loafers percepti-
ble in it ; and no visible drunkards or noisy people ; a limpid
stream rippling and dancing through every street in place of
a filthy gutter ; block after block of trim dwellings, built of
" frame " and sunburned brick — a great thriving orchard and
garden behind every one of them, apparently — branches from
the street stream winding and sparkling among the garden
beds and fruit trees — and a grand general air of neatness, re-
pair, thrift and comfort, around and about and over the whole.
EFFECTS OF " VAM.ET TAN."
110
BEAKS AGAINST BEES.
And everywhere were workshops, factories, and all manner of
/industries ; and intent faces and busy hands were to be seen
wherever one looked ; and in one's ears was the ceaseless clink
of hajnmers, the buzz of trade and the contented hum of
drums and fly-wheels.
The armorial crest of my own State consisted of two dis-
solute bears holding up the
head of a dead and gone
cask between them and mak-
ing the pertinent remark,
" IlNrrED, We Stand — ojc!)^
Divided, We Fall." It was
always too fig-urative for the
author of this book. But
the Mormon crest was easy.
And it was simple, unosten-
tatious, and fitted like a
glove. It was a representa-
tion of a Golden Beeuivk,
with the bees aU at work !
The city lies in the edge of a level plain as broad as the
State of Connecticut, and
crouches close down to the
ground under a ciir\ang wall
of mighty mountains whose
heads are hidden in the
clouds, and whose shoulders
bear relics of the snows of
winter all the summer long.
Seen from one of these dizzy
heiglits, twelve or fifteen
miles off. Great Salt Lake
City is toned down and di-
minished till it is suggestive
of a child's toy-village re-
posing under the majestic protection of the Chinese wall.
On some of those mountains, to the southwest, it had been
OSE CKEST.
THE OTHEB,
A HEALTHY CITT.
Ill
paining every day for two weeks, but not a drop had fallen in
the city. Ajid on hot days in late spring and early autumn,,
the citizens could 'quit fanning and growling and go out and
cool off by looking at the luxury of a glorious snow-storm go-
ing on in the mountains. They could enjoy it at a distance,
at those seasons, every day, though no snow would fall in their
streets, or anywhere near them.
Salt Lake City was healthy — an extremely healthy city.
They declared there was only one physician in the place and
^
he was arrested every week regularly and held to answer under
the vagrant act for having "no visible means of support."
[They always give you a good substantial article of truth in
112
VISIT TO BEIGHAM TOUNG.
Salt Lake, and good measure and good weight, too. Yery
often, if you wished to weigh one of their airiest little com-
monplace statements you would want the hay scales.]
"We desired to visit the famous inland sea, the American
" Dead Sea," the great Salt Lake — seventeen miles, horsehackj
from the city — for we had dreamed about it, and thought
about it, and talked about it, and yearned to see it, all the first
part of our trip ; but now when it was only arm's length away
it had suddenly lost nearly every bit of its interest. And so
we put it off, in a sort of general way, tiU next day — and that
was the last we ever thought of it. "We dined with some hos-
pitable Gentiles ; and visited the foundation of the prodigious
temple ; and talked long with th^t shrewd Connecticut Yankee,
Heber 0. Kimball (since deceased), a saint of high degree
and a mighty man of commerce.
"We saw the " Tithing-House," and
the "Lion House," and I do not
know or remember how many
more church and government
buildings of various kinds and
curious names. We flitted hither
and thither and enjoyed every
hour, and picked up a great deal
of useful information and enter-
taining nonsense, and went to
bed at night satisfied.
The second day, we made the acquaintance of Mr. Street
(since deceased) and put on white shirts and. went and paid a
state visit to the king. He seemed a quiet, kindly, easy-man-
nered, dignified, self-possessed old gentleman of fifty-five or
sixty, and had a gentle craft in his eye that probably belonged
there. He was very simply dressed and was just taking off a
straw hat as we entered. He talked about Utah, and the In-
dians, and Nevada, and general American matters and ques-
tions, with our secretary and certain government officials who
came with us. But he never paid any attention to me, not-
withstanding I made several attempts to "draw him out" on
YOUNG AMERICA PATRONIZED.
113
federal politics and his high handed attitude toward Congress.
I thought some of the things I said were rather fine. But he
merely looked around at me, at distant intervals, something as I
^1qii/\M Y0«''
have seen a benignant oH cat look around to see which kitten
was meddling with her tail. By and by I subsided into an
indignant silence, and so sat until the end, hot and flushed,
and execrating him in my heart for an ignorant savage. But
he was calm. His conversation with those gentlemen flowed
on as sweetly and peacefully and musically as any summer
brook. When the audience was ended and we were retiring
from the presence, he put his hand on my head, beamed down
on me in an admiring way and said to my brother :
" Ah — ^your child, I presume ? Boy, or girl ? "
8t
CHAPTEE XIV.
ME. STREET was very busy with his telegraphic matters
— and considering that he had eight or nine hundred
miles of mgged, snowy, uninhabited mountains, and waterless,
treeless, melancholy deserts to traverse with his wire, it was
natural and needful that he should be as busy as possible. He
could not go comfortably along and cut his poles by the road-
side, either, but they had to be hauled by ox teams across
those exhausting deserts — and it was two days' journey from
water to water, in one or two of them. Mr. Street's contract
,wae a vast work, every way one looked at it ; and yet to com-
prehend what the vague words " eight hundred mUes of rug-
ged mountains and dismal deserts " mean, one must go over
the ground in person — pen and ink descriptions cannot convey
the dreary reality to the reader. And after all, Mr. S.'s
mightiest difficulty turned out to be one which he had never
taken into the account at all. Unto Mormons he had sub-let
the hardest and heaviest half of his great undertaking, and all
of a sudden they concluded that they were going to make
little or nothing, and so they tranquilly threw their poles
overboard in mountain or desert, just as it happened when
they took the notion, and drove home and went about their
customary business! They were under written contract to
Mr. Street, but they did not care anything for that. They
said they would " admire " to see a " Gentile " force a Mormon
to fulfil a losing contract in Utah ! And they made them-
A CONTRACTOR IN TROUBLE. 11$
selves veiy merry over the matter. Street said — for it was Ixe
that told us these things :
" I was in dismay. I was under heavy bonds to complete
my contract in a given time, and this disaster looked very
much like ruin. It was an astounding thing ; it was such a
wholly unlooked-for difficulty, that I was entirely nonplussed.
I am a business man — have always been a business man — do
not know anything hut business — and so you can imagine how
like being struck by lightning it was to find myself in a coimtry
where written contracts were worthless .'— ;-that main security,
that sheet-anchor, that absolute necessity, of business. My
confidence left me. There was no use in making new con-
tracts—that was plain. I talked with first one prominent
citizen and then another. They all sympathized with me, first
rate, but they did not know how to help me. But at last a
Gentile said, ' Go to Brigham Young ! — these small fiy cannot
do you any good.' I did not think much of the idea, for if
the la/w could not help me, what could an individual do who
had not even anything to do with either making the laws or
executing them? He might be a very good patriarch of a
church and preacher in its tabernacle^ but something sterner
than religion and moral suasion was needed to nandle a hun-
dred refractory, hall-civilized sub-contractors. But what was
a man to do ? I thought if Mr. Young could not do anything
else, he might probably be able to give me some advice and a
valuable hint or two, and so I went straight to him and laid
the whole case before him. He said very little, but he showed
strong interest all the way through. He examined all the
papers in detail, and whenever there seemed anything like a
hitch, either in the papers or my statement, he would go back
and take up the thread and follow it patiently out to an intel-
ligent and satisfactory result. Then he made a list of the
contractors', names. Finally he said :
" ^ Mr. Street, this is all perfectly plain. These contracts
are strictly and legally drawn, and are duly signed and certi-
fied. These men manifestly entered into them with their eyes
open. I see no fault or flaw anywhere.'
" Then Mr. Young turned to a man waiting at the other
116
BRIGHAM YOUNG'S DECISION.
end of the room and said : ' Take this list .of names to So-and-
so, and tell him to have these men here at such-and-such an
hour.'
" They were there, to the minute. So was I. Mr. Young
THE CONTRACTOKS BEFORE THE KIMO.
asked them a number of questions, and their answers made
my statement good. Then he said to them :
" ' You signed these contracts and assumed these obligations
of your own free will and accord ? '
"'Yes.'
" ' Then carry them out to the letter, if it makes paupers of
yon ! Go ! '
" And they did go, too ! They are strung across the des-
erts now, working like bees. And I never hear a word out
of them. There is a batch of governors, and judges, and other
officials here, shipped from "Washington, and they maintain
the semblance of a republican form of government — but the
NEW VIEWS OF POLYGAMY.
117
petrified tratK is that Utali is an absolute monarchy and Brig-
ham Young is king ! "
Mr. Street was a fine man, and I believe his story. I
knew him well during several years afterward in San Fran-
cisco.
Our stay in Salt Lake City amounted to only two days,
and therefore we had no time to make the customary inquisi-
tion into the workings of polygamy and get up the usual
-W
I WAS TOUCHED.
statistics and deductions preparatory to calling the attention
of the nation at large once more to the matter. I had the
will to do it. With the ^shing self-sufficiency of youth I was
feverish to plunge in headlong and achieve a jgreat reform
here — ^imtil I saw the Mortnon women. Then I was touched.
My heart was wiser than my head. It warmed toward these
lis
UNACCOUNTABLE BENEVOLENCE.
poor, ungainly ?ind patlietically " homely " creatures, and as I
turned to hide the generous moisture in my eyes, I said,
" No — the man that marries one of them has done an act of
Christian charity which entitles him to the kindly applause
of mankind, not their harsh censure — and the man that mar-
ries sixty of them has done a deed of open-handed generosity
so sublime that the nations should stand uncovered in his
presence and worship in silence." *
* For a brief sketch of Mormon history, and the noted Mountain Meadow
massacre, see Appendices A and B.
OHAPTEE XY.
IT is a luscious country for thrilling evening stories about
assassinations of intractable Gentiles. I cannot easily
conceive of anything more cosy than the night in Salt Lake
which we spent in a Gentile den, smoking pipes and listening
to tales of how Burton galloped in among the pleading and
defenceless "Morisites" and shot them down, men and
women, like so many dogs. And how Bill Hickman, a De-
stroying Angel, shot Drown and Arnold dead for bringing suit
against him for a debt. And how Porter Eockwell did this
and that dreadful thing. And how heedless people often come
to Utah and make remarks about Brigham, or polygamy, or
some other sacred matter, and the very next morning at day-
light such parties are sure to be found lying up some back
alley, contentedly waiting for the hearse.
And the next most interesting thing is to sit and listen to
these Gentiles talk about polygamy; and how some portly
old frog of an elder,, or a bishop, marries a girl — likes. her,
marries her sister — ^likes her, marries another sister — likes her,
takes anotlier — ^likes her, marries her mother — ^likes her, mar-
ries her father, grandfather, great grandfather, and then comes
back hungry and asks for more. And how 'the pert young
thing of eleven will chance to be the favorite wife and her
own venerable grandmother have to rank away down toward
D 4 in their mutual husband's esteem, and have to sleep in
the kitchen, as like as not. And how this dreadful sort of
thing, this hiving together in one foul nest of mother and
120
BRIGHAM YOUNG'S HAREM.
daughters, and the making a young daughter superior to hei
own mother in rank and authority, are things which Mormon
women submit to because their religion teaches them that
FAVORITE WIFE AND D 4.
the more wives a man has on earth, and the more children he
rears, the higher the place they will all have in the world to
come — and the warmer, maybe, though they do not seem to
say anything about that.
According, to these Gentile friends of ours, Brighaih
Young's harem contains twenty or thirty wives. They said
that some of them had , grown old and gone out of active ser-
vice, but were comfortably housed and cared for in the henery
— or the Lion House, as it is strangely named. Along with
each wife were her children— fifty altogether. The house was
perfectly quiet and orderly, when the children were stiU.
Tliey all took their meals in one room, and a happy and hoice-
like sight it was pronounced to be. None of our party got an
SEARCH AMONG THE CHILDREN.
121
opportunity to take dinner with Mr. Young; but a Gentile by
the name of Johnson professed to have enjoyed a sociable
breakfast in the Lion House. He gave a preposterous account
of the " calling of the roll," and other preliminaries, and the
carnage that ensued when the buckwheat cakes came in. But
he embellished rathef too much. He said that Mr. Young
told him several smart sayings- of certain of his " two-year-
olds," observing with some pride that for many years he had
been the heaviest contributor in that line to one of the East-
ern magazines ; and then he wanted to show Mr. Johnson one
of the pets that had said the last good thing, but he could not
NEEDED MARKING.
find the child. He searched the faces of the children in de-
tail, but could not decide which one it was. Finally he gave
it up with a sigh and said :
" I thought I would know the little cub again but I
don't." Mr. Johnson said further, that Mr. Young observed
122 COST OF GIFT TO No. 6.
that life was a sad, sad thing — " because the joy of every new
marriage a man contracted was so apt to be blighted by the in-
opportune funeral of a less recent bride." And Mr. Johnson
said that while he ^nd Mr. Young were pleasantly conversing
in private, one of the Mrs. Youngs came in and demanded a
breast-pin, remarking that she had found out that he had been
giving a breast-pin to No. 6, and she, for one, did not propose
to let this partiality go on without making a satisfactory
amount of trouble about it. Mr. Young reminded her that
there was a stranger present. Mrs. Young said that if the
state of things inside the house was not agreeable to the
stranger, he could find room outside. Mr. Young promised the
breast-pin, and she went away. But in a minute or two
another Mrs. Young came ih and demanded a breast-pin. Mr.
Young began a remonstrance,, but Mrs. Young cut him short.
She said No. 6 had got one, and No. 11 was promised one,
and it was " no use for him to try to impose on her — she hoped
she knew her rights." He gave his promise, and she went.
And presently three Mrs. Youngs entered in a body and opened
on their husband a tempest of tears, abuse, and entreaty.
They had heard all about No. 6, No. 11, and No. 14. Three
naore breast-pins were promised. They were hardly gone
when nine more Mrs. Youngs filed into the presence, and a
new tempest burst forth and raged round about the prophet
and his guest. Nine breast-pins were promised, and the
weird sisters filed out again. And in came eleven more,
weeping and wailing and gnashing their teeth. Eleven prom-
ised breast-pins purchased peace once more.
" That is a specimen," said Mr. Young. " You see how it
is. You see what a life I lead. A man can't be wise all the
time. In a heedless moment I gave my darling No. 6 — excuse
my calling her thus, as her other name has escaped me for the
irroment — a breast-pin. It was only worth twenty-five dollars
— that is, aipparenUy that was its whole cost — but its ultimate
cost was inevitably bound to be a good deal more. You your-
self have seen it climb up to six hundred and fifty dollars —
and alas, even that is not the end ! For I have wives aU over
EFFECT OF A PE NNY- WHISTLE GIFT. 123
this Territory of Utah. I have dozens of wives whose num-
bers, even, I do not know without looking in the family Bible.
They are scattered far and wide among the mountains and
valleys of my realm. And mark you, every solitary one of
them will hear of this wretched breast pin, and every last one
of them will have one or die. No. 6's breast pin will cost
me twenty-five hundred dollars before -I see the end of it
And these creatures will compare these pins together, and if
one is a shade finer than the rest, they will all be thrown on
my hands, and I will have to order a new lot to keep peace in
the family. Sir, you probably did not know it, but all the
time you were present with my children your every movement
was watched by vigilant servitors of mine. If you had
offered to give a child a dime, or a stick of candy, or any trifle
of the kind, you would have been snatched out of the house
instantly, provided it could be done before your gift left your
hand. Otherwise it would be absolutely necessary for you to
make an exactly similar gift to all my children — and knowing
by experience the inlportance of the thing, I would have stood
by and seen to it myself that you did it, and did it thoroughly.
Once a gentleman gave one of my children a tin whistle — a
veritable invention of Satan, sir, and one which I have an un-
speakable horror of, and so would you if you had eighty or
ninety children in your house. But the deed was done — the
man escaped. I knew what the result was going to be, and I
thirsted for vengeance. I ordered out a flock of Destroying
Angels, and they hunted the man far into the fastnesses of the
Nevada mountains. But they never caught him. I am not
cruel, sir — I am not vindictive except when sorely outraged —
but if I had caught him, sir, so help me Joseph Smith, I
would have locked him into the nursery till the brats whistled
him to death. By the slaughtered body of St. Parley Pratt
(whom God assoil !) there was never anything on this earth
like it I /knew who gave the whistle to the child, but I could
not make those jealous mothers believe me. They believed /
did it, and the result was just what any man of reflection
could have foreseen : I had to order a hundred and tea
124
FATHERING THE FOUNDLINGS.
whistles — I think we had a hundred and ten children in the
house then, but some of them are oif at College now — I had
to order a hundred and ten of those shrieking things, and I
wish I may never speak another word if we didn't have to
talk on our fingers entirely, from that time forth until the
children got tired of the whistles. And if ever another man
gives a whistle to a child of mine and I get my hands on him,
I will hang him higher than Haman ! That is the word with
the bark on it! Shade of Nephi! You don't know any-
thing about married life. I am rich, and everybody knows it.
I am benevolent, and everybody takes advantage of it. I have
a strong fatherly instinct and all the foundlings are foisted on
me. Every time a woman wants to do well by her darling,
she puzzles her brain to cipher out some scheme-for getting
" A RGMASKABLE KESEMBLANCE."
it into my hands. Why, sir, a woman came here once with a
child of a curious lifeless sort of complexion (and so had the
woman), and swore that the child was mine and she my wife —
LARGE FAMILIES EXPENSIVE LUXURIES. 125
that I had married lier at such-and-sucli a time in such-and-
such a place, but she had forgotten her number, and of course
I could not remember her, name,. ^ "Well, sir, she called mjr
attention to the fact that the child looked like me, and really
it did seem to resemble me— ^a^^^ommon thing in the Terri-
tory— and, to cut the story short, I put it in my nursery, and
she left. And by the ghost of Orson Hyde, when they Came
to wash the paint off that child it was an Injun ! Elees my
soul, you don't know anything about married life. It is a
perfect dog's life, sir^ — a perfect dog's life. You can't econo-
rpize. It isn't possible. I have tried keeping one set of bridal
attire for all occasions. But it is of no use. First you'll marry
a combination of calico and consumption that's as thin as a
rail, and next you'll get a creature that's nothiTj^ more than
the dropsy in disguise, and then you've got to eke out that
bridal dress with an old balloon. That is the way it goes.
And think of the wash-bill — (excuse these tears) — nine hun-
dred and eighty-four pieces a week ! No, sir, there is no such
a thing as econoniy in a family hke mine. Why, just the one
item of cradles — think of it ! _ And vermifuge ! Soothing
syrup! Teething rings! And 'papa's watches' for the
babies to play with ! And things to scratch*' the furni-
ture with ! And lucifer matches for them to eat, and
pieces of glass to cut themselves with ! The item of glass
alone would support your family, I venture to say, sir. Let
me scrimp and squeeze all I can, I still can't get ahead as fast
as I feel I ought to, with my opportunities. Bless you, sir, at
a time when I had seventy-two wives in this house, I groaned
under the pressure of keeping thousands^of dollars tied up in
seventy-two bedsteads when the money ought to havfe been
out at interest ; and I just sold out the whole stock, sir, at a
sacrifice, and built a bedstead seven feet long and ninety-six
feet wide. But it was a failure, sir. I could nat sleep. It,
appeared to me that the whole seventy-two women shored at
once. The roar was deafening. And then the danger of it !
That was what I was looking at. They would all draw in
their breath at once, and you could actually see the walls of
126
AN ATTEMPT AT ECONOMY./
the house suck in — and then
they would all exhale their
breath at once, and you
could see the walls swell
out, and strain, and hear
the rafters crack, and the
shingles grind together.
My friend^ take an old
man's advice, and dof^
encumber yourself with
a large family — mind, I
tell you, don't do it. In
a small family, and in a
small family only, yon
will find that comfort
and that peace of mind
which are the best at last
of the blessings this '
world is able to afford
us, and for the lack of
which no accumulation
of wealth, and no acqui-
sition of fame, power, and
greatness can ever com-
pensate us. Take my
word for it, ten or eleven
wives is all you need —
never go over it."
Some instinct or other
made me set this John-
son doAPn as being unre-
liably. And yet he was
a very entertaining per-
son, and I doubt if some
of the information he
gave us could have been
acquired fi'om any other
source. He was a pleas-
ant contrast to those reticent Mormons.
CHAPTEE XYI.
A LL men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except
.£\. the " elect" have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble
to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book
is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious alfair, and yet so
" slow," so sleepy ; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It
is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book,
the act was a miracle — ^keeping awake while he did it was, at
any rate. If he, according to tradition, merely translated it
from certain ancient and mysteriously-engraved plates of cop-
per, which he declares he found under a stone, in an out-of-
the-way locality, the work of translating was equally a mira-
cle, for the same reason.
. The book seems to be merely a prosy detail of imaginary
history, with the Old Testament for a model; followed by
a tedious plagiarism of the New Testament. The author
labored to give his words and phrases the quaint, old-fashioned
sound and structure of our King James's translsition of the
Scriptures ; and the result ie a mongrel — half modern glib-
ness, and half ancient simplicity and gravity,.*, The latter is
awkward and constrained ; the former natural, but grotesque
by the contrast. Whenever he found his speech growing too
modern — which was about every sentence or two^he ladled in
a few such Scriptural phrases as " exceeding sore," " and it. came
to pass," etc., and made things satisfactory again. " And it
128 THE BOOK OF MORMON.
came to pass " was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible
would have been only a pamphlet.
The title-page reads as follows :
The Book of Mormon: an account wbitten by the Hand of Moe-
MON, UPON Plates taken from the Plates of Nephi.
Wherefore it is an abridgment of the record of the people of Nephi,
and also of the Lamanites ; written to the Lamanites, who are a remnant of
the House of Israel ; and also to Jew and Gentile ; written by way of com-
mandment, and also by the spirit of prophecy and of revelation. Written
and sealed up, and hid up unto the Lord, that they might not be destroyed ;
to come forth by the gift and power of God unto the interpretation thereof ;
sealed by the hand of Moroni, and hid up unto the Lord, to come forth in
due time by the way of Gentile ; the interpretation thereof by the gift of
God. An abridgment taken from the Book of Ether also ; which is a
record of the people of Jared ; who were scattered at the time the Lord
confounded the language of the people when they were building a tower to
get to Heaven.
" Hid up " is good. And so is " wherefore" — ^though why
" wherefore " ? Any other word M'ould have answered as well
— though in truth it would not have sounded so Scriptural.
Next comes
THE TESTmONT OF THREE WITNESSES.
Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people uWo whom
this work shall come, that we, through the grace of God the Father, and
our Lord Jesus Christ, have seen the plates which contain this record, which
is a record of the people of Nephi, and also of the Lamanites, their breth-
ren, and also of the people of Jared, who came from the tower of which
hath been spoken ; and we also know that they have been translated by the
gift and pow^r of God, for His voice hath declared it unto us ; wherefore
we know of a surety that the work is true. And we also testify that we
have seen the engravings which are upon the plates ; and they have been
shown unto us te the power of God, and not of man. And we declare with
words of Bober^s, that an angel of God came down from heaven, and he
brought and laid before our eyes, that we beheld and saw the plates, and
the engravings thereon ; and we know that it is by the grace of God the
Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, that we beheld and bear lecord that
these things are true ; and it is marvellous in our eyes ; nevertheless the
voice of the Lord commanded us that we should bear .record of it ; where-
fore, to be obedient unto the commandments of God, we bear'testimony of
INDISPUTABLE EVIDENCE. 129
tlieae tiings. And we know that if we are faithful in Christ, we shall rid
our garments of the blood of all men, and be found spotless before the
judgment-seat of Christ, and shall dwell with Him eternally in the heavens.
And the honor be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost,
which is one God. Amen.
Olivbr Cowdert,
David Whitmbr,
Mabtin Hakbis.
Some people have to have a world of evidence before they
can come anfwhere in the neighborhood of believing any-
thing ; but for me, .when a man tells me that he has " seen the
engravings which are upon the plates," and not only that, but
an angel was there at the time, and saw him see them, and
probably |pok his receipt for it, I am very far on the road to
conviction, no matter whether I ever heard of that m^nj^efore
or not, and even if I do not know the name of the j angel, or
his nationality either. ^ '
Next isithis : t
andIalso the testimont of eight witnesses.
Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people unto whom
this work shall come, that Joseph Smith, Jr., the translator of this work,
has shown jiiito us the plates of which hath been spoken, which have the
appearaince of gold ; and as many of the leaves asthe said Smith has trans-
lated,'we did handle with our hands; and we also saw; the engravings
thereon, all Of which has the appearance of ancient work, and of curious
workmajSshipi And this we bear record with words of sobei^^, that the said
Smith' has |lipwn unto us, for we have seen and heftemand know of a
surety^ that the said Smith has got the plates of which' we ^ve spoken.
And wesffive our names unto the world, to witness unto thsVofld that which
we have seen And we lie not, God bearing witness of it^ , ,
^^BRISTIAN Whitmer, HmAMJpA;.
^Jacob Whitmer, JosEPmpj^H, Sr.,
_PBter WnrrMBB, Jr., ' HyeumF^Sm,
Whixmer, SamubS'B. Smith.
Andswhen %am far on the road to conviction, and eight
men, be' they gfainmatical or otherwise, come forward and tell
me that 1 they Mve seen the plates too; and not only seen
9-
130 EARLY MORMONS ON A SPREE.
those plates but " hefted " them, I am convinced. I could not
feel more satisfied and at rest if the entire Whitmer family
had testified.
The Mormon Bible consists of fifteen "books" — ^being the
books of Jacob, Enos, Jarom, Omni, Mosiah, Zeniff, Alma,
Helaman, Ether, Moroni, two " books " of Mormon, and three
of Nephi.
In the first book of Nephi is a plagiarism of the Old Tes-
tament, which gives an account of the exodus fi:;x)m Jerusalem
of the " children of Lehi " ; and it goes on to tell of their
wanderings in the wilderness, during eight years, and their
supernatural protection by one of their number, a party by the
name of Nephi. They finally reached the land of " Bounti-
ful," and camped by the sea. After they had remained there
" for the space of many days " — which is more Scriptural than
definite — Nephi was commanded from on high to build a ship
wherein to " cany the people across the waters." He traves-
tied IToah's ark — but he obeyed orders in the mjitter of the
plan. He finished the ship in a single day, while^his breth-
ren stood by and made fun of it — and of him, to& — "saying,
our brother is a fool, for he thinketh that he can build a ship."
They did not wa,it for the timbers to dry, but the whole tribe
or nation sailed the next day. Then a bit of genuine nature
cropped out, and is revealed by outspoken Nephi with Script-
ural frankness — they all got on a spree! They,*" and also
their wives, began to make themselves merry, insomuch that
they began to dance, and to sing, and to speak with much
rudeness ; yea, ithey were lifted up unto exceeding rudeness."
ISTephi fried to stop these scandalous proceedings; but they
tied him n^^'^and heels, and went on with th^ lark. But
observe how'Nephi the prophet circumvented them by the aid
of the invisible powers : *
And it came to pass that after they had bound me, insomnch that I conld
not move, the compass, which had been prepared of the Lord, did cease to
work ; -wherefore, they knew not whither they shonl^ steer thrf ship, inso-
much that there arose a great storm, yea, a great and terrfble^mpest, and
A MIRACLE WROUGHT.
131
we were driven back upon the waters for the space of three days ; and they
began to be frightened exceedingly, lest they should be drowned in the sea ;
nevertheless they did not loose me. And on the fourth day, which we had
been driven back, the tempest began to be exceeding sore.
And it came to pass that we were about to be swallowed up in the
depths of the sea.
Then they untied him.
And it came to pass after they had loosed me, behold, I took the compass,
and it did work whither I desired it. And it came to pass that I prayed
unto the Lord ; and after I had prayed, the winds did cease, and the storm
did cease, and there was a great calm.
THE MIBACnLOCS COMPASS.
Equipped with their compass, these ancients appear to have
had the advantage of Noah.
132 INTRODUCTION OF POLYGAMY.
Their voyage was toward a "promised land" — ^the only
name they give it. They reached it in safety.
Polygamy is a recent feature in the Mormon religion, and
was added by Brigham Young after Joseph Smith's death.
Before that, it was regarded as an " abomination." This verse ,
from the Mormon Bible occurs in Chapter II. of the book of
Jacob :
For behold, thus Baith the Lord, this people begin to wax in iniquity ;
tliey understand not the Scriptures ; for they seek to excuse themselves in
committing whoredoms, because of the things which were written concern,
ing David, and Solomon his son. Behold, David and Solomon truly had
many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, salth
the Lord ; wherefore, thus saith the Lord, I have led this people forth out
of the land of Jerusalem, by the power of mine arm, that I might raise up
unto me a righteous branch from the fruit of the loins of Joseph. Where-
fore, I the Lord God, will not suffer that this people shall do like unto them
of old.
However, the project failed — or at least the modem Mor-
mon end of it — ^for Brigham " suffers " it. This verse is from
the same chapter :
Behold, the Lamanites your brethren, whom ye hate, because of their
filthiness and the cursings which hath come upon their skins, are more
righteous than you ; for they have not forgotten the commandment of the
Lord, wliich was given unto our fathers, that they should have, save it were
one wife ; and concubines they should have none.
The following verse (from Chapter IX. of the Book of
Nephi) appears to contain information not familiar to every-
body:
And now it came to pass that when Jesus had ascended into heaven, the
multitude did disperse, and every man did take his wife and his children,
and did return to his own home.
And it came to pass that on the morrow, when the multitude was gath-
ered together, behold, Nephi and his brother whom he had raised from the
dead, whose name was Timothy, and also his son, whose name was J«(ias,
and also Mathoni, and Mathonihah, his brother, and Kumen, and Kumen-
onhi, and Jeremiah, and Shemnon, and Jonas, and JSedekiah, and Isaiah ;
now these were the names of the disciples whom Jesus had chosen.
NOT ELSEWHERE KECOKDED. 133
la order that the reader may observe how much more
grandeur and picturesqueness (as seen by these Mormon twelve)
accompanied one of the tenderest episodes in the Hfe of our
Saviour than other eyes seem to have been aware of, I quote
the following from the same " book " — Nephi :
And it came to pass that Jesus spake unto them, and bade them arise.
And they arose from the earth, and He said unto them. Blessed are ye be-
cause of your faith. And now behold. My joy is full. And when He had
said these words. He wept, and the multitude bear record of it, and He took
their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the
Father for them. And when He had done this He wept again, and He spake
onto the multitude, and saith unto them, Behold your little ones. And as
they looked to behold, they cast their eyes toward heaven, and they saw
tlie heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were,
in the midst of fii'e ; and they came down and encircled those little ones
about, and they were encircled about with fire ; and the angels did minister
unto them, and the multitude did see and hear and bear record ; and they
know that their record is true, for they all of them did see and hear, every
man for himself; and they were in number about two thousand and five
hundred souls ; and they did consist of men, women, and children.
And what else would they be likely to consist of?
The Book of Ether is an incomprehensible medley of "his-
toiy," much of it relating to battles and sieges among peoples
whom the reader has possibly never heard of; and who inhabited
a country which is not set down in the geography. There was
a, King with the remarkable name of Coriantumr, and he
warred with Shared^ and Lib, and Shiz, and others, in the
"plains of Heshlon"; and the " valley of Gilgal"; and the
" wilderness of Akish " ; and the " land of Moran " ; and the
" plains of Agosh " ; and " Ogath," and " Eamah," and the
" land of Corihor," and the " hill Comnor," by " the waters
of Ripliancum," etc., etc., etc. " And it came to pass," after
a deal of fighting, that Coriantumr, upon making calculation
of his losses, found that " there had been slain two millions of
mighty men, and also their wives and their children " — say
5,000,000 or 6,000,000 in all— "and he began to son-ow in his
heart." Unquestionably it was time. So he wrote to Shiz,
asking a cessation of hostilities, and offering to give up his
134 AK ANCIENT BATTLE.
kingdom to save his people. Sliiz declined, except upon con-
dition that Coriantumr -would come and let him cut his head
off first — a thing which Coriantumr would not do. Then
there was more fighting for a season ; ^enfour years were de-
voted to gathering the forces for a final struggle — after which
ensued a battle, which, I take it, is the most remarkable set
forth in history, — except, perhaps, that of the Kilkenny cats,
which it resembles in some respects. This is the account of
the gathering and the battle :
7. And it came to pass that they did gather together all the people, npon
all the face of the land, who had not been slain, save it was Ether. And it
came to pass that Ether did behold all the doings of the people ; and he be-
held that the people who were 'for Coriantumr, were gathered together to
the army of Coriantumr ; and the people who were for Shiz, were gathered
together to the army of Shiz ; wherefore they were for the space of four
years gathering together the people, that they might get all who were upon
the face of the land, and that they might receive all the strength which it
was possible that they could receive. And it came to pass that when they
were all gathered together, every one to the army which he would, with
their wives and their children ; both men, women, and children being armed
with weapons of war, having shields, and breast-plates, and head-plates, and
being clothed after the manner of war, they did march forth one against
another, to battle ; and they fought all that day, and conquered not. And it
came to pass that when it was night they were weary, and retired to their
camps ; and after they had retired to their camps, they took up a howling
and a lamentation for the loss of the slain of their people ; and bo great
were their cries, their liowlings and lamentations, that it did rend the air
exceedingly. And it came to pass that on the morrow they did go again to
battle, and great and terrible was that day ; nevertheless they conquered not,
and when the night came again, they did rend the air with their cries, and
their bowlings, and their mournings, for the loss of the slain of their
people.
8. And it came to pass that Coriantumr wrote again an epistle unto Shiz,
desiring that he would not come again to battle, but that he would take the
kingdom, and spare the lives of the people. But behold, the Spirit of the
Lord had ceased striving with them, and Satan had full power over the
hearts of the people, for they were given up unto the hardness of their
hearts, and the blindness of their minds that thoy might be destroyed;
wherefore they went again to battle. And it came to pass that they fought
all that day, and when the night came they slept upon their swords ; and on
the morrow they fought even until the night came ; and when the night
came they were drunken with anger, even as a man who is drunken with
ORIGINAL KILKENNY CATS. 136
wine ; and they slept again upon their swords ; and on the morrow tliey
fought again ; and when the night came they had all fallen by the sword
save it were fifty and two of the people of Coriantumr, and sixty and nine
of the people of Shiz. And it came tojpass that they slept upon their
swords that night, and on the morrow they fought again, and they contended
in their mights with their swords, and with their shields, all that day ; and
when the night came there were thirty and two of the people of Shiz, and
twenty and seven of the people of Coriantumr.
9. And it came to pass that they ate and slept, and prepared for death on
the morrow. And they were large and mighty men, as to the strength of
men. And it came to pass that they fought for the space of three hours,
and they fainted with the loss of blood. And it came to pass that when
the men of Coriantumr had received sufficient strength, that they could
walk, they were about to flee for their lives, but behold, Shiz arose,
and also his men, and he swore in his wrath that he would slay Coriantumr,
or he would -perish by the sword : wherefore he did pursue them, and on
the morrow he did overtake them ; and they fought again with the sword.
And it came to pass that when they had all fallen by the sword, save it
were Coriantumr and Shiz, behold Shiz had fainted with loss of blood.
And it came to pass that when Coriantumr had leaned vipon his sword, that
he rested a little, he smote off the head of Shiz. And it came to pass that
after he had smote off the head of Shiz, that Shiz raised upon his hands
and fell ; and after that he had struggled for breath, he died. And it came
to pass that Coriantumr fell to the earth, and became as if he had no
life. And the Lord spake unto Ether, and said unto him, go forth. And he
went forth, and beheld that the words of the Lord had all been fulfilled ;
and he finished his record ; and the hundredth part I have not written.
It seems a pity he did not finisli, for after all his dreary
former chapters of commonplace, he stopped just as he was in
danger of becoming interesting.
The Mormon Bible is rather stupid and tiresome to read,
but there is nothing vicious in its teachings. Its code of
morals is Ainobjectionable — it is " smouched " * from the Kew
T*5Pt»ment and no credit given.
•Milton.
OHAPTEE XYII.
AT the end of our two days' sojourn, we left Great Salt
Lake City hearty and well fed and liappy — ^physically
superb but not so very much wiser, as regards the " Mormon
question," than we were when we arrived, perhaps. We had
a deal more " information" than we had before, of course, but
we did not know what portion of it was reliable and what was
not — for it all came from acquaintances of a day — strangers,
strictly spealdng. We were told, for instance, that the dreadful
" Mountain Meadows Massacre " was the work of the Indians
entirely, and that the Gentiles had meanly tried to fasten it
upon the Mormons; we were told, likewise, that the Indians
were to blame, partly, and partly the Mormons ; and we were
told, likewise, and just as positively, that the Mormons were
almost if not wholly and completely responsible for that most
treacherous and pitiless butchery. We got the story in all
these different shapes, but it was not till several years after-
ward that Mrs. Waite's book, " The Mormon Prophet," came
out with Judge Cradlebaugh's trial of the accused parties in
it and revealed the truth that the latter version was the cor-
rect one and that the Mormons were the assassins. All our
" information " had three sides to it, and so I gave up the idea
that I could settle the " Mormon question " in two days. StiU
I have seen newspaper correspondents do it in one.
I left Great Salt Lake a good deal confused as to what
state of things existed there — and sometimes even questioning
in my own mind whether a state of things existed there at all
IN A PIONEER LAND.
137
or not. But presently I remembered witli a lightening sense
of relief that we had learned two or three trivial things there
which we could be certain of; and so the two days were not
wholly lost. For instance, we had learned that we were at last
in a pioneer land, in absolute and tangible reality. The high
THItKE SIDES TO A QUESTION.
prices charged for trifles were eloquent of high freights and
bewildering distances of freightage. In the east, in those days,
the smallest moneyed denomination was a penny and it repre-
sented the smallest purchasable quantity of any commodity.
West of Cincinnati the smallest coin in use was the silver five-
cent piece and no smaller quantity of an article could be
bought than " five cents' worth." In Overland City the low
est coin appeared to be the ten-cent piece ; but in Salt Lake
there did not seem to be any money in circulation smaller
than a quarter, or any smaller quantity purchasable of any
commodity than twenty-five cents' worth. "We had always
been used to half dimes and " five cents' worth " as the mini-
mum of financial negotiations ; but in Salt Lake if one wanted
a cigar, it was a quarter ; if he wanted a chalk pipe, it was a
138 THE INSULTED BOOT-BLACK.
quarter; if he wanted a peach, or a candle, or a newspaper,
or a shave, or a little Gentile whiskey to rub on his corns to
arrest indigestion and keep him from having the toothache,
twenty-five cents was the price, every time. When we looked
at the shot-bag of silver, now and then, we seemed to be
N. York. St. Louis. Overland City. Salt Lake City.
ICont. 5 Cents. lOCtmts. 25 Cents.
KESUI.T or niGH FKEIGHTS.
wasting our substance in riotous living, but if we refeiTed to
the expense account we could see that we had not been doing
anything of the kind. But people easily get reconciled to
big money and big prices, and fond and vain of both — it is a
descent to little coins and cheap prices that is hardest to bear
and slowest to take hold upon one's toleration. After a
month's acquaintance with the twenty-five cent minimum, the
average human being is ready to blush every time he thinks of
his despicable five-cent days. How sunburnt with blushes I
used to get in gaudy Nevada, every time I thought of my first
financial expei-ience in Salt Lake. It M^as on this wise (which
is a favorite expression of great authors, and a very neat one,
too, but I never hear anybody say on this wise when they are
talking). A young half-breed with a complexion like a yellow-
jacket asked me if I would have my boots blacked. It was
at the Salt Lake House the morning after we arrived. I said
yes, and he blacked them. Then I handed him a silver five-
cent piece, with the benevolent air of a person who is confer-
ring wealth and blessedness upon poverty and suffering. The
yellow-jacket took it with what I judged to be suppressed
emotion, and laid it reverently down in the middle of his
broad hand. Then he began to contemplate it, much as a
philosopher contemplates a gnat's ear in the ample field of
WHITE-SHIBTED EMIGRANTS.
139
his microscope. Several mountaineers, teamsters, stage-drivers,
etc., drew near and dropped into the tableau and fell to
surveying the money with that attractive indifference to for-
mality "which is noticeable in the hardy pioneeri Presently the
yeUow-japket handed the half dime back to me and told me I
OTight to keep my money in my pocket-book instead of in
my soul, and then
I wouldn't get it
cramped and shriv-
eled up so !
What a roar of
vulgar laughter
there was! I de-
■ stroyed the mongrel
reptile on the spot,
but I smiled and
smiled all the time
I was detaching his
scalp, for the re-
mark he made was
good for an " In-
jun."
Yes, we had
learned in Salt Lake
to be charged great
prices without letting the inward shudder appear on the sur-
face— for even already we had overheard and noted the tenor
of conversations among drivers, conductors, and hostlers, and
finally among citizens of Salt Lake, until we were well aware
that these* superior beings despised "emigrants." We per-
mitted no tell-tale shudders and winces in our countenances,
for we wanted to seem pioneers, or Mormons, half-breeds,
teamsters, stage-drivers. Mountain Meadow assassins — anything
in the world that the plains and Utah respected and admired —
but we were wretchedly ashamed of being " emigrants," and
Borry enough that we had white shirts and could not swear in
the presence of ladies without looking the other way.
And many a time in Nevada, afterwards, we had occasion
A SHKITELED QUABTEB.
140
PITIABLE IGNORANCE.
to remember with humiliation that we were " emigrants," and
consequently a low and inferior sort of creatures. Perhaps
the reader has visited Utah, Nevada, or California, even in
these latter days, and while communing with himself upon the
sorrowful banishment of those countries from what he con-
siders " the world," has had his wings clipped by finding that
he is the one to be pitied, and that there are entire popular
tions around him ready and willing to do it for him — ^yea, who
are complacently doing it
for him already, v/herever
he steps his foot.- Poor
thing, they are making fun
of his hat ; and the cut of
his Ifew Tork coat; and
his conscientiousness about
his grammar; and his feeble
profanity ; and his consum-
ingly ludicrous ignorance of
ores, shafts, tunnels, and
other things which he never
saw before, and never felt
enough interest in to read
about. And all the time
that he is thinking what a sad fate it is to be exiled to that
far country, that lonely land, the citizens around him are look-
ing down on him with a blighting compassion because he is
an " emigrant " instead of that proudest and blessedest crea-
ture that exists on all the earth, a " Foety-Ninee."
The accustomed coach life began again, now, and by mid-
night it almost seemed as if we never had been out of our
snuggery among the mail sacks at all. We had made one alter-
ation, however. We had provided enough bread, boiled ham
and hard boiled eggs to last double the six hundred miles of
staging we had still to do.
And it was comfort in those succeeding days to sit up
and contemplate the majestic panorama of mountains and
valleys spj-ead out below us and eat ham and hard boiled
AN OBJECT OP PITT.
■WHAT CONSTITUTES HAPPINE8S. 141
eggs while our spiritual natures revelled alternately in rain-
bows, thunderstorms, and peerless sunsets. Nothing helps
scenery like ham and eggs. Ham and eggs, and after these a
pipe— an old, rank, dehcious pipe — ham and eggs and scenery,
a " down grade," a flying coach, a fragrant pipe and a con-
tented heart — these make happiness. It is what all the ages
have struggled for.
'^^a^^'^-S-^^'^"^ '-^^
^■^m.^^h^^^-
V
-•i-^ ' . A -A
OHAPTEE XYIII.
AT eight ill the morning we reached the remnant and ruin
of wiiat had been the important military station of
" Camp Floyd," some forty-five or fifty miles from Salt Lake
City. At four p.m. we had doubled our distance and were
ninety or a hundred miles from Salt Lake. And now we
entered upon one' of that species of deserts whose concentrated
hideousness shames the difiiised and diluted horrors of Sahara
— an ^^ alkali" desert. For sixty-eight miles there was but
one break in it. I do not remember that this was really a
break ; indeed it seems to me that it was nothing but a water-
ing depot in the midst of the stretch of sixty-eight miles. If
my memory serves me, there was no well or spring at this
place, but the water was hauled there by mule and ox teams
from the further side of the desert. There was a stage station
there. It was forty-five miles from the beginning of the
desert, and twenty-three from the end of it.
"We plowed and dragged and groped along, the whole live-
long night, and at the end of this uncomfortable twelve hours
we finished the forty-five-mile part of the desert and got to
the stage station where the imported water was. The sun
was just rising. It was easy enough to cross a desert in the
night while we were asleep ; and it was pleasant to reflect, in
the morning, that we in actual person had encountered an
absolute desert and could always speak knowingly of deserts
in. presence of the ignorant thenceforward. And it was pleafr-
A REAL DESERT BY DAYLIGHT. 143
ant also to reflect that this was not an obscure, back country
desert, but a very celebrated one, the metropolis itself, as you
may say. All this was, very well and very comfortable and
satisfactory — but now we were to cross a desert in daylight.
This was fine — novel — romantic — dramatically adventurous —
this, indeed, was worth living for, worth traveling for ! "We
would write home all about it.
This enthusiasm, this stern thirst for adventure, wilted
under the sultry August sun and did not last above one hour.
One poor little hour — and then we were ashamed that we
had " gushed " so. The poetry was all in the anticipation —
there is none in the reality. Imagine a vast, waveless ocean
stricken dead and turned to ashes ; imagine this solemn waste
tufted with ash-dusted sage-bushes ; imagine the lifeless silence
aiid solitude that belong to such a place; imagine a coach,
creeping like a bug through the midst of this shoreless level,
and sending up tumbled volumes of dust as if it were a bug
that went by steam ; imagine this aching monotony of toiling
and plowing kept up hour after hour, and the shore still as far
away as ever, apparently ; imagine team, driver, coach and
passengers so deeply coated with ashes that they are all one
colorless color; imagine ash-drifts roosting above moustaches
and eyebrows like snow accumulations on boughs and bushes.
This is the reality of it.
The sun beats down with dead, blistering, relentless
malignity ; the perspiration is welling from every pore in man
and beast, but scarcely a sign of it finds its way to the surface
— it is absorbed before it gets there ; there is not the faintest
breath of air stin-ing ; there is not a merciful shred of cloud
in all the brilliant firmament ; there is not a living creature
visible in any direction whither one searches the blank level
that stretches its monotonous miles on every hand ; there is
not a sound — not a sigh — not a whisper — not a buzz, or a whir
of wings, or distant pipe of bird — not even a sob from the
lost souls that doubtless people that dead air. And so the
occasional sneezing 'of the resting mules, and the champing of
144 KOMANCE DISPELLED.
tlie bits, grate harshly on the grim stillness, not dissipating
the spell but accenting it and making one feel more lonesome
and forsaken than before.
The mules, under violent swearing, coaxing and whip-
cracking, would make at stated intervals a " spurt," and drag
the coach a hundred or may be two hundred yards, stirring
up a billowy cloud of dust that rolled back, enveloping the
vehicle to the wheel-tops or higher, and making it seem afloat
in a fog. Then a rest followed, with the usual sneezing and-
bit-champing. Then another " spurt " of a hundred yards and
another rest at the end of it. All day long we kept this up,
without water for the mules and without ever changing the
team. At least we kept it up ten hours, which, I take it, is a
day, and a pretty honest one, in an alkali desert. It was from
four in the morning till two in the afternoon. And it was so
hot ! and so close \ and our water canteens went dry in the
middle of the day and we got so thirsty ! It was so stupid
and tiresome and dull! and the tedious hours did lag and
drag and limp along with such a cruel deliberation ! It was
so trying to give one's watch a good long undisturbed speU
and then take it out, and find that it had been fooling away
the time and not trying to get' ahead any ! The alkali dust
cut through our lips, it persecuted our eyes, it ate through the
delicate membranes and made om- noses bleed and kej)t thetei
bleeding — and truly and serioiisly the romance all faded far
away and disappeared, and left the desert trip nothing but a
harsh reality — a thirsty, sweltering, longing, hateful reality !
Two miles and a quarter an hour for ten hours — that' was
what we accomplished. It was hard to bring the comprehen-
sion away down to such a snail-pace as that, when we had been
used to making eight and ten miles an hour. "When we
reached the station on the farther verge of the desert, we were
glad, for the first time, that the dictionary was along, because
we never could have found language to tell how glad we were,
in any sort of dictionary but an unabridged one with pictures
in it. But there could not have been fou»d in a whole library
A BEAUTIFUL THING DISPOSED OF.
145
cf dictionaries language sufficient to tell how tired those mulea
were after their twenty-three mile pull. To try to give the
reader an idea of how ihvrsty they were, would be to " gild
refined gold or paint the lily."
Somehow, now that it is there, the quotation does not
seem to fit — ^but no matter, let it stay, anyhow. I think it is
a graceful and attractive thing, and therefore have tried time
and time again to work it in where it would fit, but could not
succeed. These efforts have kept my mind distracted and ill
at ease, and made my narrative seem broken and disjointed,
in places. Under these circumstances it seems to me best to
leave it in, as above, since this will afford at least a temporary
respite fi*om the wear and tear of trying to " lead up " to this
really apt and beautiful quotation.
lot
CHAPTEE XIX.
ON the morning of the sixteenth day out from St. Joseph
we arrived at the entrance of Rocky Canyon, two hun^
dred and. fifty miles from Salt Lake. It was along in this
wild country somewhere, and far from any habitation of white
men, except the stage stations, that we came across the wreteh-
edest type of mankind I have ever seen, up to this writing. I
refer to the Goshoot Indians. From what we could see and
all we could learn, they are very considerably inferior to even
the despised Digger Indians of California ; inferior to aU races
of savages on our continent ; inferior to even the Terra del
Euegans; inferior to the Hottentots, and actually inferior in
some respects to the Kytches of Africa. Indeed, I have been
obliged to look the bulky volumes of Wood's " Uncivilized
Races of Men" clear through in order to find a savage tribe
degraded enough to take rank with the Goshoots. I find but
one people fairly open to that shameful verdict. It is the BoB-
jesmans (Bushmen) of South Africa. Such of the Goshoots
as we saw, along the road and hanging about the stations,
were small, lean, "scrawny" creatures; in complexion a dull
black like the ordinary American negro ; their faces and hands
bearing dirt which they had been hoarding and accumulating
for months, years, and even generations, according to the age
of the proprietor; a silent, sneaking, treacherous looking race;
taking nqte of everything, covertly, like all the other " Noble
Eed Men " that we (do not) read about, and betraying no sign in
their countenances ; indolent, everlastingly patient and tireless,
like all other Indians ; prideless beggars — for if the beggar in-
CHARACTEKISTIC3 OF THE GOSHOOTS.
147
stinct were left out of an Indian he would not " go," any more
than a clock without a pendulum ; hungry, always hungry,
and yet never refusing anything that a hog would eat, though
often eating what a hog would decline ; hunters, but having
_^^^ .^^ no higher
ambition
than to kill
andeat jack-
ass rabbits,
GOSHOOT INDIANS HAKGIN(i AROUND STATIONS.
crickets and grasshoppers, an,d embezzle cari'ion from the buz-
zards and cayotes ; savages who, when asked if they have the
common Jn,dian belief in a Great Spirit show a something
which almost amounts to emotion, thinking whiskey is referred
to ; a thin, scattering race of almost naked black children, these
Goshoots are, who produce nothing at all, and have no villages,
and no gatherings together into strictly defined tribal com-
munities— a people whose only shelter is a rag cast on a bush
to keep oil a portion of the snow, and yet who inhabit one of
the most rocky, wintry, repulsive wastes that our country or
any other can exhibit.
The Bushmen and our Goshoots are manifestly descended
from the self-same gorilla, or kangaroo, or Norway rat, which-
ever animal-Adam the Darwinians trace them to.
One would as soon expect the rabbits to fight as the
,148 A BRAVE DRIVEE AND TERRIFIED JUDGE.
Gostoots, and yet they used to live off the offal and refuse
of the stations a few months and then come some dark
night when no mischief was expected, and bum down the
buildings and kill the men from ambush as they rushed
out. And once, in the night, they attacked the stage-coach
when a District Judge, of Nevada Territory, was the only
passenger, and with their first volley of arrows (and a bullet
or two) they riddled the stage curtains, wounded a horse or
two and mortally wounded the driver. The latter was full
of pluck, and so was his passenger. At the driver's call
Judge Mott swung himself out, clambered to the box and
seized the reins of the team, and away they plimged, through
the racing mob of skeletons and under a hurtling storm of
missiles. The stricken driver had sunk down on the boot as
soon as he was wounded, but had held on to the reins and
said he would manage to keep hold of them until relieved.
Ai^.^after they
werie' taken from
his relaxing
grasp, he lay with
his head between
Judge Mott's
feet, and tran-
quilly gave direc-
tions about the
road; he said he
believed he could
live till the mis-
creants were out-
run and left be-
hind, and that if
he managed that,
THE DRIVE rOB UFB. .1 . j-/c„„l*„
the mam dimculty
would be at an end, and then if the Judge drove so and so
(giving directions about bad places in the road, and general
course) he would reach the next station without trouble. The
Judge distanced the enemy and at last rattled up to the
station and knew that the night's perils were done; but
THE RED MEN SLAKDEEED. 149
there was no comrade-in-arms for liim to rejoice with, for the
soldierly driver was dead.
Let us forget that we have been saying harsh things about
the Overland drivers, now. The disgust which the Goshoota
gave me, a disciple of Cooper and a worshipper of the Eed
Man — even of the scholarly savages in the " Last of the Mo-
hicans" who ai'e fittingly associated with backwoodsmen
who divide each sentence into two equal parts : one part crit-
ically grammatical, refined and choice of language, and the
other part just such an attempt to talk like a hunter or a
mountaineer, as a Broadway clerk might make after eating an
edition of Emerson Bennett's works and studying frontier
life at the Bowery Theatre a couple of weeks — I say that the
nausea which the Goshoots gave me, an Indian worshipper,
set me to examining authorities, to see if perchance I had been
over-estimating the Red Man while viewing him through the
mellow moolfthine of romance. The revelations that came
were disenchanting. It was curious to seQ how quickly the
paint and tinsel fell away from him and left him treacherous,
filthy and repulsive — and how quickly the evidences accumu-
lated that wherever one finds an Indian tribe he has only
found Goshoots more or less modified by circumstances and
surroundings — but Goshoots, after all. They deserve pity,
poor creatures ; and they can have mine — at thir distance. -
Nearer by, they never get anybody's. „ \-
There is an impression abroad that the Baltimore and
Washington Railroad Company and many of its employes are
Goshoots ; but it is an error. There is only a plausible resem-
blance, which, while it is apt enough to mislead the ignorant,
cannot deceive parties who have contemplated both tribes.
But seriously, it was not only poor wit, but very wrong to
start the report referred to above ; for however innocent the
motive may have been, the necessary efiect was to injure the
reputation of a class who have a hard enough time of it in the
pitiless deserts of the Rocky Mountains, Heaven knows ! If
we cannot find it in our hearts to give those poor naked crea-
tures our Christian sympathy and compassion, in God's name
let us at least not throw mud at them.
OHAPTEE XX.
ON tlie seventeenth day we passed the highest moimtain
peaks we had yet seen, and although the day was very
warm the night that followed' upon its heels was wintry cold
and blankets were next to useless.
On the eighteenth day we encountered the eastward-bound
telegraph-constructors at Reese Eiver station and sent a mes-
sage to his Excellency Gov. Nye at Carson City (distant one
hundred and iifty-six miles).
On the nineteenth day we crossed the Great American
Desert — forty memorable miles of bottomless sand, into which
the coach wheels sunk from six inches to a foot. We worked
our passage most of the way across. That is to say, we got
out tod walked. It was a dreary pull and a long and thirsty
one, for we had no water. From one extremity of this desert
to the other, the road was white with the bones of oxen and
horses. It would hardly be an exaggeration to say that we
could have walked the forty miles and set our feet on a bone
at every step! The desert was one prodigious graveyard.
And the log-chains, wagon tyres, and rotting wrecks of vehi-
cles were almost as thick as the bones. I think we saw log-
chains enough rusting there in the desert, to reach across any
State in the Union. Do not these relics suggest something of
an idea of the fearful suffering and privation the early emi-
grants to California endured ?
At the border of the Desert lies Carson Lake, or The
" Sink " of the Carson, a shallow, melancholy alieet of water
A BALD-HEADED ANECDOTE.
151
some eighty, or a Imndred miles in circumference. Carson
Kiver empties into it and is lost — sinks mysteriously into the
earth and never appears in the light of the sun again — for the
lake has no outlet whatever.
There are several rivers in Ifevada, and they all have this
mysterious fate. They end in various lakes or "sinks," and
that is the last of them. Carson Lake, Humboldt Lake,
Walker Lake, Mono Lake, are all great sheets of water with-
out any visible outlet. Water is always flowing into them ;
none is ever seen
to flow out of them,
and yet they re-
main always level
full, neither reced-
ing nor overflowing.
What they do with
their surplus is
only known to the
Creator.
Op. the western
verge of the Desert
we halted a moment
at Eagtown. It con-
sisted of one log-
house and is not set
down on the map.
This reminds me
of a circumstance. Just after we left Julesburg, on the Platte,
I was sitting with the driver, and he said :
"I can tell you a most laughable thing indeed, if you
would like to listen to it. Horace Greeley went over this road
once. When he was leaving Carson City he told the driver,
Hank Monk, that he had an engagement to lecture at Placer-
ville and was very anxious to go through quick. Hank Monk
cracked his whip and started off at an awful pace. The coach
bounced up and down in such a terrific way that it jolted the
buttons all off of Horace's coat, and finally shot his head clean
gkeeley's bide.
152 THE ANECDOTE REPEATED.
through the roof of the stage, and then he yelled at Hank
Monk and begged him to go easier — said he wam't in as much
of a hurry as he was awhile ago. But Hank Monk said,
' Keep your seat, Horace, and I'll get you there on time ' —
and you bet you he did, too, what was left of him ! "
A day or two after that we picked up a Denver man at
the cross roads, and he told us a good deal about the country
and the Gregory Diggings. He seemed a very entertaining
person and a man well posted in the affairs of Colorado. By
and by he remarked ;
" I can tell you a most laughable thing indeed, if you would
like to listen to it. Horace Greeley went over this road once.
When he was leaving Carson City he told the driver, Hank
Monk, that he had an engagement to lecture at Placerville
and was very anxious to go through quick. Hank Monk
cracked his whip and started off at an awful pace. The coach
bounced up and down in such a terrific way that it jolted the
buttons all off of Horace's coat, and finally shot his head clean
through the roof of the stage, and then he yelled at Hank
Monk and begged him to go easier — said he wam't in as much
of a hurry as he was awhile ago. But Hank Monk said,
' Keep your seat, Horace, and I'll get you there on time ! ' —
and you bet you be did, too, what was left of him ! "
At Fort Bridger, some days after this, we took on board a
cavalry sergeant, a very proper and soldierly person indeed.
From no other man during the whole journey, did we gather
such a store of concise and well-arranged military infoiination.
It was surprising to find in the desolate wilds of our country
a man so thoroughly acquainted with everything useful to
know in his Hue of life, and yet of such inferior rank and \m-
pretentious bearing. For as much as three hours we listened
to him with unabated interest. Finally he got upon the sub-
ject of trans-continental travel, and presently said :
" I can tell you a veiy laughable thing indeed, if you would
like to listen to it. Horace Greeley went over this road once.
When he was leaving Carson City he told the driver. Hank
Monk, that he had an engagement to lecture at Placerville and
AN INTERESTING EEPETITION. 153
was very anxious to go througli quick. Hank Monk cracked
his whip and started off at an awful pace. The coach bounced
up and down in such a terrific way that it jolted the buttons
all off of Horace's coat, and finally shot his head clean through
the roof of the stage, and then he yelled at Hank Monk and
begged him to go easier — said he warn't in as much of a hurry
as he was awhile ago. But Hank Monk said, ' Keep your
seat, Horace, and I'U get you there on time ! ' — and you bet you
he did, too, what was left of him ! "
When we were eight hours out from Salt Lake City a
Mormon preacher got in with us at a way station — a gentle,
Boft-spoken, kindly man, and, one whom any stranger would
warm to at first sight. I can never forget the pathos that was
in his voice as he told, in simple language, the story of his
people's wanderings and unpitied sufferings. 'No pulpit elo-
quence was ever so moving and so beautiful as this outcast's
picture of the first Mormon pilgrimage across the plains,
struggling sorrowfully onward to the land of its banishment
and marking its desolate way with graves and watering it with
tears. His words so wrought upon us that it was a relief to
ns all when the conversation drifted into a more cheerful chan-
nel and the natural features of the curious country we were in
came under treatment. One matter after another was pleas-
antly discussed, and at length the stranger said :
" I can tell you a most laughable thing indeed, if you would
like to listen to it. Horace Greeley went over this road once.
When he was leaving Carson City he told the driver, Hank
Monk, that he had an engagement to lecture in Placerville,
and was very anxious to go through quick. Hank Monk
cracked his whip and started off at an awful pace. The coach
bounced up and down in such a terrific way that it jolted the
buttons all off of Horace's coat, and finally shot his head clean
through the roof of the stage, and then he yelled at Hank
Monk and begged him to go easier — said he warn't in as much
of a hurry as he was awhile ago. But Hank Monk said,
'Keep your seat, Horace, and I'll get you there on time!' —
and you bet you he did, too, what was left of him ! "
154
A GEATEFUL STRANGER.
Ten miles out of Bagtown we found a poor wanderer who
had lain down to die. He had walked as long as he could,
but his limbs had failed him at last. Hunger and fatigue
had conquered him. It would have been inhuman to leave
him there. We paid his fare to Carson and lifted him
into the coach. It was some little time before he showed any
very decided signs of life ; but by dint of chafing him and
pouring bran'dy between his lips we finally brought him to a
languid consciousness. Then we fed him a little, and by and
by he seemed to comprehend the situation and a grateful
light softened his eye. We made his mail-sack bed as com-
fortable as possible, and constructed a pillow for him with our
eoats. He seemed very thankful. Then he looked up in our
faces, and said in a feeble voice that had a tremble of honest
emotion in it :
" Gentlemen, I know not who you are, but you have saved
my life ; and although I can never be able to repay you for it, I
feel that I can
at least make
one hour of your
long journey
lighter. I take
it you are strang-
ers to this great
thoroughfare,
but I am entire-
ly familiar with
it. In this con-
nection I can
tell you a most
laughable thing
indeed, if you
Horace Greeley — "
BOTTLIJJG AN AUEODOTE.
would like to listen to it.
I said, impressively :
" Suffering stranger, proceed at your peril. You see in me
the melancholy wreck of a once stalwart and magnificent man-
hood. What has brought me to this ? That thing which you
A FAMOUS AND IMMORTAL ADVENTURE. 155
are about to tell, gradually but surely, that tiresome old
anepdote bas sapped my strength, undermined my constitu-
tion, withered my life. Pity my helplessness. Spare me
only just this once, and tell me about young George Wash-
ington and his little hatchet for a change."
We were saved. But not so the invalid. In trying to
retain the anecdote in his systeih'he strained himself and
died in our arms.
I am aware, now, that I ought not to have asked of the
sturdiest citizen of all that region, what I asked of that mere
shadow of a man ; for, after seven years' residence on the Pa-
cific coast, I know that no passenger or driver on the Overland
ever corked that anecdote in, when a stranger was by, and sur-
vived. Within a period of six years I crossed and recrossed the
Sierras between Nevada and California thirteen times by stage
and listened to that deathless incident four hundred and eighty-
one or eighty-two times. I have the list somewhere. Drivers
always told it, conductors told it, landlords told it, chailce
passengers told it, the very Chinamen and vagrant Indians
recounted it. I have had the same driver tell it to me two
or three times in the same afternoon. It has come to me in
all the multitude of tongues that Babel bequeathed to earth,
and flavored with whiskey, brandy, beer, cologne, sozodont,
tobacco, garlic, onions, grasshoppers — everything that has a fra-
grance to it through all the long list of things that are gorged
or guzzled by the sons of men. I never have smelt any anec-
dote as often as I have smelt that one ; never have smelt any
anecdote that smelt so variegated as that one. And you never
could learn to know it by its smell, because every time you
thought you had learned the smell of it, it would turn up with
a different smell. Bayard Taylor has written about this hoary
anecdote, Kichardson has published it ; so have Jones, Smith,
Johnson, Eoss Browne, and every other correspondence-indit-
ing being that ever set his foot upon the great overland road
anywhere between Julesburg and San Francisco ; and I have
heard that it is in the Talmud. I have seen it in print in
nine different foreign languages ; I have been told that it is
156 ALAS! AN INFAMOUS FALSEHOOD.
employed in the inquisition in Home ; and I now learn with
regret that it is going to be set to music. I do not think that
such things are riglit.
Stage-coaching on the Overland is no more, and stage
drivers are a race defunct. I wonder if they bequeathed that
bald-headed anecdote to their successors, the railroad brake-
men and conductors, and if these latter still persecute the
helpless passenger with it until he concludes, as did many a
totirist of other days, that the real grandeurs of the Pacific coast
are not Yo Semite and the Big Trees, but Hank Monk and
his adventure with Horace Greeley.*
*And what makes that worn anecdote the more aggravating, is, that
the adventure it celebrates never occurred. If it were a good anecdote,
that seeming demerit would be its chiefest virtue, for creative power be-
longs to greatness ; but what ought to be done to a man who would wantonly
contrive so flat a one as this? If 7 were, to suggest what ought to be done
to him, I should be called extravagant — but what does the thirteenth chap-
ter of Daniel gay 7 Aha I
CHAPTER XXI.
"TTyTE were approaching the end of our long journey. It
V V was the morning of the twentieth day. At noon we
would reach Carson City, the capital of Nevada Territory.
We were not glad, but sorry. It had been a fine pleasure
trip; we had fed fat on wonders every day; we were now
well accustomed to stage life, and very fond of it ; so the idea
of coming to a stand-still and settlijjg down to a humdrum
existence in a village was not agreeable, but on the contraiy
depressing.
Visibly our new home was a desert, walled in by barren,
snow-clad mountains. There was not a tree in sight. There
was no vegetation but the endless sage-brush and greasewood.
All nature was gray with it. "We were plowing through
great deeps of powdery alkali dust that rose in thick clouds
and iloated across the plain like smoke from a burning house.
We were coated with it like millers ; so were the coach, the
mules, the mail-bags, the driver — we and the sage-brush and
the other scenery were all one monotonous color. Long trains
of freight wagons in the distance enveloped in ascending
masses of dust suggested pictures of prairies on fire. These
teams and their masters were the only life we saw. Other-
wise we moved in the midst of solitude, silence and desolation.
Every twenty steps we passed the skeleton of some dead
beast of burthen, with its dust-coated skin stretched tightly
over its empty ribs. Frequently a solemn raven sat upon the
158 ARRIVED AT CARSON CITT.
elmll or tlie hips and contemplated tlie passing coacli witli
meditative serenity.
By and by Carson City was pointed out to ns. It nestled
ia the edge of a great plain and was a sufficient number of
miles away to look like an assemblage
of mere white spots in the shadow of
a grim range of mountains overlook-
ing it, whose summits seemed lifted
clear out of companionship and con-
sciousness of earthly things.
We arrived, disembarked, and the
stage went on. It was a " wooden "
town; its population two thousand
coNTEMPLATioK. souls. Thc maiu street consisted of
four or five blocks of little white frame stores which were too
high to sit down on, but not too high for various other purposes;
in fact, hardly high enough. They were packed close together,
side by side, as if room were scarce in that mighty plain. The
sidewalk was of boards that were more or less loose and
inclined to rattle when walked upon. In the middle of the
town, opposite the stores, was the " plaza " which is native to
all towns beyond the Eocky Mountains — a large, unfenced,
level vacancy, with a liberty pole in it, and very useful as a
place for public auctions, horse trades, and mass meetings, and
likewise for teamsters to camp in. Two other sides of the
plaza were faced by stores, offices and stables. The rest of
Carson City was pretty scattering.
"We were introduced to several citizens, at the stage-office
and on the way up to the Governor's from the hotel — among
others, to a Mr. Harris, who was on horseback ; he began to
say something, but interrupted himself with the remark :
" I'll have to get you to excuse me a minute ; yonder is the
witness that swore I helped to rob the California coach — a
piece of impertinent intermeddling, sir, for I am not even
acquainted with the man."
Then he rod& over and began to rebuke the stranger with
a six-shooter, and the stranger began to explain with another.
FIRST DAT OF SIGHT-SEEING.
159
When the pistols were emptied, the stranger resumed his work
(mending a whip-lash), and Mr. Harris rode by with a polite
nod, homeward bound, with a bullet through one of his lungs,
and several in his hips ; and from them issued little rivulets
of blood that coursed down the horse's sides and made the
animal look quite picturesque. I never saw Harris shoot a
man after that but it recalled to mind that first day in Carson.
This was aU-we saw that day, for it was two o'clock, now,
and according to custom the daily " Washoe Zephyr " set in ;
a soaring dust-drift about the size of the United. States set up
edgewise came with it, and the capital of Nevada Territory
THB WASHOE ZEPHYR.
disappeared from yiew. Still, there were sights to be seen
which were not wholly uninteresting to new comers ; for the
vast dust cloud was thickly freckled with things strange to the
upper air — things living and dead, that flitted hither and
thither, going and coming, appearing and disappearing among
160 A WASHOE ZEPHYR AT PLAT.
the rolling billows of dust — hats, chickens and parasols sailing
in the remote heavens; blankets, tin signs, sage-brush and
shingles a shade lower; door-mats and buffalo robes lower
still ; shovels and coal scuttles on the next grade ; glass doors,
cats and little children on the next; disrupted lumber yards,
light buggies and wheelbarrows on the next ; and down only
thirty or forty feet above ground was a scurrying storm of
emigrating roofs and vacant lots.
It was something to see that much. I could have seen
more, if I could have kept the dust out of my eyes.
But seriously a Washoe wind is by no means a trifling
matter. It blows flimsy houses down, lifts shingle roofs oc-
casionally, rolls up tin ones like sheet music, now and then
blows a stage coach over and spills the passengers ; and tra-
dition says the reason there are so many bald people there, is,
that the wind blows the hair off their heads while they are
looking skyward after their hats. Carson streets seldom look
inactive on Summer afternoons, because there are so many
citizens skipping around their escaping hats, like chamber-
maids trying to head off a spider.
The "Washoe Zephyr" (Washoe is a pet nickname for
Nevada) is a peculiarly Scriptural wind, in that no man
knoweth " whence it cometh." That is to say, where it origi-
nates. It comes right over the mountains from the West, but
when one crosses the ridge he does not find any of it on the
other side ! It probably is manufactured on the mountain-top
for the occasion, and starts from there. It is a pretty regular
wind, in the summer time. Its oflace hours are from two in
the afternoon till two the next morning ; and anybody ventur-
ing abroad during those twelve hours needs to allow for the
wind, or he will bring up a mile or two to leeward of the
point he is aiming at. And yet the first complaint a Washoe
Adsitor to pan Francisco makes, is that the sea winds blow so,
there ! There is a good deal of human nature in that.
We found the state palace of the Governor of Nevada
Territory to consist of a white frame one-story house with two
small rooms in it and a stanchion supported shed in front — for
OFFICIAL HEAD-QUARTERS'
161
grandeur — it compelled the respect of the citizen and inspired
the Indians with awe. The newly arrived Chief and Associate
Justices of the Territory, and other machinery of the govern-
ment, were domiciled with less splendor. They were boarding
around privately, and had their oflBces in their bedrooms.
The Secretary and I took quarters in the " ranch " of a
worthy French lady by the name of Bridget O'Flannigan, a
camp follower of his Excellency the Governor. She had
known him in his prosperity as commander-in-chief of the
Metropolitan Police of New York, and she would not desert
THB GOVEENOK'8 HOUSE.
liim in his adversity as Governor of Nevada. Our room was
on the lower floor, facing the plaza, and when we had got our
bed, a small table, two chairs, the government fire-proof safe,
and the Unabridged Dictionary into it, there was still room
enough left for a visitor — may be two, but not without strain-
ing the walls. But the walls could stand it — at least the par-
titions could, for they consisted simply of one thickness of
white " cotton domestic " stretched from comer to comer of
the room. This was the mle in Carson — any other kind of
partition was the rare exception. And if you stood in a dark
llf
162
LUXURIOUS ACCOMMODATIONS.
DABK SISCLOStTREg.
room and your neighbors in the next had lights, the shadows
on your canvas told queer secrets sometimes ! Yery often
these partitions
were made of old
flour sacks basted
together ; and ihen
the difference be-
tween the common
herd and the aris-
tocracy was, that the
common herd had
unornamented
sacks, while the
walls of the aris-
tocrat were over-
powering with ru-
dimental fresco —
*'. e., red and blue
mill brands on the
fl,our sacks. Occasionally, also, the better classes embellished
their canvas by pasting pictures from Harper's Weekly on them.
In many cases, too, the wealthy and the cultured rose to spit-
toons and other evidences of a sumptuous and hixurious taste.*
We had a carpet and a genuine queen' s-ware washbowl. Con-
sequently we were hated without reserve by the other tenants
of the O'Flannigan " ranch." "WTien we added a painted oil-
cloth window curtain, we simply took our lives into our own
hands. To prevent bloodshed I removed up stairs and took
up quarters with the untitled plebeians in one of the fourteen
white pine cot-bedsteads that stood in two long ranks in the
one sole room of which the second story consisted.
It was a jolly company, the fourteen. They were princi-
pally voluntary camp-followers of the Governor, who had
joined his retinue by their own election at New York and
* Washoe people take a joke so hard that I must explain that the above
description was only the rule ; there were many honorable exceptions in
Carson — plastered ceilings and houses that had considerable furniture in
them. — M. T.
MRS. O'FLANNIGAN'S BOARDERS.
163
San Francisco and came along, feeling that in the scuffle for
little territorial crumbs and offices they could not make their
condition more precarious than it was, and might reasonably
expect to make it better. They were popularly known as the
" Irish Brigade," though there were only four or five Irish-
men among all the Governor's retainers. His good-natured
THE IKISH BBIGADE.
Excellency was much annoyed at the gossip his henchmen
created — especially when there arose a rumor that they were
paid assassins of his, brought along to quietly reduce the
democratic vote, when desirable !
Mrs. O'Flannigan was boarding and lodging them at ten
dollars a week apiece, and they were cheerfully giving their
noteg for it. They were perfectly satisfied, but Bridget pres-
ently found that notes that could not be discounted were but
a feeble constitution for a Carson boarding-house. So she
began to harry the Governor to find employment for the
" Brigade." Her importunities and theirs together drove him
to a gentle desperation at last, and he finally bummoned the
Brigade to the presence. Then, said he :
164 EMPLOYMENT FOK THE BRIGADE.
" Gentlemen, I have planned a lucrative and useful service
for you — a service which will provide you with recreation amid
noble landscapes, and afford you never ceasing opportunities
for enriching your minds by observation and study. I want
you to survey a railroad from Carson City westward to a cer-
tain point ! When the legislature meets I will have the neces-
sary bill passed and the remuneration arranged."
" What, a railroad over the Sierra Nevada Mountains ? "
" Well, then, survey it eastward to a certain point ! "
He converted them into surveyors, chain-bearers and so
on, and turned them loose in the desert. It was " recreation "
with a vengeance ! Recreation on foot, lugging chains through
sand and sage-brush, under a sultry sun and among cattle bones,
cayotes and tarantulas. "Komantic
adventure " could go no further. They
surveyed very slowly, very deliberately,
very carefully. They returned every
night during the first week, dusty,
footsore, tired, and hungry, but very
jolly. They brought in great store
P3^- •< ii<-- ' ^ °^ prodigious hairy spiders — tarantu-
^X-^SS}""^ ^gg — ^^^ imprisoned them in covered
EECKEATioN. tumblcrs up stairs in the "ranch."
After the first week, they had to camp on the field, for they
were getting well eastward. They made a good many in-
quiries as to the location of that indefinite " certain point," b\it
got no information. At last, to a peculiarly urgent inquiry
of " How far eastward ? " Governor Nye telegraphed back :
" To the Atlantic Ocean, blast you ! — and then bridge it
and go on ! "
This brought back the dusty toilers, who sent in a report
land ceased from 'their labors. The Governor was always com-
fortable about it ; he said Mrs. O'Flannigan would hold him
for the Brigade's board anyhow, and he intended to get what
entertainment he could out of the boys ; he said, with his old-
time pleasant twinkle, that he meant to survey them into Utah
and then telegraph Brigham to hang them for trespass !
THE TAKANTULAS LOOSE. 165
The surveyors brought back more tarantulas with them,
and so we had quite a menagerie arranged along the shelves
of the room. Some of these spiders could straddle over a
common saucer with their hairy, muscular legs, and when
their feelings were hurt, or their dignity offended, they were
the wickedest-looking desperadoes the animal world can fur-
nish. If their glass pris-
on-houses were touched
ever so lightly they
were up and spoiling
for a fight in a minute.
Starchy? — proud? In-
THE TABANTuiA. ^jggjj^ ^hey would take
up a straw and 'pick their teeth like a member of Congi-ess.
There was as usual a furious "zephyr" blowing the first
night of the brigade's retvu-n, and about midnight the roof
of an adjoining stable blew off, and a corner of it came crash-
ing through the side of our ranch. There was a simultane-
ous awakening, and a tumultuous muster of the brigade in
the dark, and a general tumbling and sprawling over each
other in the narrow aisle between the bed-rows. In the
midst of the turmoil. Bob H sprung up out of a sound
sleep, and knocked down a shelf with his head. Instantly he
shouted :
" Turn out, boys — the tarantulas is loose ! "
1^0 warning ever sounded so dreadful. Nobody tried, any
longer, to leave the room, lost he might step on a tarantula.
Every man groped for a trunk or a bed, and jumped on it.
Then followed the strangest silence — a silence of grisly sus-
pense it was, too — waiting, expectancy, fear. It was as dark
as pitch, and one had to imagine the spectacle of those four-
teen scant-clad men roosting gingerly on trunks and beds, for
not a thing could be seen. Then came occasional little inter-
ruptions of the silence, and one could recognize a man and
tell his locality by his voice, or locate any other sound a suf-
ferer made by his gropings or changes of position. The occa-
sional voices -ftrere not given to much speaking— you simply
166 MRS. O'FLANNIGAN COMES TO THE RESCUE.
heard a gentle ejaculation of " Ow ! " followed by a solid
thump, and you knew the gentleman had felt a hairy blanket
or something touch his bare skin and had skipped from a bed
to the floor. Another silence. Presently you would hear a
gasping voice say :
" Su-su-something's crawling up the back of my neck ! "
Every now and then you could hear a little subdued scram-
ble and a sorrowful " O Lord ! " and then you knew that some-
body was getting away from something he took for a taran-
tula, and not losing any time about it, either. Directly a voice
in the comer rang out wild and clear :
" I've got him ! . I've got him ! " [Pause, and probable
change of circumstances.] " No, he's got me ! Oh, ain't they
never going to fetch a lantern ! "
The lantern came at that moment, in the hands of Mrs.
O'Flannigan, whose anxiety to know the amount of damage
LIGHT THROWN ON THB SUBJECT.
done by the assaulting roof had. not prevented her waiting a
judicious interval, after getting out of bed and lighting up, to
ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL. 167
8ee if the wind was done, now, up stairs, or had a larger con-
tract.
The landscape presented when the lantern flashed into the
room was picturesque, and might have been funny to some
people, but was not to us. Although we were perched so
strangely upon boxes, trunks and beds, and so strangely at-
tired, too, we were itoo earnestly distressed and too genuinely
miserable to see any fun about it, and there was not the sem-
blance of a smile anywhere visible. I know I am not capa-
ble of suffering more than I did during those few minutes of
suspense in the darkj surrounded by those creeping, bloody-
minded tarantulas. I had skipped from bed to bed and from
box to box in a cold agony, and every time I touched anything
that was furzy I fancied I felt the fangs. I had rather go to
war than li^e that episode over again. Nobody was hurt. The
man who thought a tarantula had " got him " was mistaken —
only a crack in a box had caught his linger. Not one of those
escaped tarantulas was ever seen again. There were ten or
twelve of them. We took candles and hunted the place high
and low for them, but with no success. Did we go back to
bed then ? "We did nothing of the kind. Money could not
have persuaded us to do it. We sat up the rest of the night
playing cribbage and keeping a sharp lookout for the enemy.
CHAPTER XXII.
IT was tte end of August, and the skies were cloudless and
the weather superb. In two or three weeks I had grown
wonderfully fascinated with the curious new country, and
concluded to put off my return to " the States " awhile. I
had grown well accustomed to wearing a damaged slouch hat,
blue woolen shirt, and pants crammed into boot-tops, and
gloried in the absence of coat, vest and braces. I felt rowdy-
ish and "bully," (as ^ the historian Josephus phrases it, in his
fine chapter upon the destruction of the Temple). It seemed
to me that nothing could be so fine and so romantic. I had
become an oflicer of the government, but that was for mere
sublimity. The office was an unique sinecure. I had nothing
to do and no salary. I was private Secretary to his majesty
the Secretary and there was not yet writing enough for two
of us. So Johnny K and I devoted our time to amuse-
ment. He was the young son of an Ohio nabob and was out
there for recreation. He got it. We had heard a world of
talk about the marvellous beauty of Lake Tahoe, and finally
curiosity drove us thither to see it. Three or four members
of the Brigade had been there and located some timber lands
on its shores and stored up a quantity of provisions in their
camp. We strapped a couple of blankets on our shoulders
and took an axe apiece and started — for we intended to take
up a wood ranch or so ourselves and become wealthy. We
were on foot. The reader will find it advantageous to go
horseback. We were told that the distance was eleven miles.
BOUND FOE LAKE TAHOE.
169
We tramped a long time on level ground, and then toiled
laboriously up a mountain about a thousand miles high and
looked over. No lake there. We descended on the other
side, crossed the valley and toiled up another mountain three
or four thousand miles high, apparently, and looked over again.
No lake yet. We sat down tired and perspiring, and hired a
couple of Chinamen to curse those people who had beguiled
us. Thus refreshed, we presently resumed the march with
renewed vigor and determination. We plodded on, two or
three hours longer, and at last the Lake burst upon us — a
noble sheet of blue water lifted six thousand three hundred
feet above the level of the sea, and walled in by a rim of snow-
clad mountain peaks that towered aloft full three thousand feet
higher still ! It was a vast oval, and one would have to use
up eighty or a hundred good miles in traveling around it. As
it lay there with the shadows of the mountains brilliantly
photographed upon its still surface I thought it must surely
be the fairest picture the whole earth affords.
We found the small skiff belonging to the Brigade boys,
and without loss of time
set out across a deep bend
of the lake toward the land-
marks that signified the lo-
cality of the camp. I got
Johnny to row — not be-
cause I mind exertion my-
self, but because it makes
me sick to ride backwards
when I am at work. But
I steered. A three-mile pull brought us to
the camp just as , the night fell, and we
stepped ashore very tired and wolfishly hun-
gry. In a " cache " among the rocks we found
the provisions and the cooking utensils, and then, all fatigued
as I was, I sat down on a boulder and superintended while
Johnny gathered wood and cooked supper. Many a man who
bad gone through what I had, would have wanted to rest.
I STEERED.
170
CAMP LIFE AND QUIET CONSCIENCES.
It was a delicious supper — hot bread, fried bacon, and
black coffee. It was a delicious solitude we were in, too.
Three miles away was a saw-mill and some workmen, but
there were not fifteen other human beings throughout the
wide circumference of the lake. As the darkness closed down
and the stars came out and spangled the great mirror with
jewels, we smoked meditatively in the solemn hush.and forgot
our troubles and our pains. In due time we spread oiu-
blankets in the warm sand between two large boulders and
soon feel asleep, careless of the procession of ants that passed
in through rents in our clothing and explored our persons.
Nothing could disturb the sleep that fettered us, for it had
been fairly earned, and if our consciences had any sins on
them they had to adjourn court for that night, any way. The
wind rose just as we were losing consciousness, and we were
lulled to sleep by the beating of the surf upon the shore.
It is always very cold on that lake shore in the night, but
we had plenty of blankets and were warm enough. We never
moved a muscle all night, but waked at
early dawn in the original positions, and
got up at once, thoroughly refreshed,
free from soreness, and brim full of
friskiness. There is no end of whole-
some medicine in such an experience.
That morning we could have whipped
ten such people as we were the day
before — sick ones at any rate. Eut the
world is slow, and people will go to
" water cui-es " and •" movement cures "
and to foreign lands for health. Three
months of camp life on Lake Tahoe
would restore an Egyptian mummy to
his pristine vigor, and give him an appetite like an alligator.
I do not mean the oldest and driest mummies, of course, but the
fresher ones. The air up there in the clouds is very pure and
fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? — it is
the same the angels breathe. I think that hardly any amount
THE INVALID.
A PARADISE FOR INVALIDS.
171
of fatigue can be gathered together tliat a man cannot sleep off
in one night on the Band by its side. Not under a roof, but
under the sky ; it seldom or never rains there in the summer
time. I know a man who went there to die. But he made a
failure of it. He was a skeleton when he came, and could
barely stand. He had no appetite, and did nothing but read
tracts and reflect on the future. Three months later he was
sleeping out of doors regularly, eating all he could hold, three
times a day, and chasing game over mountains three thousand
feet high for recreation. And he was a skeleton no longer,
but weighed part of a ton. This is no fancy sketch, but the
truth. His disease was consumption. I confidently commend
his experience to other skeletons.
I superintended again, and as sobn as we had eaten breakr
fast we got in the boat and
skirted along the lake shore
about three miles and disem-
barked. We liked the appear-
ance of the place, and so we
claimed some three hundred
acres of it and stuck our " no-
tices " on a tree. It was yellow
pine timber land — a dense forest
of trees a hundred feet high and
from one to five feet through at
the butt. It was necessary to
fence our property or we could
not hold it. That is to say, it was
necessary to cut down trees here
and there and make them fall in
such a yyaj as to form a sort of
enclosure (with pretty wide gaps
in it). "We cut down three trees apiece, aod found it such
heart-breaking work that we decided to "rest our case" on
those ; if they held the property, well and good ; if they
didn't, let the property spill out through the gaps and go ; it
was no use to work ourselves to death merely to save a few
THE KEBTOKED.
172
SECURING OUR TITLE TO LANDS.
acres of land. Next day we came back to build a house —
for a house was also necessary, in order to hold the property.
We decided to build a substantial log-house and excite the
envy of the Brigade boys ; but by the time we had cut and
trimmed the first log it seemed unnecessary to be so elaborate,
and so we concluded to build it 'of saplings. However, two
saplings, duly cut and trimmed, compelled recognition of the
fact that a still modester architecture would satisfy the law,
and so we concluded to build a " brush " house. We devoted
the next day to this work, but we did so much "sitting
around" and discussing, that by the middle of the afternoon
we had achieved only a half-way sort of affair which one of us
had to watch while the other
cut brush, lest if both turned
our backs we might not be
able to find it again, it had
such a strong family resem-
blance to the surrounding
vegetation. But we were
satisfied with it.
We were land owners
now, duly seized and pos-
sessed, and within the pro-
tection of the law. There-
fore we decided to take up
our residence on our own
domain and enjoy that large sense of
independence which only such an expe-
rience can bring. Late the next after-
noon, after a good long rest, we sailed
OUB HOUSE.
away frpm the Brigade camp with aU
the provisions and cooking utensils we could carry off — borrow
is the more accurate word — and just as the night was falling
we beached the boat at our own landing.
CHAPTER XXIII.
IF there is any life that is happier than the life we led on our
timber ranch for the next two or three weeks, it must be
a sort of life which I have not read of in books or experienced
in person. "We did not see a human being but ourselves during
the time, or hear any sounds but those that were made by the
wind and the waves, the sighing of the pines, and now and
then the far-off thunder of an avalanche. The forest about us
was dense and cool, the sky above us was cloudless and bril-
liant with sunshine, the broad lake before us was glassy and
clear, or rippled and breezy, or black and storm-tossed, accord-
ing to Nature's mood; and its circling border of mountain
domes, clothed with forests, scarred with land-slides, cloven by
canons and valleys, and helmeted with glittering snow, fitly
framed and finished the noble picture. The view was always
fascinating, bewitching, entrancing. The eye was never tired
of gazing, night or day, in calm or stonn ; it suffered but one
grief, and that was that it could not look always, but must close
soi;netimes in sleep.
We slept in the sand close to the water's edge, between two
protecting boulders, which took care of the stormy night- wiiida
for us. "We never took any paregoric to make us sleep. At
the first break of dawn we were always up and running foot-
races to tone down excess of physical vigor and exuberance of
spirits. That is, Johnny was — ^but I held his hat. "While
smoking the pipe of peace after breakfast we watched the sen-
tinel peaks put on the glory of the sun, and followed the con-
174
LAKE TAHOE.
quering light as it swept down among the shadows, and set the
captive crags and forests free. We watched the tinted pictures
grow and brighten upon the water till every little detail of
forest, precipice and pinnacle was wrought in and finished, and
the miracle of the enchanter complete. Then to " business."
That is, driiling around in the boat. We were on the
north shore. There, the rocks on the bottom are sometimes
gray, sometimes white.
This gives the marvelous
transparency of the water
a fuller advantage than it
has elsewhere on the lake.
We usually pushed out a
hundred yards or so from
shore, and then lay down
on the thwarts, in the
sun, and let the boat
drift by the hour whither it would. We
seldom talked. It interrupted the Sabbath
stillness, and marred the dreams the luxuri-
ous rest and indolence brought. The shore
all along was indented , with deep, curved bays and coves,
bordered by narrow sand-beaches ; and where the sand ended,
the steep mountain-sides rose right up aloft into space — rose
up like a vast wall a little out of the perpendicular, and
thickly wooded with tall pines.
So singularly clear was the water, that where it was only
twenty or thirty feet deep the bottom was so perfectly distinct
that the boat seemed floating in the air ! Yes, where it was
even eighty feet deep. Every little pebble was distinct, every
speckled trout, every hand's-breadth of sand. Often, as we lay
on our faces, a granite boulder, as large as a village church,
would start out of the bottom apparently, and seem climbing
up rapidly to the surface, till presently it threatened to touch
our faces, and we could not resist the impulse to seize an oar
and avert the danger. But the boat would float on, and the
boulder descend again, and then we could see that when we
AT BUSINESS.
HAPPY INDOLENCE. 175
had been exactly above it, it miist still Lave been twenty or
thirty feet below the surface. Down through the transparency
of these greai depths, the water was not merekf transparent,
but dazzlingly, brilliantly so. All objects seen through it had
a bright, strong vividness, not only of outline, but of every
minute detail, which they would not have had when seen
simply through the same depth of atmosphere. So empty and
airy did all spaces seem below us, and so strong was the sense
of floating high aloft in mid-nothingness, that we called these
boat-excursions " balloon- voyages."
"We fished a good deal, but we did not average one fish a
week. We could see trout by the thousand winging about in
the emptiness under us, or sleeping in shoals on the bottom, but
they would not bite — they could see the line too plainly, per-
haps. We frequently selected the trout we wanted, and rested
the bait patiently and persistently on the end of his nose at a
depth of eighty feet, but he would only shake it off with an
annoyed manner, and shift his position.
We bathed occasionally, but the water was rather chilly, for
all it looked so sunny. Sometimes we rowed out to the " blue
water," a mile or two from shore. It was as dead blue as in-
, digo there, because of the immense depth. By oiSeial measure-
ment the lake in its centre is one thousand five hundred and
twenty-five feet deep !
Sometimes, on lazy afternoons, we lolled on tlie sand in
camp, and smoked pipes and read some old well-worn novels.
At night, by the camp-fire, we played euchre and seven-up to
strengthen the mind — and played them with cards so greasy
and defaced that only a whole summer's acquaintance with
them could enable the student to teU the ace of clubs from the
jack of diamonds.
We never slept in our " house." It never recurred to us,
for one thing ; and besides, it was built to hold the ground,
and that was enough. We did not wish to strain it.
By and by our provisions began to run short, and we
went back to the old camp and laid in a new supply. We
were gone all day, and reached home again about night-fall,
176 A CONFLAGEATION.
pretty tired and hungry. While Johnny was carrying the
main bulk of the provisions up to our "house" for future use,
I took the loaf of bread, some slices of bacon, and the coffee-pot,
ashore, set them down by a tree, lit a fire, and went back to the
boat to get the frying-pan. While I was at this, I heard a
shout from Johnny, and looking up I saw that my fire was
galloping all over the premises !
Johnny was on th6 other side of it. He had to run through
the flames to get to the lake shore, and then we stood helpless
and watched the devastation.
The ground was deeply carpeted with dry pine-needles, and
the fire touched them off as if they were gunpowder. It was
wonderful to see with what fierce speed the tall sheet of flame
traveled! My coffee-pot was gone, and everything with it.
In a minute and a half the fire seized upon a dense growth of
dry manzanita chapparal six or eight feet high, and then the
roaring and popping and crackling was something terrific. We
'VV'ere driven to the boat by the intense heat, and there we re-
mained, spell-bound.
Within half an hour all before us was a tossing, blinding
-tempest of flame ! It went surging up adjacent ridges — sur-
mounted them and disappeared in the canons beyond — burst
into view upon .higher and farther ridges, presently — shed a
grander illumination abroad, and dove again — ^flamed out again,
directly, higher and still higher up the mountain-side — threw
out skirmishing parties of fire here and there, and sent them
trailing their crimson spirals away among remote ramparts
and ribs and gorges, till as far as the eye could reach the lofty
mountain-fronts were webbed as it were with a tangled net-
work of red lava streams. Away across the water the crags
and domes were lit with a ruddy glare, and the firmament above
was a reflected hell !
Every feature of the spectacle was repeated in the glowing
mirror of the lake ! Both pictures were sublime, both were
beautiful ; but that in the lake had a bewildering richness about it
that enchanted the eye and held it with the stronger fascination.
We sat absorbed and motionless through four long hours.
FIRE AT LAKE TAHO E
A STORM ON THE LAKE. 177
We never thought of supper, and never felt fatigue. But at
eleven o'clock the conflagration had traveled beyond our range
of vision, and then darkness stole down upon the landscape
again.
Hunger asserted itself now, but there was nothing to eat.
The' provisions were all cooked, no doubt, but we did not go
to see. We were homeless wanderers again, without any pro-
perty. Our fence was gone, our house burned down ; no in-
surance. Our pine forest was well scorched, the dead trees all
burned up, and our broad acres of manzanita swept away.
Our blankets were on our usual sand-bed, however, and so we
lay down and went to sleep. The next morning we started
back to the old camp, but while out a long way from shore, so
great a storm came up that we dared not try to land. So I
baled out the seas we shipped, and Johnny pulled heavily
through the billows till we had reached a point three or four
miles beyond the camp. The storm was increasing, and it be-
came evident that it was better to take the hazard of beaching
the boat than go down in a hundred fathoms of water ; so we
ran in, with tail white-caps following, and I sat down in the
stem-sheets and pointed her head-on to the shore. The instant
the bow struck, a, wave came over the stern that washed crew
and cargo ashore, and saved a deal of trouble. We shivered
in the lee of a boulder all the rest of the day, and froze all
the night through. In the morning the tempest had gone
down, and we paddled down to the camp without any unneces-
sary delay. We were so starved that we ate up the rest of the
Brigade's provisions, and then set out to Carson to tell them
about it and ask their forgiveness. It was accorded, upon
payment of damages.
We made many trips to the lake after that, and had many
a hair-breadth escape and blood-curdling adventure which, will
never be recorded in any history.
12t
CHAPTER XXIT.
IEES OLVED to have a horse to ride. I had never seen such
wild, free, magnificent horsemanship outside of a circus
as these picturesquely-clad Mexicans, Califomians and Mexi-
canized Americans displayed in Carson sti-eets every day.
How they rode ! Leaning just gently forward out of the per-
pendicular, easy and nonchalant, with broad slouch-hat brim
blown square up in front, and long riata swinging above the
hes^d, they swept through the town like the wind ! The next
minute they were only a sailing puff of dust on the far desert.
If they trotted, they sat up gallantly and. gracefolly, and
seemed part of the horse ; did riot go jiggering up and- down
after the silly Miss-Nancy fashion of the riding-schools. I had
quickly learned to tell a horse from a cow, and was ftdl of
anxiety to learn more. I was resolved to buy a horse.
"While the thought was rankling in my mind, the auctioneer
came skurrying through the plaza on a black beast that had as
many humps and corners on him as a dromedary, and was
necessarily uncomely ; but he was " going, going, at twenty-
two ! — horse, saddle and bridle at twenty-two dollars, gentle^
men ! " and I could liardly resist.
A man whom I did not know (he turned out to be the
auctioneer's brother) noticed the wistful look in my eye, and
observed that that was a very remarkable horse to be going at
such a price ; and added that the saddle alone was worth the
money. It was a Spanish saddle, with ponderous tapidaros,
and furnished with the ungainly sole-leather covering with
A MEXICAN PLUG.
179
the unspelliable nape. I said I had half a notion to bid.
Then this keen-eyed person appeared to me to be " taking my
measure" ; but I dismissed the suspicion when he spoke, for his
manner was full of guileless candor and truthfulness. Said he :
" I know that horse — ^know him well. You are a stranger,
I take it, and so you might think he was an American horse,
'TOn MIGHT THINK HIM AN AMBBICAN HORSE.
maybe, but I assure you he is not. He is nothing of the kind ;
but — excuse, my speaking in a low voice, other people being
near— he is, without the shadow of a doubt, a Genuine Mexu
can Plug ! "
I did not know what a Genuine Mexican Plug was, but
there was something about this man's way of saying it, that
made me swear inwardly that I would own a Genuine Mexi-
can Plug, or die.
"Has he any other — er — advantages?" I inquired, sup-
pressing what eagerness I could.
180
MOST THOEOUGHLT BUCKED.
He hooked his forefinger in the pocket of* my army-shirf^
led me to one side, and breathed in my ear impressively these
words :
" He can out-buck anything in America ! "
" Going, going, going — at twent-ty-iouT dollars and a half,
gen — "
" Twenty-seven ! " I shouted, in a frenzy.
" And sold ! " said the auctioneer, and passed over the
Genuine Mexican Plug to me.
I could scarcely contain my exidtation. I paid the money,
and put the animal in a neighboring, liverj'-stable to dine and
rest himself. '
jt; In the afternoon I brought the creature into the plaza,
and, certain citizens held him by the head, and others by
the tail, while I mounted
him. As soon as they let
go, he placed all his feet
in a bimch together, low-
ered his back, and then
suddenly arched it upward,
and shot me straight iato.
the air a matter of three
or four feet! I came as
straight down again, lit in
Aii"'' 11^^''' ^'H^^^'^'^S) ^13 *^® saddle, went instantly
'•^ ■."''.Bm»/iI^«^^''^^%1^B ^P again, came down al-
most on the high pommel,
shot up again, and came
down on the horse's neck —
all in the, space of three or
four seconds. Then he rose
and stood almost straight
up on his hind feet, and I,
clasping his lean neck des-
perately, slid back into the saddle, and held on. He came
down, and immediately hoisted his heels into the air, .deliver-
ing a vicious kick at the sky, and stood on his forefeet.
iniKXPECTED ELBYATION.
OLD ABE CURRT.
181
And tlien down he came once more, and began the original
exercise of shooting me straight up again. The third time I
went up I heard a stranger say :
" Oh, donH he buck, though ! "
While I was up, somebody struck the horse a sounding
thwack with, a leathern strap, and when I anived again the
Genuine Mexican Plug was not there. A Californian youth
chased him up and caught him, and asked if he might have a
ride. I granted him that luxury. , He mounted the Genuine,
got lifted into the air once,
but sent his spurs home as
he descended, and the horse
darted away like a tele-
gram. He soared over
three fences like a bird,
and disappeared down the
road toward the "Washoe
Valley.
I sat down on a stone,
with a sigh, and by a nat-
ural impulse one of my
hands sought my forehead,
and the other the base of
my stomach. I believe I
never appreciated, till then, the poverty of the human ma-
chinery-:—for I still needed a hand or two to place elsewhere.
Pen cannot describe how I was jolted up. Imagination can-
not conceive how disjointed I was — how internally, externally
and universally I was unsettled, mixed up and ^ptured.
There was a sympathetic crowd around me, though.
One elderly-looking comforter said :
"Stranger, you've been taken in. Everybody in this
camp knows that horse. Any child, any Injun, could have
told you that he'd buck ; he is the very worst devil to buck on
the continent of America. Tou hear me. I'm Curry. Old
Curry. Old Abe Curry. And moreover, he is a simon-pure,
out-and-out, genuine d — d Mexican phig, and an uncommon
CTNITEBSAIXT nHSBTTI/ED.
182
HIDING THE PLUG.
mean one at that, too. Why, you turnip, if yon had laid low
and kept dark, there's chances to buy an Ameriocm horse for
mighty little more than you paid for that bloody old foreign
relic."
I gave no sign ; but I made up my mind that if the
auctioneer's brother's funeral took place while I was in the
Territory I would postpone all other recreations and attend it.
After a gallop of sixteen miles the Califomian youth and
the Genuine Mexican Plug came tearing into town, again,
shedding foam-flakes like the spume-spray that drives before a
typhoon, and, with one final skip over a wheelbarrow and a
Chinaman, cast anchor in front of the " ranch."
Such panting and blowing ! Such spreading and contract^
ing of the red equine nostrils, and glaring of the wild equine
eye! But was the imperial beast stibjugated? Indeed lie
was not.
His lord-
ship the
Speaker of
the House
thought he
was, and
mounted
him to go
down to the
Capitol; but
the first
dash the
creature
made was over a pile of telegraph poles half as high as a
church; and his time to the Capitol— one mile and three
quarters— remains unbeaten to this day. But then he took an
advantage— he left out the mile, and only did the thr^fee quar-
ters. That is to say, he made a straight cut across lots, prefer-
ring fences and ditches to a crooked road; and when the
Speaker got to the Capitol he said he had been in the air so
much he felt as if he had made the trip on a comet.
KIDrNO THE M,UB.
EFFORTS TO BELL.
1S3
In the evening the Speaker came home afoot for exemise,
and got the Genuine towed back behind a quartz wagon.
The next day I loaned the animal to the Clerk of the House
to go down to the Dana silver mine, six miles, and he walked
back for exercise, and
got the horse towed.
Everybody I loaned
him to always walked
back ; they never could
get enough exercise
any other way. Still,
I continued to loan
him to anybody who
was willing to borrow
him, my idea being to
get him crippled, and
throw him on the bor-
rower's hands, or killed,
and make the borrower
pay for him. But some-
how nothing ever hap-
pened to him. He took
chances that no other
horse ever took and
survived, but he always came out safe. It* was his daily
habit to try experiments that had always before been con-
sidered impossible, but he always got tiirough. Sometimes
he miscalculated a little, and did not get his rider through in-
tact, but M always got through himself. Of course I had
tried to sell him ; but that was a stretch of simplicity which
met with little sympathy. The auctioneer stormed up and
down the streets on him for four days, dispersing the populace,
interrupting business, and destroying children, and never got a
bid^at least never any but the eighteen-dollar one he hired
a notoriously substanceless bummer to make. The people
only smiled pleasantly, and restrained their desire to buy, if
they had any. Then the auctioneer brought in his biU, .and I
WASTED EXERCISE.
184 THE ANIMAL DISPOSED OF.
witlidre-w the horse from the market. We tried to trade him
off at private vendue next, offering him at a sacrifice for
second-hand tombstones, old iron, temperance tracts — any
kind of property. But holders were stiff,, and we retired from
the market again. I never tried to ride the horse any more.
Walking was good enough exercise for a man like me, that
had nothing the matter with him except ruptures, internal in-
juries, and such things. Finally I tried to give him away.
But it was a failure. Parties said earthquakes were handy
enough on the Pacific coast — ^they did not wish to own one.
As a last resort I offered him to the Governor for the use of
the "Brigade." His face lit up eagerly at first, but toned
down again, and he said the thing would be too palpable.
Just then the livery stable man brought in his biU for six
'weeks' keeping — stall-room for the horse, fifteen dollars ; hay
,for the horse, two hundred and fifty! The Genuine Mexican
Plug had eaten a ton of the article, and the man said he would
have eaten a hundred if he had let him.
I will remark here, in all seriousness, that the regular price
of hay during that year and a part of the next was really two
hundred and fifty dollars a ton. During a part of the previous
year it had sold at five hundred a ton, in gold, and during the
winter before that there was such scarcity of the article that
in several instances small quantities had brought eight hundred
dollars a ton m coin ! The consequence might be ' guessed
without my telling it: peopled turned their stock loose to
starve, and before the spring arrived Carson and Eagle valleys
were almost literally carpeted with their carcases ! Any old
settler there will verify these statements.
I managed to pay the liveiy bill, and that same day I gave
the Genuine Mexican Plug to a passing Arkansas emigrant
whom fortune delivered into my hand. If this ever meets his
eye, he will doubtless remember the donation.
Now whoever has had the luck to ride a real Mexican plug
will recognize the animal depicted in this chapter, and hardly
consider him exaggerated — but the uninitiated will feel justi-
fied in regarding his portrait as a fancy sketch, perhaps.
OHAPTEE XXY.
ORIGINALLY, Nevada was a part of Utali and was
called Cal'son county ; and a pretty large county it was,
too. Certain of its valleys produced no end of hay, and this
attracted small colonies of Mormon stock-raisers and farmers
toithem. A few orthodox Americans straggled in from Cali-
fornia, but no love was lost between the two classes of colo-
nists. There was little or no friendly intercourse ; each party
staid to itself The Mormons were largely in the majority,
and had the additional advantage of being peculiarly under
the protection of the Mormon government of the Territory.
Therefore they could aiford to be distant, and even peremptory
toward their neighbors. One of the traditions of Carson
Valley illustrates the condition of things that prevailed at the
time I speak of. The hired girl of one of the American
families was Irish, and a Catholic; yet it was noted with sur-
prise that she was the only person outside of the Mormon ring
who could get favors from the Mormons. She asked kind-
nesses of them often, and always got them. It was a mystery
to everybody. But one day as she was passing out at the
door, a large bowie knife dropped from under her apron, and
when her mistress asked for an explanation she observed that
she was going out to " borry a wash-tub from the Mormons ! "
In 1868 silver lodes were discovered in " Carson County,"
and then the aspect of things changed. Californians began to
flock in, and the American element was soon m the majority.
186
"EMIGRANT"' OFFICIALS APPOINTED.
Allegiance to Brigham Young and Utah was renounced, and
a temporary territorial government for "Washoe" was insti-
tuted by the citizens. Governor Eoop was the first and only
chief magistrate of it. In due course of time Congress passed
a bill to organize " Nevada Tenitory," and President Lincoln
sent out Governor Nye to supplant Koop.
At this time the population of the Territory was about
twelve or fifteen thousand, and rapidly increasing. Silver
mines were
being vigor-
ously devel-
oped and
silver mills
erected.
Business of
all kinds was
active and
prosperous
and growing
more so day
by day.
The peo-
ple were glad
to have a le-
gitimately
constituted
government,
but did not
particularly
enjoy having
strangers
from distant
States put in
authority
over them — a sentiment that was natural enough. They thought
the officials should have been chosen from amone themselves
'—from among prominent citizens who had earned a right to
BOBROWnia MADE EAST.
FUNNY STRUGGLES FOR EXISTENCE. 187
such promotion, and wlio would be in sympathy with the
populace and likewise thoroughly acquainted with the needs
of the Territory. They were right in viewing the matter
thus, without doubt. The new officers were "emigrants,"
and that was no title to anybody's affection or admiration
either.
The new government was received with considerable cool-
ness. It was not only a foreign intruder, but a poor one. It
was not even worth plucking — except by the smallest of small
fry office-seekers and such. Everybody knew that Congress
had appropriated only twenty thousand dollars a year in green-
backs for its support— about money enough to run a quartz
mill a month. And everybody knew, also, that the first year's
money was still in Washington, and that the getting hpld of
it would be a tedious and difficult process. Carson City was
too wary and too wise to open up a credit account with the
imported bantHng with anything like indecent haste.
There is something solemnly funny a')out the struggles of
anew-born Territorial government to get a start in this' world.
Ours had a trying time of it. The Organic Act and the
"instructions" from the State Department commanded that a
legislature should be elected at such-and-such a time, and its
sittings inaugurated at such-and-such a date. It was easy to
get legislators, even at three dollars a day, although board was
four dollars and fifty cents, for distinction has its charm in
Neyada as well as elsewhere, and there were plenty' of patriotic
souls out of employment ; but to get a legislative hall for them
to meet in was another matter altogether. Carson blandly
declined to give a room rent-free, or let one to the government
on credit.
But when Curry heard of the difficulty, he cafiie forward,
solitary and alone,' and shouldered the Ship of State over the
bar and got her afloat again. I refer to " Curiy — Old Curry
— Old -45^ Curry." But for him the legislature would have
been obliged to sit in the desert. He offered his large stone
building just outside the capital limits, rent-free, and it was
gladly accepted. Then he built a horse-railroad from town
188
'OLD ABE CURRY" BACKS THE GOVERNMENT.
to ' the capitol, and carried the legislators gratis. He also
furnished pine benches and chairs for the legislature, and
^-^.
FKEE KIDES.
covered the floors with clean saw-dust by way of carpet and
spittoon combined. But for Curry the government would
have died in its tender infancy. A canvas partition to sepa-
rate the Senate from the House of Kepresentatives was put
up by the Secretary, at a cost of three dollars and forty cents,
but the United States dedined to pay for it. Upon being re-
minded that the " instructions " permitted the payment of a
liberal rent for a legislative hall, and that that money was saved
to the country by Mr. Curry's generosity, the United States
said that did not alter the matter, and the three dollars and
forty cents would be subtracted from the Secretary's eighteen
hundred dollar salary — and it was !
The matter of printing was from the beginning an inter-
esting feature of the new government's difficulties. The
Secretary was sworn to obey his volume of written " instruc-
tions,'* and these commanded him to do two certain things
without fail, viz. :
1. Get the House and Senate journals printed ; and,
2. For this M^ork, pay one dollar and fifty cents per
" thousand " for composition, and one dollar and fifty cents
per "token" for press-work, in greenbacks.
It was easy to swear to do these two things, but it was en-
tirely impossible to do more than one of them. "When green-
backs had gone down to forty cents on the dollar, the prices
regularly charged everybody by printing establishments were
one dollar and fifty cents per " thousand " and one dollar and
ECONOMY NOT APPKECIATED. 189
fifty cents per " token," in gold. The " instructions " com-
manded that the Secretary regard a paper dollar issued by the
government as equal to any other dollar issued by the gov-
ernment. Hence the printing of th6 journals was dis-
continued. Then the United States sternly rebuked the
Secretary for disregarding the "instructions," and warned him
to correct his ways. Wherefore he, got some printing done,
forwarded the bill to Washington with full exhibits of the
high prices of things in the Territory, and called attention to
a printed market report wherein it would be observed that
even hay was two hundred and fifty dollars a ton. The
United States responded by subtracting the printing-bill from
the Secretary's suffering salary — and moreover remarked with
dense gravity that he would find nothing in his " instructions "
requiring him to pilrchase hay !
Nothing in this world is palled in such impenetrable
obscurity as a U. S. Treasury Comptroller's understanding.
The very fires of the hereafter could get up nothing more
than a fitful glimmer in it. In the days I speak of he never
could be made to comprehend why it was that twenty
thousand dollars would not go as far in Nevada, where all
commodities ranged at an enormous figure, as it would in the
other Territories, where exceeding cheapness was the rule.
He was an officer who looked out for the little expenses all
the time. The Secretary of the Territory kept his office in
his bedroom, as I before remarked; and he charged the
United States no rent, although his " instructions " provided
for that item and he could have justly taken advantage of it
(a thing which I would have done with more than lightning
promptness if I had been Secretary myself). But the United
States never applauded this devotion. Indeed, I think my
country was ashamed to have so improvident a person in its
employ.
Those "instructions" (we used to read a chapter from
them every morning, as intellectual gymnastics, and a couple
of chapters in Sunday school every Sabbath, for they treated
of all subjects under the sun and had much valuable religious
190 THE SECKETAET'S 8ALAKT SUFFERS.
matter in them along with the other statistics) tliose " instruc-
tions" commanded that pen-knives, envelopes, pens and
writing-paper be furnished the members of the legislature.
So the Secretary made the purchase and the distribution.
The knives cost three dollars apiece. There was one too
many, and the Secretary gave it to the Clerk of the House of
Representatives. The United States said the Clerk of the
.House was not a " member " of the legislature, and took that
three dollars out of the Secretary's salary, as usual.
White men charged three or four dollars a "load" for
sawing, up stove-wood. The Secretary was sagacious enough
to know that the United States would never pay any such
price as that ; so he got an Indian to saw up a load of office
wood at one dollar and a half. He made out the usual
voucher, but signed no name to it — simply appended a note
explaining that an Indian had done the work, and had done
it in a very capable and satisfactory way, but could not sign
the voucher owing to lack of ability in the necessary direc-
tion. The Secretary had to pay that dollar and a half. He
thought the United States would admire both his economy and
his honesty in getting the work done at half price and not
putting a pretended Indian's signature te the voucher, but the
United States did not see it in that light. .The United States
was too much accustomed to employing doUar-and-a-half
SATISFACTORY VOUCHEB.
thieves in all manner of official capacities to regard his expla-
nation of the voucher as having any foundation in fact.
But the next time the Indian sawed wood for us I taught
him to make a cross at the bottom of the voucher — it looked
A COLLECTION OF SOVEBEIGNS.
191
like a cross tliat liad been drunk a year — and then I " wit-
nessed" it and it went through all right. The United States
never said a word. I was sorry I had not made the voucher
for a thousand loads of wood instead of one.
The gpvem-
NEEDS PBATINS POB.
ment of my country snuhs honest simplicity hut fondles
artistic villainy, and I think I might have developed into, a
very capable pickpocket if I had remained in the public,
service a year or two.
That was a fine collection of sovereigns, that first Nevada
legislature. They levied taxes to the amount of thirty or
forty thousand dollars and ordered expenditures to the extent
192
BOADS TO FORTUNE— WELL TOLLED.
of about a million. Yet they had their little periodical explo-
sions of economy like all other bodies of the kind. A mem-
ber proposed to save three dollars a day to the nation by
dispensing with the Chaplain. And yet that short-sighted
man needed the Chaplain more than any other member, per-
haps, for he generally sat with his feet on his desk, eating
^■aw turnips, during the morning prayer.
The legislature sat sixty days, and passed private toll-
road franchises all the time. When they adjourned it waa
estimated that every citizen owned about three franchises,
and it was believed that unless Congress gave the Territory
another degi-ee of longitude there would not be room enough
to accommodate the toll-roads. The ends of them were
hanging over the boundary line everywhere like a fringe.
MAP or TOLL-KOADS.
The fact is, the freighting business had grown to such im-
portant proportions that there was nearly as much excitement
over suddenly acquired toll-road fortunes as over the wonder-
ful silver mines.
CHAPTEE XXYI.
BY and by I was smitten with the silver fever. " Prospect-
ing parties " were leaving for the mountains every day,
and discovering and taking possession of rich silver-bearing
lodes and ledges of quartz. Plainly this was the road to for-
tune. The great " Gould and Curry " mine was held at three
or four hundred dollars a foot when we arrived ; but in two
months it had sprung up to eight hundred. The " Ophir"
had been worth only a mere trifle, a year gone by, and now it
was selling at nearly Jvur thousand dollars afoot! Not a
mine could be named that had not experienced an astonishing
advance in value within a short time. Everybody was talking
about these marvels. Go where you would, you heard nothing
else, from morning till far into the night. Tom So-and-So had
sold out of the "Am^anda Smith" for $40,000— hadn't a cent
when he "took up" the ledge six months ago. John Jones
had sold half his interest in the " Bald Eagle and Mary Ann "
for $65,000, gold coin, and gone to the States for his family.
The widow Brewster had " struck it rich " in the " Golden
Fleece " and sold ten feet for $18,000 — hadn't money enough
to buy a crape bonnet when Sing-Sing Tommy killed her
husband at Baldy Johnson's wake last spring. The " Last
Chance" had found a "clay casing" and knew they were
" right on the ledge " — consequence, " feet " that went begging
yesterday were worth a brick house apiece to-day, and seedy
owners who could not get trusted for a drink at any bar in the
country yesterday were roaring drunk on champagne to-day
13t
194
HO! FOR HUMBOLDT.
and Rough and Eeady " lawsuit.
and had hosts of warm personal friends in a town where they
had forgotten how to bow or shake hands from long-continued
want of practice. Johnny Morgan, a common loafer, had gone
to sleep in the gutter and waked up worth a hundred thousand
dollars, in consequence of the decision in the " Lady Franklin
And so on — day in and day
out the talk
pelted our
ears and the
excitement
waxed hot-
ter and hot-
ter around
us.
I would
have been
more or less
than human
if I had not
gone mad
like the rest.
Cart-loads of
solid silver
bricks, as
UNLOADIua SILVER BRICKS.
large as pigs of lead, were arriving from the mills every day,
and such sights as that gave substance to the wild talk about
me. I succumbed and grew as frenzied as the craziest.
Every few days news would come of the discovery of a
bran-new mining region ; immediately the papers would teem
with accounts of its richness, and away the surplus population
would' scamper to take possession. By the time I was fairly
inoculated with the disease, " Esmeralda " had just had a run
and "Humboldt" was beginning to shriek for attention.
" Humboldt ! Humboldt ! " was the new cry, and straightway
Humboldt, the newest of the new^ the richest of the rich, the
most marvellous of the marvellous discoveries in silver-land,
was occupying two cohimns of the. public prints to "Esipe-
WHAT MADE ME CRAZY. 195
ralda's" one. I was just on the point of starting to Esmeralda,
but turned wltli the tide and got ready for Humboldt. That
the reader may see what moved me, and what would as surely
have moved him had he been therie, I insert here one of the
newspaper letters of the day. It and seveM other letters
from the same calni hand were the main means of converting
me. I shall not garble the extract, but put it in just as it ap-
peared in the Daily Territorial Enterprise :
But what about our mines ? I shall be candid with you. I shall express
an honest opinion, based upon a thorough examination. Humboldt county-
is the richest mineral region upon God's footstool. Each mountain range is
gorged with the precious ores. Humboldt is the true Golconda.
The other day an assay of mere croppings yielded exceeding four
thousand doUarg to the ton. A week or two ago an assay of just such sur-
face developments made returns of seDen thousand dollars to the ton. Our
mountains are full of rambling prospectors. Bach day and almost every
hour reveals new and more startling evidences of the profuse and intensified
wealth of our favored county. The metal is not silver alone. There are
distinct ledges of auriferous ore. A late discovery plainly evinces cinnabar.
The coarser metals are in gross abundance. Lately evidences of bituminous
coal have been detected. My theory has ever been that coal js a ligneous for-
mation. I told Col. Whitman, in times past, that the neighborhood of Dayton
(Nevada) betrayed no present or previous manifestations of a ligneous foun-
dation, and that hence I had no confidence in his lauded coal mines. I
repeated the same doctrine to the exultant coal discoverers of Humboldt. I
talked with my friend Captain Burch on the subject. My pyrhanism van-
ished upon his statement that in the very region referred to he had seen
petrified trees of the length of two hundred feet. Then is the fact estab-
lished that huge forests once cast their grim shadows over this remote
section. I am firm In the coal faith. Have no fears of the mineral resources
of Humboldt county. They are immense — ^incalculable.
Let me state one or two things which will help the reader
to better comprehend certain items in the above. At this
time, our near neighbor. Gold Hill, was the most successful
silver mining locality in Nevada. It was from there that more
than half the daily shipments of silver bricks came. " Yery
rich" (and scarce) Gold Hill ore yielded from $100 to $400
to the ton ; but the usual yield was only $20 to $40 per ton —
that is to say, each hundred pounds of ore yielded from one
dollat to two dollars. But the reader will perceive by the
196
THE FINAL AEGUMENT.
above extract, that in Humboldt from one fourth to nearly
half the mass was silver! That is to say, every one hun-
dred pounds
of the ore had'*
from ^0 hwrtr^
, ol/red dollars
up to about
three hundred
and fifty' in
it. Some days
later this same
correspondent
wrote :
I have Bpoken
of the vast and i
almost fabulous
wealth of this region — ^it i-
The intestines of our m
gorged with precious ore to plethora. I
have said that nature has so shaped our
mountains as to furnish most excellent
facilities for the working of our mines.
I have also told you that the country
about here is pregnant with the finest
mill sites in the world. But what is the
mining history of Humboldt ? The Sheba
mine is in the hands of energetic San
Francisco capitalists. It would seem that
the ore is combined with metals that ren-
der it difficult of reduction with our im- '^^w ™ humboldt MocuTAnra.
perfect mountain machinery. The proprietors have combined the capital
and labor hinted at in my exordium. They are toiling and probing. Their
tunnel has reached the length of one hundred feet. From primal assays
alone, coupled with the development of the mine and public confidence in
the continuance of effort, the stock had reared itself to eight hundred dollars
market value. I do not know that one ton of the ore has been converted
into current metal. I do know that there are many lodes in this section
that surpass the Sheba in primal assay value. Listen a moment to the cal-
culations of the Sheba operators. They purpose transporting the ore con-
centrated to Europe. The conveyance from Star City (its locality) to Virginia
City will cost seventy dollars per ton ; from Virginia to San Francisco, forty
dollars per ton ; from thence to Liverpool, its destination, ten dollars per ton.
Their idea ia that its conglomerate metals will reimburse them their cost of
DECIDED TO GO. 197
original extraction, the price of transportation, and the expense of reduction,
and that then a ton of the raw ore will net them twelve hundred dollars.
The estimate may be extravagant. Cut it in twain, and theproduct is enor-
mous, far transcending any previous developments of our racy Territory.
A very common calculation is that many of our mines .will yield five
hundred dollars to the ton. Such fecundity throws the ffloula*& Curry, the
Ophir and the Mexican, of your neighborhood, in the darkest shadow. I
have given you the estimate of the value o( a single developed mine. Its
richness is Indexed by its market valuation. The people of Humboldt
county aiefeet crazy. As I write, our towns are near deserted. They look
as languid as a consumptive girL What has become of our sinewy and
athletic fellow-citizens? They are coursing through ravines and over
mountain tops. Their tracks are visible in every direction. Occasionally a
horseman will dash among us. His steed betrays hard usage. He alights
before his adobe dwelling, hastily exchanges courtesies with his townsmen,
hurries to an assay office and from thence to the District Recorder's. In the
morning, having renewed bis provisional supplies, he is off again on his
wild and unbeaten route. Why, the fellow numbers already his feet by the
thousands. He is the horse-leech. He has the craving stomach of the
shark or anaconda. He would conqner metallic worlds.
This was enough. The instant we had finished reading
the above article, four of us decided to go to Humboldt. We
commenced getting ready at once. And we also commenced
upbraiding ourselves for not deciding sooner — for we were in
terror lest all the rich mines would be found and secured
before we got there, and we might have to put up with ledges
that would not yield more than two or three hundred dollars
a ton, maybe. An hour before, I would have felt opulent if
I had owned ten feet in a Gold Hill mine whose ore produced
twenty-five dollars to the ton ; now I was already annoyed at
the prospect of having to put up with mines the poorest of
which woidd be a marvel in Gold Hill.
CHAPTEB XXYII.
HUKEY, was the word I "We wasted no time. Our
party consisted of four persons — a blacksmith sixty
years of age, two young lawyers, and myself. "We bought a
wagon and two miserable old horses. We put eighteen
'hundred pounds of provisions and mining tools in the wagon
and drove out of Carson on a chilly December afternoon.
The horses were so weak and old that we soon found that it
would be better if one or two of us got out and walked. It
was an improvement. Next, we found that it would be better
if a third man got out. That was an improvement also. It
was at this time that I volunteered to drive, although I had
never driven a harnessed horse before and many a man in
such a position would have felt fairly excused from such a
responsibility. But in a little while it was found that it
would be a fine thing if the driver got out and walked also.
It was at this time that I resigned the position of driver, and
never resumed it again. "Within the hour, we found that it
would not only be better, but was absolutely necessary, that
we four, taking turns, two at a time, should put our hands
against the end of the wagon and push it through the sand,
leaving the feeble horses little to do but keep out of the way
and hold up the tongue. Perhaps it is well for one to know
his fate at first, and get reconciled to it. We had learned
ours in one afternoon. It was plain that we had to walk
through the sand and shove that wagon and those horses two
hundred miles. So we accepted the situation, and from that
time forth we never rode. More than that, we stood regular
and nearly constant watches pushing up behind.
HOW WE CONVEYED OURSELVES AND TEAM. 199
We made seven miles, and camped in tlie desert. Young
Clagett (now member of Congress from Montana) unharnessed
and fed and watered the horses ; Oliphant and I cut sage-
brush, built the fire and brought water to cook with ; and old
Mr. Ballou the. blacksmith did the cooking. This division of
labor, and this appointment, was adhered to throughout the
journey. We had no tent, and so we slept under our blankets
in the open plain. We were so tired that we slept soundly.
We were fifteen days making the trip — two hundi-ed
miles ; thirteen, rather, for we lay by a couple of days, in one
GOING TO HUMBOLDT.
place, to let the horses rest. We could really have accom-
plished the journey in ten days if we had towed the horses
behind the wagon, but we did not think of that until it was
too late, and so went on shoving the horees and the wagon too
when we might have saved half the labor. Parties who met
us, occasionally, advised us to put the horses in the wagon,
but Mr. Ballou, through whose iron-clad earnestness no sar-
casm could pierce, said that that would not do, because the
provisions were exposed and would suffer, the horses being
" bituminous from long deprivation." The reader will excuse
me from translating.. What Mr. Ballou customarily meant,
when he used a long word, was a secret between himself and
his Maker. He. was one of the best and kindest hearted men
that ever graced a humble sphere of life. He was gentleness
200 MR. BALLOU COMPLAINS OF HIS BEDFELLOW.
Rnd simplicity itself — and unselfishness, too. Although he was
snore than twice as old as the eldest of us, he never gave him-
6elf any airs, privileges, or exemptions on that account. He did
a young man's share of the work ; and did his share of convers-
ing and entertaining from the general stand-point of any age —
not from the arrogant, overawing summit-height of sixty years.
His one striking. peculiarity was his Partingtonian fashion of
loving and using big words for their own sokes, and inde-
pendent of any bearing they, might have, upon the thought he
was purposing to convey. He always let his ponderous syll*-
blea fall with an easy unconsciousness that left them wholly
without ofiiensiveness. In truth his air was so natural and so
simple that one was always catching himself accepting his
stately sentences as meaning something, when -they really
meant nothing in the world. If a word was long and grand
a,nd resonant, that was suflScient to win the old man's love,
and he would drop that wbrd into the most out-of-the-way
place in a sentence or a subject, and be as pleased with it as
if it were perfectly luminous with meaning.
We four always spread our common stock of blankets
together on the frozen ground, and slept side by side ; and
finding that our foolish, long-legged hound pup had a deal of
animal heat in him, Oliphant got to admitting him to the bed,
between himself and Mr. , BaUou, hugging the dog's warm
back to his breast and finding great comfort in it. But in the
night the pup would get stretchy and brace his feet against the
old man's back and shove, grunting complacently the whUe ;
and now and then, being warm and snug, grateful and happy,
he would paw the old man's back simply in excess of comfort ;
and at yet other times he would dream of the chase and in
his sleep tug at the old man's back hair and bark in his ear.
The old gentleman complained mildly about these femiliarities,
at last, and when he got through with his statement he said
that such a dog as that was not a proper animal to admit to bed
with tired men, because he was " so meretricious in his move-
ments and so organic in his emotions." "We turned the dog out.
It was a hard, wearing, toilsome journey, but it had its
PLEASURES OF CAMP LIFE.
201
bright side; for after each ^ay was done and our wolfish
hunger appeased with a hot supper of fried bacon, bread, mo-
'^*^i.
BAXXOU'S BEDFELLOW.
lasses and black cofiee, the pipe-smoking, song-singing and
yam-spinning around the evening camp-fire in the still soli-
tudes of the desert was a happy, care-free sort of recreation
that seemed the very summit and culmination of earthly
luxury. It is a kind of life that h^ a potent charm for all
men, whether city or country-bred. We are descended from
desert-lounging Arabs, and countless ages of growth toward
perfect civilization have failed to root out of us the nomadic
instinct. "We all confess to a gratified thrill at the thought of
" camping out."
Once we made twenty-five miles in a day, and once we
made forty miles (through the Great American Desert), and
ten miles beyond— fifty in all — in twenty-three hours, without
halting to eat, drink or rest. To stretch out and go to sleep,
even on stony and frozen ground, after pushing a .wagon and
two horses fifty miles, is a delight so supreme that for the
moment it almost seems cheap at the price.
"We camped two days in the neighborhood of the " Sink
of the Humboldt." "We tried to use the strong alkaline water
of the Sink, but it would not answer. It was like drinking
lye, and not weak lye, either. It left a taste in the mouth,
202
ALKALI WATER AS A BEVERAGE.
bitter and every way execrable, and a burning in the sfomach
that was very unoomfortable. We put molasses in it, but that
helped it very little ;. we added a pickle, yet the alkali was the
prominent taste, and so it was unfit for drinking. The cofl'ee
■if ' ■^'T.-v'- , ^'y^J'
PLEASUBBS OF CAMPING OUT.
we made of this water was
the meanest compound man'
has yet invented. It was
really viler to the taste than
the unameliorated water it-
self Mr. Ballon, being the
architect and builder of the
beverage felt constrained to endorse and uphold it, and so
drank half a cup, by little sips, making shift to praise it faintly
the while, but finally threw out the remainder, and said frankly
it was " too technical for him."
But presently we found a spring of fresh water, conve-
nient, and then, with nothing to mar our enjoyment, and no
Stragglers to interrupt it, we entered into our rest.
CHAPTEE XXYIII.
AFTEE leaving the Sink, we traveled along the Humboldt
river a little way. People accustomed to the monster
mile-wide Mississippi, grow accustomed to associating the
term "river" with a high degree of watery grandeur.
Consequently, such people feel rather disappointed when they
stand on the shores of the Humboldt or the Carson and find
that a "river" in Nevada is a sickly rivulet which is just
the counterpart of the Erie caaial in all respects save that
the canal is twice as long and foxir times as deep. One of
the pleasantest and most invigorating exercises one can con-
trive is to run and jump across the Humboldt river till he is
overheated, and then drink it dry.
On the fifteenth day we completed our march of two
hundred miles and entered Unionville, Humboldt county, in
the midst of a driving snow-storm. Unionville consisted
of eleven cabins and a liberty-pole. Six of the cabins were
strung along one side of a deep canyon, and the other five
faced them. The rest of the landscape was made up of bleak
mountain walls that rose so high into the sky from both
sides of the canyon that the village was left, as it were, far
down in the bottom of a crevice. It was always daylight on
the mountain tops a long time before the darkness lifted and
revealed Unionville.
We built a small, rude cabin in the side of the crevice and
roofed it with canvas, leaving a comer open to serve as a
chimney, through which the cattle used to tumble occasionally,
204 A PRIVATE PROSPECTING TOUR.
at night, and mash our furniture and interrupt our sleep. It
was very cold weather and fuel was scarce. Indians brought
brush and bushes several miles on their backs ; and when we
could catch a laden Indian it was well — ^and when we could
not (which was the rule, not the exception), we shivered and
bore it.
I confess, without shame, that I expected, to find masses
of silver lying all about the ground. I expected to see it
glittering in the sun on the mountain summits. I said
nothing about this, for some instinct told me that I
might possibly, have an exaggerated idea about it, and so
if I betrayed my thought I might bring derision upon
myself. Tet I was as perfectly satisfied in my own mind
as I could be of anything, that I was going to gather up, in
a day or two, or at furthest a week or two, silver enough
to make me satisfactorily wealthy — ^and so my fancy was
alreatty busy with plans for spending this money. The first
opportunity that offered, I sauntered carelessly away from the
cabin, keeping an eye on the other boys, and stopping and
contemplating the sky when they seemed to be observing me ;
but as soon as the coast was manifestly clear, I fied away as
guiltily as a thief might have done and never halted till I was
ikr beyond sight and call. Then I began my search with
a feverish excitement that was brimful of expectation — almost
of certainty. I crawled about the ground, seizing and ex-
amining bits of stone, blowing the dust from them or rubbing
them on my clothes, and then peering at them with anxious
hope. Presently 1 found a bright fragment and my heart
bounded ! I hid behind a boulder and polished it and scruti-
nized it with a nervous eagerness and a delight that was more
pronounced than absolute certainty itself could have afforded.
The more I examined the fragment the more I was convinced
that I had found the door to fortune. I marked the spot and
carried away my specimen. Up and down the rugged moun-
tain side I searched, with always increasing interest and
always augmenting gratitude that I had come to Humboldt
and come in time. Of aU the experiences of my life, this
FINDING MY FIKST GOLD MINE.
205
secret search among the hidden' treasures of silver-land was
the nearest to unmarred ecstasy. It was a delirious revel.
By and by, in the bed of a shallow rivulet, I found a de-
posit of shining
yellow scalefi,and
my breath almost
forsook me! A
gold mine, and
in my simplicity
I had been con-
tent with vulgar
silver ! I was so
excited that I
half believed my
overwrought im-
agination was de-
ceiving me. Then
a fear came upon
me that people
might be observ-
ing meand would
guess my secret.
Moved by this thought, I made a circuit of the place, and
ascended a knoll to reconnoiter. Solitude. No creature was
near. Then I returned to my mine, fortifying myself against
possible disappointment, but my fears were groundless — the
shining scales were still there. I set about scooping them out,
and for an hour I toiled down the windings of the stream
and robbed its bed. But at last the descending sun warned
me to give up the quest, and I turned homeward laden with
wealth. As I walked along I could not help smiling at the
thought of my being so excited over my fragment of silver
when a nobler metal was almost under my nose. In this little
time the former had so fallen in my estimation that once or
twice I was on the point of throwing it away.
The boys were as hungry as usual, but I could eat nothing.
Neither could I talk. I was full of dreams and far away.
THE eSCRET SEABCH.
20G FILTEBING THE NEWS TO MT COMPANIONS.
Tlieir conversation interrupted the flow of my fancy some-
what, and annoyed me a little, too. I despised the sordid and
commonplace things they talked about. But as they proceeded,
it began to amuse me. It grew to be rare fun to hear them
planning their poor little economies and sighing over possible
privations and distresses when a gold mine, all our own, lay
within sight of the cabin and I could point it out at any,
moment. Smothered hilarity began to oppress me, presently.
It was hard to resist the impulse to burs't out with exultation
and reveal everything; but I did resist. I said within myself
that I would filter the great news through my lips calmly and
be serene as a summer morning while I watched its effect ia
their faces. I said :
" Where have you all been ? "
" Prospecting."
"What did you find?"
"Nothing."
" IS'othing ? What dp you think of the country ? "
"Can't tell, yet," said Mr. Ballon, who was an old gold
miner, and had likewise had considerable experience among
the silver mines.
" Well, haven't you formed any sort of opinion ? "
"Yes, a sort of a one. It's faiV enough here, may be, but
overrate4. Seven thousand dollar ledges are scarce, though.
That Sheba may be rich enough, but we don't own it ; and
besides, the rock is so full of base metals that all the science
in the world can't work it. We'll not starve, here, but we'll
not get rich, I'm afraid."
" So you think the prospect is pretty poor 1 "
" No name for it ! "
" Well, we'd better go back, hadn't we ? "
" Oh, not yet — of course not. We'll try it a riffle, flrst."
" Suppose, now — this is merely a supposition, you know —
suppose you could find a ledge that would yield, say, a
hundred and fifty dollars a ton — would that satisfy you ? "
" Try us once ! " from the whole party.
" Or suppose — ^merely a supposition, of course — suppose
BALLOU BECOMES EXCITED.
201
you were to find a ledge that ■would yield two thoiisand
dollars a ton — would that satisfy you ? "
" Here — what do you mean ? What are you coming at 1
Is there some mystery behind all'this ? "
"Never mind. I am not saying anything. You know
perfectly well there are no rich mines here — of course you do.
Because you have been around and examined for yourselyes.
Anybody would know that, that had been around. But
just for the sake of ai'gument, suppose — in a kind of general
way — suppose some person were to teU you that two-thousand-
dollar ledges were simply contemptible — contemp'tible, under-
stand— and that right yonder in sight of this very cabin there
were piles of pure gold and pure silver — oceans of it — enough
to make you all rich in twenty-four hours ! Come ! "
" CAST TOUB BTB ON THAT ! "
" I should say he was as crazy as a loon ! " said old Ballon,
but wild with excitement, nevertheless.
"Gentlemen," said I, "I don't say anything — /haven't
208 PRICKING THE BUBBLE.
been around, yoii know, and of course don't know anything —
but all I ask of you is to cast your eye on that, for instance,
and tell me what you think of it ! " and I tossed my treasure
before them.
There was an eager scramble for it, and a closing of heads
together over it under the candle-light. Then old Ballou
said:
" Think of it ? I think it is nothing but a lot of granite
rubbish and nasty glittering mica that isn't worth ten cents
an acre ! "
So vanished my dream. So melted my wealth away. So
toppled my airy castle to the earth and left me stricken and
forlorn.
Moralizing, I observed, then, that " all that glitters is not
gold."
Mr. Ballou said I could g6 further than that, and lay it
up among my treasures of knowledge, that nothing that glit-
ters is gold. So I learned then, once for all, that gold in its
native state is but dull, unornamental stuff, and that only low-
born metals excite the admiration of the ignorant with an
ostentatious glitter. However, like the rest of the world, I
still go on underrating men of gold and glorifying men of
mica. Commonplace human nature cannot rise above that.
CHAPTEH XXIX.
TETJE knowledge of the natiire of silver mining came fast
enough. We went ont " prospecting " with Mr. Ballon.
We climbed the mountain sides, and clambered among sage-
brush, rocks and snow till we were ready to drop with exhaus-
tion, but found no silver — nor yet any gold. Day after day we
did this. Now and then we came upon holes burrowed a few
feet into the declivities and apparently abandoned ; and now
and then we found one or two listless men still burrowing.
But there was no appearance of silver. These holes were the
beginnings of tunnels, and the purpose was to drive them hun-
dreds of feet into the mountain, and some day tap the hidden
ledge where the silver was. Some day ! It seemed far enough
away, and very hopeless and dreaiy. Day after day we toiled,
and climbed and searched, and we younger partners grew
sicker and still sicker of the promiseless toil. At last we
halted under a beetling rampart of rock which projected from
the earth high upon the mountain. Mr. Ballou broke off some
fragments with a hammer, and examined them long and atten-
tively with, a small eye-glass ; threw them away and broke off
more ; said this rock was quartz, and quartz was the sort of
rock that contained silver. Contavned it! I had thought
that at least it would be caked on the outside of it like a kind
of veneering. He still broke off pieces and critically examined
them, now and then wetting the piece with his tongue and
applying the glass. At last he exclaimed :
14t
210
MR. BALLOU'S DISCOVEKY.
"We've got it!"
"We were full of aiuciety in a moment. The rock was
dean and white, where it was broken, and across it ran a
ragged thread of blue. He said that that little thread had
silver in it,mixed
with base metals,
such as lead and
antimony, and
other rubbish,
and that there
was a speck or
two of gold visi-
ble. After a.
great deal of ef-
fort we managed
to discern some
little fine yellow
specks, and
judged that a
couple of tons
of them massed
together might
make a gold
dollar, possibly.
We were not ju-
bilant, but Mr.
Ballon said there
were worse ledg-
es in the world
than that. He saved what he called the " richest " piece of
the rock, in order to determine its value by the process called
the "fire-assay." Then we named the mjne "Monarch of
the Mountains" (modesty of nonaenclature is not a prominent
feature in the mines), and Mr. Balloii wrote out and stuck up
the following " notice," preserving a copy to be entered upon
the books in the mining recorder's ofiice in the. town.
' we've got it ! '
A SILVEE MINE AT LAST. 211
" NOTICE."
" We tlie undersigned claim three claims, of three hundred feet each
[and one for discovery), on this silver-bearing quartz lead or lode, extending
north and south from this notice, with all its dips, sjiiirs, and angles, varia-
tions and sinuosities, together with fifty feet of ground on either side for
working the same."
We put our names to it and tried to feel that our fortunes were
made. But when we talked the matter all over with Mr. Ballou,
we felt depressed and dubious. He said that this surface quartz
was not all there was of our mine ; but that the wall or ledge of
rock called the " Monarch of the Mountains," extended down
hundreds and hundreds of feet into the earth — ^he illustrated by
saying it was like a curb-stone, and maintained a nearly uniibrm
thickness — say twenty feet — 'aw'ay down into the bowels of the
earth, and was perfectly distinct from the casing rock on each
side of it ; and that it kept to itself, and maintained its distinct-
ive character always, no matter how deep it extended into the
earth or how far it stretched itself tlirough and across the hills
and valleys. He said it might be a mile deep and ten miles long,
for all we knew ; and that wherever we bored into it above
ground or below, we would find gold and silver in it, but no
gold or silver in the meaner rocji it was cased between. And
he said that down in the great depths of the ledge was its rich-
ness, and the deeper it went the richer it grew. 'Therefore,
instead of working here on tlie surface, we must either bore
down into the rock with a shaft till we came to where it was
rich — say a hundred feet or so — or else we must go down into
the valley and bore a long tunnel into the ^mountain side and
tap the ledge far under the earth. To do either was plainly
the labor of months ; for we could blast and bore only a few
feet a day — some five or six. But this was not all. He said
that after we got the ore out it must be hauled in wagons to a
distant silver-mill, ground up, and the silver extracted by a
tedious and costly process. Our fortune seemed a century
away !
But we went to work. We decided to sink a shaft. So,
for a week wc climbed the mountain, laden with picks, drills,
212
ON THE ROAD TO FORTUNE.
gads, crowbars, shovels, cans of blasting powder and coils of
fuse and strove with might and main. At first the rock was
broken and loose and we dug it up with picks and threw it out
with shovels, and the hole progressed very well. But the rock
became more compact, presently, and gads and crowbars came
into play. But shortly nothing could make an impression but
blasting powder. That was the weariest work ! One of ns
held the iron drill in its place and another would strike with
an eight-pound sledge — it was like driving nails on a large
scale. In the course of an hour or two the drill would reach
^;
\
r
^ .._ %'
wi'*^
INCIPIENT MILLIONAIRES.
a depth of two or three feet, making a hole a couple of
inches in diameter. We would put in a charge of powder, in-
WE FIND IT HARD TO TRAVEL. 213
sert Half a yard of fuse, poiir in sand and gravel and ram it
down, then light the fuse and run. When the explosion came
and the rocks and smoke shot into the air, we would go back
and find about a bushel of that hard, rebellious quartz jolted
out. Nothing more. One week of this satisfied me. I re-
signed. Clagget and Oliphant followed. Our shaft was only
twelve feet deep. We decided that a tunnel was the thing
we wanted.
So we went down the moimtain side and worked a week ;
at the end of which time we had blasted a tunnel about deep
enough to hide a hogshead in, and judged that about nine
hundred feet more of it would reach the ledge. I resigned
again, and the other boys only held out one day longer. We
decided that a tunnel was not what we wanted. We wanted
a ledge that was abeady " developed." There were none in
the camp.
We dropped the "Monarch" for the time being.
Meantime the camp was filling up with people, and there
was a constantly growing excitement about our Humboldt
mines. We fell victims to the epidemic and strainec^ every
nerve to acquire more " feet." We prospected and took up
new claims, put " notices " on them and gave them grandiloquent
names. We traded some of our " feet " for " feet " in other
people's claims. In a little while we owned largely in the
" Gray Eagle," the "Columbiana," the "Branch Mint," the
" Maria Jane," the " Universe," the " Eoot-Hog-or-Die," the
" Samson and Delilah," the " Treasure Trove," the " Golconda,"
the "Sultana," the "Boomerang," the "Great Eepublic," the
" Grand Mogul," and fifty other " mines " that had never been
molested by a shovel or scratched with a pick. We had not less
than thirty thousand "feet" apiece in the "richest mines on
earth " as the frenzied cant phrased it — and were in debt to
the butcher. We were stark mad with excitement — drimk
with happiness — smothered under mountains of prospective
wealth — arrogantly compassionate toward the plodding millions
who knew not our marvellous canyon — but our credit was not
good at the grocer's.
214
POCKETS FULL OF ROCKS.
It was tlie strangest phase of life one can imagine. It was
a beggars' revel. There was nothing doing in the district —
no mining — no milling — no productive effort-r-no income —
.and not qnoiigh money in the entire camp to buy a corner
lot in an eastern village, hardly ; and yet a stranger would
have supposed he was walking among bloated millionaires.
Prospecting parties swarmed out of town with the first flush
of dawn, and swarmed in again at nightfall laden with spoil —
rocks. Nothing but rocks. Every man's pockets were full of
them ; the floor of his cabin was littered with them ; they
were disposed in labeled rows on his shelves.
CHAPTEE XXX.
I MET men at every turn who owned from one thousand to
thirty thousand "feet" in undeveloped silver mines,
every single foot of which they believed would shortly be
worth from fifty to a thousand dollars — and as often as any
other way they were men who had not twenty-five dollars in
the world. Every man you met had his new mine to boast
of, and his " specimens " ready ; and if the opportunity offered,
he would infallibly back you into a corner and offer as a fevor
to yoM, not to him, to part with just a few feet in the " Golden
Age," or the "-Sarah Jane," or some other unknown stack of
croppings, for money enough to get a " square meal " with, as
the phrase went. And you were never to reveal that he had
made you the offer at such a ruinous price, for it was only out
of friendship for you that he was willing to make the sacrifice.
Then he would fish a piece of rock out of his pocket, and
after looking mysteriously around as if he feared he might be
waylaid and robbed if caught with such wealth in his posses-
sion, he would dab the rock against his tongue, clap an eye-
glass to it, and exclaim :
" Look at that ! Eight there in that red dirt ! See it ?
See the specks of gold ? And the streak of silver ? That's
from the ' Uncle Abe.' There's a hundred thousand tons like
that in sight ! Eight in sight, mind you ! And when we get
down on it and the ledge comes in solid, it will be the richest
thing in the world ! Look at the assay ! I don't want you to
believe me — ^look at the assay ! "
216
HOW "FEET" WEEE SOLD.
Then he would get out a greasy sheet of paper which
showed that the portion of rock assayed had given evidence
of containing sUver and gold in the proportion of so many
hundreds or
thousands of dol-
lars to the ton.
I little knew,
then, that the
custom was to
hunt out the
richest piece of
rock and get it
assayed! Very
often, that piece,
the size of a fil-
bert, was the only
fragment in a ton
that had a particle
of metal in it —
and yet the assay
made it pretend
to represent the
average value of
the ton of rub-
bish it came from !
On such a system of assaying as that, the Humboldt
world had gone crazy. On the authority of such assays its
newspaper correspondents were frothing about rock worth
four and seven thousand dollars a ton !
And does the reader remember, a few pages back, the cal-
culations, of a quoted correspondent, whereby the ore is to be
mined and shipped all the way to England, the metals ex-
tracted, and the go^d and silver contents received back by the
miners as clear profit, the copper, antimony and other things
in the ore being suificient to pay all the expenses incurred?^
Everybody's head was full of such "calculations" as those —
such raving insanity, rather. Few people took worh into their
" DO YOU SEE IT ? "
A PILGRIMAGE TO ESMERALDA. 217
calculations — or outlay of money either; except the work
and expenditures of other people.
We never touched our tunnel or our shaft again. Why ?
Because we judged that we had learned the real secret of
success in silver mining — which was, not to mine the silver
ourselves by the sweat of our brows and the labor of our hands,
but to sell the ledges to the dull slaves of toil and let them do
the mining !
Before leaving Carson, the Secretary and I had 'purchased
"feet" from various Esmeralda stragglers. We had expected
immediate returns of bullion, but were only afflicted with
regular and constant "assessments" instead — demands for
money wherewith to develop the said mines. These assess-
ments had grown so oppressive that it seemed necessary to
look into the matter personally. Therefore I projected a' pil-
grimage to Carson and thence to Esmeralda. I bought a
horse and started, in company with Mr. Ballon and a gentle-
man named Ollendorff, a Prussian — not the party who has
inflicted so much suffering on the world with his wretched
foreign grammars, with their interminable repetitions of ques-
tions which never have occurred and are never likely to occur
in any conversation among himian beings. We rode through
a snow-storm for two or three days, and arrived at " Honey
Lake Smith's," a sort of isolated inn on the Carson river. It
was a two-story log house situated on a small knoll in the
midst of the vast basin or desert through which the sickly
Carson winds its melancholy way. Close to the house were
the Overland stage stables, built of sun-dried bricks. There
was not another building within several leagues of the place.
Towards sunset about twenty hay-wagons arrived and camped
around the house and all the teamsters came in to supper — ^a
very, very rough set. There were one or two Overland stage
drivers there, also, and half a dozen vagabonds and stragglers ;
consequently the house was well crowded.
We walked out, after supper, and visited a small Indian
camp in the vicinity. The Indians were in a great hurry
abopt something, and were packing up and getting away as
218
AN INDIAN PEOPHEST.
fast as they could. In their brokeq English they said, " By'm-
by, heap water ! " and by the help of signs made us under-
stand that in their opinion a flopd was coming. The Tveather
was perfectly clear, and this was not the rainy season. There
was about a foot of water in the insignificant river — or maybe
two feet ; the stream was not wider than a back alley in a
village, and its
banks were
scarcely higher
than a , man's
head. So, where
was the flood
to come from?
"We canvassed
the subject a-
while and then
concluded it
was a ruse, and
PABEWELL SWEET BIVEK.
that the Indians
had some better reason for leaving in a hurry than fears of a
flood in such an exceedingly dry time.
At seven in the evening we went to bed in the second
story — with our clothes on, as usual, and all three in the same
bed, for every available space on the floors, chairs, etc., was in
request, and even then there was barely room for the housing
of the inn's guests. An hour later we were awakened by a
great turmoil, and springing out of bed we picked our way
nimbly among the ranks 6f snoring teamsters on the floor and
got to the front windows of the long room. A glance revealed
a strange spectacle, under the moonlight. The crooked Carson
was full to the brim, and its waters were raging and foaming
in the wildest way — sweeping around the sharp bends at a
furious speed, and bearing on their surface a chaos of logs,
brush and all sorts of rubbish. A depression, where its bed
had once been, in other times, was already filling, and in
one or two places the water was beginning to wash over the
main bank. Men were flying hither and thither, bringing
UNEXPECTED RISE OF WATER.
219
cattle and wagons close up to the house, for the spot of high
ground on which it stood extended only some thirty feet in
front and about a hundred in the rear. Close to the old river
bed just spoken of, stood a little log stable, and in this our
1 'p t *
T^^
1.
I I \ \\ i
I t
|i I I I
I I II t
I tl I II }
1 I I III
bUcroauhiug sLeaJil}' ou
the logs. "We suddenly
realized that this flood
was not a mere holiday spectacle, but nieant damage — and not
only to the small log stable but to the Overland buildings
close to the main river, for the waves had now come ashore
and were creeping about the foundations and invading the
THE BESCUE.
220 OUR QUARTERS AFTER THE FLOOD.
great hay-corral adjoining. "We ran down and joined the
.crowd of excited men and frightened animals. "We waded
knee-deep into the log stable, unfastened the horses and
waded out almost waisi-desTp, so fast the waters increased.
Then the crowd rushed in a body to thevhay-corral and began
to tumble down the huge stacks of baled hay and roll the
bales up on the high ground by the house. Meantime it was
discovered that Owens, an overland driver, was missing, and a
man ran to 'the large stable, and wading in, boot-top deep,
discovered him asleep in his bed, awoke him, and waded out
again. But Owens was drowsy and resumed his nap ; but
only for a minute or two, for presently he turned in his bed,
his hand dropped over the side and came in contact with the
cold water ! It was up level with the mattrass ! He waded
'out, breast-deep, almost, and the next moment the sun-burned
bricks melted down like sugar and the big building crumbled'
to a ruin and was washed away in a twinkling.
At eleven o'clock only the roof of the little log stable was
out of water, and our inn was on an island in mid-ocean. As
far as the eye could reach, in the moonlight, there was no
desert visible, but only a level waste of shining water. The
Indians were true prophets, but how did they get their in-
formation ? I am not able to answer the question.
"We remained cooped up eight days and nights with that
curious crew. Swearing, drinking and card playing were the
order of the day, and occasionally a fight was thrown in for
variety. Dirt and vermin — ^but let us forget those features ;
their profusion is simply inconceivable — ^it is better that they
remain so. .^
There were two men — ^however, this chapter is Icmg enoygh.
CHAPTER XXXI.
THERE were two men in the company who caused me partic-
ular discomfort. One was a little Swede, about twenty-five
years old, who knew only one song, and he was forever singing
it. By day we were all crowded into one small, stifling bar-
room, and so there was no escaping this person's music. Through
all the profanity, whisky-guzzling, " old sledge " and quarrel-
ing, his monotonous song meandered with never a variation in
its tiresome sameness, and it seemed to me, at last, that I
would be content to die, in order to be rid of the torture. The
other man was a stalwart ruffian called " Arkansas," who car-
ried two revolvers i|i.Jiis belt and a bowie knife projecting from
his boot, and who was always drunk and always suffering for
a fight. But he was so feared, that nobody would aecoriimo-
date him. He would try all manner of little wary ruses
to entrap somebody into an ofiensive remark, and his face
would light up now and then when he fancied he was fairly
on the scent of a fight, but invariably his victim would elude
his toils and then he would show a disappointment thaJ^ was
almost pathetic. The landlord, Johnson, was a meek, well-
meaning fellow, and Arkansas fastened on him early, as a
promising subject, and gave him no rest day or night, for
awhile. On the fourth morning, Arkansas got drunk and sat
himself down to wait for an opportunity. Presently Johnson
came in, just comfortably sociable with whisky, and said :
" I reckon the Pennsylvania 'lection — "
'^ Arkansas raised his finger impressively and Johnson stopped.
Arkansas rose unsteadily and confronted him. Said he :
222
NEW CHAKACTER8.
" "Wha-what do you know a-about Pennsylvania ? Answer
me that. Wha-what do you know 'boiit Pennsylvania?"
" I was only goin' to say — "
" You was only goin' to say. You was ! You was only
goin' to say — what was you goin' to say ? That's it ! That's
what / want to know. / want to know wha-what you ('^c)
what you know about Pennsyl-
vania, since you're makin' your-
self so d — d free. Answer me
that!"
" Mr. Arkansas, if you'd only
let me — "
"Who's a henderin' you?
Don't you insinuate nothing
agin me ! — don't you do it.
Don't you come in here bullyin'
around, and cussin' and goin' on
like a lunatic — don't you do it.
'Coz / won't stand it. If iight's
what you want, out Math \'i\ Pm
your man ! Out with it ! "
Said Johnson, backing into
a corner, Arkanafj^ following,
menacingly :
" Why, / never said nothing,
Mr. Arkansas. You don't give
a man no chance. I was only
gain' to say that PennsylvsMa
was goin' to have an election
next weelc — that was all^ — thaiS
was everything I was goin' to
say — I wish I may never stir if it wasn't."
" Well then why d'n't you say it ? What did you come
swellin' around that way for, and tryin' to raise trouble? "
" Why 1 didn't come swellin' around, Mr. Arkansas— I
just—"
" I'm a liar am I ! Ger-reat Caesar's ghos1>— -"
'MU. AKKAN3AS."
BULLY OLD ARKANSAS. 223
" Oh, please, Mr. Arkansas, I never meant such a thing as
that, I wish I may die if I did. All the boys will tell you
that I've always spoke well of you, and respected you mofe'n
any man in the house. Ask Smith. Ain't it so, Smith ? Didn't
I say, no longer ago than last night, that for a man that was a
gentleman aU the time and every way you took him, give me
Arkansas ? I'll leave it to any gentleman here if them warn't
the very words I used. Come, now, Mr. Arkansas, le's take
a drink — ^le's shake hands and take a drink. Come up — every-
body ! It's my treat. Come up, -Bill, Tom, Bob, Scotty —
come up. I want you all to take a drink with me and Arkan-
sas— old Arkansas, I call him — bully old Arkansas. Gimme
your hand agin. Look at him, boys— just take a loojc at him.
Thar stands the whitest man in America ! — and the man that
denies it has got to fight me, that's all. Gimme that old
flipper agin ! "
They embraced, with drunken aflFection on the landlord's
part, and unresponsive toleration on the part of Arkansas,
who, bribed by a drink, was disappointed of his prey once
more. But the foolish landlord was so happy to have escaped
butchery, that he went' on talking when he ought to have
marched himself out of danger. The consequence was that
Arkansas shortly began to glower upon him dangerously,
and presently said :
" Larf'lord, will you p-please make that remark over agin
if you please ? "
" I was a-sayin' to Scotty that my father was up'ards of
ei_ghty year old when he died."
'; «Vas that all that you said ? "
" Yes, th&t was all."
« Didn't say nothing but that ? "
" No — nothing."
Then an uncomfortable silence.
Arkansas played with his glass a moment, lolling on his
^bows on the counter. Then he meditatively scratched his
..left shin with his ri^ht boot, while the awkward silence con-
•tinued. But presently he loafed away toward the stovq,
224 BOUND FOE A FIGHT.
looking dissatisfied; rougWy shouldered two or three men
out of a comfortable position; occupied it himself, gave a
sleeping dog a kick that sent him howling under a bench,
then spread his long legs and his blanket-coat tails apart
and proceeded to warm his back. In a little while he fell to
grumbling to himself, and soon he slouched back to the bar
and said :
" Lan'lord, what's your idea for rakin' up old personalities
and blowin' about your father ? Ain't this company agreeable
to you ? Ain't it ? If this company ain't agreeable to you,
p'r'aps we'd better leave. Is that your idea ? Is that what
you're coming at ? "
" "Why bless your soul, Arkansas, I wam't thinking of such
a thing. My father and my mother — "
" Lan'lord, donH crowd a man ! Don't do it. K nothing'll
do you but a disturbance, out with it like a man ('«"c) — but
don^t rake up old bygones and fling 'em in the teeth of a passel
of people that wants to be peaceable if they could git a chance.
What's the matter with you this momin', anyway ? I never
see a man carry on so." *
" Arkansas, I reely didn't mean no harm, and I won't go
on with it if it's onpleasant to you. I reckon my licker's got
into my head, and what with the flood, and havin' so mray
to feed and look out for — "
" So thafs what's a-ranklin' in your heart, is it ? YoiuVant -
us to leave do you ? There's too many on us. You want us
to pack up and swim. Is that it ? Come ! "
" Please be reasonable, Arkansas. !N"ow you know that I
ain't the man to — "
" Are you a threatenin' me ? Are you ? By George, the
man don't live that can skeer me ! Don't you try to come
that game, my chicken — 'cuz I can stand a good deal, but I
won't stand that. Come out from behind that bar till I clean
you ! Yon want to drive us out, do you, you sneakin' under-
handed hound ! Come out from behind that bar ! I'll learn
you to bully and badger and browbeat a gentleman that's
forever trying to befriend you and keep you out of troiible ! "
A BLOODLESS AFFRAY.
225
" Please, Arkansas, please don't shoot ! If there's got to
be bloodshed — "
" Do you hear that, gentlemen ? Do you hear him talk
about bloodshed? So it's blood you want, is it, you ravin'
desperado ! You'd made up your mind to murder somebody
this mornin' — I knowed it perfectly well. I'm the man, am
I? It's me you're goin' to murder, is it? But you can't do
it 'thout I get one chance first, you thievin' black-hearted,
white-lirered son of a nigger 1 Draw your weepon ! "
AN AXUHD AIXT.
"With that, Arkansas began to shoot, and the landlord to
clamber over benches, men and every sort of obstacle in a
frantic desire to^capp. ; fei the midst of the wild hubbub the
^landlord crashed^oughHtoajass door, and as Arkansas charged
^ after him the landlord's WOT suddenly appeared in the door-
tl6
226 THE FLOOD |jftj?8IDE8.
way and* confronted the desperado with a pair of scissors ! Her
fury was magnificent. With head erect and flashing eye she
stood a moment and then advanced, with her weapon raised.
The astonished ruffian hesitated, and then fell back a step.
She followed. She backed him step by step into the middle
of the bar-room, and then, while the wondering crowd closed
up and gazed, she gave him such another tongue-lashing as
never a cowed and shamefaced braggart got before, perhaps !
As she finished and retired victorious, a roar of applause shook
the house, and every man ordered " drinks for the crowd " in
one and the same breath.
The lesson was entirely sufficient. The reign of terror was
over, and the Arkansas domination broken for good. During
the rest of the season of island captivity, there was one man
who sat apart in a state of permanent humiliation, never mix-
ing in any quarrel or uttering a boast, and never resenting the
insults the once cringing crew now constantly leveled at him,
and that man was " Arkansas."
By the fifth or sixth morning the waters had subsided from
the land, but the stream in the old river bed was still high and
swift and there was no possibility of crossing it. On the eighth
it was still too high for an entirely safe passage, but life in the
inn had become next to insupportable by reason of the dirt,
drunkenness, fighting, etc., and so we made an effort to get
away. In the midst of a heavy snow-storm we embarked in a
canoe, taking our saddles aboard and towing our horses after us
by their halters. The Prussian, OUendorftj was in the bow, with
a paddle, Ballou paddled in the middle, and I sat in the stem
holding the halters. When the horses lost their footing and
began to swim, Ollendorff got frightened, for there was great
danger that the horses would make our aim uncertain, and it
was plain that if we failed to land at a certain spot the current
would throw us off and almost surely cast us into the main
Carson, which was a boiling torrent, now. Such a catastrophe
would be death, in all probability, for we would be swept to
sea in the " Sink " or overturned and drowned. We warned
Ollendorff to keep his wits about him and handle himself care-
ANOTHER DISASTER. 227
ftilly, but it was useless ; the moment the bow touched the
bank, he made a spring and the canoe whiried upside down in
CBOSSING THE FLOOD.
ten-foot water. 011endoi*ff seized some brush and dragged
himself ashore, but Ballou and I had to swim for it, encum-
bered with our oTercoats. But we held on to the canoe, and
although we were washed down nearly to the Carson, we man-
aged to push the boat ashore and make a safe landing. "We
were cold and water-soaked, but safe. The horses made a
landing, too, but our saddles were gone, of course. We tied
the animals in the sage-brush and there they had to stay for
twenty-four hours. We baled out the canoe and ferried over
some food and blankets for them, but we slept one more night
in the inn before making another venture on our journey.
The next morning it was stiU snowing furiously when we
228 A NEW 8TABT TOR CARSON.
b
got away with our new stock of saddles and accoutrements.
We mounted and started. The snow lay so deep on the
ground that there was no sign of a road perceptible, and the
snow-fall was so thick that we could not see more than a hun-
dred yards ahead, else we could have guided our Course by the
mountain ranges. The case looked dubious, but Ollendorff"
said his instinct was as sensitive as any compass, and that he
could " strike a bee-line " for Carson city and never diverge
from it. He said that if he were to straggle a single point out
of the true line his instinct would assail him like an outraged
conscience. Consequently we dropped into his wake happy
and content. For half an hour we poked along warily enough,
but at the end of that time we came upon a fresh trail, and
Ollendorff shouted proudly:
" I knew I was as dead certain as a compass, boys ! Here
we are, right in somebody's tracks that will hunt the way for
us without any trouble. Let's hurry up and join company with
the party."
So we put the horses into as much of a trot as the deep
snow would allow, and before long it was evident that we
were gaining on our predecessors, for the tracks grew more
distinct. We hurried along, and at the end of an hour the
tracks looked still newer and fresher — but what surprised us
was, that the number of travelers in advance of us seemed to
steadily increase. We wondered how so large a party came to
be traveling at such a time and in such a solitude. Somebody
suggested that it must be a pompany of soldiers from the fort,
and so we accepted that solution and jogged along a little faster
still, for they could not be far off now. But the tracks still
multiplied, and we began to think the platoon of soldiers was
miraculously expanding into a regiment — ^Ballou said they had
already increased to five hundred ! Presently he stopped his
horse and said :
" Boys, these are our own tracks, and we've actually been
ciraussing round and round in a circle for more than two
hours, out here in this blind desert I By George this is per-
fe«tly hydraulic ! "
RAPID TRAVEL BUT KO ADVANCE.
229
Then tlie old man waxed wroth and abusive. He called
Ollendorff all manner of hard names — said he never saw
such a Inrid fool as he was, and ended with the peculiarly
venomous opinion that he "did not know as much as a
logarytlim ! "
We certainly had been following our own tracks. Ollen-
^- ^^
g *" ^~ ^
ADVANCE IN A CIKCLE.
dorff and his " mental compass " were in disgrace from that
moment After all our hard travel, here we were on the bank
of the stream again, with the inn beyond dimly outlined
through the driving snow-fall. While we were considering
whdt to do, the young Swede landed from the canoe and took
his pedestrian way Carson-wards, singing his same tiresome
song about his " sister and his brother " and " the child in
the grave with its mother," and in a short minute faded and
disappeared in the white oblivion. He was never heard of
230
A SAFE LEADER AT LAST.
THE SONGSTER.
again. He no doubt got bewildered and lost, and Fatigue
delivered him over to Sleep and Sleep betrayed hjm to Death.
Possibly he followed our treacherous tracks till he became ex-
hausted and dropped.
Presently the Overland stage
forded the now fast receding stream
and started toward Carson on its
first trip since the flood came. We
hesitated no longer, now, but took
up our march in its wake, and trot-
ted merrily along, for we had good
confidence in the driver's bump of
locality. But our horses were no
match for the fresh stage team. "We
were soon left out of sight ; but it
was no matter, for we had the deep ruts the wheels made for
a guide. By this time it was three in the afternoon, and con-
sequently it was not very long before night came — and not
with a lingering twilight, but with a sudden shutting down
like a cellar door, as is its habit in that country. The snow-
fall was still as thick as ever, and of course we could not see
fifteen steps before us ; but all about us the white glare of the
snow-bed enabled us to discern the smooth sugar-loaf mounds
made by the covered sage-bushes, and just in front of us the
two faint grooves which we knew were the steadily filling
and slowly disappearing wheel-tracks.
IlTow those sage-bushes were all about the same height —
three or four feet ; they stood just about seven feet apart, all
over the vast desert ; each of them was a mere snow-mound,
now ; in arm] direction that you proceeded (the same as in a
well laid out. orchard) you would find yourself moving down
a distinctly defined avenue, with a row of these snow-mounds
an either side of it — an avenue the customary width of a road,
nice and level in its breadth, and rising at the sides in the
most natural way, by reason of the mounds. But we had not
thqught of this. Then imagine the chilly thrill that shot
through us when it finally occurred to us, far in the night,
REALIZATION OF UNPLEASANT FACTS.
231
that since the last faint trace of the wheel-tracks had long ago
been buried from sight, we might now be wandering down a
mere sage-brush avenue, miles away from the road and diverg-
ing fiirther and further away from it all the time. Having a
cake of ice slipped down one's back is placid comfort compared
to it. There was a sudden leap and stir of blood that had
been asleep for an hour, and as sudden a rousing of all the
drowsing activities in our minds and bodies. We were alive
and awake at once — and shaking and quaking with consterna-
tion, too. There was an instant halting and dismounting, a
bending low and an anxious scanning of the road-bed. Use-
less, of course ; for if a faint depression could not be discerned
from an altitude of four or five feet above it, it certainly could
not with one's nose nearly against it.
OHAPTEE XXXII.
"TTT^E seemed to be in a road, but tbat was no proof. We
■ ^ ' tested this by walking off in Various directions — the
regular snow-mounds and the regular avenues between them
convinced each man that he had found the true road, and that
the others had foUnd only false ones. Plainly the situation
was desperate. We were cold and stiff and- the horses were
tited. We decided to build a sage-brusli fire and camp out till
morning. This was wise, because if we were wandering from
the right road and the snow-storm continued another day our
ease would be the next thing to hopeless if we kept on.
All, agreed that a camp fire was what would come nearest
to saving us, now, and so we set about building it. We
could find no matches, and so we tried to make shift with the
pistols. Not a man in the party had ever tried to do such a
thing before, but not a man in the party doubted that it could
be done, and without any trouble— because every man in the
party had read about it in books many a time and had naturally
come to believe it, with trusting simplicity, jiist as he had
long ago accepted and believed that other common book-fraud
about Indians and Idst hunters making a fire by rubbing two
dry Sticks together.
We huddled together on our knees in the deep snow,
and the horses put their noses together and bowed their
patient heads over us ; and while the feathery flakes eddied
down and turned us into a group of white statuary, we pro-
ceeded with the momentous experiment. We broke twigs
LOST IN THE SNOW WITHOUT FIRE OR HORSES. 233
from a sage bush and piled them on a little - cleared place
in the shelter of our bodies. In the course of ten or fifteen
minutes all was rqady, and then, while conversation ceased
and our pulses beat low with anxious suspense, Ollendorff
applied his revolver, pulled the trigger and blew the pile
clear out of the county ! It was the flattest failure that ever
was.
This was distressing, but it paled before a greater horror —
A FLAT FAILU^a.
the horses were gone! I had been appointed to hold the
bridles, but in my absorbing anxiety over the pistol experi-
ment I had unconsciously dropped them and the released
animals had walked off in the storm. It was useless to tiy to
. follow them, for their footfalls could make no sound, and one
could pass within two yards of the creatures and never see
them. We gave them up without an effort at recovering
them, and cursed the lying books that said horses would stay
234
VAIN ATTEMPTS FOR A FIRE.
by their masters for protection and companionship in a distress-
ful time like ours.
"We were miserable enough, before ; we felt still more
forlorn, now. Patiently, but with blighted hope, we broke
more sticks and piled them, and once more the Prussian shot
them into annihilation. Plainly, to light a fire with a pistol
was an art requiring practice and experience, and the middle
of a desert at midnight in a snow-storm was not a good
place or time for the acquiring of the accomplishment. "We
gave it up and tried the other. Each man took a couple of
sticks and fell to chafing them together. At the end of half
an hour we were thoroughly chilled, and so were the sticks.
"We bitterly execrated the Indians, the hunters and the books
that had betrayed us with the silly device, and wondered dis-
mally what was next to be done. At this critical moment
Mr. Ballou fished out four matches from the rubbish of an
overlooked pocket. * To have found four gold bars would have
seemed poor and cheap good .luck compared to this. One
cannot think how
good a match looks
under such cir-
cumstances— or
how lovable and
precious, and sa-
credly beautiful to
the eye. This time
we gathered sticks
with high hopes;
and when Mr. Bal-
lou prepared to
light the first
match, there was
an amount of in-
terest centred upon him that pages of writing could not
describe. The match burned hopefully a moment, and then
went out. It could not have carried more regret with it if it
had been a human life. The next match simply flashed and
THE LAST MATCH.
COMPAEISON OF OUR THOUGHTS. 235
died. The wind puffed the third one out just as it was on
the imminent verge of success. We gathered together closer
than ever, and developed a solicitude that was rapt and pain-
ful, as Mr. Ballou scratched our last hope on his leg. It lit,
burned blue and sickly, and then budded into a robust flame.
Shading it with his hands, the old gentleman bfent gradually
down and every heart went with him — everybody, too, for that
matter — and blood and breath stood still. The flame touched
the sticks at last, took gradual hold upon them — hesitated —
took a stronger hold — ^hesitated again — ^held its breath five
heart-breaking seconds, then gave a sort of human gasp and
went out.
Nobody said a word for several minutes. It was a solemn
sort of silence ; even the wind put on a stealthy, sinister quiet,
and made no more noise than the falling flakes of snow.
Finally a sad-voiced conversation began, and it was soon
apparent that in each of our hearts lay the conviction that this
was our last night with the living. I had so hoped that I was
the only one who felt so. When the others calmly acknowl-
edged their conviction, it soimded like the simimons itself.
Ollendorff said:
" Brothers, let us die together. And let us go without one
hard feeling towards each other. Let us forget and forgive
bygones. I know that you have felt hard towards me for turn-
ing over the canoe, and for knowing too much and leading you
rotlnd and round in the snow — but I ineant well ; forgive me.
I acknowledge freely that I have had hard feelings against Mr.
Ballou for abusing me and calling me a logarythm, which is a
thing I do not know what, but no doubt a thing considered
disgraceful, and unbecoming in America, and it has scarcely-
been out of my mind and has hurt me a great deal — ^but let
it go ;. I forgive Mr. Ballou with aU my heart, and — "
Poor Ollendorff broke down and the tears came. He was
not alone, for I was crying too, and so was Mr. Ballou.
Ollendorff got his voice again and forgave me for things I had
done and said. Then he got out his bottle of whisky and said
that whether he lived or died he would never touch another
236
WE MOURN OVER OUR EVIL LIVES.
drop. He said he had given up all hope of life, and although
ill-prepared, was ready to submit humbly to his fate ; that he
wished he could be spared a little longer, not for any selfish
reason, but to make a thorough reform in his character, and by
devoting himself to helping the poor, nursing the sick, and
pleading with the people to guard themselves against the
evils of intemperance, make his life a beneficent example to
the young, and lay it down at last v^'ith the precious reflection
that itsliad not been lived in vain. He ended by saying that
his reform should begin at this moment, even here in the
presence of death, since no longer time was to be vouchsafed
wherein to prosecute it to men's help and benefit — and with
that he threw away the bottle of whisky.
Mr. Ballou made remarks of similar purport, and began
the reform he could not live to continue, by throwing away
the ancient pack of cards that had solaced our captivity during
the flood and made it bearable. He said he never gambled, but
still was satisfied that the meddling with cards in any way was
immoral and injurious, and no
man could be wholly pure and
blemishless without eschew-
ing them. "And therefore,"
continued he, " in doing this
act I already feel more in
sympathy with that spiritual
saturnalia necessary to entire
and obsolete reform." These
rolling syllables touched him
as no intelligible eloquence
man sobbed with a mournful-
DISCABDED VICES.
could have done, and the old
ness not unmingled with satisfaction.
My own remarks were of the same tenor as those of
my comrades, and I know that the feelings that prompted
tliem were heartfelt and sincere. "We were all sincere,
and all deeply moved and earnest, for we were in the pres-
ence of death and without hope. I threw away my pipe,
and in doinsr it felt that at last I was free of a hated vice
APPARENTLY THE END.
237
and one that liad ridden me like a tyrant all my days. While
I yet talked, the thought of the good I might have done in
the -vvorid and the still greater good I might now do, with
these new incentives and higher and better aims to guide me
if I could only be spared a few years longer, overcame me
and the tears came again. We put our ai-ms about each
other's necks and awaited the warning drowsiness that pre-
cedes death by freezing.
It came stealing over us presently, and then we bade each
other a last farewell. A delicious dreaminess wrought its web
about my yielding senses, while the snow-flakes wove a wind-
ing sheet about my conquered body. Oblivion came. The
battle of life was done.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
I DO not know how long I was in a state of forgetfiilness,
but it seemed an age. A vague consciousness grew upon
me by degrees, and then came a gathering anguish of pain in
my limbs and through aU my body. I shuddered. The thought
flitted through my brain, "this is deaths — ^this is the hereafter."
Then came a white upheaval at my side, and a voice said,
with bitterness :
" Will some gentleman be so good as to kick me behind ? "
, It was Ballon — at least it was a towzled snow image in a,
sitting posture, with BaUou's voice.
I rose up, and there in the gray dawn, not fifteen steps
from us, were the frame buildings of a stage station, and under
a shed stood our still saddled and bridled horses !
An arched snow-drift broke up, now, and Ollendorff
emerged from it, and the three of us sat and stared at the
houses without speaking a word. "We really had nothing to
say. We were like the profane man who could not " do the
subject justice," the whole situation was so painfully ridiculous
and humiliating that words were tame and we did not know
where to commence anyhow.
The joy. in our hearts at our deliverance was poisoned;
weU-nigh dissipated, indeed. We presently began to grow
pettish by degrees, and sullen ; and then, angry at each other,
angry at ourselves, angry at everything in general, we moodily
dusted the snow from our clothing and in unsociable single
file plowed our way to the horses, unsaddled them, and sought
shelter in the station.
I have scarcely exaggerated a detail of this curious and
FRUITS OF OUK REFORM. 239
absurd adventure. It occurred almost exactljr as I have stated
it. We actually went into camp in a snow-drift in a desert, at
midnight in a storm, forlorn and hopeless, within fifteen steps
of a comfortable inn.
For two hours we sat apart in the station and ruminated in
disgust. The mystery was gone, now, and it was plain enough
why the horses had deserted us. Without a doubt they were
under that shed a quarter of a minute after they had left us,
and they must have overheard and enjoyed all oui* confessions
and lamentations.
After breakfast we felt better, and the zest of life soon
came back. The world looked bright again, and existence
was as dear to us as ever. Presently an uneasiness came over
me — grew upon me — assailed me without ceasing. Alas, my
regeneration was not complete — ^I wanted to smoke! I re-
sisted with all my strength, but the flesh was weak. I wan-
dered away alone and wrestled with myself an hour. I
recalled my promises of reform and preached to myself
persuasively, upbraidingly, exhaustively. But it was all vain,
I shortly found myself sneaking among the snow-drifts hunt-
ing for my pipe. I discovered it after a considerable search,
and crept away to hide myself and enjoy it. I remained
behind the bam a good while, asking myself how I would
feel if my braver, stronger, truer comrades should catch me in
my degradation. At last I lit the pipe, and no human being
can feel meaner and baser than I did then. I was ashamed
of being in my own pitiful company. Still dreading discovery,
I felt that perhaps the farther side of the barn would be some-
what safer, and so I turned the comer. As I turned the one
comer, smoking, Ollendorff turned the other with his bottle
to his lips, and between us sat unconscious Ballou deep in
a game of "solitaire " with the old greasy cards !
Absurdity could go no farther. We shook hands and
agreed to say no more about " reform " and " examples to the
rising generation."
The station we were at was at the verge of the Twenty-six-
Mile Desert. If we had approached it half an hour earlier
240
CAKSON, AND WHAT WE SAW THERE.
the night before, we must have heard men shouting there and
firing pistols; for they were expecting some sheep drovers
IT ■WAS THUS WE MET.
and their flocks and knew that they would infallibly get lost
and wander out of reach of help unless guided by sounds.
"While we remained at the station, three of the drovers arrived,
nearly exhausted with their wanderings, but two others of
their party were never heard of afterward.
"We reached Carson in due time, and took a rest. Tliis
rest, together with preparations for the journey to Esmeralda,
kept us there a week, and the delay gave us the opportunity
to be present at the trial of the great land-slide ease of Hyde
vs. Morgan — an episode which is famous in Nevada to this
day. After a word or two of necessary explanation, I will set
down the history of this singular affair just as it transpired.
OHAPTEE XXXIT.
THE mountains are very high and steep aLout Carson,
Eagle and Washoe Valleys — very high and very steep,
and so when the snow gets to _melting off fast in the Spring
and the warm surface-earth begins to moisten and soften, the
disastrous land-slides commence. The reader cannot know
what a land-slide is, unless he has lived in. that country and
seen the whole side of a mountain taken off some tine morning
and deposited down in the valley, leaving a vast, treelesg,
unsightly scar upon the mountain's front to keep the circum-
stance fresh in his memory all the years that he may go on
living within seventy miles of that place.
General Euncombe was shipped out to Nevada in the
invoice of Territorial officers, to be United States Attorney.
He considered himself a lawyer of parts, and he very much
wanted an opportunity to manifest it — partly for the pure<
gratification of it and partly because his salary was Territo-
rially meagre (which is a strong expression). Now the older
citizens of a new territory look down upon the rest of the
world with a calm, benevolent compassion, as long as it keeps
out of th6 way — when it gets in the way they snub it. Some-
times this latter takes the shape of a practical joke.
Oue morning Dick Hyde rode furiously up to General
Buncombe's door in Carson city and rushed into his presence
without stopping to tie his horse. He seemed much excited.
He told the General that he wanted him to conduct a suit for
him and would pay him five hundred dollars if he achieved a
victory. And then, with violent gestures and a world of
profanity, he poured out his griefs. He said it was pretty
16t
242
HOW DICK HYDE LOST HIS RANCH.
well Imown that for some years he had been farming (or
ranching as the more customary term is) in Washoe District,
and making a successful thing of it, and furthermore it was
known that his ranch was situated just in the edge of the
valley, and that Tom Morgan owned a ranch immediately
above it on the mountain side. And now the trouble was, that
one of those hated and dreaded land-slides had come and slid
Morgan's ranch,
fences, cabins, cattle,
bams and everything
down on top of his
ranch and exactly
covered up every
single vestige of his
property, to a depth
of about thirty-eight
feet. Morgan was
in possession and re-
fused to vacate the
premises — said he
was occupying
own cabin and not
interfering with any-
body else's — and said
the cabin was stand-
ing on the same dirt
and same ranch it had always stood on,
and he would like to see anybody make
him vacate.
I TAKING POSSESSION. " And wheu I reminded him," said
Hyde, weeping, " that it was on top of my ranch and that he
was trespassing, he had the infernal meanness to ask me why
didn't I stay on my ranch and hold possession when I see him
a-coming ! Why didn't I stay on it, the blathering lunatic —
by George, when I heard that racket and looked up that hill it
was just like the whole world was ariipping and a-tearing
down that mountain side — splinters, and cord-wood, thunder
ind lightning, hail and snow, odds and ends of hay stackB^
HOW MORGAN OVERTOOK HIM. 243
^nd awful clouds of dust ! — trees going end over end in the
air, rocks as big as a house jumping 'boiit a thousand feet
high and busting into ten million pieces, cattle turned inside
out and a-eoming head on with their tails hanging out be-
tween their teeth! — and in the midst of all that wrack and
destruction sot that cussed Morgan on his gate-post, a- wonder-
ing why. I didn't stay and hold possession ! Laws bless me,
I just took one glimpse, General, and lit out'n the county in
three jumps exactly.
" But what grinds me is that that Morgan hangs on there
and won't move off 'n that ranch — says it's his'n and he's going
to keep it— likes it better'n he did when it was higher up the
hill. Mad ! Well, I've been so mad for two days I couldn't
find my way to town — ^been wandering around in the brush
in a starving condition — got anything here to drink. General %
But I'm here now, and I'm a-going to law. You hear me ! "
Ifever in all the world, perhaps, were a man's feelings so
outraged as were the General's. He said he had never heard
of such high-handed conduct in all his life as this Morgan's.
And he said there was no use in going to law — Morgan had
no shadow of right to remain where he was— nobody in the
wide world would uphold him in it, and no lawyer would take
his case and no judge listen to it. Hyde said that right tliere
was where he was mistaken — everybody in town sustained
Morgan ; Hal Brayton, a very smart lawyer, had taken his
case ; the courts being in vacation, it was to be tried before a
referee, and ex-Governor Roop had already been appointed to
that ofiice and would open his court in a large public hall near
the hotel at two that afternoon.
The General was amazed. He said he had suspected be-
fore that the people of that Territory were fools, and now he
knew it. But he said rest easy, rest easy and collect the wit-
nesses, for the victory was just as certain as if the conflict
were already over. Hyde wiped away his tears and left.
At two in the afternoon referee Roop's Court opened, and
Roop appeared throned among his sheriffs, the witnesse%
and spectators, and wearing upon his face a solemnity so
awe-inspiring that some of his fellow-conspirators had misgiv-
244
PREPARATION FOR THE TRIAL.
ings that maybe he had not comprehended, after all, that this
was merely a joke. An unearthly stillness prevailed, for at
the slightest noise the judge uttered sternly the commands
" Order in the Court ! "
And the sheriffs promptly echoed it. Presently the
General elbowed his way through the crowd of spectators,
with his arms full of law-books, and on his ears fell an order
from the judge which was the first respectful recognition of
his high official dignity that had ever saluted them, and it
trickled pleasantly through his whole system :
"Way for the United States Attorney ! "
The witnesses were called — ^legislators, high government
A GREAT EFFOnT.
officers, ranchmen, miners, Indians, Chinamen, negroes. Three
fourths of them were called by the defendant Morgan, but no
matter, their testimony invariably went in favor of the plain-'
GENERAL BUNCOMBE IN COURT. 245
tiff Hyde. Each new witness only added new testimony to
the absurdity of a man's claiming to own another man's prop-
erty because his farm had slid down on top of it. Then the
Morgan lawyers made their speeches, and seemed to make sin-
gularly weak ones — they did really nothing to help the Morgan
cause. And now the General, with exultation in his face, got
up and made an impassioned effort ; he ponnded the table, he
banged the law-books, he shouted, and roared, and howled, he
quoted from everything and everybody, poetry, sarcasm, sta-
tistics, history, pathos, bathos, blasphemy, and wound up with
a grand wai'-whoop for free speech, freedom of the press, free
schools, the Glorions Bird of America and the principles of
eternal justice ! [Applause.]
When the General sat down, he did it with the convic-
tion that if there was anything in good strong testimony, a
great speech and believing and admiring countenances all
aroxmd, Mr. Morgan's case was killed. Ex-Governor Roop
leant his head upon his hand for some minutes, thinking, and
the still audience waited for his decision. Then he got up
and stood erect, with bended head, and thought again. Then
he walked the floor with long, deliberate strides, his chin in
his hand, and still the audience waited. At last he returned
to his throne, seated himself, and began, impressively :
" Gentlemen, I feel the great responsibility that rests upon
me this day. This is no ordinary case. On the contrary it is
plain that it is the most solemn and awful that ever man was
called upon to decide. Gentlemen, I have listened attentively
to the evidence, and have perceived that the weight of it, the
overwhelming weight of it, is in favor of the plaintiff Hyde.
I have listened also to the remarks of counsel, with high
interest — and especially will I commend the masterly and
irrefutable logic of the distinguished gentleman who repre-
sents the plaintiff. But gentlemen, let us beware how we
allow mere human testimony, human ingenuity in argument
and human ideas of equity, to influence us at a moment so
solemn as this. Gentlemen, it ill becomes us, worms as we are,
to meddle with the decrees of Heaven. It is plain to me that
U6
A VERDICT WITHOUT APPEAL.
Heaven, in its inscrutable wisdom, has seen fit to move this
defendant's ranch for a purpose. We are but creatures, and
vre must submit. If Heaven has chosen to favor the defendant
Morgan in this marked and wonderful manner; and if Heaven,
dissatisfied with the position of the Morgan ranch upon the
mountain side, has chosen to remove it to a position more
eli^ble and more advantageous for its owner, it ill becomes
us, insects as we are, to question the legality of the act or
inquire into the reasons that prompted it. No — Heaven created
the ranches and it is Heaven's prerogative tp rearrange them,
to experiment with them, to shift them around at its pleasure.
* *i»
REASRAIIGINQ AND SHIFTINO.
It Is for US to submit, without repining. I warn you that this
thing which has happened is a thing with which the sacri-
legious hands and brains and tongues of men must not meddle.
Grentlemen, it is the verdict of this court that the plaintiff,
A SERIOUS AFTERTHOUGHT. 247
Richard Hyde, has been deprived of his ranch by the visita-
tion of God ! And from this decision there is no appeal."
Buncombe seized his cargo of law-books and plunged out
of the court-room frantic with indignation. He pronounced
Hoop to be a miraculous fool, an inspired idiot. In all good
faith he returned at night and remonstrated with Eoop upon
his extravagant decision, and implored him to walk the floor
and think for half an hour, and see if he could not figure out
some sort of modification of the verdict. Eoop yielded at ladt
and got up to walk. He walked two hours and a half, and at
last his face lit up happily and he told Buncombe it had oc-
curred to him that the ranch underneath the new Morgan ranch
still belonged to Hyde, that his title to the ground was just
as good as it had ever been, and therefore he was of opinion
that Hyde had a right to dig it out from under there and —
The General never waited to hear the end of it. He was
always an impatient and irascible man, that way. At the end
of two months the fact that he had been played upon vrith a
joke had managed to bore itself, like another Hoosac Tunnel,
through the solid adamant of his understanding.
OHAPTEE XXXY.
"YTTHEN we finally left for Esmeralda, horseback, we had
' V an addition to the company in the person of Capt.
John Nye, the Governor's brother. He had a good memory,
and a tongue hung in the middle. This is a combination
which gives immortality to conversation. Capt. John never
suffered the talk to flag or falter once during the hundred and
twenty miles of the journey. In addition to his conversa-
tional powers, he had one or two other endovonents of a
marked character. One was a singular "handiness" about
doing anything and everjiihing, from laying out a railroad or
organizing a political party, down to sewing on buttons, shoe-
ing a horse, or setting a broken leg, or a hen. Another was a
spirit of accommodation that prompted him to take the needs,
difficulties and perplexities of anybody and everybody upon
his own shoulders at any and all times, and dispose of them
with admirable facility and alacrity — Whence he always managed
to find vacant beds in crowded inns, and plenty to eat in the
emptiest larders. And finally, wherever he met a man,
woman or child, in camp, inn or desert, he either knew such
parties personally or had been acquainted with a relative of
the same. Such another traveling comrade was never seen
before. I cannot forbear giving a specimen of the way in
whiqh he overcame difficulties. On the second day out, we
arrived, very tired and hungry, at a poor little inn in the
desert, and were told that- the house was full, no provisions on
hand, and neither hay nor barley to spare for the horses — ^we
must move on. The rest of us wanted to hurry on while it
A MAN WITH BAD TRAITS.
249
was yet light, but Capt. John insisted on stopping awhile.
We dismounted and entered. There was no welcome for us
on any face. Capt. John began his blandishments, and within
twenty minutes he had accomplished the following things,
viz. : found old acquaintances in three teamsters ; discovered
that he used to go to school with' the landlord's mother;
recognized his wife as a lady whose Hfe he had saved once in
California, by stopping her runaway horse ; mended a child's
broken toy and won the favor of its mother, a guest of the
inn; helped the hostler bleed a horse, and prescribed for
another horse that had the " heaves " ; treated the entire party
three times at the landlord's bar ; produced a later paper than
anybody had seen for a week and sat himself down to read the
news to a deeply interested audience. The result, summed
up, was as follows : The hostler found plenty of feed for our
horses ; we had a trout supper, an exceedingly sociable time after
it, good beds to sleep in, and a surprising breakfast in the
morning — and when we left, we left lamented by all ! Capt.
•Vra LEFT LAMENTED.
John had some bad traits, but he had some uncommonly valu-
able ones to offset them with.
Esmeralda was in many respects another Humboldt, but
in a little more forward state. The claims we had been
paying assessments on were entirely worthless, and we threw
them away. The principal one cropped out of the top of a
knoll that was fourteen feet high, and the inspired Board of
250
BASE OPEBATIONS LOOKED INTO.
Directors were running a tunnel under that knoll to strike tbo
ledge. The tunnel would have to be seventy feet long, and
would then strike the ledge at the same depth that a shaft
twelve feet deep would have reached I The Board were living
on the " assessments." [If. B. — This hint comes too late for the
enlightenment of New York silver miners ; they have already
learned all about this neat trick by experience.] The Board
had no desire to strike the ledge, knowing that it was as barren
of silver as a curbstone. This reminiscence calls to mind Jim
Townsend's tunnel. He had paid assessments on a mine
called the " Daley " till he was well-nigh penniless. Finally
an assessment was levied to run a tunnel two hundred and fifty
feet on the Daley, and Townsend went up on the hill to look
into na^tters. He found the Daley cropping out of the apea:
PIOlnKE OF TOWHSEND'S TUNlfEL.
of an exceedingly sharp-pointed peak, and a couple of men up
there " facing " the proposed tunnel. Townsend made a cal-
culation. Then he said to the men :
" So you have taken a contract to run a tunnel into this
hill two hundred and fifty feet to strike this ledge ? "
"Yes, sir."
BOTTOM TOUCHED AT LAST. 261
" Well, do you know that you have got one of the most
expensive and arduous undertakings before you that was ever
conceived by man ? "
" Why no— how is that ? "
" Because this hill is only twenty-five feet through from
Bide to side; and so you have got to build two hundred and
twenty-five feet of your tunnel on trestle-work ! "
The ways of silver mining Boards are exceedingly dark
and sinuous.
We took up various claims, and commenced shafts and
tunnels on them, but never finished any of them. We had to
do a certain amount of work on each to "hold" it, else other
parties could seize our property after the expiration of ten
days. We were always hunting up new claims and doing a
little work on them and then waiting for a buyer — who never
came. We never found any ore that would yield more than
fifty dollars a ton ; and as the mills charged fifty dollars a
ton for working ore and extracting the silver, our pocket-
money melted steadily away and none returned to take its
place. We lived in a little cabin and cooked for ourselves ;
and altogether it was a hard life, though a hopeful one — for
we ncAi^er ceased to expect fortune and a customer to burst
upon us some day.
At last, when fiour reached a dollar a pound, and money
could not be borrowed on the best security at less than eight
per cent a month (I being without the security, too), I aban-
doned mining and went to milling. That is to say, I went to
work as a common laborer in a quartz mill, at ten dollars a
week and board.
CHAPTEE XXXYI.
I HAD already learned how hard and long and dismal a task
it is to burrow down into the bowels of the earth and get
out the coveted ore ; and now I learned that the burrowing
was only half the work ; and that to get the silver out of the
ore was the dreary and laborious other half of it. We had to
turn out at six in the morning and keep at it tiU dark. This
mill was a six-stamp affair, driven by steam. Six tall, upright
rods of iron, as large as a man's ankle, and heavily shod with
a mass of iron and steel at their lower ends, were framed
together like a gate, and these rose and fell, one after the
other, in a ponderous dance, in an iron box called a " battery."
Each of these rods or stamps weighed six hundred pounds.
One of us stood by the battery all day long, breaking up
masses of silver-bearing rock with a sledge and shoveling it
into the battery. The ceaseless dance of the stamps pulver-
ized the rock to powder, and a stream of water that trickled
into the battery turned it to a creamy paste. The minutest
particles were driven tlu'ough a fine wire screen which fitted
close around the battery, and were washed into great tubs
warmed by super-heated steam — amalgamating pans, they are
called. The mass of pulp in the pans was kept constantly
stiiTed up by revolving " muUers." A quantity of quicksilver
was kept always in the battery, and this seized some of the
liberated gold and silver particles and held on to them ; quick-
silver was shaken in a fine shower into the pans, also, about
every half hour, through a buckskin sack. Quantities of
AT WORK IN A QUARTZ MILL.
253
coarse salt and sulphate of copper were added, from time to
time to assist the amalgamation by destroying base metals
which coated the gold and silver and would not let it unite
with the quicksilver. All these tiresome things we had to
=1S=3^-
N 1. •
*
— ' — ; — ""^
0^
qUAKTZ MILL VS NEyAX)jL.
attend to constantly. Streams of dirty water flowed always
from the pans and were carried oif in broad wooden troughs
to the ravine. One would not suppose that atoms of gold and
silver would float on top of six inches of water, biit they did ;
and in order to catch them, coarse blankets were laid in the
troughs, and little obstructing "riffles" charged with quick-
silver were placed here and there across the troughs also.
These riffles had to be cleaned and the blankets washed out
every evening, to get their precious accumulations — and after
all this eternity of trouble one third of the silver and gold in
a ton of rock would flnd its way to the end of the troughs in
the ravine at last and have to be worked over again some day.
There is nothing so aggravating as silver milling. There
never was any idle time in that mill. There was always
something to do. It is a pity that Adam could not have gone
254 WASHING BLANKETS AND "SCREENING TAILINGS."
straight out of Eden into a quartz mill, in order to understand
the full force of Ms doom to " earn his bread by the sweat of
his brow." Every now and then, during the day, we had to
scoop some pulp out of the pans, and tediously "wash" it in a
horn spoon — wash it little by little over the edge till at last
nothing was left but some little dull globules of quicksilver in
the bottom. If they were soft and yielding, the pan needed
some salt or some sulphate of copper or some Other chemical
rubbish to assist digestion ; if they were crisp to the touch and
would retain a dint, they were freighted with all the silvei'and
gold they could seize and hold, and consequently the pans
needed a fresh charge of quicksilver. When there was noth-
ing else to do, one could always " screen tailings." That is to
say, he could shovel up the dried sand that had washed down
to the ravine through the troughs and dash it against an up-
right wire screen to free it from pebbles and prepare it for
ANOTHER PKOCESS OF AMALOAMATIOH.
working over. The process of amalgamation differed in the
various mills, and this included changes in style of pans and
other machinery, and a great diversity of opinion existed as to
the best in use, but none of the methods employed, involved
MAKING SILVER BRICKS. 255
the principle of milling ore without " screening the tailings."
Of all recreations in the world, screening tailings on a hot
day, with a long-handled shovel, is the most undesirable.
At the end of the week the machinery was stopped and
we " cleaned up." That is to say, we got the pulp out of the
pans and batteries, and washed the mud patiently away till
nothing was left but the long accumulating mass of quicksilver,
with its imprisoned treasures. This we made into heavy,
compact snow-balls, and piled them up in a bright, luxurious
heap for inspection. Making these snow-balls cost me a fine
gold ring — that and ignorance together; for the quicksilver
invaded tile ring with the same facility with which water sat-
urates a sponge — separated its particles and the ring crumbled
to pieces.
We put oar pile of quicksilver balls into an iron retort
that had a pipe leading from it to a pail of water, and then
applied a roasting heat. The quicksilver turned . to vapor,
escaped through the pipe into the pail, and the water turned
it into good wholesome quicksilver again. Quicksilver is very
costly, and they never waste it. On opening the retort, there
was our week's work — a lump of pure white, frosty looking
silver, twice as large as a man's head. Perhaps a fifth of the
mass was gold, but the color of it did not show — would not
have shown if two thirds of it had been gold. We melted it
up and made a solid brick of it by pouring it into an iron
brick-mould.
By such a tedious and laborious process were silver bricks
obtained. This mill was but one of many others in operation
at the time. The first one in Nevada was built at Egan Can-
yon and was a small insignificant affair and compared most
xmfavorably with some of the immense establishments after-
wards located at Yirginia City and elsewhere.
From our bricks a little corner was chipped off for the
"fire-assay" — a method used to determine the proportions of
gold, silver and base metals in the mass. This is an interest-
ing process. The chip is hammered out as thin as paper and
weighed on scales so fine and sensitive that if you weigh a
256
'FIEE. ASSAY" PBOCESSl
two-inch scrap of paper on them and then write your name on
the paper with a coarse, soft pencil and weigh it again, the
FIRST QUARTZ MILL IN KEVADA.
scales will take marked notice of the addition. Then a little
lead (also weighed) is rolled up with the flake of silver and
the two are melted at a great heat in a small vessel called a
cupel, made by compressing bone ashes into a cup-shape in a
steel mold. The base metals oxydize and are absorbed with
the lead into the pores of the cupel. A button or globule of
perfectly pure gold and silver is left behind, and by weighing
it and noting the loss, the assayer knows the proportion of base
metal the brick contains. He has to separate the gold from
the silver now. The button is hammered out flat and thin,
put in the furnace and kept some time at a red heat; after
cooling it off it is rolled up like a quill and heated in a glass
vessel Containing nitric acid ; the acid dissolves the silver and
leaves the gold pure and ready to be weighed on its own merits.
ASSATIN6 AS A BUSINESS.
257
Then salt water is poured into the vessel containing the dis-
solved silver and the silver returns to palpable form again and
sinks to the bottom. Nothing now remains but to weigh it ;
then the proportions of the seiveral metals contained in the
brick are known, and the assayer stamps the value of the brick
Upon its surface.
The sagacious reader will know now, without being told,
that the speculative miner, in getting a " fire-assay " made of a
piece of rock from his mine (to help him sell the same), was
not in the habit of picking out the least valua;ble fragment of
rock on his dump-pile, but quite the contrary. I have seen
men hunt over a pile of nearly worthless quartz for an hour,
and at last find a little piece as large as a filbert, which was
rich in gold and silver— and this was reserved for a fire-assay !
Of course the fire-assay would demonstrate that a ton of such
rock would yield hundreds
of dolkrs — and on such as-
says many an utterly worth-
less mine was sold.
Assaying was a good
business, and so some men
engaged in it, occasionally,
who were not strictly sci-
entific and capable. One
assayer got such rich results
out of all specimens brought
to him that in time he
acquired almost a monopoly
of the business. But like
all men who achieve success,
he became an object of envy
and suspicion. The other
assayers entered into a
conspiracy against him, and let some prominent citizens into
the secret in order to show that they meant fairly. Then they
broke a little fragment off a carpenter's grindstone and got a
stranger to take it to the popular scientist and get it assayed.
17t '
A SLICE OF BICH OBE.
258 A STKIKE FOE HIGHER WAGES.
In the course of an honr the result came — whereby it ap-
peared that a ton of that rock would yield $1,284.40 in silver
and $366.36 in gold !
Due publication of the whole matter was made in the
paper, and the popular assayer left town " between two days."
I will remark, in passing, that I only remained in the
milling business one week. I told my employer I could not
stay longer without an advance in my wages; that I liked
quartz milling, indeed was infatuated with it; that I had
never before grown so tenderly attached to an occupation in
so short a time; that nothing, it seemed to me, gave such
scope to intellectual activity as feeding a battery and screening
tailings, and nothing so stimulated the moral attributes as
retorting bullion and washing blankets — ^still, I felt constrained
to ask an increase of salary.
He said he was paying me ten dollars a week, and thought
it a good round sum. How much did I want ?
I said about four hundred thousand dollars a month, and
"board, was about all I could reasonably ask, considering the
hard times.
I was ordered off the premises ! And yet, when I look
back to those days and call to mind the exceeding hardness of
the labor I performed in that mill, I only regret that I did not
ask him seven hundred thousand.
Shortly after this I began to grow crazy, along with tl;e
rest of the population, about the mysterious and wonderful
" cement mine," and to make preparations to take advantage
of any opportunity that might offer to go and help hunt for it.
CHAPTEE XXXYII.
IT was somewhere in the neighborhood of Mono Lake that
the marvellous Whiteman cement mine was supposed to
lie. Every now and then it would be reported that Mr. W.
had passed stealthily through Esmeralda at dead of night, in
disguise, and then we would have a wild excitement — ^because
he must be steering for his secret mine, and now was the time
to follow him. In less than three hours after daylight all the
horses and mules and donkeys in the vicinity would be bought,
hired or stolen, and half the community would be off for the
mountains, following in the wake of Whiteman. But W. would
drift about through the mountain gorges for days together, in
a purposeless sort of way, until the provisions of the miners ran
out, and they would have to go back home. I have known it
reported at eleven at night, in a large mining camp, that White-
man had just passed through, and in two hours the streets, so
quiet before, would be swarming with men and animals.
Every individual would be trying to be very secret, but yet
venturing to whisper to just one neighbor that W. had passed
through. And long before daylight — ^this in the dead of Win-
ter— the stampede would be complete, the camp deserted, and
the whole population gone chasing after W.
The tradition was that in the early immigration, more than
twenty years ago, three young Germans, brothers, who had
survived an Indian massacre on the Plains, wandered on foot
through the deserts, avoiding all trails and roads, and simply
holding a westerly direction and hoping to find California
before they starved, or died of fatigue. And in a gorge in the
mountains they sat down to rest one day, when one of them
260
THE WONDERFUL CEMENT MINE.
noticed a curious vein of cement running along the ground,
shot full of lumps of dull yellow metal. They saw that it was
gold, and that here was a fortune to be acquired in a single day.
The vein was about as wide as a curbstone, and fully two thirds
of it was pure gold. Every pound of the wonderful cement was
worth well-nigh $200. Each
of the brothers loaded him-
self with about twenty-five
pounds of it, and then they
covered up all traces of the
vein, made a rude drawing
of the locality and the prin-
cipal landmarks in the vicin-
ity, and started westward
again. But troubles thick-
ened about them. In their
wanderings one brother fell
and broke his leg, and
the others were obliged to
igo on and leave him to die
in the wilderness. Another,
worn out and starving, gave
up by and by, and laid down
to die, but after two or three
weeks of incredible hard-
ships, the third reached the
settlements of California ex-
hausted, sick, and his mind
deranged by his sufferings.
He had thrown away all his
cement but a few fragments,
but these were sufficient to
set everybody wild with excitement. However, he had had
enough of the cement country, and nothing could induce him
to lead a party thither. He was entirely content to work .on
a farm for wages. But he gave Whiteman his map, and
described the cement region as well as he could, and thus
THE SATCD BROTHBB.
A SECRET EXPEDITION. 261
transferreid the curse to that gentleman — for when I had my
one accidental glimpse of Mr. W. in Esmeralda he had been
hunting for the lost mine, in hunger and thirst, poverty and
sickness, for twelve or thirteen years. Some people believed
he had found it, but most people believed he had not. I saw
a piece of cement as large as my fist which was said to have
been given to Whiteman by the young German, and it was of
a seductive nature. Lumps of virgin gold were as thick in it
as raisins in a slice of fruit cake. The privilege of working
such a mine one week would be sufficient for a man of reason-
able desires.
A new partner of ours, a Mr. Higbie, knew Whiteman well
by sight, and a friend of ours, a Mr. Van Dom, was well ac-
quainted with him, and not only that, but had Whiteman's
promise that he should have a private hint in time to enable
him to join the next cement expedition. Yan Dorn had prom-
ised to extend the hint to us. One evening Higbie came in
greatly excited, and said he felt certain he had recognized
Whiteman, up town, disguised and in a pretended state of in-
toxication. In a little while Van Dorii arrived and confirmed
the news ; and so we gathered in our cabin and with heads
close together arranged our plans in impressive whispers.
We were to leave town quietly, after midnight, in two
or three small parties, so as not to attract, attention, and
meet at dawn on the " divide " overlooking Mono Lake, eight
or nine miles distant. We were to make no noise after start-
ing, and not speak above a whisper under any circumstances.
It was believed that for once Whiteman's presence was un-
known in the town and his expedition unsuspected. Our
conclave. broke up at nine o'clock, and we set about our
preparations diligently and with profound secrecy. At eleven
o'clock we saddled our horses, hitched them with their long
riatas (or lassos), and then brought out a side of bacon, a sack
of beans, a small sack of coffee, some sugar, a hundred poimds
of flour in sacks, some tin cups and a coffee pot, frying pan
and some few other necessary articles. All these things were
"packed" on the back of a led horse — and whoever has not been
202 A NOCTURNAL ADVENTURE.
taught, by a Spanish adept, to pack an animal, let him never
hope to do the thing by natural smartness. That is impossible.
Higbie had had some experience, but was not perfect. He
put on the pack saddle (a thing like a saw-buck), piled the
property on it and then wound a rope all over and about it
and under it, " every which way," taking a hitch in it every
now and then, and occasionally surging back on it till the
horse's sides sunk in and he gasped for breath — ^but every time
the lashings grew tight in one place they loosened in another.
We never did get the load tight all over, but we got it so that
it would do, after a fashion, and then we started, in single file,
close order, and without a word. It was a dark night. We
kept the middle of the road, and proceeded in a slow walk
past the rows of cabins, and whenever a miner came to his
door I trembled for fear the light would shine on us and ex-
cite enriosity. But nothing happened. We began the long
winding ascent of the canyon, toward the " divide," and pres-
ently the cabins began to grow infrequent, and the intervals
between them wider and wider, and then I began to breathe
tolerably freely and feel less like a thief and a murderer. I
was in the rear, leading the pack horse. As the ascent grew
steeper he grew proportionately less satisfied with his cargo,
and began to, pull back on his riata occasionally and delay
progress. My comrades were passing out of sight in the
gloom. I was getting anxious. I coaxed and bullied the
pack horse till- 1 presently got liim into a trot, and then the
tin cups and pans strung about his person frightened him and
he ran. His riata was wound around the pummel of my
saddle, and so, as he went by he dragged me from my horse
and the two animals traveled briskfy on without me. But I
was not alone — ^the loosened cargo tumbled overboard from
the pack horse and fell close to me. It was abreast of almost
the last cabin. A miner came out and said :
"Hello!"
I was thirty steps from him, and knew he could not see
me, it was so very dark in the shadow of the mountain. So I
lay still. Another head appeared in the light of tlie cabin
IN A DISTKESSED POSITION.
263
door, and presently the two men walked toward me. They
stopped within ten steps of me, and one said:
"'St! Listen."
ON A SECBET BXPEDITIOi'.
I could not have been in a more distressed state if I had,
been escaping justice with a price on my head. Then the
miners appeared to sit down on a boulder, though t could not
see them distinctly enough to be ve;ry sure what they did.
One said :
" I heard a noise, as plain as I ever heard anything. It
seemed to be about there — "
A stbne whizzed by my head. I flattened myself out in
the dust like a ' postage stamp, and tjiought. to myself if he
mended his aim ever so little he would probably hear another
noise. In my heart, now, I execrated secret expeditions. I
promised myself that this should be my last, though the Sierras
were ribbed with cement veins.. Then, one of the meuisaid ::
" I'll tell you what ! "Welch knew what lie was- talking about
264 A WEEK'S HOLIDAY.
when he said he saw Whiteman to-day. I heard horses — that
was the noise. I am going down to Welch's, right away."
They left and I was glad. I did not care whither they
went, so they went. I was willing they should visit Welch,
and the sooner the better.
As soon as they closed their cabin door my comrades
emerged from the gloom ; they had canght the horses and were
waiting for a clear coast again. We remounted the cargo on
the pack horse and got under way, and as day broke we
reached the " divide " and joined Yan Dom. Then we jour-
neyed down into the valley of the Lake, and feeling secure,
we halted to cook breakfast, for we were tired and sleepy and
hungry. Three hours later the rest of the population filed over
the " divide " in a long procession, and drifted off out of sight
around the borders of the Lake !
Whether or not my accident had produced this result we
never knew, but at least one thing was certain — the secret was
,out and Whiteman would not enter iipon a search for the
, cement mine this time. We were filled with chagrin.
We held a council and decided to make the best of our
, misfortune and enjoy a week's holiday on the borders of the
, curious Lake. Mono, it is sometimes called, and sometimes
ithe " Dead Sea of California." It is one of the strangest freaks
.of M.ature to be found in any land, but it is hardly ever men-
tioned in print and very seldom visited, because it lies away
off the lusual routes of travel and besides is so difficult to get
at that ,«nly men content to endure the roughest life wiU con-
sent to take upon themselves the discomforts of such a trip.
On the merning of our second day, we traveled around to a
remote and particularly wild spot on the borders of the Lake,
where a stream of fresh, ice-cold water entered it from the
mountain side, and then we went regularly into camp. We
hired a large boat and two shot-gtms from a lonely ranchman
who lived some ten miles further on, and made ready for com-
fort and recreation. We soon got thoroughly acquainted with
the Lake and all its peculiarities.
OHAPTEE XXXYIII.
MONO LAKE lies in a lifeless, treeless, hideous desert,
eight thousand feet above the level of the sea, and is
guarded by mountains two thousand feet higher, whose sum-
mits are always clothed in clouds. This solemn, silent, sailless
sea — this lonely tenant of the loneliest spot on earth — ^is little
graced with the picturesque. It is an unpretending expanse
of grayish water, about a hundred miles in circumference,
with two islands in its centre, mere upheavals of rent and
scorched and blistered lava, snowed over with gray banks and
drifts of pumice-stone and ashes, the winding sheet of the
dead volcano, whose vast crater the lake has seized upon and
occupied.
The lake is two hundred feet deep, and its sluggish waters
are so strong with alkali that if you only dip the most hope-
lessly soiled garment into them once or twice, and wring it out,
it will be found as clean as if it had been through the ablest
of washerwomen's hands. WhUe we camped there oar laundry
work was easy. "We tied the week's washing astern of our
,boat, and sailed a quarter of a mile, and the job was complete,
all to tiie wringing out. If we threw the water on our heads
and gave them a rub or so, the white lather would pile up three
inches high. This water is not good for bruised places and
abrasions of the skin. "We had a valuable dog. He had raw
places on him. He had more raw places on him than sound
ones. He was the rawest dog I almost ever saw. He jumped
overboard one day to get away from the flies. But it was bad
266
VERY HARD ON OUR DOG.
judgment. In his condition, it would have been just as com-
fortable to jump into the fire. The alkali water nipped him
in all the raw places
simultaneously, and
he struck out for the
shore with consider-
able interest. He
yelped and barked
and howled as he
went— and by the
time he got to the
shore there was no
bark to him — ^for he
had barked the bark
all out of his inside,
and the alkali water
had cleaned the bark
all off his outside,
and he probably wished he had never embarked in any such
enterprise. He ran round and round in a circle, and pawed
KATHBE SOAPT.
A BARK UNDER Fm.L SAIL.
the earth and clawed the air, and threw double somersaults^
sometimes backward and sometimes forward, in the most
NATUKE'S WONDERFUL PROVISIONS. 267
extraordinary manner. He was not a demonstrative dog, as
a general thing, but rather of a grave and serious turn of
mind, and I never saw him take so much interest in anything
before. He finally struck out, over the mountains, at a gait
which we estimated at about two hundred and fifty miles an
hour, and he is going yet. This was about nine years ago.
"We look for what is left of him along here every day.
A white man cannot drink the water of Mono Lake, for it
is nearly pure lye. It is said that the Indians in the vicinity
drink it sometimes, though. It is not improbable, for they
are among the purest liars I ever saw. [There will be no ad-
ditional charge for this joke, except to parties reqtiiring an
' explanation of it. This joke, has received high commeiidation
from some of the ablest minds of the age.]
There are no fish in Mono Lake — no fi-ogs, no. snakes, no
poUiwigs — nothing, in fact, that goes to make life desirable.
Millions of wild ducks and sea-gulls swim about the surface,
but no living thing exists under the surface, except a white
feathery sort of worm, one half an inch long, which looks like
a bit of white thread frayed out at the sides. If you dip up a
gallon of water, you will get about fifteen thousand of these.
They give to the water a sort of grayish-white appearance.
Then there is a fly, which looks something Tike our house fly.
These settle on the beach to eat the worms that wash ashore
— and any time, you can see there a belt of flies an inch deep
and six feet wide, and this belt extends clear around the lake
— a belt of flies one hundred miles long. If you throw a stone
among them, they swarm up so thick that they look dense, like
a cloud. Tou can hold them under water as long as you please
— they 4o not mind it — ^they are only proud of it. When you
let them go, they" pop up to the surface as dry as a patent oflBce
report, and walk off as unconcernedly as if they had been
educated especially with a view to affording instructive enter-
tainment to man in that particular way. Providence leaves
nothing to go by chance. All things have their uses and their
part and proper place in Nature's economy : the ducks eat the
flies— the flies eat the worms— the Indians eat all three — the
268
A FKEE HOTEL BUT NO CLEKK.
wild cats eat the Indians — the white folks eat the wild cats^ —
and thus all things are lovely.
Mono Lake is a hundred miles in a straight line from the
ocean — and between it and the ocean are one or two ranges
of mountains — ^yet thousands of sea-gullB go there every season
to lay their eggs and rear their young. One would as soon
expect to find sea-gulls in Kansas. And in this connection let
us observe another instance of Nature's wisdom.. The islands
in the lake being merely huge masses of lava, coated over with
ashes and pumice-stone, and utterly innocent of vegetation or
anything that would bum ; and sea-gulls' eggs being entirely
useless to anybody unless they be cooked, Nature has provided
an unfailing spring of boiling water on the largest island, and
you can put your eggs in there, and in four minutes you can
boil them as hard as any statement I have made during the past
fifteen years. Within ten feet of the boiling spring is a spring
of pure cold water, sweet and wholesome. So, in that island
A MODEL BOABDINQ-HOUSB.
you get your board and washing free of charge — and if nature
had sone further and furnished a nice American hotel clerk
who was crusty and disobliging, and didn't know anything
about the time tables, or the railroad routes — or — anything —
and was proud of it — ^I would not wish for a more desirable
boarding-house.
Half a dozen little mountain brooks flow into Mono
Lake, but not a' stream of a/ny hind flows out of it. It neither
FUNNY INCIDENTS, BUT A LITTLE OVERDRAWN. 269
rises nor falls, apparently, and what it does with its surplus
water is a dark and bloody mystery.
There are only two seasons in the region round about
Mono Lake — and these are, the breaking up of one Winter
and the beginning of the next. More than once (in Esme-
ralda) I have seen a perfectly blistering morning open up with
the thermometer at ninety degrees at eight o'clock, and seen
the snow fall fourteen inches deep and that same identical
thermometer go down to forty-four degrees under shelter,
before nine o'clock at night. Under favorable circumstances
it snows at least once in every single month in the year, in the
little town of Mono. So imcertain is the climate in Summer
that a lady who goes out visiting cannot hope to be prepared
for all emergencies unless she takes her fan under one arm and
her snow shoes under the other. When they have a Fourth
of July procession it generally snows on them, and they do say
that as a general thing when a man calls for a brandy toddy
there, the bar keeper chops it off with a hatchet and wraps it
up in a paper, like maple sugar. And it is farther reported
that the old soakers haven't any teeth — wore them out eating
gin cocktails and brandy punches. I do not endorse that state-
ment— I simply give it for what it is worth— and it is worth —
well, I should say, millions, to any man who can believe it
without straining himself. But I do endorse the snow on the
Fourth of July — ^because I know that to be true.
OHAPTEE XXXIX.
ABOUT seven o'clock one blistering hot morning — ^for it
was now dead summer time — Higbie and I took the
boat and started on a voyage of discovery to the two islands.
We had often longed to do this, but had been deterred by the
fear of storms ; for they were frequent, and severe enough to
capsize an ordinary row-boat like ours without great difficulty
— and once capsized, death would ensue in spite of the bravest
swimming, for that venomous water would eat a man's eyes
out like fire, and burn him out inside, too, if he shipped a sea.
It was called twelve miles, straight out to the islands — a long
puU and a warm one — but the morning was so quiet and sunny,
and the lake so smooth and glassy and dead, that we could not
.resist the temptation. So we filled two large tin canteens
with water (since we were not acquainted with the locality of
the spring said to exist on the large island), and started.
Higbie's braswiy muscles gave the boat good speed, but by the
time we reached our destination we judged that we had pulled
nearer fifteen miles than twelve.
We landed on the Dig island and went ashore. We tried
the water in the canteens, now, and found that the sun had
spoiled it ; it was so brslckish that we could not drink it ; so
we poured it out and began a search for the spring — for thirst
augments fast as soon as it is apparent that one hae no means
at hand of quenching it. The island was a long, moderately
high hill of ashes-^nothing but gray ashes and pumice-stone,
in which we sunk to our knees at every step — and all around
AN EXCURSION ON THE^ISLAND.
271
the top was a forbidding wall of scorched and blasted rocks.
When we reached the top and got within the wall, we found
simply a shallow, far-reaching basin, carpeted with ashes, and
here and there a patch of fine sand. In places, pictui-esque
jets of steam shot up out of crevices, giving evidence that
although tliis ancient crater had gone out of active business,
there was still some fire left in its furnaces. Close to one of
these jets of steam stood the only tree on the island — a small
pine of most graceful shape and most faultless symmetry ; its
color was a brilliant green, for the steam drifted unceasingly
through its branches and kept them always moist. It con-
trasted strangely enough, did this vigorous and beautiful outcast,
with its dead and dismal surroundings. It was like a cheerful
spirit in a mourn-
ing household.
"We hunted for
the spring every-
where, traversing
the fiill len|^ of
the island (two or
three miles), and
crossing it twice —
climbing ash-hills
patiently, aad then
sliding down the
^other side in a
sitting posture,
plowing up smoth-
ering volumes of
gray du^t. But we
found nothing but
solitude, ashes and
a heart - breaking
silence. Finally we noticed that the wind had risen, and we
forgot our thirst in a solicitude of greater importance; for,
the lake beipg quiet, we had not taken pains about secur-
ing the boat. "We hurried back to a point overlooking our
LIFE AMID DEATH.
2Y2 OUR BOAT ADRIFT ON THE LAKE.
landing place, and then — but mere words cannot describe
our dismay — the boat was gone! The chances were that
there was not another boat on the entire lake. The situa-
tion was not comfortable — ^in truth, to speak plainly, it was
frightful. "We were prisoners on a desolate island, in aggrar
rating proximity to friends who were for the present help-
less to aid us; and what was still more uncomfortable was
the reflection that we had neither food nor water. But pres-
ently we sighted the boat. It was drifting along, leisurely,
about fifty yards from shore, tossing in a foamy sea. It
drifted, and continued to drift, but at the same safe dis-
tance from land, and we walked along abreast it and waited
for fortune to favor us. At the end of an hour it approached
a jutting cape, and Higbie ran ahead and posted himself
on the utmost verge and prepared for the assault. If we
failed there, there was no hope for us. It was driving gradu-
ally shoreward all the time, now ; but whether it was driving
fast enough to make the connection or not was the momen-
tous question. When it got within thirty steps of Higbie
I was so excited that I fancied I could hear my own heart
beat. When, a little later, it dragged slowly along and
seemed about to go by, only one little yard out of reach, it
seemed as if my heart stood still ; and when it was exactly
abreast him and began to widen away, and he still standing
like a watching statue, I knew my heart did stop. But when
he gave a great spring, the next instant, and lit fairly in the
stem, I discharged a war-whoop that woke the solitudes !
But it dulled my enthusiasm, presently, when he told me
he had not been caring whether the boat came within jumping
distance or not, so that it passed within eight or ten yards of
him, for he had made up his mind to shut his eyes and mouth
and swim that trifling distance. Imbecile that I was, I had not
thought of that. It was only a long swim that could be fatal.
The sea was running high and the storm increasing. It
was growing late, too — three or four in the afternoon.
Whether to venture toward the mainland or not, was a ques-
tion of some moment. But we were so distressed by thirst
BILLOWS OF SOAP SUDS.'
273
that we decided to try it, and so Higbie fell to work and I
took tlie steering-oar. When we had pulled a mile, laboriously,
we were evidently in serious peril, for the storm had greatly
A JUMI' FOK LIFE.
augmented; the billows ran very high and were capped with
foaming crests, the heavens were hung with black, and the
wind blew with great fury. We would have gone back, now,
but we did not dare to turn the boat around, because as soon
as she got in the trough of the sea she would upset, of course.
Our only hope lay in keeping her head-on to the seas. It was
hard work to do this, she plunged so, and so beat and belabored
the billows with her rising and falling bows. JSTow and tlien
one of Higbie's oars would trip on the top of a wave, and the
other one would snatch the boat half around in spite of my
cumbersome steering apparatus. We were drenched by the
sprays constantly, and the boat occasionally shipped water.
By and by, powerful as my comrade was, his great exertions
began to tell on him, and he was anxious that I should change
places with him .till he could rest a little. But I told him
this was impossible ; for if the steering oar wece dropped a
18t
274 A NUT FOR GEOLOGISTS.
moment while we changed, the boat would slue around into
the trough of the sea, capsize, and in less than five minutes we
would have a hundred gallons of soap-suds in us and be eaten
up so quickly that we could not even be present at our own
Inquest.
But things cannot last always. Just as the darkness shut
down we came booming into port, head on. Higbie dropped
his oars to hurrah— I dropped mine to help — the sea gave the
boat a twist, and over she went !
The agony that alkali water inflicts on bruises, chafes and
blistered hands, is unspeakable, and nothing but greasing all
over will modify it — but we ate, drank and slept well, that
night, notwithstanding.
In speaking of the pecidiarities of Mono Lake, I ought to
have mentioned that at intervals all around its shores stand
picturesque turret-looking masses and clusters of a whitish,
coarse-grained rock that resembles inferior mortar dried hard ;
and if one breaks off fragments of this rock he will find
perfectly shaped and thoroughly petrified gulls' eggs deeply
imbedded in the mass. How did they get there ? I simply
state the fact — for it is a fact — and leave the geological reader
to crack the nut at his leisure and solve the problem after his
own fashion.
At the end of a week we adjourned to the Sierras on a
fishing excursion, and spent several days in camp under snowy
Castle Peak, and fished successfully for trout in a bright,
miniature lake whose surface was between ten and eleven
thousand feet above the level of the sea; cooling ourselves
during the hot August noons by sitting on snow banks ten feet
deep, under whose sheltering edges fine grass and dainty
flowers flourished luxuriously ; and at night entertaining
ourselves by almost freezing to death. Then we returned to
Mono Lake, and finding that the cement excitement was over
for the present, packed up and went back to Esmeralda. Mr.
Ballou reconnoitred awhile, and not liking the prospect, set
out alone for Humboldt.
About this time occurred a little incident which has always
UNLOCKED rOE EXPLOSION.
2Y5
had a sort of interest to me, jfrom the fact that it came so near
'" instigating " my funeral. At a time when an Indian attack
had been expected, the citizens hid their gunpo'^der where it
would be safe and yet convenient to hand when wanted. A
neighbor of ours hid six cans of rifle powder in the bake-oven
of an old discarded cooking stove which stood on the open
ground near a frame out-house or shed, and from and after
that day never thought of it again. We hired a half-tamed
Indian to do some washing for us, and he took up quarters
under the shed with his tub. The ancient stove repcised witli-
in six feet of him, and before his face. Finally it occurred to
him that hot water would be better than cold, and he went
out and fired up under that forgotten powder maga^iine and
set on a kettle of water. Then he returned to his tub. I
'STOVB HEAP GOlfB.
entered the shed presently and threw down some more clothes,
and was about to speak to him when the stove blew up with a
prodigious crash, and disappeared, leaving not a splinter be-
hind. Fragments of it fell in the streets full two hundred
yards away. ]S"early a third of the shed roof over our heads
216 AN INDIAN'S WORDS FEW BUT EXPRESSIVE.
was destroyed, and one of the stove lids, after cutting a small
stanchion half in two in front of the Indian, whizzed between
us and drove partly through the weather-boarding beyond. I
was as white as a sheet and as weak as a kitten and speechless.
But the Indian betrayed no trepidation, no distress, not even
discomfort. He simply stopped washing, leaned forward and
surveyed the clean, blank ground a moment, and then re-
marked :
'< Mph ! Dam stove heap gone ! " — and resumed his scrub-
bing as placidly as if it were an entirely customary thing for a
stove to do. I will explain, that " heap " is " Injim-English "
for " very much." The reader will perceive the exhaustive
expressiveness of it in the present instance.
CHAPTEE XL.
I NOW come to a curious episode — ^the most curious, I
think, that had yet accented mj slothful, valueless, heed-
less career. Out of a hillside toward the upper end of the
town, projected a wall of reddish looking quartz-croppings, the
exposed comb of a silver-bearing ledge that extended deep
down into the earth, of course. It was owned by a company
entitled the " "Wide "West." There was a shaft sixty or seventy
feet deep on the under side of the croppings, and everybody
was acquainted with the rock that came from it — and tolerably
rich rock it was, too, but nothing extraordinary. I wiU remark
here, that although to the inexperienced stranger all the quartz
of a particular " district " looks about alike, an old resident of
the camp can take a glance at a mixed pile of rock, separate
the fragments and tell you which mine each came from, as
easily as a confectioner can separate and classify the various
kinds and qualities of candy in a mixed heap of the article.
All at once the town was thrown into a state of extraor-
dinary excitement. In mining parlance the "Wide "West had
" struck it rich ! " Everybody went to see the new developments,
and for some days there was such a crowd of people about the
"Wide "West shaft that a stranger would have supposed there
was a mass meeting in session there. No other topic was
discussed but the rich strike, and nobody thought or dreamed
about anything else. Every man brought away a specimen,
ground it up in a hand mortar, washed it out in his horn
spoon, and glared speechless upon the marvelous result. It
278 THE "WIDE WEST" SILVER LEDGE.
was not liard rock, but black, decomposed stuff which could
be crumbled in the hand like a baked potato, and when spread
out on a paper exhibited a thick sprinkling of gold and par-
ticles of "native" silver. Higbie brought a handful to the
cabin, and when he had washed it out his amazement was
beyond description. "Wide West stock soared skywards. It
was said that repeated offers had been made for it at a thou-
sand dollars a foot, and promptly refused. We have all had
the " blues " — the mere sky-blues — ^but mine were indigo, now
— ^because I did not own in the Wide West. The world
seemed hollow to me, and existence a grief. I lost my appe-
tite, and ceased to take an interest in anything. Still I had
to stay, and listen to other people's rejoicings, because I had
no money to get out of the camp with.
The Wide West company put a stop to the carrying away
of " specimens," and well they might, for every handful of the
ore was worth a sum of some consequence. To show the
exceeding value of the ore, I will remark that a sixteen-hun-
dred-pounds parcel of it was sold, just as it lay, at the mouth
of the shaft, at one dollar a pound ; and the man who bought
it " packed " it on mules a hundred and lifty or two hundred
miles, over the mountains, to San Francisco, satisfied that it
would yield at a rate that would richly compensate him for his
trouble. The Wide West people also commanded their foreman
to refuse any but their own operatives permission to enter the
mine at any time or for any purpose. I kept up my " blue"
meditations and Higbie kept up a deal of thinking, too, but
of a different sort. He puzzled over the " rock," examined it
with a glass, inspected it in different lights and from different
points of view, and after each experiment delivered himself, in
soliloquy, of one and the same unvarying opinion in the same
unvarying formula :
" It is not Wide West rock ! "
He said once or twice that he meant to have a look into the
Wide West shaft if he got shot for it. I was wretched, and
did not care whether he got a look into it or not. He failed
that day, and tried again at night; failed again; got up at
HIGBIE "INTEKVIEWS" THE MINE.
279
dawn and, tried, and failed again. Then he lay in ambush in
the sage brush hour after hour, waiting for the two or three
hands to adjourn to the shade of a boulder for dinner ; made
a start once, but was premature — one of the men came back
for something ; tried it again, but when almost at the mouth
of the shaft, another of the men rose up from behind the boul-
der as if to reconnoitre, and he dropped on the ground and lay
quiet; presently he crawled on his hands and knees to the
mouth of the shaft, gave a quick glance around, then seized
the rope and slid down
the shaft. He disap-
peared in the gloom of
a " side drift" just as a
head appeared in the
mouth of the shaft and
somebody shouted
"Hello!" — which he
did not answer. He was
not disturbed any more.
An hour later he en-
tered the cabin, hot, red,
and ready to burst with
smothered excitement,
and exclaimed in a stage wh
per:
"I knew it! "We aj
rich ! It's a blind lead ! "
I thought the very eartli
reeled under me. Doubt -
conviction^ — doubt again — ex-
ultation— hope, amazement,
belief, unbelief — every emo-
tion imaginable swept in wild procession through my heart
and brain, and I could not speak a word. After a moment
or two of this mental fury, I shook myself to rights, and
said:
" Say it again ! "
rsTERVIBWING THE "WIDE WEST."
280
'BLIND LEAD" DISCOVERED.
" It's a blind lead ! "
" Cal., let's — let's bum the house — or kill somebody ! Let's
get out where there's room to hurrah ! But what is the use?
It is a hundred times too good to be true."
" It's a blind lead, for a million ! — hanging wall— foot wall
— <;lay casings — everything complete ! " He swung his hat and
gave three cheers, and I cast doubt to the winds and chimed
in with a will. For I was worth a million dollars, and did
not care " whether school kept or not ! "
But perhaps I ought to explain. A "blind lead" is a
lead or ledge that
does not " crop out "
above the surface. A
miner does not know
where to look for
such leads, but they
are often stumbled
upon by accideut in
the course of driving
a tunnel or sinking a
shaft. Higbie knew
the "Wide West rock
perfectly well, and
the more he had ex-
amined the new d^
velopments the more
he was satisfied that
the ore could not
have come from the
Wide West vein.
And so had it occurred to him alone, of aU the camp, that
there was a blind lead down in the shaft, and that even the
Wide West people themselves did not suspect it. He was
right. When he went down the shaft,, he found that Ihe
blind lead held its independent way through the Wide West
vein, cutting it diagonally, and that it was enclosed in its own
well-defined casing-rocks and clay. Hence it was public prop-
WORTH A MILLION.
"UP IN A BALLOON."— KICH AT LAST. 281
erty. Both leads being perfectly well defined, it was easy for
any miner to see which, one belonged to the Wide West and
which did not.
"We thought it well to have a strong friend, and therefore
we brought the foreman of the Wide West to our cabin that
night and revealed the great surprise to him. Higbie said :
" We are going to take possession of this blind lead, record
it and establish ownership, and thein forbid the Wide West
company to take out any more of the rock. You cannot help
your company in this matter — nobody can help them. I will
go into the shaft with you and prove to your entire satisfaction
that it is a blind lead. Now we propose to take you in with
us, and claim the blind lead in our three names. What do
you say ? "
What could a man say who had an opportunity to simply
stretch forth his hand and take possession of a fortune without
risk of any kind and without wronging any one or attaching
the least taint of dishonor to his name ? He could only say,
"Agreed."
The notice was put up that night, and. duly spread iipon
the recorder's books before ten o'clock. We claimed two hun-
dred feet each — six hundred feet in all — the smallest and com-
pactest organization in the district, and the easiest to manage.
No one can be so thoughtless as to suppose that we slept, that
flight. Higbie and I went to bed at midnight, but it was only
to lie broad awake and think, dream, scheme. The floorless,
tumble-down cabin was a palace, the ragged gray blankets silk,
the furniture rosewood and mahogany. Each new splendor
that burst out of my visions of the future whirled me bodily
over in bed or jerked me to a sitting posture just as if an elec-
tric battery had been applied to me. We shot fragments of
conversation back and forth at each other. Once Higbie said :
" When are you going home — to the States ? "
" To-morrow ! " — with an evolution or two, ending with a
sitting position. " Well — no — but next month, at furthest."
" We'll go in the same steamer."
" Agreed."
282 HOW SHALL WE SPEND OUE MONET?
A pause.
"Steamer of the. 10th?"
"Tes; ISTo, the 1st."
"All right."
Another pause.
" Where are you going to. live?" said Higbie.
" San Francisco."
" That's me ! "
Pause.
" Too high — too much climbing " — ^from Higbie.
"What is?"
"I was thinking of Russian Hill — ^building a house up
there."
. " Too much climbing ? Shan't you keep a carriage ? "
" Of course. I forgot that."
Pause.
" Cal., what kind of a house are you going to build ? "
MILIIONAIRES lAYnrO PLAKS.
" I was thinking about that. Three-story and an attic."
" But -wh&t kind?"
" Well, I don't hardly know. Brick, I suppose."
■WE TIRE OF WEALTH — AND PLAY CRIBBAGE. 283
"Brick— bosh."
" "Why ? What is your idea ? "
" Brown stone front — French plate glass — billiard-room off
the dining-room — statuary and paintings — shrubbery and two-
acre grass plat — greenhouse — iron dog on the front stoop —
gray horses — ^landau, and a coachman with a bug on his hat ! "
"By George!"
A long pause.
" Cal., when are you going to Europe ? "
" "Well— I hadn't thought of that. "When are you ? "
" In the Spring."
" Going to be gone all summer ? "
" All summer ! I shall remain there three years."
" No — ^but are you in earnest ? "
"Indeed I am."
" I will go along too."
" "Why of course you" will."
" "What part of Europe shall you go to ? "
"All parts. France, England, Germany — Spain, Italy,
Switzerland, Syria, Greece, Palestine, Arabia, Persia, Egypt —
all over — everywhere."
" I'm agreed."
"All right."
" "Won't it be a swell trip I "
" "We'll spend forty or fifty thousand dollars trying to make
it one, anyway."
Another long pause.
" Higbie, we owe the butcher six dollars, and he has been
threatening to stop our — "
" Hasng the butcher 1 "
• " Amen."
And so it went on. By three o'clock we found it was no
use, and so we got up and played cribbage and smoked pipes
till sunrise. It was my week to cook. I always hated cook-
ing— ^now, I abhorred it.
The news was all over town. The former excitement was
great — this one was greater still. I walked the streets serene
284 DUTY BEFOKE PLEASURE.
and happy. Higbie said the foreman had been offered two
hundred thousand dollars for his third of the mine. I said I
would like to see myself selling for any such price. My ideas
were lofty. My figure was a million. Still, I honestly believe
that if I had been offered it, it would have had no other effect
than to make me hold off for more.
I found abundant enjoyment in being rich. A man offered
me a three-hundred-dollar horse, and wanted to take my sim-
ple, unendorsed note for it. That brought the most realizing
sense I had yet had that I was actually rich, beyond shadow
of doubt. It was followed by numerous other evidences of a
similar nature — among which I may mention the fact of the
butcher leaving us a double supply of meat and saying nothing
about money.
By the laws of the district, the " locators " or claimants of
a ledge were obliged to do a fair and reasonable amount of
work on their new property within ten days after the date of
the location, or the property was forfeited, and anybody coiild
go and seize it that chose. So we determined to go to work
the next day. About the middle of the afternoon, as I was
coming out of the post office, I met a Mr. Gardiner, who told
me that Capt. John N ye was lying dangerously ill at his place
(the " Nine-Mile Ranch "), and that he and his wife were not
able to give him nearly as much care and attention as his case
demanded. I said it he would wait for me a moment, I would
go down and help in the sick room. I ran to the cabin to tell
Higbie. He was not there, but I left a note on the table for
him, and a few minutes later I left town in Gardiner's wagon.
OHAPTEE XLI.
CAPTAIN NYE was very ill indeed, with spasmodic
rheumatism. But the old gentleman was himself —
which is to say, he was kind-hearted and agreeable when com-
fortable, but a singularly violent wild-eat when things did not
go well. He would be smiling along pleasantly enough, when
a sudden spasm of his disease would take him and he would
go out of his smile into a perfect fury. He would groan and
wail and howl with the anguish, and fill up the odd chinks
with the most elaborate profanity that strong convictions and
a fine fancy could contrive. With fair opportunity he could
swear very well and handle his adjectives with considerable
judgment ; but when the spasm was on him it was painful to
listen to him, he was so awkward. However, I had seen him
nurse a sick man himself and put up patiently with the incon-
veniences of the situation, and consequently I was willing that
he should have full license now that his own turn had come.
He could not disturb me, with aU his raving and ranting, for
my mind had work on hand, and it labored on diligently,
night anfi day, whether my hands were idle or employed. I
was altering and amending the plans for my house, and think-
ing over the propriety of having the billiard-room in the attic,
instead of on the same floor with the dining-room ; also, I was
trying to decide between green and blue for the upholstery of
the drawing-room, for, although my preference was blue I
feared it was a color that would be too easily damaged by dust
and sunlight ; likewise while I was content to put the coach-
286 DAT DEEAM OF A MILLIONAIRE
man in a modest livery, I was tmeertain about a footman — I
needed one, and was even resolved to have one, but wished he
could properly appear and perform his functions out of livery,
for I somewhat dreaded so much show ; and yBt, inasmuch as
my late grandfather had had a coachman and such things, but
no liveries, I felt rather drawn to beat him ; — or beat his ghost,
at any rate ; I was also systematizing the European trip, and
managed to get it all laid out, as to route and length of time
to be devoted to it — everything, with one exception — ^namely,
whether to cross the desert from Cairo to Jerusalem per camel,
or go by sea to Beirut, and thence down through the country
per caravan. Meantime I was writing to the friends at home
every day, instructing them concerning all my plans and in-
tentions, and directing them to look up a handsome homestead
for my mother and agree upon a price for it against my com-
ing, and also directing them to sell my share of the Tennessee
land and tender the proceeds to the widows' and orphans'
fund of the typographical union of which I had long been a
member in good standing. [This Tennessee land had been in
the possession of the family many years, and promised to con-
fer high fortune upon us some day ; it still promises it, but in
a less violent way.]
When I had been nursing the Captain nine days he was
somewhat better, but very feeble. During the afternoon we
lifted him into a chair and gave him an alcoholic vapor bath,
and then set about putting him on the bed again. "We had
to be exceedingly careful, for the least jar produced pain.
Gardiner had his shoulders and I his legs ; in an unfortunate
moment I stumbled and the patient fell heavily on the bed in
an agony of torture. I never heard a man swear so in my life.
He raved like a maniac, and tried to snatch a revolver from
the table — ^but I got it. He ordered me out of the house, and
swore a world of oaths that he would kill me wherever he
caught me when he got on his feet again. It was simply a
passing fury, and meant nothing. I knew he would forget it in
an hour, and maybe be sorry for it, too ; but it angered me a
little, at the moment. So much so, indeed, that I determined
A FIT SUBJECT FOE SYMPATHY.
287
to go back to Esmeralda. I thought he was able to get along
alone, now, since he was on the war path. I took supper, and
as soon as the moon rose, began my nine-mile journey, on foot.
Even millionaires needed no horses, in those days, for a mere
nine-mile jaimt without baggage.
As I "raised the hill" overlooking the town, it lacked
fifteen minutes of twelve. I glanced at the hill over beyond
the canyon, and in the bright moonlight saw what appeared
to be about half the population of the village massed on and
around the Wide West croppings. My heart gave an exulting
bound, and I said to myself, " They have made a new strike
to-night — and struck it richer than ever, no doubt." I started
over there, but gave it up. I said the " strike " wpuld keep,
and I had climbed hills enough for one night. I went on
down through the town, and as I was passing a little German
bakery, a woman ran out and begged me to come in and help
her. She said her husband had a fit. I went in, and judged
she was right — he appeared to have a hundred of them, com-
pressed into one. Two Germans were there, trying to hold
him, and not making much of a success of it. I ran up the
288
OUR BALLOON BURSTS.
street half a block or so and routed out a sleeping doctor,
brought bun down half dressed, and we four wrestled with
the maniac, and doctored, drenched and bled him, for more
than an hour, and the poor German woman did the crying.
He grew quiet, now, and the doctor and I withdrew and left
him to his friends.
It was a little after one o'clock. As I entered the cabin
door, tired but jolly, the dingy light of a tallow candle revealed
Higbie, sitting by the pine table gazing stupidly at my note,
which he held in his fingers, and looking pale, old, and bag-
gard. I halted, and
looked at him. He
looked at me, stol-
idly. I said :
"Higbie, what —
what is it?"
"We're ruined —
we didn't do the
work THE BLIND
lead's eelocated ! "
It was enough. I
sat down sick,
grieved — broken-
hearted, indeed. A
minute before, I was
rich and brimful of
vanity ; I was a pau-
per now, and very
meek. We sat still
wo ING.
an hour, busy with
thought, busy with vain and useless self-upbraidings, busy with
"Why didn't 1 do this, and why didn't I do that," but neither
spoke a word. Then we dropped into mutiial explanations, and
the mystery was cleared away. It came out that Higbie had
depended on me, as I had on him, and as both of us had on
the foreman. The folly of it ! It was the first time that ever
staid and steadfast Higbie had left -an important matter to
chance or failed to be true to his full share of a responsibility.
UNAVAILABLE REGRETS AND EXPLANATIONS. 289
But he had never seen my note till this moment, and this
moment was the first time he had been in the cabin
since the day he had seen me last. He, also, had left a note
for me, on that same fatal afternoon — had ridden up on horse-
back, and looked through the window, and being in a hurry
and not seeing me, had tossed the note into the cabin through
a broken pane. Here it was, on the floor, where it had re-
mained imdisturbed for nine days:
" Don't fail to do the work before the ten days expire. W. has passed
through and given me notice. I am to join him at Mono Lake, and we shall
go on from there to-night. He says he will find it this time, sure. Cal."
"W." meant Whiteman, of course. That thrice accursed
" cement ! "
That was the way of it. An old miner, like Higbie, could
no more withstand the fascination of a mysterious mining
excitement like this "cement" foolishness, than he could re-
frain from eating when he was famishing. Higbie had been
dreaming about the marvelous cement for months ; and now,
against his better judgment, he had gone off" and " taken the
chances " on my keeping secure a mine worth a million undis-
covered cement veins. They had not been followed this time.
His riding out of town in broad daylight was such a common-
place thing to do that it had not attracted any attention. He
said they prosecuted their search in the fastnesses of the
mountains during nine days, without success ; they could not
find the cement. Then a ghastly fear came over him that
something might have happened to prevent the doing of the
necessary work to hold the blind lead (though indeed lie
thought such a thing hardly possible), and forthwith he started
home with all speed. He would have reached Esmeralda in
time, but his horse broke down and he had to walk a great
part of the distance. And so it happened that as he came
into Esmeralda by one road, I entered it by another. His
was the superior energy, however, for he went straight to the
Wide "West, instead of turning aside as I had done — and he
arrived there about five or ten minutes too late ! The " notice "
19-f
290
THE THIRD PARTNER PLATS TO "WIN.
was already up, the "relocation" of our mine completed be-
yond recall, and the crowd rapidly dispersing. He learned
some facts before he left the ground. The foreman had not
been seen about the streets since the night we had located the
mine — a telegram had called him to California on a matter of
life and death, it was said. At any .rate he had done no work
and the w^atchful eyes of the community were taking note of
the fact. At midnight of this woful tenth day, the ledge
would be "relocatable," and by eleven o'clock the hill was
blacl^: with men prepared to do the relocating. That was tlie
crowd I had seen when I fancied a new " strike " had been
- ^-4 J'- -^
a) made — idiot that I was.
[We three had the same
right to relocate the lead
that other people had,
provided we were quick
enough.] As midnight
was announced, fourteen
men, duly armed and ready
to back their proceedings,
put up their "notice" and proclaimed their ownership of the
blind lead, under the new name of the "Johnson." But A.
D. Allen our partner (the foreman) put in a sudden appearance
about that time, with a cocked revolver in his hand, and said
his name must be added to the list, or he would " thin out the
Johnson company some." lie was a manly, splendid, de-
BUrOBCINQ A eOMPROMISB,
THE THREE MILLIONAIRES. 291
termiried fellow, and known to be as good as his word, and
therefore a compromise was effected. They put in his name
for a hundred feet, reserving to themselves the customary two
hundred feet each. Such was the history of the night's
events, as Higbie gathered from a friend on the way home.
Higbie and I cleared out on a new mining excitement the
next morning, glad to get away from the scene of our suffer-
ings, and after a month or two of hardship and disappoint-
ment, returned to Esmeralda once more. Then - we leatned
that the Wide West and the Johnson companies had consoli-
dated ; that the stock, thus united, comprised five thousand
feet, or shares; that the foreman, apprehending tiresome i liti-
gation, and considering such a huge concern unwieldy, had
sold his hundred feet for ninety thousand dollars in gold and
gone home to the States to enjoy it. If the stock was worth
such a gallant figure, with five thousand shares in the corpora-
tion, it makes me dizzy to think what it would have been
worth with . only our original six hundred ia it. It was, the
difference between six hundred men owning a house and five
thousand owning it. We would have been millionaires if we
had only worked with pick and spade one little day on our
property and so secured our ownership !
It reads like a wild fancy sketch, but the evidence of many
witnesses, and likewise that of the ofiicial records of Esmei-alda
District, is easily obtainable in proof that it is a true history.
I can always have it to say that I was absolutely and unqr'K'
tionably worth a million dollars, once, for ten days.
A year ago my esteemed and in every way estimable olc
millionaire partner, Higbie, wrote me from an obscui^e little
mining camp in California that after nine or ten years of buf-
fetings and hard striving, he was at last in a position where
he could command twenty-five hundred dollars, and said he
meant to go into the fruit business in a modest way. How
such a thought would have insulted him the night we lay in
our cabin planning European trips and brown stone houses on
Bussian Hill !
CHAPTER XLII.
WHAT to do next?
It was a momentous question. I had gon«> out into
the world to shift for myself, at the age' of thirteen (for mj
father had endorsed for friends ; and although he left us a
sumptuous legacy of pride in his fine Virginian stock and its
national distinction, I presently found that I could not live on
that alone without occasional bread to wash it down with). I
had gained a livelihood in various vocations, but had not
dazzled anybody with my successes ; still the list was before me,
and the amplest liberty in the matter of choosing, provided I
wanted to work — which I did not, after being so wealthy. I
had once been a grocery clerk, for one day, but had consumed
so much sugar in that time that I was relieved from further
duty by the proprietor ; said he wanted me outside, so that he
could have my custom. I had studied law an entire week,
and then given it up because it was so prosy and tiresome. I
had engaged briefly in the study of blaeksmithing, but wasted
so much time trying to fix the bellows so that it would blow
itself, that the master turned me adrift in disgrace, and told
me I would come to no good. I had been a bookseller's clerk
for awhile, but the customers bothered me so much I could
not read with any comfort, and so the proprietor gave me a
furlough and forgot to put a limit to it. I had clerked in a
dmg store part of a summer, but my prescriptions were un-
lucky, and we appeared to sell more stomach pumps than soda
water. So I had to go. I had made of myself a tolerable
printer, under the impression that I would be another Frank-
OBSTACLES TO MY SUCCESS.
293
ONE OF MT FAILURES.
lin some day, but somehow had missed the connection thus far.
There was no berth open in the Esmeralda Union, and besides
I had always been
such a slow compos-
itor that I looked
with envy upon the
achievements of ap-
prentices of two
years' standing ; and
when I took a i
"take," foremen I
were in the habit
of suggesting that
it would be wanted
"some time during
the year." I was a
good average St.
Louis and New
Orleans pilot and by
no means ashamed of my abilities in that line ; wages were
two himdred and fifty dollars a month and no board to pay,
and I did long to stand behind a wheel again and never roam
any more — ^but I had been making such an ass of mj'self lately
in grandiloquent letters home about my blind lead and my
European excursion that I did what many and many a poor
disappointed miner had done before ; said " It is all over with
me now, and I will never go back home to be pitied — and
snubbed." I had been a private secretary, a silver miner and
a silver mill operative, and amounted to less than nothing in
each, and now —
What to do next ? '
I yielded to Higbie's appeals and consented to try the
mining once more. "We climbed far up on the mountain side
and went to work on a little rubbishy claim of ours that had a
shaft on it eight feet deep. Higbie descended into it and
worked bravely with his pick till he had loosened up a deal
of rock and dirt and then I went down with a long-handled
394
I TRY A NEW PATH.
shovel (the most awkward invention yet contrived by man) to
throw it put. You must brace the shovel forward with the
side of your knee till it is full, and then, with a skilful toss,
throw it backward over your left shoulder. I made the toss
and landed the mess just on the edge of the shaft and it all
came back on my head and down the back of my neck. I
never said a word, but
climbed out and walked
home. I inwardly resolved
that I would starve before I
would make a target of my-
self and shoot rubbish at it
with a long-handled shovel.
I sat down, in the cabin,
and gave myself up to 'solid
misery — so to speak. Now
in pleasanter days I had
amused myself with writing
letters to the chief paper of
the Territory, the Yirginia
Daily Territorial Enter-
5«^^^^i prise, and had always been
surprised when they ap-
peared in print. My good
opinion of the editors had
steadily declined; for it
seemed to me that' they might have found something better to
fill lip with than my literature. I had found a letter in the
post office as I came home from the hill side, and finally I
opened it. Eureka ! [I never did know what Eureka meant,
but it seems to be as proper a word to heave in as any when
no other that sounds pretty offers.]. It was a deliberate offer
to me of Twenty-Five Dollars a week to come up to Virginia
and be city editor of the Enterprise.
I would have challenged the publisher in the "blind lead "
days— I wanted to fall down and worship him, now. Twenty-
Five Dollars a week — ^it looked like bloated luxury — ^a fortune
»;— a sinful and lavish waste of money. But my transports
TARGET SHOOTniG
FITTING FOR DUTY.
295
copied when I thought of my inexperience and consequent
unfitness for the position — and straightway, on top of this, my
long array of failures rose up before me. Yet if I refused
this place I must presently become dependent upon somebody
for my bread, a thing necessarily distasteful to A man who had
never experienced such a humiliation since he was thirteen
years old. Not much to be proud of, since it is so common
— ^but then it was all I had to be proud of. So I was scared
into being a city editor. I would have declined, otherwise.
Necessity is the mother of " taking chances." I do not doubt
that if, at that tir&e, I had been offered a salary to translate
the Talmud from the original Hebrew, I would have accepted
— albeit with diffidence and some misgivings— and thrown as
much variety into it as I could for the money.
I went up to Virginia and entered upon my new vocation.
I was a rusty looking city editor, I am free to confess — coat-
less, slouch hat, blue woolen shirt, pantaloons stuffed into,
boot-tops, whiskered half
down to the waist, and the
universal navy revolver slung
to my belt. But I secured a
more Christian costume and
discarded the revolver. I had
never had occasion to kill
anybody, nor ever felt a
desire to do so, but had worn
the thing in deference to
popular sentiment, and in
order that I might not, by its
absence, be offensively con-
spicuous, and a subject of
remark. But the other edi-
tors, and all the printers,
carried revolvers. I asked
the chief editor and proprietor (Mr. Goodman, I will call him,
since it describes him as well as any name could" do))&i5- some
instructions with regard to my duties,..and he told me togoialL
AS- OITT, EDITDK.
296
MT riKST EFFORT.
over town and ask all sorts of people all sorts of questions, '
make notes of the information gained, and write them out for
publication. And he added :
" Never say ' We learn ' so-and-so, or ' It is reported, or ' It
is rumored,' or 'We understand' so-and-so, but go to head-
quarters and get the absolute facts, and then speak out and say
' It is so-and-so.' Otherwise, people will not put confidence in
your news. Unassailable certainty is the thing that gives a
newspaper the firmest and most valuable reputation."
It was the whole thing in a nut-shell ; and to this day
when I find a reporter commencing his article with "We
understand," I gather a suspicion that he has not taken as
much pains to inform himself as he ought to have done. I
moralize well, but I did not always practise well when I was a
city editor ; I let fancy get the upper hand of fact too often
when there was a dearth of- news. I can never forget my first
(day's experience as a reporter. I wandered about town
(questioning everybody, boring everybody, and finding out that
.nobody knew anything. At the end of five hours my note-
book was still barren. I spoke to Mr. Goodman. He said :
-<' Dan used to make a good thing out of the hay wagons in
iS dry \time when there were no fires or inquests. Are there
no hay wagons in from the Truckee? If there are, you might
speak of the re-
newed activity and
all that sort of thing,
in the hay business,
you know. It isn't
sensational or ex-
citing, but it fills up
and looks business
like."
I canvassed the
city again and found
one wretched old
hay truck dragging in from the country. But I made affluent
use of it. I multiplied it by sixteen, brought it into town
THE ENTIKE MARKET.
"AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO GOOD."
297
from sixteen different directions, made sixteen separate items
out of it, and got tip such another sweat about hay as Virginia
City had never seen in the world before.
This was encouraging. Two nonpareil columns had to be
filled, and I was getting along. Presently, when things began
to look dismal again, a desperado killed a man in a saloon and
joy returned once more. I never was so glad over any mere
trifle before in my life. I said to the murderer :
" Sir, you are a stranger to me, but you have done me a
kindness this day which I can never forget. If whole years
of gratitude can be to you any slight compensation, they shall
be yours. I was in trouble and you have relieved me nobly
and at a time when all
seemed dark and drear.
Count me your friend from
this time forth, for I am
not a man to forget a favor."
' If I did not really say
that to him I at least felt a
sort of itching desire to do
it. I wrote up the murder
with a hungry attention to
details, and when it was
finished experienced but one
regret — ^namely, that they
had not hanged my bene-
factor on the spot, so that
I could work him up too.
Next I discovered some
emigrant wagons going into
camp on the plaza and found
that they had lately come
through the hostile Indian country and had fared rather
roughly. I made the best of the item that the circumstances
permitted, and felt that if I were not confined within 'rigid
limits by the presence of the reporters of the other papers I
could add particulars that would make the article much more
A FBIBND INDEED.
298
MY LEGITIMATE CALLING.
interesting. However, I found one wagon that was going on
to California, and made some judicious inquiries of the pro-
prietor. When I learned, through his short and surly answers
to my cross-questioning, that he was certainly going on and
would not be in the city next day to make trouble, I got
ahead of the other papers, for I took down his list of names
and added his party to the killed and wounded. Having
more scope here, I put this wagon through an Indian fight
that to this day has no parallel in history.
My two columns were filled. When I read them over in
the morning I felt that I had found my legitimate occupation
at last. I reasoned within myself that news, and stirring news,
too, was what a paper needed, and I felt that I was peculiarly
endowed with the ability to fuhiish it. Mr. Goodman said
that I was as good a reporter as Dan. I desired no higher
commendation. With encouragement like that, I felt that I
could take my pen and murder all the immigrants on the
plains if need be and the interests of the paper demanded it.
OHAPTEE XLIII.
HOWEYER, as I grew better acquainted with the business
and learned the run of the sources of information I
ceased to require the aid of fancy to any large extent, and
became able to fill my columns without diverging noticeably
from the domain of fact.
I struck up friendships with the reporters of the other
journals, and we swapped "regulars" with each other and
thus economized work. " Kegulars " are permanent sources of
news, like courts, bullion returns, " clean-ups " at the quartz
mills, and inquests. Inasmuch as everybody went armed, we
had an inquest about every day, and so this department
was naturally set down among the " regulars." We had
lively papers in those days. My great competitor among the
reporters was Boggs of the Union. He was an excellent
reporter. Once in three or four months he would get a little
intoxicated, but as a general thing he was a wary and cautious
drinker although always ready to tamper a little with the enemy.
He had the advantage of me in one thing ; he could get the
monthly public school report and I could not, because the
principal hated the Enterprise. One snowy night when the
report was due, I started out sadly wondering how I was going
to get it. Presently, a few steps up the almost deserted street
I stumbled on Boggs and asked him where he was going.
" After the school report."
" I'll go along with you."
" No, sir. I'll excuse you."
" Just as you say."
A saloon-keeper's boy passed by with a steaming pitcher
300 THE "UNION" GOT NO REPORT— WE DID.
of hot punch, and Boggs snuffed the fragrance gratefully. He
gazed fondly after the boy and saw him start up the Enter-
prise stairs. I said :
' " I wish you could help me get that school business, but
since you can't, I must run up to the Union, office and see if I
can get them to let me have a proof of it after they have set it
up, though I don't begin to suppose they will. Good night."
" Hold on a minute. I don't mind getting the report and .
^ sitting around with the boys a little, while you copy it, il' you're
willing to drop down to the principal's with me."
" Now you talk like a rational being. Come along."
We plowed a couple of blocks through the snow, got the
report and returned to our office. It was a short document and
soon copied. Meantime Boggs helped himself to the punch.
I gave the manuscript back to him and we started out to get
an inquest, for we heard pistol shots near by. We got the par-
ticulars with little loss of time, for it was only an inferior sort of
bar-room murder, and of little interest to the public, and then
we separated. Away at three o'clock in the morning, when
we had gone to press and were having a relaxing concert as
usual — ^for some of the printers were good singers and others
good performers on the guitar and on that atrocity the accor-
deon — the proprietor of the Union strode in and desired to
know if anybody had heard anything of Boggs x»r the school
report. We stated the case, and all turned out to help hunt
for the delinquent. We found him standing on a table in
a saloon, with an old tin lantern in • one hand and the
school report in the other, haranguing a gang of intoxicated
Cornish miners on the iniquity of squandering the public
moneys on education " when hundreds and hundreds of honest
hard-working men are literally starving for whiskey." [Kiotous
applause.] He had been assisting in a regal spree with those
parties for hours. We dragged him away and put him to bed.
Of course there was no school report in the Un ion, and
Boggs held me accountable, though I was innocent of any in-
tention or desire to compass its absence from that paper and
was as sorry as any one that the misfortune had occurred.
A PLEASAXT EXCURSION.
301
But we were perfectly friendly. The day that the school
report was next due, the proprietor of the " Genessee " mine
i-^1
AH EOUCATIONAI. BBFOBT.
furnished us a buggy and askdd us to go down and write some-
thing about the property — a Tery common request and one
always gladly acceded to when people furnished bnggieSj for
we were as fond of pleasure excursions as other people. In due
time we arrived at the "mine" — ^nothing but a hole in the
ground ninety feet deep, and no way of getting down into it
but by holding on to a rope and being lowered with a windlass.
The workmen had just gone off somewhere to dinner. I was
not strong enough to lower Boggs's bulk; so I took an un-
lighted candle in my teeth, made a loop for my foot in the
end of the rope, implored Boggs not to go to sleep or let the
windlass get the start of him, and then swung out over the
shaft. I reached the bottom muddy and bruised about the
elbows, but safe. I lit the candle, made an examination of
the rock, selected some specimens and shouted to Boggs to
302 7HE "UNION" GETS A REPORT— WE DON'T.
boist away, No answer. Presently a Iiead appeared in the
circle of daylight away aloft, and a voice came down :
" Are you all set ? "
" All set — ^hoist away."
" Are you comforta-
ble?"
" Perfectly,"
" Could you wait a lit-
tle?"
"Oh certainly — ^no
particular hurry."
"WeU— goodby."
"Why? Where are
you going ? "
"After the school re-
port ! "
And he did. I staid
down there an hour, and
surprised the workmen
when they hauled up and
found a man on the rope
instead of a bucket of rock.,
I walked home, too — ^five
miles — ^up hill. We had
no school report next morn-
ing ; but the Union had.
Six months after my
entry into journalism the
grand "flush times" of
Silverland began, and they
continued with unabated
splendor for three years. All difficulty about filling up the
" local department " ceased, and the only trouble now was how
to make the lengthened columns hold the world of incidents
and happenings that came to our literary net every day. Yir-
ginia had grown to be the " livest " town, for its age and popu-
lation, that America had ever produced. The sidewalks
NO PAKTIOlJLAa HUREY.
VIRGINIA CITY. 303
swarmed with people — to such an extent, indeed, that it was
generally no easy matter to stem the human tide. The streets
themselves were just as crowded with quartz wagons, freight
teams and other vehicles. The procession was endless. So
great was the pack, that buggies frequently had to wait half
an hour for an opportunity to cross the principal street. Joy
sat on every countenance, and there was a glad, almost fierce,
intensity in every eye, tliat told of the moneyrgetting schemes
that were seething in every brain and the high hope that held
sway in every heart. Money was as plenty as dust; every
individual considered himself wealthy, and a melancholy coun-
tenance was nowhere to be seen. There were military com-
panies, fire companies, brass bands, banks, hotels, theatres,
" hurdy-gurdy houses," ivide-open gambling palaces, political
pow-wows, civic processions, street fights, murders, inquests,
riots, a whiskey mill every fifteen steps, a Board of Aldermen,
a Mayor, a City Surveyor, a City Engineer, a Chief of the
Fire Department, with First, Second and Third Assistants,
a Chief of Police, City Marshal and a large police force, two
Boards of Mining Brokers, a dozen breweries and half a
dozen jails and station-houses in full operation, and some talk
of building a church. The " flush times " were in magnificent
fiower! Large fire-proof brick buildings were going up in
the principal streets, and the wooden suburbs were spreading-
out in all directions. Town lots soared up to prices that were
amazing.
The great " Comstock lode " stretched its opulent length
straight through the town fi-om north to south, and every mine
on it was in diligent process of development. One of these
mines alone employed six hundred and seventy-five men, and
in the matter of elections the adage was, " as the ' Gould and
Curry ' goes, so goes the city." Laboring men's wages were
four and six dollars a day, and they worked in three "shifts"
or gangs, and the blasting and picking and shoveling went on
without ceasing, night and day.
The " city " of Virginia roosted royally midway up the
steep side of Mount Davidson, seven thousand two hundred
304
LOCATION AND SURROUNDINGS
feet above the level
of the sea, and in the
clear Nevada atmo-
sphere was . visible
from a distance of
fifty miles! It
claimed a population
of fifteen thousand
to eighteen thousand,
and all day long half
of this little army
. swarmed the streets
S like' bees and the
I other half swanned
^ among the drifts and
S tunnels of the " Com-
o
s stock," hundreds of
I feet down in the
^ earth directly under
i' o those same streets.
P Often we felt our
0 chairs jar, and heard
1 the faint boom of a
a blast down in the
s bowels of the earth
S under the office.
g
« The mountain
side was so steep that
the entire town had a
slant to it like a roof.
Each street was a ter-
race, and from each
to the next street be-
low the descent was
forty or fifty feet.
The fronts of the
houses were level
with the street they
MAGNIFICENT PANORAMA. 305
faced, but their rear first floors were propped on lofty stilts ; a
man could stand at a rear first floor window of a C street
house and look down the chimneys of the row of houses
below him facing D street. It was a laborious climb, in that
thin atmosphere, to ascend from D to A street, and you were
panting and out of breath when you got there ; but you could
turn around and go down again like a house a-fire — so to
speak. The atmosphere was so rarified, on account of the
great altitude, that one's blood lay near the surface always,
and the scratch of a pin was a disaster worth worrying about,
for the chances were that a grievous erysipelas would ensue.
But to offset this, the thin atmosphere seemed to carry heal-
ing to gunshot wounds, and therefore, to simply shoot your
adversary through both lungs was a thing not likely to afford
you any permanent satisfection, for he would be nearly certain
to be around looking for you within the month, and not with
an opera glass, either.
From Virginia's airy situation one could look over a vast,
far-reaching panorama of mountain ranges and deserts ; and
whether the day was bright or overcast, whether the sun was
rising or setting, or flaming id the zenith, or whether night and
the moon held sway, the spectacle was always impressive and
beautiful. Over your head Mount Davidson lifted its gray
dome, and before and below you a rugged canyon clove the
battlemented hills, making a sombre gateway through which a
soft-tinted desert was glimpsed, with the silver thread of a river
winding through it, bordered with trees which many miles of
distance diminished to a delicate fringe ; and still further away
the snowy mountains rose up and stretched their long barrier
to the filni!y torizon — far enough beyond a lake that burned
in the desert like a fallen sun, though that, itself, lay fifty
miles removed. Look from your window where you would,
.there was fascination in the picture. At rare intervals — but
very rare — ^there were clouds in our, skies, and then the setting
sun would gild and flush and glorify this mighty expanse ol
scenery with a bewildering pomp of color that held the eye
like a spell and moved the spirit like music.
20t
OHAPTEE XLiy.
MY salary was increased to forty dollars a week. But I
seldom drew it. I had plenty of other resources, and
what were two broad twenty-dollar gold pieces to a man who
had his pockets full of such and a cumbersome abundance of
bright half dollars besides ? [Paper money has never come
into use on the Pacific coast.] Reporting was lucrative, and
every man in the town was lavish with liis money and his
" feet." The city and all the great mountain side were riddled
with mining shafts. There were more mines than miners.
True,, not ten of these mines were yielding rock worth hauling
to a mill, but everybody said, " Wait till the shaft gets down
where the ledge comes in solid, and then you will see ! " So
nobody was discouraged. These were nearly all " wild cat "
mines, and wholly worthless, but nobody believed it then. The
« Ophir," the " Gould & Curry," the " Mexican," and other
great mines on the Comstock lead in Virginia and Gold HUl
were turning out huge piles of rich rock every day, and every
man believed that his little vdld cat claim was as good as any
on the " main lead " and would infallibly be worth a thousand
dollars a foot when he " got down where it came in . solid."
Poor fellow, he was blessedly blind to the fact that he never
would see that day. So the thousand wild cat shafts burrowed
deeper and deeper into the earth day by day, and all men
were beside themselves with hope and happiness. How they
labored, prophesied, exulted ! Surely nothing like it was ever
CREATING NEW STOCK.
307
seen before since the world began. Every one of these wild
cat mines — not mines, but holes in the ground over imaginary
mines — was incorporated and had handsomely engraved
" stock " and the stock was salable, too. It was bought and
sold with a feverish avidity in the boards every day. You
could go up on the mountain side, scratch around and find a
ledge (there was no lack of them), put up a " notice " with a
grandiloquent name in it, start a shaft, get your stock printed,
and with nothing
whatever to prove
that your mine was
worth a straw, you
could put your stock
on the market and
sell out for hundreds
and even thousands
of dollars. To make
riioney, and make it
fastj was a3 easy as
it was to eat your
dinner. Every man
owned "feet" in
fifty difierent wild
cat mines and con-
sidered his fortune
made. Think of a
city with not one
solitary poor 'man in it ! One would suppose that when month
after month went by and still not a wild cat mine [by wild cat
I mean, in general terms, omy claim not located on the mother
vein, *. c, the " Comstock") yielded a ton of rock worth
crushing, the people would begin to wonder if they were not
putting too much faith in their prospective riches ; but there
was not a thought of such a thing. They burrowed away,,
bought and sold, aiid were happy.
New claims were taken up daily, and it was the friendly ,
custom to run straight to the nfewspaper offices, give the re-
A NEW MINE.
308 EDITORIAL PUFFING. -
porter forty or fifty " feet," and get them to go and examine
the mine and publish a notice of it. They did not care a fig
\vh5,t you said about the property so you said something.
Consequently we generally said a word or two to the effect
that the " indications " were good, or that the ledge was " six
feet wide," or that the rock " resembled the Comstock " (and
so it did — but as a general thing the resemblance was not
startling enough to knock you down). If the rock was moder-
ately promising, we followed the custom of the country, used
strong adjectives and frothed at the mouth as if a very marvel
in silver discoveries had transpired. If the mine was a " de-
veloped " one, and had no pay ore to show (and of course it
hadn't), we praised the tunnel ; said it was one of the most
infatuating tunnels in the land; driveled and driveled about
the tunnel till we ran entirely out of ecstasies^— but never said
a word about the rock. We would squander half a column of
adulation on a shaft, or a new wire rope, or a dressed pine
windlass, or a fascinating force pump, and close with a burst of
admiration of the "gentlemanly and efficient Superintendent"
of the mine — but never utter a whisper about the rock. And
those people were always pleased, always satisfied. Occasion-
ally we patched up and varnished our reputation for discrimi-
nation and stern, undeviating accuracy, by giving some old
abandoned claim a blast that ought to have made its dry bones
rattle — and then somebody would seize it and sell it on the
, fleeting notoriety thus conferred upon it.
There was nothing in the shape of a mining, claim that was
not salable. We received presents of " feet " every day. If
we needed a hundred dollars or so, we sold some ; if not, we
hoarded it away, satisfied that it would ultimately be worth
a thousand dollars a foot. I had a trunk about half full of
" stock." When a claim made a stir in the m'arket and went
up to a high figure, I searched through my pile to see if I had
any of its stock — and generally found it.
The prices rose and fell constantly ; but still a fall disturbed
US little, because a thousand dollars a foot was our figure, and
60 we were content to let it flu«tuate as much as it pleased till it
NEIGHBOKLT COMPLIMENTS.
309
reached it. My pile of stock was not all given to me by people
who wished their claims " noticed." At least half of it was
given me by persons who had no thought of such a thing,tand
looked for nothing more than a simple verbal " thank you ; " and
you were not even obliged by law to fiu-nish that. If you are
•coming up the street with a couple
of baskets of apples in your hands,
and you meet a friend, you natu-
rally invite him to take a few.
That describes the condition of
things in Yirginia in the "flush
times." Every man had his pock-
ets full of stock, and it was the
actual custom of the country to
part with small quantities of it to
friends without the asking. Yery
often it was a good idea to close the
^transaction instantly, when a man
offered a stock present to a friend,
for the offer was only good and
binding at that moment, and if
the price went to a high figure
shortly afterward the procrastina- ,
tion was a thing to be regretted.
Mr. Stewart (Senator, now, from
iSTevada) one day told me he
would give me twenty feet of " Justis" stock if I would walk
over to his office. It was worth five or ten dollars a foot. I
asked him to make the offer good for next day, as I was just
going to dinner. He said he would not be in town ; so I
risked it and took my dinner instead of the stock. Within
the week the price went up to seventy dollars and afterward
to a hundred and fifty, but nothing could make that man yield.
I suppose he sold that stock of mine and placed the guilty
proceeds in his own pocket. [My revenge will be found in
the accompanying portrait.] I met three friends one after-
noon, who said they had been buying "Overman" stock at
"TRT A FEW?"
310
DELASrS ABE DANGEROUS.
POKTKAIT OF MK. STEWART.
auction at eight dollars a foot. One said if I would come up
to liis ofSce he would give me fifteen feet; another said he
would add fifteen ; the third said he would do the same. But
I was going after an inquest
and could not stop. A few
weeks afterward they sold all
their " Overman " at six hun-
dred dollars a foot and gen-
erously came around to tell
me about it — and also to urge
me to accept of the next forty-
five feet of it that people tried
to force on me. These are
actual facts, and I could make
the Ust a long one and still
confine myself strictly to the
truth. Many a time friends
gave us as much as twenty -five feet of stock that was selling
at twenty-five, dollars a foot, and they thought no more of it
than they would of oifering a guest a cigar. These were
"flush times" indeed! I thought they were going to last
always, but somehow I never was much of a prophet.
To show what a wild spirit possessed the mining brain of
the community, I will remark that "claims" were actually
" located " in excavations for , cellars, where the pick had ex-
posed what seemed to be quartz veins — and not cellars in the
suburbs, either, but in the very heart of the city ; and forth-
with stock would be issued and thrown on the market. It was
small matter who the cellar belonged to — the " ledge " belonged
to the finder, and unless the United States government inter-
fered (inasmuch as the government holds the primary right to
mines of the noble metals in Nevada — or at least did then),
it was considered to be his privilege to work it. Imagine a
stranger staking out a mining claim among the costly shrub-
bery m your front yard and calmly proceeding to lay waste
the ground with pick and shovel andblasting powder ! It has
been often done in California. In the middle of one of the
SALTING MINES.
311
principal business streets of Virginia, a man "located" a
mining claim and began a shaft on it. He gave me a hundred
feet of the stock and I sold it for a fine suit of clothes beeauso
I was afraid somebody would fall down the shaft and sue for
damages. I owned in another claim that was located in the
middle of another street ; and to show how absurd people can
be, that "East India" stock (as it was called) sold briskly
although there was an ancient tunnel running directly under
the claim and any man could go into it and see that it did not
cut a quartz ledge or anything that remotely resembled one.
One plan of acquiring sudden wealth was to " salt " a wild
cat claim and sell out while the excitement was up. The proeess
was simple.
The schemer
located a
worthless
ledge, sunk
a shaft on it,
bought a
wagon load
of rich "Corn-
stock" ore,
dumped a
portion of it
into the shaft
and piled the
rest by its
side, above
ground.
Then he
showed the
property to a
simpleton
and sold it to
him at a^ high figure. , Of course the wagon load of rich ore
was all that the victim ever got out of his purchase. A
most remarkable case of "salting" was that of the "North
Ophir." It was claimed that this vein was- a remote "exten-
6ELLmO A Mini:.
313 A TKAGEDIAN IN A NEW ROLE.
sion " of the original " Ophir," a valuable mine on the " Com-
stock." For a few days everybody was talking about the rich
developments in the North Ophir. It was said that it yielded
perfectly pure silver in small, solid lumps. I went to the
place with the owners, and found a shaft six or eight feet
deep, in the bottom of which was a badly shattered vein of
dull, yellowish, unpromising rock. One would as soon expect
to find silver in a grindstone. We got out a pan of the rub-
bish and washed it in a puddle, and sure enough, among the
sediment we found half a dozen black, bullet-looking pellets
of unimpeachable " native " silver. Nobody had ever heard
of such a thing before ; science could not account for such a
queer novelty. The stock rose to sixty-five dollars a foot, and
at this figure the world-renowned tragedian, McKean Bucha-
nan, bought a commanding interest and prepared to quit the
stage once more— rhe was always doing that. And then it
transpired that the mine had been " salted " — and not in any
hackneyed way, either, but in a singularly bold, barefaced and
peculiarly original and outrageous fashion. On one of the
lumps of " native " silver was discovered the minted legend,
" TED States of," and then it was plainly apparent that the
mine had been " salted" with melted half-dollars ! The lumps
thus obtained had been blackened till they resembled native
silver, and were then mixed with the shattered rock in the
bottom of the shaft. It is literally true. Of course the price
of the stock at once fell to nothing, and the tragedian was
ruined. But for this calamity we might have lost McKean
Buchanan from the stage.
OHAPTEE XLY.
THE " flusli times " lield bravely on. Sometliiiig over two
years before, Mr. Goodman and another journeyman
printer, had borrowed forty dollars and set ont from San
Francisco to try their fortunes in the new city of Virginia.
They found the Territorial Enterprise, a poverty-stricken
weekly journal, gasping for breath and likely to die. They
bought it, type, fixtures, "good-wiU and all, for a thousand dol-
lars, on long time. The editorial sanctum, news-room, press-
room, publication office, bed-chamber, parlor, and kitchen were
all compressed into one apartment and it was a small one,
too. The editors and printers slept on the floor, a China-
man did their cooking, and the "imposing-stone" was the
general dinner table. But now things were changed. The
paper was a great daily, printed by steam ; there were five
editors and twenty-three compositors; the subscription price
was sixteen dollars a year ; the advertising rates were exorbi-
tant, and the columns crowded. The paper was clearing from
six to ten thousand dollars a month, and the " Enterprise Build-
ing" was finished and ready for occupation — a stately fire-
proof brick. Every day from five all the way up to eleven
columns of "live" advertisements were left out or crowded
into spasmodic and irregular "supplements."
The " Gould & Curry " company were erecting a monster
hundred-stamp mUl at a cost that ultimately fell little short of
a million dollars. Gould & Curry stock paid heavy dividends
— a rare thing, and an experience confined to the dozen or fif-
314: SANITARY COMMISSION FUND.
teen claims located on the " main lead/' the " Comstock." The
Superintendent of the Gould & Curry lived, rent free, in a
fine house built and furnished by the company. He drove a
fine pair of horses which were a present from the company,
and his salary was twelve thousand dollars a year. The super-
intendent of another of the greatj mines traveled in grand
etate, had a salary of twent;y-eight thousand dollars a year, and
in a law suit in after days claimed that he was to have had
one per cent, on the gross yield of the bullion likewise.
Money was wonderfully plenty. The trouble ,was, not
how to get it, — but how to spend it, how to lavish it,
get rid of it, squander it. And so it was a happy thing
that just at this juncture the news came over the wires
vthat a great United States Sanitary Commission had been
formed and money was wanted for the relief of the wounded
sailors and soldiers of the Union languishing in the Eastern
hospitals. Right on the heels of it came word that San
Francisco had responded superbly before the telegram was
half a day - old. Virginia rose as one man ! A Sanitary
Committee was hurriedly organized, d,nd its chairman mounted
a vacant cart in C street and tried to make the clamorous mul-
titude understand that the rest of the committee were flying
hither and thither and working with all their might and main,
and that if the town would only Avait an hour, an office would
be ready, books opened, and the Commission prepared to
receive contributions. His voice was drowned and his infor-
mation lost in a ceaseless roar of cheers, and demands that
the money be received now — they swore they would not wait.
The chairman pleaded and argued, but, deaf to all entreaty,
men plowed their via.j through the throng and rained checks
of gold coin into the cart and skurried away for more. Hands
clutching money, were thrust aloft out of the jam by men who
hoped this eloquent appeal would cleave a road their strug-
glings could not open. The very Chinamen and Indians
caught the excitement and dashed theif half doUars into the
cart without knowing or caring what it was all about. "Women
plunged into the crowd, trimly attired, fought their way to the
WILD ENTHUSIASM OF THE PEOPLfi.
316
cart witlj their coin, and emerged again, by and by, ■witb tbeir
apparel in a state of hopeless dilapidation. It was the wildest
mob Yirginia had ever seen and the most determined and un-
governable ; and when at last it abated its fury and dispersed,
couldn't wait.
it had not a penny in its pocket. To use its own phraseology,
it came there " flush " and went away " busted."
After that, the Commission got itself into systematic work-
ing order, and for weeks the contributions flowed into its
treasury in a generous stream. Individuals and all sorts of
organizations levied upon themselves a regular weekly tax fojr
316 THE SANITARY FLOUR SACK.
the sanitary fund, graduated according to their means, and
there was not another grand universal outburst till the famous
"Sanitary Flour Sack" came our way. Its history is peculiar
and interesting. A former schoolmate of mine, by the name
of Eeuel Gridley, was living at the little city of Austin, in
the Reese river country, at this time, and was the Democratic
candidate for mayor. He and the Republican candidate made
an agreement that the defeated man should be publicly pre-
sented with a fifty-pound sack of flour by the successful one,
and should carry it home on his shoulder. Gridley was
defeated. The new mayor gave him the sack of flour, and he
shouldered it and carried it a mile or two, from Lower Austin
to his home in Upper Austin, attended by a band of music and
the whole population. Arrived there, he said he did not need
the flour, and asked what the people thought he had better do
with it. A voice said :
" Sell it to the highest bidder, for the benefit of the Sani-
tary fund."
The suggestion was greeted with a round of applause, and
Gridley mounted a dry-goods box and assumed the role of
auctioneer. The bids went higher and higher, as the sympa-
thies of the pioneers awoke and expanded, till at last the sack
was knocked down to a mill man at two hundred and fifty
dollars, and his check taken. He was asked where he would
have the flour delivered, and he said :
" Nowhere — sell it again."
Now the cheers went up royally, and the multitude were
fairly in the spirit of the thing. So Gridley stood there and
shouted and perspired till the sun went down ; and when the
crowd dispersed he had sold the sack to three hundred different
people, and had taken in eight thousand dollars in gold. And
still the flour sack was in his possession.
The news came to Virginia, and a tele^am went back :
" Fetch along your flour sack ! "
Thirty-six hours afterward Gridley arrived, and an after-
noon mass meeting was held in the Opera House, and the
auction began. But the sack had come sooner than it was
Ill t - .
'li' I 1. ii'u _i -. !,V ''
' • \ I
THE SACK IN GOLD HILL AND DAYTON. 317
expecte(i; the people were not thorouglily aroused, and the
6al6 dragged. At nightfall only five thousand dollars had
been secured, and there was a crestfallen feeling in the com-
munity. However, there was no disposition to let the matter
rest here and acknowledge vanquishment at the hands of the
village of Austin. Till late in the night the principal citizens
were at work arranging the morrow's campaign, and when
they went to bed they had no fears for the result. At elpven
the next morning a procession of open carriages, attended by
clamorous bands of music and adorned with a moving display
of flags, filed along C street and was soon in danger of
blockade by a huzzaing multitude of citizens. In the first
carriage sat Gridley, with the flour sack in prominent view,
the latter splendid with bright paint and gilt lettering ; also in
the same carriage sat, the mayor and the recorder. The other
carriages contained the Common Council, the editors and
reporters, and other people of imposing consequence. The
crowd pressed to the comer of C and Taylor streets, expecting
the sale to begin there, but they were disappointed, and also
unspeakably surprised; for the cavalcade moved on as if
Virginia had ceased to be of importance, and took its way
over the "divide," toward the small town of Gold HilL
Telegrams had gone ahead to Gold Hill, Silver City and
Dayton, and those communities were at fever heat and
rife for the conflict. It was a very hot day, and wonderfully
dusty. At the end of a short half hour we descended into
Gold Hill with drums beating and colors flying, and enveloped
in imposing clouds of dust. The whole population — men,
women and children. Chinamen and Indians, were massed in
the main street, all the flags in town were at the mast head,
and the blare of the bands was drowned in cheers. Gridley
stood up and asked who would make the flrst bid for the
National Sanitary Flour Sack. Gen. "W". said :
" The Yellow Jacket silver mining company offers a thou-
sand dollars, coin ! "
A tempest of applause followed. A telegram carried
the news to Yirginia, and fifteen minutes afterward that city's
318 RETURNED TO VIRGINIA CITY.
population was massed in the streets devouring the tidings —
for it was part of the programme that the bulletin boards
should do a good work that day. Every few minutes a new
dispatch was bulletined from Gold Hill, and still the excite-
ment grew. Telegrams began to return to us from Virginia
beseeching Gridley to bring back the flour sack ; but such
was not the plan of the campaign. At the end of an hour
Gold Hill's small population had paid a figure for the flour
sack that awoke all the enthusiasm of Virginia when the grand
total was displayed upon the bulletin boards. Then the
Gridley cavalcade moved on, a giant refreshed with new lager
beer and plenty of it — for the people brought it to the
carriages without waitinsr to measure it — and within three
hours more the expedition had carried Silver City and Dayton
by storm and was on its way back covered with glory. Every
move had been telegraphed and bulletined, and as the pro-
cession entered Virginia and filed down C street at half past
eight in the evening the town was abroad in the thorough-
fares, torches were glaring, flags flying, bands playing, cheer
on cheer cleaving the air, and the city ready to surrender at
discretion. The auction began, every bid was greeted with
bursts of applause, and at the end of two hours and a half a
population of fifteen thousand souls had paid in coin for a
fifty-pound sack af flour a sum equal to forty thousand dollars
in greenbacks ! It was at a rate in the neighborhood of three
dollars for each man, woman and child of the population.
The grand total would have been twice as large, but the
streets were very narrow, and hundreds who wanted to bid
could not get within a block of the stand, and could not make
themselves heard. These grew tired of waiting and many of
tliem went home long before the auction was over. This was
the greatest day Virginia ever saw, perhaps.
Gridley sold tlie sack in Carson city and several California
towns ; also in San Francisco. Then he took it east and sold
it in one or two Atlantic cities, I think. I am not sure of
that, but I know that he finally carried it to St. Louis, where a
monster Sanitary Fair was being held, and after selling it
MR. GKIDLET AND HIS LABOES.
319
tHere for a large sum and helping on the enthusiasm by dis-
playing the portly silver bricks which Nevada's donation had
produced, he had the flour baked up into small cakes and re-
tailed them at high prices.
It was estimated that when the flour sack's mission was
ended it had been sold for a grand total of a hundred and fifty
thousand dollars in greenbacks! This is probably the only
instance on record where common family flour brought three
thousand dollars a pound in the public market.
It is due to Mr. Gridley's memory to mention that the
expenses of his sanitary flour sack expedition of fifteen thou-
sand miles, going a^nd returning, were paid in large part, if
not entirely, out of his own pocket. The time he gave to it
was not less than three months. Mr. Gridley was a soldier
in the Mexican war and a pioneer Califomian. He died at
Stockton, California, in December, 1870, greatly regretted.
OHAPTEE XLYI.
THERE were nabobs in those days — ^in tbe " fiufeli times,"
I mean. Every rich strike in the mines created one or
two. I call to mind several of these. They were careless,
easy-going fellows, as a general thing, and the community at
large was as much benefited by their riches as they were
themselves — possibly more, in some cases.
Two cousins, teamsters, did some hauling for a man and
had to take a small, segregated portion of a silver mine in heu
of $300 cash. They gave an outsider a third to open the
mine, and they went on teamiag. But not long. Ten months
afterward the mine was out of debt and paying each owner
$8,000 to $10,000 a month— say $100,000 a year.
One of the earliest nabobs that l^evada was delivered of
wore $6,000 worth of diamonds in his bosom, and swore he
was unhappy because he could not spend his money as fast as
he made it.
Another Nevada nabob boasted an income that often
reached $16,000 a month ; and he used to love to tell how he
had worked in the very mine that yielded it, for five dollars a
day, when he first came to the country.
The silver and sage-brush State has knowledge of another
of these pets of fortune — ^lifted from actual poverty to affluence
almost in a single night — who was able to oflFer $100,000 for a
position of high official distinction, shortly afterward, and did
offer it — but failed to get it, his politics not being as sound as
his bank account.
A TRAVELING NABOB.
321
Then there was John Smith. He was a good,* honest, kilid-
hearted soul, born and reared in the lower ranks of life, and
miraculously ignorant. He drove a team, and owned a small
ranch — a ranch that paid him a comfortable living, for al-
though it yielded but little hay, what little it did yield was
worth from $250 to $300 in gold per ton in the market.
Presently Smith traded a few acres of the ranch for a small
undeveloped silver mine in Gold Hill. He opened the mine
and built a little unpretending ten-stamp mill. Eighteen
months afterward he retired from the hay business, for his
mining income had reached a most comfortable figure. Some
people said it was $30,000 a month, and others said it was
$60,000. Smith was very rich at any rate.
And then he went to Europe and traveled. And when he
came back he was never tired of telling about the fine hogs he
had seen in England, and '
the gorgeous sheep he had
seen in Spain, and the fine
cattle he had noticed in the
vicinity of Eome. He was
full of the wonders of the
old world, and advised every-
body to travel. He said a
man never imagined what
surprising things there were
in ■ the world till he had
traveled.
One day, on board ship,
the passengers made up a
pool of $500, which wac to
be the property of the man
who sjiould come nearest to
guessing the run of the ves-
sel for the next twenty-four
hours. Next- day, toward
noon, the figures were all in the purser's hands in sealed en-
velopes. Smith was serene and happy, for he had been brib-
21t
A NABOB.
322 INSTANCES OF SUDDEN WEALTH.
ing the engineer. But another party won the prize ! Smith
said:
" Here, that won't do ! He guessed two miles wider of
the mark than I did."
The purser said, "Mr. Smith, you missed it further than
any man on board. "We traveled two hundred and eight miles
yesterday."
' "Well, sir," said Smith, "that's just where I've got you,
for I guessed two hundred and nine. If you'll look at my
figgers again you'll find a 2 and two O's, which stands for 200,
don't it ? — and after 'em you'll find a 9 (2009), which stands
for two hundred and nine. I reckon I'll take that money, if
you please."
The Gould & Curry claim comprised twelve hundred feet,
and it all belonged originally to the two men whose names it
bear?. Mr. Curry owned two thirds of it — and he said that he
sold it out for twenty-five hundred dollars in cash, and an old
plug horse that ate up his market value in hay and barley in
seventeen days by the watch. And he said that Gould sold
out for a pair of second-hand govermnent blankets and a bot-
tle of whisky that killed nine men in tliree hours, and that an
unoffending stranger that smelt the cork was disabled for hfe.
Four years afterward the mine thus disposed of was worth in
the San Francisco market seven millions six hundred thousand
dollars in gold coin.
In the early days a poverty-stricken Mexican who lived in
a canyon directly back of Virginia City, had a stream of water
as large as a man's wrist trickling from the hill-side on his
premises. The Ophir Company segregated a himdred feet of
their mine and traded it to him for the stream of water. The
hundred feet proved to be the richest part of the entire
mine ; four years after the swap, its market value (including
its mill) was $1,500,000.
An individual who owned twenty feet in the Ophir mine
before its gi'eat riches were revealed to men, traded it for. a
horse, and a very sorry looking brute he was, too. A year or
so afterward, when Ophir stock went up to $E,000 a foot, this
A TELEGRAPH OPERATOR.
323
man, vfho had not a cent, used, to say he was the most startling
example of magnificence and misery the world had ever seen
— because he was able to ride a sixty-thousand-dollar horse —
yet could not scrape up cash enough to buy a saddle, and was
obliged to borrow one
or ride bareback. He
said if fortune were to
give him another sixty-
thousand-dollar horse it
would ruin him.
A youth of nineteen,
who was a telegraph
operator in Virginia on
a salary of a hundred
dollars a month, and
who, when he could not
make out German names
in the list of San Fran-
cisco steamer arrivals,
used to ingeniously se-
lect and supply substi-
tutes for them out of an
old Berlin city directory,
made himself rich by
watching the mining
telegrams that passed through his hands and buying and sell-
ing stocks accordingly, through a friend in San Francisco.
Once when a private dispatch was sent from Yirginia an-
nouncing a rich strike in a prominent mine and advising that
the matter be kept secret till a large amount of the stock could
bo secured, lie bought forty " feet " of the stock at twenty
dollars a foot, and afterward sold half of it at eight hundred
dbllars a foot and the rest at double that figure. "Within three
months he was worth $150,000, and had resigned his telegraphic
position.
Another telegraph operator who had been discharged by
the company for divulging the secrets of the office, agreed
MAGNIFICENCE AND MISERY.
324 A HUNDRED DOLLAR INVESTMENT.
witli a moneyed man in San Francisco to famish him the
•result of a great Virginia mining lawsuit -within an hour after
its private reception by the parties to it in San Francisco.
For this he was to have a large percentage of the profits on
purchases and sales made on it by his fellow-conspirator. So
he went, disguised as a teamster, to a little wayside telegraph
oflBce in the mountains, got acquainted with the operator, and
sat in the office day after day, smoldng his pipe, complaining
that his team was fagged out and unable to travel — and mean-
time listening to the dispatches as they passed clicking through
the machine froipi Virginia. Finally the private dispatch an-
nouncing the result of the lawsuit sped over the wires, and as
soon as he heard it he telegraphed his friend in San Francisco :
" Am tired waiting. Shall sell the team and go home."
It was the signal agreed upon. The word "waiting" left
out, would have signified that the suit had gone the other way.
The mock teamster's friend picked up a deal of the mining
stock, at low figures, before the news became public, and a
fortune was the result..
For a long time after one of the great Virginia mines had
been incorporated, about fifty feet of the original location were
still in the hands of a man who had never signed the incorpo-
ration papers. The stock became very valuable, and every
effort was made to find this man, but he had disappeared.
Once it was heard that he was in New York, and one or two
speculators went east but failed to find him. Once the news
came that he was in the Bermudas, and straightway a specu-
lator or two hurried east and sailed for Bermuda — but he was
not there. Finally he was heard of in Mexico, and a friend
of his, a bar-keeper on a salary, scraped together a little money
and sought him out, bought Ms "feet" for a himdred doUars,
retm-ned and sold the property for $75,000.
But why go on 1 The traditions of Silverland are filled
with instances like these, and I would never get through enu-
merating them were I to attempt do it. I only desired to give
the reader an idea of a peculiarity of the " flush times " which
I could not present so strikingly in any other way, and which
NEVADA NABOBS IN NEW YOKK. 325
some mention of vras necessary to a realizing comprehension
of tlie time arid the country.
I was personally acquainted with the majority of the
nabobs I have referred to, and so, for old acquaintance sake,
I have shifted their occupations and experiences around in
such a way as to keep the Pacific public from recognizing
these once notorious men. No longer notorious, for the
majority of them have drifted back into poverty and obscurity
again.
In Nevada there used to be current the story of an adven-
ture of two of her nabobs, which may or may not have
occurred. I give it for what it is worth :
Col. Jim had seen somewhat of the world, and knew more
or less of its ways ; but Col. Jack was from the back settle-
ments of the States, had led a life of arduous toil, and had
never seen a city. These two, blessed with sudden wealth,
projected a visit to New York, — Col. Jack to see the sights,
and Col. Jim to guard his unsophistication from misfortune.
They reached San Francisco in the night, and sailed in the
morning. Arrived in New York, Col. Jack said :
".I've heard tell of carriages all my life, and now I mean to
have a ride in one ; I don't care what it costs. Come along."
They stepped out on the sidewalk!^ and Col. Jim called a
stylish barouche. But Col. Jack said :
" JVo, sir ! None of your cheap-John turn-outs for me.
I'm here to have a good time, and money ain't any object. I
mean to have the nobbiest rig that's, going. Now here comes
the very trick. Stop that yaller one with the pictures on it —
don't you fret — I'll stand all the expenses myself."
So Col. Jim stopped an empty omnibus, and they got in.
Said Col. Jack :
"Ain't it gay, though? Oh, no, I reckon not! Cush-
ions, and windows, and pictures, till you can't rest. What
would the boys say if they could see us cutting a swell like
this in New York ? By George, I wish they ccndd see us."
Then he put his ,head out of the window, and shouted to
the driver :
826
"CHARTERED SHEBANG."
" Say, Johnny, this suits me ! — suits yours truly, you bet,
you ! I want this shebang all day. I'm on it, old man ! Let
'em out ! Make 'em go ! "We'll make it all right with you,
, sonny ! "
The driver passed his hand through the strap-hole, and tap-
ped for his fare — ^it was before the gongs came into common
use. Col. Jack took the hand, and shook it cordially. He
said:
"You twig me, old pard! All right between gents.
Smell of that, and see how you like it ! "
And he put a twenty-dollar gold piece in the driver's
hand. After a moment
the driver said he could
not make change.
" Bother the change !
Eide it out. Put it in
your pocket."
Then to Col. Jim, with
a sounding slap on his
thigh :
"Ain't it style, though ?
Hanged if I don't hire
this thing every day tdv a
week."
The omnibus stopped,
and a young lady got in.
Col. Jack stared a moment,
then nudged Col. Jim with
liis elbow :
"Don't say a word,"
he whispered. "Let her
ride, if she wants to. Gracious, there's room enough."
The young lady got out her porte-monnaie, and handed her
fare to Col. Jack.
" "What's tliis for ? " said he.
" Give it to the driver, please."
"Take back your money, madam.. .We can't allow it.
A FKIENDLY DKIVEB.
A FINE KIDE ON BROADWAY.
327
You're welcome to ride here as long as you please, but this she-
bang's chartered, and we can't let you pay a cent."
The girl shrunk into a comer, bewildered. An old lady
with a basket climbed in, and proffered her fare.
" Excuse me," said Col. Jack. " You're perfectly welcome
here, madam, but we can't allow you to pay. Set right down
there, mum, and don't you be the least uneasy. Make your-
self just as free as if you was in your own turn-out."
"Within two minutes, three gentlemen, two fat women, and
a couple of children, entered.
" Come right along, friends," said Col. Jack ; " don't mind
us. This is a free blow-out." Then he whispered to Col.
Jim, " New York ain't no sociable place, I don't reckon — it
ain't no name for it ! "
He resisted every effort to pass fares to the driver, and
made everybody cordially
welcome. The situation
dawned on the people, and
they pocketed their money,
and delivered themselves
up to covert enjoyment of
the episode. Half a dozen
more passengers entered.
" Oh, there's plenty
of room," said Col. Jack.
" "Wallf right in, and make
yourselves at home. A
blow-out ain't worth any-
thing as a blow-out, unless
a body has company." Then in a whisper to Col. Jim : " But
ainH these New Yorkers friendly ? And ain't they cool about
it, too ? Icebergs ain't anywhere. I reckon they'd tackle a
hearse, if it was going their way."
More passengers got in ; more yet, and still more. Both
seats were filled, and a file of men were standing up, holding
on to the cleats overhead. Parties with baskets and bundles
were climbing up on the roof. Half-suppressed laughter rip-
pled up from all sides.
ASTONISHES THE NATIVES.
NEW YORKERS BECOME SOCIABLE.
" Well, for clean, cool, otit-aiid-out cheek, if tWs don't bang
anythiEg tliat ever I saw, I'm an Injun ! " whispered Col.
Jack.
A Chinaman crowded his way in.
" I weaken ! " said Col. Jack. " Hold on, driver ! Keep
your seats, ladies and gents. Just make yourselves free —
everything's paid for. Driver, rustle these folks around as
long as they're a mind to go — friends of ours, yon know.
Take them everywheres — and if you want more money, come
COL. JACK "WEAKESS.
to the St. Nicholas, and we'll make it all right. Pleasant
journey to you, ladies and gents— go it just as long as you
please — ^it shan't cost you a cent ! "
The two .comrades got out, and Col. Jack said :
" Jimmy, it's the soeiablest place / ever saw. The China-
man waltzed in as comfortable as anybody. If we'd staid
awhile, I reckon we'd had some niggers. B' George, we'll,
have to barricade our doors to-night, or some of these ducks
will be trying to sleep with us."
OHAPTEE XLYII.
SOMEBODY has said that in order to know a community,
one must observe the style of its funerals and know
what manner of men they bury with most ceremony. I can-
not say which class we buried with most eclat in our " flush
times," the distinguished public benefactor or the distinguished
rough — ^possibly the two chief grades or grand divisions of
society honored their illustrious dead about equally; and
hence, no doubt the philosopher I haye quoted from would
have needed to see two representative funerals in Virginia
before forming his estimate of the people.
There was a grand time over Buck Fanshaw when he died.
He was a representative citizen. He had "killed his man" —
not in his own quarrel, it is true, but in defence of a stranger
unfairly beset byjiumbers. He had kept a sumptuous saloon.
He had been the proprietor of a dashing helpmeet whom he
could have discarded without the formality of a divorce. He
had held a high position in the fire department and been a
very "Warwick in politics. When he died there was great
lamentation throughout the town, but especially in the vast
bottom-stratum of society.
On the inquest it was shown that Buck Fanshaw, in the
delirium of a wasting typhoid fever, had taken arsenic, shot
himself through the body, cut his throat, and jumped out of a
four-story window and broken his neck — and after due delib-
eration, the jury, sad and tearful, but with intelligence un-
blinded by its sorrow, brought in a verdict of death " by the
visitation of God." What could the world do without juries ?
Prodigious preparations were made for the funeral. All
die vehicles in town were hired, all the saloons put in mourn-
330 SCOTTT BEIGGS THE COMMITTEEMAN.
ing, all the municipal and fire-company flags hung at half-mast,
and all the firemen ordered to muster in uniform and bring
their machines duly draped in black. Now — let us remark in
parenthesis — as all the peoples of the earth had representative
adventurers in the Silverland, and as each adventurer had
brought the slang of his nation or his locality with him, the
combination made the slang of Nevada the richest and the
most infinitely varied and copious that had ever existed any-
where in the world, perhaps, except in the mines of California
in the " early days." Slang was the language of Nevada. It
was hard to preach a sermon without it, and be understood.
Such phrases as " You bet ! " " Oh, no, I reckon not ! " " No
Irish need apply," and a hundred others, became so common
as to fall from the lips of a speaker unconsciously — and very
often when they did not touch the subject under discussion
and consequently failed to mean anything.
After Buck Fanshaw's inquest, a meeting of the short^
haired brotherhood was held, for nothing can be done on the
Pacific coast without a public meeting and an expression of
sep.timent. Eegretful resolutions were passed and various
committees appointed ; among others, a committee of one was
deputed to call on the minister, a fragile, gentle ,spii'ituel new
fledgling from an Eastern theologic&l seminary, and as yet im-
acquainted with the ways of the mines. The committeeman,
"Scotty" Briggs, made his visit; and in after days it was
"worth something to hear -the minister tell about it. Scotty
was a stalwart rough,, whose customary suit, when on weighty
oflBcial business, like committee work, was a fire helmet, flam-
ing red flannel shirt, patent leather belt with spanner and
revolver attached, coat hung over aiTD, and pants stuffed into
boot tops. He formed something of a contrast to the pale
theological student. It is fair to say of Scotty, however, in
passing, that he had a warm heart, and a strong love for his
friends, and never entered into a quarrel when he could rear
sonably keep out of it. Indeed, it was commonly said that
whenever one of Scotty's fights was investigated, it always
turned out that it had originally been no affair of his, but that
out of native goodheartedness he had dropped in of his own
INTERVIEW WITH THE CLERGYMAN. 3,31
accord to help tlie man who was getting the worst of it. He
and Buck Fanshaw were bosom friends, for years, and had
often taken adventSrous "pot-luck" together. On one occar
sion, they had thrown off their coats and taken the weaker side
in a fight among strangers, and after gaining a hard-earned
victory, turned and found that the men they were helping had
deserted early, and not only that, but had stolen their coats
and made off with them ! But to return to Scotty's visit to
the minister. He was on a sorrowful mission, now, and his
face was the picture of woe. Being admitted to the presence,
he sat down before the clergyman, placed his fire-hat on an
unfinished manuscript, sermon under the minister's nose, took
from it a red silk handkerchief, wiped his brow and heaved a
sigh of dismal impressiveness, explanatory of his business.
COMMITTEEMAN AMD MrSISTEB.
He choked, and even shed tears ; but with an effort he
mastered his voice and said in lugubrious tones :
"Are you the duck that runs the gospel-mill next door?"
"Am I the— pardon me, I believe I do not understand?"
"^ith another sigh and a half-sob, Scotty rejoined :
332 8C0TTT CAN'T PLAT HIS HAND.
" Why joxx see we are in a bit of trouble, and the boys
thought maybe you would give us a lift, if we'd tackle you —
tliat is, if I've got the rights of it and you are the head clerk
of the doxology-works next door."
'■ I am the shepherd in charge of the flock whose fold is
next door."
"The which?"
" The spiritual adviser of the little company of believers
whose sanctuary adjoins these premises."
Scotty scratched his head, reflected a moment, and then
said :
" You ruther hold over me, pard. I reckon I can't call
that hand. Ante and pass the buck."
" How ? I beg pardon. What did I understand you to
say?"
"Well, you've ruther got the bulge on me. Or niaybe
we've both got the bulge, somehow. You don't smoke me
and I don't smoke you. You see, one of the boys has passed
in his checks and we want to give him a good send-off, and so
the thing I'm on now is to roust out somebody to jerk a little
chin-music for us and waltz him through handsome."
"My friend, I seem to grow more and more bewildered.
Your observations are wholly incomprehensible to me. Can-
not you simplify them in some way? At first I thought
perhaps I understood you, but I grope now. Would it not
expedite matters if you restricted yourself to categorical
statements of fact unencumbered with obstructing accumula-
tions of metaphor and allegory ? "
Another pause, and more reflection. Then, said Scotty :
" I'll have to pass, I judge."
"I-Iow?"
" You've raised me out, pard."
" I still fail to catch your meaning."
" Why, that last lead of yourn is too many for me — that's
the idea. I- can't neither trump nor follow suit." '
The clergyman sank back in his chair perplexed. Scoity
leaned his head on his hand and gave himself up to thought.
Presently his face came up, sorrowful but confident. 1
THE MINISTER A LITTLE MIXED. 333.
" I've got it now, so's you can savvy," he said. " What we
want is a gospel-sharp. See ? "
"A what?"
" Gospel-sharp. Parson."
" Oh ! Why did you not say. so before ? I am a clergy-
man— a parson."
" I^ow you talk ! You see my blind and straddle it like a
man. Put it there ! " — extending a brawny paw, which closed
over the minister's small hand and gave it a shake indicative
of fraternal sympathy and fervent gratification.
" Now we're all right, pard. Let's start fresh. Don't you
mind my snuffling a little — becuz we're in a power of trouble.
You see, one of the boys has gone up the flume — "
" Gone where ? "
"Up the flume — throwed up the, sponge, you understand."
" Thrown up the sponge ? "
" Yes — kicked the bucket — "
" Ah — ^has departed to that mysterious country from whose
bourne no traveler retui'ns."
" Keturn ! I reckon not. Why pard, he's dead ! "
" Yes, I understand."
" Oh, you do ? Well I thought maybe you might be get-
ting tangled some more. Yes, you see he's dead again — "
" Again ? Why, has he ever been dead before ? "
" Dead before ? No ! Do you reckon a man has got as
many lives as a cat ? But you bet you he's awful dead now,
poor old boy, and I wish Fd never seen this day. I don't
want no better friend than Buck Fanshaw. I knowed him by
the back ; and when I know a man and like him, I freeze to
him — you hear me. Take him all round, pard, there never
was a bullier man in the mines. No man ever knowed Buck
Fanshaw to go back on a friend. But it's all up, you know,
it's all iip. It ain't no use. They've scooped him."
"Scooped him?"
"Yes — death has. Well, well, well, we've got to give him
up. Yes indeed. It's a kind of a hard world, after all, amH
it ? But pard, he was a rustler ! You ought to seen him get
started once. He was a bully boy with a glass eye ! Just spit
334 BEGINNING TO SEE.
in his face and give him room according to his strength, and
it was just beautiful to see him peel and go in. He was the
worst son of a thief that ever drawed breath. Pard, he was
on it ! He was on it bigger than an Injun ! "
"On it? On what?"
" On the shoot. On the shoulder. On the fight, you un-
derstand. He didn't give a continental for a/nyhodij. Beg your
pardon, friend, for coming so near saying a cuss-word-^-but you
see I'm on an awful strain, in this palaver, on account of hav*
ing to cramp down and draw everything so mild. Eut we've
got to -give him up. There ain't any getting around that, I
don't reckon. Now if we can get you to help plant him — "
" Preach the funeral discourse ? Assist at the obsequies ? "
" Obs'quies is good. Yes. That's it — -that's our little
game. "We are going to get the thing up regardless, you
know. He was always nifty himself, and so you bet you his
funeral ain't going to be no slouch — solid silver door-plate on
his coffin, six plumes on the hearse, and a nigger on the box in
a biled shirt and a plug hat — ^how's that for high ? And we'U
take care oiyou, pard. We'll fix you all right. Tliere'U be a
kerridge for you j and whatever you want, you just 'scape out
and we'U 'tend to it. "We've got a shebang fixed up for you to
stand behind, in No. I's house, and don't you be ajfraid. Just
go in and toot your horn, if you don't sell a clam. Put Buck
through as bully as you can, pard, for anybody that knowed
him will tell you that he was one of the whitest men that was
ever in the mines. You can't draw it too strong. He never
could stand it to see things going wrong. He's done more to
make this town quiet and peaceable than any man in it. I've
seen him lick four Greasers in eleven minutes, myself. If a
thing wanted regulating, he warn't a man to go browsing
around after somebody to do it, but he would prance in and
regulate it himself. He warn't a Catholic. Scasely. He was
down on 'em. His word was, ' No Irish need apply I ' But it
didn't make no diflference about that when it came down to
what a man's rights was — and so, when some roughs jumped
the Catholic bone-yard and started in to stake out town-lots
in it he went for 'em ! And he cleaned 'em, too ! I was there,
pard, and I seen it mysehf."
'ALL DOWN BUT NINE."
335
" That was very well indeed — at least the impulse was —
whether the act was strictly defensible or not. Had deceased
SCOTTT REGULATmO MA.TTEES.
any religions convictions ? That is to say, did he feel a de-
pendence upon, or acknowledge allegiance to a higher power ? '
More reflection.
" I reckon you've stumped me again, pard. Could you say
it over once more, and say it slow ? "
" Well, to simplify it somewhat, was he, or rather had he
ever been connected with any organization sequestered frojn
secular concerns and devoted to self-sacrifice in the interests
of morality?"
" All down but nine — set 'em up on the other alley, pard."
" What did I understand you to say ? "
" Why, you're most too many for me, you know. When
you get in "^th your left I hunt grass every time. Every
time you draw, you fill ; but I don't seem to have any luck.
Lets have a new deal."
336 BUCK FANSHAW AS A CITIZEN.
" How ? Begin again ? "
"That's it."
" Very well. Was he a good man, and — "
" There — I see that ; don't put up another chip tUl I look
at my hand. A good man, says you ? Pard, it ain't no name
for it. He was the best man that ever — ^pard, you would
have doted on that man; He could lam any galoot of his
inches in America. It was him that put down the riot last
election before it got a start ; and everybody said he was the
only man that co\ild have done it. He waltzed in with a
spanner in one hand and a trumpet in the other, and sent
fourteen men home on a shutter in less than three minutes. He
had .that riot all broke up and prevented nice before anybody
ever got a chance to strike a blow. He was always for peace,
and he would have peace — ^he could not stand disturbances.
Pard, he was a great loss to this town. It would please the
boys if you could chip in something like that and do him jus-
tice. Here once when the Micks got to thi-owing stones
through the Methodis' Sunday school windows, Buck Fanshaw,
all of hi^ own notion, shut up his saloon and took a couple of
six-shooters and mounted guard over the Sunday school. Says
lie, ' No Irish need apply ! ' And they didn't. He was the
bulliest man in the mountains, pard ! He dould run fester,
jump higher, hit harder, and hold more tangle-foot whisky
without spilling it than any man in seventeen counties. Put
that in, pard — it'll please the boys more than anything you
could say. And you can say, pard, that he never sbook his
mother."
" Never shook his mother ? "
" That's it — any of the boys will tell you so."
" Well, but why should he shake her ? "
" That's what / say — but some people does."
" Not people of any repute ? "
" Well, some that averages pretty so-so."
"In my opinion the man that would offer personal vio-
lence to his own mother, ought to — "
" Cheese it, pard ; you've banked your .ball clean outside
the string. What I was a drivin' at, was, that he never
THE rUNERAL CEREMONIES.
337
thrmoed off on his mother — don't you see ? No indeedy. He
give her a house to live in, and town lots, and plenty of money ;
and he looked after her and took care of her all the time ; and
when she was down with the small-pox I'm d — d if he didn't
set up nights and nuss her himself! Beg yoiy- pardon for say-
ing it, but
it hopped
out too
quick for
yours tru-
ly. You've
treated me
like a gen-
1 1 e m an ,
pard, and I
ain't the
man to hurt
your feel-
ings inten-
tional. 1
think you
DIDN'T SHOOK HIS MOTHER.
're white.
I think you're a square man, pard. I like you, and I'll lick any
man that don't. I'll lick him till he can't tell himself from a
last year's corpse ! Put it tlhere ! " [Another fraternal hand-
shake— and exit.]
The obsequies were all that " the boys " could desire. Such
a marvel of funeral pomp had never been seen in Virginia. The
plumed hearse, the dirge-breathing brass bands, the closed marts
of busiaess, the flags drooping at half mast, the long, plodding
procession of uniformed secret societies, military battalions and
fire companies, draped engines, carriages of officials, and citi-
zens in vehicles and on foot, attracted multitudes of spectators
to the sidewalks, roofs and windows ; and for years afterward,
the degree of grandeur attained by any civic display in Virginia
was determined by comparison with Buck Fanshaw's funeral.
Scotty Briggs, as a pall-bearer and a mourner, occupied a
prominent place at the funeral, and when the sermon was
22t
338
SCOTTT BECOMES A CHKI8TIAN.
finished and the last sentence of the prayer for the dead man's
soul ascended, he responded, in a low voice, but with feeling :
" Amen. JSTo Irish need apply."
As the bulk of the response was without apparent relevancy,
it was probably nothing more than a humble tribute to the
memory of the friend that was gone ; for, as Scotty had once
said, it was " his word."
' Scotty Briggs, in after days, achieved the distinction of be-
coming the only convert to religion that was ever gathered
from the Virginia roughs ; and it transpired that the man who
had it in him to espouse the quarrel of the weak out of inborn
nobility of spirit was no mean timber whereof to construct a
Christian. The making him one did not warp his generosity
or diminish his courage ; on the contrary it gave intelligent
direction to
the one and
a broader
*.A field to the
i?-'^ other. If
his Sunday-
school class
progressed
faster than
the other
classes, was
it matter for
wonder ? I
think not.
He talked to
his pioneer small-fry in a language they understood ! It was
my large privilege, a month before he died, to hear him tell the
beautiful story of Joseph and his brethren to his class " with-
out looking at the book." I leave it to the reader to fancy
what it was like, as it fell, riddled with slang, from the lips of
that grave, earnest teacher, and was listened to by his little
learners with a consuming interest that showed that they were
as unconscious as he was that any violence was being done to
the sacred proprieties !
SCOTTY AS A. SUNDAY-SCHOOL TEACHER.
CHAPTER XLYIII.
THE first twenty-six graves in the Virginia cemetery were
occupied by murdered men. So everybody said, so
everybody believed, and so tbey will always say and believe.
The reason why there was so much slaughtering done, was,
that in a new mining district the rough element predomi-
nates, and a person is not respected until he has " killed his
man." That was the very expression used.
If an unknown individual arrived, they did not inquire if
he was capable, honest, industrious, but — ^liad he killed his
man ? If he had not, he gravitated to his natural and proper
position, that of a man of small consequence ; if he had, the
cordiality of his reception was graduated according to the
number of his dead. It was tedious work struggling up to a
position of influence with bloodless hands ; but when a man
came with the.blood of half a dozen men on his soul, his worth
was recognized at once and his acquaintance sought.
In Nevada, for a time, the lawyer, the editor, the banker,
the chief desperado, the chief gambler, and the saloon keeper,
occupied the same level in society, and it was the highest.
The ehedpest and easiest way to become an influential man
and be looked up to by the community at large, was to stand
behind a bar, wear a cluster-diamond piuj and sell whisky. I .
am not sure but that the saloon-keeper held a shade higher
rank than any other member of society. His opinion had
weight. It was his privilege to say how the elections should
340
THE MOST INFLUENTIAL CITIZEN.
go. No great movement could succeed without the counte-
nance and direction of tlie saloon-keepers. It was a high favor
when the chief saloon-keeper consented to serve in the legis-
lature or the , board of aldermen. Youthfiil ambition hardly
THE MAU WHO HAX> KILLED A DOZEN.
aspired so much to the honors of the law, or the army and
navy as to the dignity of proprietorship in a saloon.
To be a saloon-keeper and kill a man was to be illustrious.
Hence the reader will not be surprised to learn that more
than one man was killed in Nevada under hardly the pretext
of provocation, so impatient was the slayer tci achieve reputa-
tion and throw off the galling sense of being held in indifferent
OUR JURY SYSTEM CONSIDERED. 341
repute by his associates. I knew two youths who tried to
" kill their nien " for no other reason-^and got killed them-
Belves for their pains. "There goes the man that killed Bill
Adams " was higher praise and a sweeter sound in the ears of
this sort of people than any other speech that admiring lips
could utter.
The men who murdered Virginia's original twenty-six
cemetery-occupants were never punished. Why? Because
Alfred the Great, when he invented trial by jury, and knew
that he had admirably framed it to secure justice in his age of
the world, was not aware that in the nineteenth century the
condition of things would be so entirely changed that unless
he rose from the grave and altered the jury plan to meet the
emergency, it would prove the most ingenious and infallible
agency for defeating justice that human wisdom could con-
trive. For how could he imagine that we simpletons would
go on using his jury plan after circumstances had stripped it
of its usefulness, any more than he could imagine that we
would go on using his candle-clock after we had invented
chronometers? In his day news could not travel fast, and
hence he could easily find a jury of honest, intelligent men
who had not heard of the case they were called to try — but in
our day of telegraphs and newspapers his plan compels us to
swear in jm-ies composed of fools and rascals, because the
system rigidly excludes honest men and men of brains.
I remember one of those sorrowful farces, in Yirginia,
which we call a jury trial. A noted desperado killed Mr. B.,
a good citizen, in the most wanton and cold-blooded way.
Of course the papers were full of it, and all men capable of
reading, read about it. And of course all men not deaf and
dumb and idiotic, talked about it. A jury-list was made out,
and Mr. B. L., a 'prominent banker and a valued citizen, was
questioned precisely as he would have been questioned in any
court in America :
" Have you heard of this homicide ? "
"Yes."
"Have you held conversations upon the subject?"
343
SPECIMEN JUEOKS.
"Tes."
" Have you formed or expressed opinions abont it ? "
"Yes.""
"Have you read the newspaper accounts of it 2 "
"Yes."
"We do not want you."
A minister, intelligent, esteemed, and greatly respected;
a merchant of high character and known probity ; a mining '
superintendent of intelligence and unblemished reputation j a
quartz mill owner of excellent standing, were all questioned in
the same way, and all set aside. Each said the pubhc talk and
the newspaper reports had not so biased his mind but that
sworn testimony would overthrow his pre\dously formed opin-
ions and enable him to render a verdict without prejudice and
in accordance with the facts. But of course such men could
not be trusted with the case. Ignoramuses alone could mete
out unsullied justice.
When the peremptory challenges were all exhausted, a jury
of twelve men was impaneled — a jury who swore they had
neither heard, read, talked about nor expressed an opinion
concerning a murder which the very cattle in the corrals, the
Indians in the sage-brush and the stones in the streets were
THE T3NPKEJUDICED JUKT.
cognizant of ! It was a jury composed of two desperadoes,
two. low beer-house politicians, three bar-keepers, two ranchmen
who could not read, and three dull, stupid, human donkeys !
DISABILITY INFLICTED ON INTELLIGENCE. 343
It actually came out afterward, that one of these latter thought
that incest and arson were the same thing.
The verdict rendered by this jury was, Not Guilty. What
else could one expect ?
The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty,
and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury. It is
a shame that we must continue to use a worthless system be-
cause it was good a thousand year^ ago. In this age, when a
gentleman of high social standing, intelligence and probity,
swears that testimony given under solemn oath will outweigh,
with him, street talk and newspaper reports based upon mere
hearsay, he is worth a hundred jurymen who will swear t9
their own ignorance and stupidity, and justice would be faf
safer in his hands than in theirs. Why could not the jury law
be so altered as to give men of brains and honesty an equal
chance with fools and miscreants? Is it right to show the
present favoritism to one class of men and" inflict a disability
on another, in a land whose boast is that all its citizens are
free and equal ? I am a candidate for the legislature. I de-
sire to tamper with the jury law. I wish to so alter it as to
put a premium on intelligence and character, and close thd
jury box against idiots, blacklegs, and people who do not read
newspapers. But no doubt I shall be defeated — every effort
I make to save the country "misses fire."
My idea, when I began this chapter, was to say some-
thing about desperadoism in the "flush times" of !Nevada.
To attempt a portra;jal of that era and that land, and leave
out the blood and carnage, would be like portraying Mormon-
dom and leaving out polygamy. The desperado stalked the
streets with a swagger graded according to the number of his
homicides, and a nod of recognition from him was suflicieijt
to make a humble admirer happy for the rest of the day.
The deference that w^as paid to a desperado of wide reputa-
tion, and who "kept his private graveyard," as the phrase
went, was marked, and cheerfully accorded. When he moved
along the sidewalk in his excessively long-tailed frock-coat,
shiny stump-toed boots, and with dainty little slouch hat
344
DESPERADO ADMIRED.
tipped over left eye, tlie small-fry roughs made room for liis
majesty ; when he entered the restaurant, the waiters deserted
bankers and merchants to overwhelm him with obsequious
- _-, service ; when he
"^^^ L- , shouldered his way
to a bar, the shoul-
dered parties
wheeled indig-
nantly, recognized
him, and — apolo-
gized. They got
a look in return
that froze their
marrow, and by
that time a curled
and breast-pinned
bar keeper was
beaming over the
counter, proud of
the established ac-
quaintanceship that
permitted such a familiar form of speech as :
"How 're ye, Billy, old fel« Glad to see you. What'Il
you take — the old thing?''
The "old thing" meant his customary drink, of course.
The best known names in the Territory of Nevada were
those belonging to these long-tailed heroes of the revolver.
Orators, Governors,' capitalists and leaders of the legislature
enjoyed a degree of fame, but it seemed local and meagre when
contrasted with the fame of such men as Sam Brown, Jack
Williams, Billy Mulligan, Farmer Pease, Sugarfoot Mike,
Pock-Marked Jake, El Dorado Johnny, Jack Mc]S"abb, Joe
McGee, Jack Harris, Six-fingered Pete, etc., etc. There was
a long list of them. They were brave, reckless men, and
traveled with their lives in their hands. To give them their
due, they did their killing principally among themselves, and
A DESPERADO BIYINO KEFEKENCE.
A SP'ECIMKN CHARACTER. 345
seldom molested peaceable citizens, for they considered it
small credit to add to their trophies so cheap a bauble as the
death of a man who was " not on the shoot," as they phrased
it. They killed each other on slight provocation, and hoped
and expected to be killed themselves — for they held it almost
shame to die otherwise than "with their boots on," as they
expressed it.
I remember an instance of a desperado's contempt for such
small game as a private citizen's life. I was taking a late
supper in a restaurant one night, with two reporters and a
little printer named — Brown, for instance — any name will do.
Presently a stranger with a long-tailed coat on came in, and
not noticing Brown's 'hat, "which was lying in a chair, sat down
on it. Little Brown sprang up and became abusive in a
moment. The stranger smiled, smoothed out the hat, and
offered it to Brown with profuse apologies couched in caustic
sarcasm, and begged Brown not to destroy him. Brown threw
off his coat and challenged the man to fight — abused him,
threatened him, impeached his courage, and urged and even
implored him to fight; and in the meantime the smiling
stranger placed himself under our protection in mock distress.
But presently he assumed a serious tone, and said.:
" Very well, gentlemen, if we must fight, we must, I sup-
pose. But don't rush into danger and then say I gave you no
warning. I am more than a match for all of you when I get
started. I will give you proofs, and then if my friend here
still insists, I will try to accommodate him."
•The table we were sitting at was about five feet long, and
unusually cumbersome and heavy. He asked us to put our
hands on the dishes and hold them in their places a moment
— one of them was a large oval dish with a portly roast on it.
Then he sat down, tilted up one end of the table, set two of
the legs on his knees, took the end of the table between his
teeth, took his hands away, and pulled down with his teeth till
the table came up to a level position, dishes and all ! He said
he could lift a keg of nails with his teeth. He picked up a
common glass tumbler and bit a semi-circle out of it. Then
346
SATISFACTION WITHOUT FIGHTING.
he opened his bosom and showed us a net-work of knife and
bullet scars ; showed us more on his arms and face, and
said he believed he had bullets enough in his body to make a
SATISFTIHQ A TOB.
pig of lead. He was armed to the teeth. He closed with the
remark that he was Mr. of Cariboo — a celebrated name
whereat we shook in our shoes. I would publish the name,
but for the suspicion that he might come and carve me. He
finally inquired if. Brown still thirsted for blood. Brown
turned the thing over in his mind a moment, and then— asked
him to supper.
With the permission of the reader, I will group together,
in the n^xt chapter, some samples of life in our small moun-
tain village in the old days of desperadoism. I was there at
the time. The reader will observe peculiarities in our official
society ; and he will observe also, an instance of how, in new
countries, murders breed murders.
A
(JHAPTEE XLIX.
N extract or two from the newspapers of the day will
famish a photograph that can need no embellishment :
Fatal Shootdtg Affkat. — An ajBFray occurred, last evening, in a billiard
saloon on C street, between Deputy Marshal Jack Williams and Wm. Brown,
whicli resulted in the immediate death of the latter. There had been some
difficulty between the parties for several months.
An inquest was immediately held, and the following testimony adduced :
Officer Geo. Birdsall, sworn, says : — I was told Wm. Brown was drunk
and was looking for Jack Williams ; so soon as I heard that I started for the
parties to prevent a collision ; went into the billiard saloon ; saw Billy Brown
running around, saying if anybody had anything against him to show cause ;
he was talking in a boisterous manner, and officer Perry took him to the
other end of the room to talk to him ; Brown came back to me ; remarked
to me that he thought he was as good as anybody, and knew how to take
care of himself ; he passed by me and went to the bar ; don't know whether
he drank or not ; Williams was at the end of the billiard-table, next to the
stairway ; Brown, after going to the bar, came back and said he was as good
as any man in the world ; he had then walked out to the end of the first
billiard-table from the bar ; I moved closer to them, supposing there would
be a fight ; as Brown drew his pistol I caught hold of it ; he had fired one
shot at Williams ; don't know the effect of it ; caught hold of him with one
hand, and took hold of the pistol and turned it up ; think he fired once after
1- caught hold of the pistol ; I wrenched the pistol from him ; walked to the
end of the billiard-table and told a party that I had Brown's pistol, and to
stop shooting ; I think four shots were fired in all ; after walking out, Mr.
Foster remarked that Brown was shot dead.
Oh, there was no excitement about it — ^he merely ^'re-
marked " the small circumstance !
Four months later the following item appeared in the same
paper (the Enterprise). In this item the name of one of the
348 A SPECIMEN CITY OFFICIAL.
city officers above referred to {Deputy Marshal Jack Wil^
liams) occurs again :
EoBBBKT AND DESPERATE APFRAY. — On Tuesday night, a German named
Charles Hurtzal, engineer in a mill at Silver City, came to this place, and
visited the hurdy-gurdy house on B street. The music, dancing and Teu-
tonic maidens awakened memories of Faderland until our German friend
was carried away with rapture. He evidently had money, and was spend-
ing it freely. Late in the evening Jack Williams and Andy Blessington
invited him down stairs to take a cup of coffee. Williams proposed a game
of cards and went up stairs to procure a deck, but not finding any returned.
On the stairway he met the German, and drawing his pistol knocked him
down and rifled his pockets of some seventy dollars. Hurtzal dared give
no alarm, as he was told, with a pistol at his head, if he made any noise or
exposed them, they would hlow his brains out. So effectually was he
frightened that he, made no complaint, until his friends forced him. Tester-
day a warrant was issued, but the culprits had disappeared.
This efficient city officer, Jack "Williams, had the common
reputation of being a burglar, a highwayman and a desperado.
It was said tliat he had several times drawn his revolver and
levied money contributions on citizens at dead of night in the
public streets of Virginia.
Five months after the above item appeared, "Williams was
assassinated while sitting at a card table one night ; a gun was
thrust through the crack of the door and "Williams dropped
from his chair riddled with balls. It was said, at the time,
that Williams had been for some time aware that a party
of his own sort (desperadoes) had sworn away his life ; and
it was generally believed among the people that "Williams's
friends and enemies would make the assassination memorable —
and useful, too — by a wholesale destruction of each other.*
* However, one prophecy was verified, at any rate. It was asserted by
the desperadoes that one of their brethren (Joe McGee, a special policeman)
was known to be the conspirator chosen by lot to assassinate Williams ; and
they also asserted that doom had been pronounced against McGee, and that
he would be assassinated in exactly the same manner that had been adopted
for the destruction of Williams — a prophecy which came true a year later.
After twelve months of distress (for McGee saw a fancied assassin in every
man that approached him), he made the last of many efforts to get out of
the country unwatched. He went to Carson and sat down in a saloon to
wait for the stage — it would leave at four in the morning. But as the night
PURSUING A VICTIM. 349
It did not so happen, but still, times were not dull during the
next twenty-four hours, for within that time a woman was killed
by a pistol shot, a man was brained with a slung shot, and a
man named Reeder was also disposed of permanently. Some
matters in the Enterprise account of the killing of Eeeder are
worth noting — especially the accommodating complaisance of a
Yirginia justice of the peace. The italics in the following nar-
rative are mine :
Moke Cutting and SHOOTiNa. — Tlie devil eeems to have again broken
loose in our town. Pistols and guns explode and knives gleam in our sti'eets
as in early times. When there has been a long season of quiet, people are
Blow to wet their hands in blood; but once blood is spilled, cutting and
shooting come easy. Night before last Jack Williams was assassinated,
and yesterday forenoon we ^ had more bloody work, growing out of the kill-
ing of Williams, and on the same street in Which he met his death. It
appears that Tom Eeeder, a friend of Williams, and George Gumbert were
talking, at the meat market of the latter, about the killing of' Williams the
previous night, when Reeder said it was a most cowardly act to shoot a man
in such a way, giving him " no show." Gumbert said that Williams had
" as good a show as he gave Billy Brown," meaning the man killed by Wil-
liams last March. Eeeder said it was a d — d lie, that Williams had no show
at all. At this, Gumbert drew a knife and stabbed Reeder, cutting him in
two places in the back. One stroke of the knife cut into the sleeve of
Reader's coat and passed downward in a slanting direction through his
clothing, and entered his body at the small of the back ; another blow
struck more squarely, and made a much more dangerous wound. Gumbert
gave himself up to the officers of justice, and was shortly after discharged
by Justice AtwiU, on Ms own recognizance, to appear for trial at six o'clock
in the evening. In the meantime Reeder had been taken into the office of
Dr. Owens, where his wounds were properly dressed. One of Ids wounds was
eonaidered quite dangerous, and it was thought iy many that it would prom
waned and the crowd thinned, he grew uneasy, and told the bar-keeper that
assassins were on his track. The bar-keeper told him to stay in the middle
of the room, then, and not go near the door, or the window by the stove.
But a fatal fascination seduced him to the neighborhood of the stove every
now and then, and repeatedly the bar-keeper brought him back to the middle
of the room and warned him to remain there. But he could not. At three in
the morning he again returned to the stove and sat down by a stranger. Be-
fore the bar-keeper could get to him -Hjith another warning whisper, some
one outside fired through the window and riddled McGee's breast with
slugs, killing him almost instantly. By the same discharge the stranger at
McGee's side also received attentions which proved fatal in the course ol
two or three days.
350 A STEEET FIGHT.
fataX. But being considerably under the influence of liquor, Beeder did not
feel his wounds as he otherwise would, and he got up and went into the street
He went to the meat market and renewed his quarrel with Gumbert, threat-
ening his life. Friends tried to interfere to put a stop to the quarrel and
get the parties away from each other. In the Fashion Saloon Reeder made
threats against the life of Gumbert, saying he would kill him, and it is
said that 7ie requested the officers not to arrest Gumbert, as h^ intended to kill
him. ^ After these threats Gumbert went off and procured a double-barreled
shot gun, loaded with buck-shot or revolver balls, and went after Reeder.
Two or three persons were assisting him along the street, trying to get him
home, and had him just in front of the store of Klopstock & Harris, when
Gumbert came across toward him from the opposite side of the street with
his gun. He came up within about ten or fifteen feet of Reeder, and called out
to those with him to " look out ! get out of the way 1 " and they had only time to
heed the warning, when he fired. Reeder was at the time attempting to screen
himself behind a large cask, which stood against the awning post of Klop-
stock & Harris's store, but some of the balls took effect in the lower part of
his breast, and he reeled around forward and fell in front of the cask. Gum-
bert then raised his gun and fired the second barrel, which missed Reeder
and entered the ground. At the time that this occurred, there were a great
many persons on the street in the vicinity, and a number of them called out
to Gumbert, when they saw him raise his gun, to " hold on," and " don't
shoot ! " The cutting took place about ten o'clock and the shooting about
twelve. After the shooting the street was instantly crowded with the in-
habitants of that part of the town, some appearing much excited and laugh-
ing— declaring that it looked like the " good old times of '60." Marshal
Perry and officer BirdsaU were near when the shooting occurred, and Gum-
bert was immediately arrested and his gun taken from him, when he was
marched off to jail. Many persons who were attracted to the spot where this
bloody work had j ust taken place, looked bewildered and seemed to be asking
themselves what was to happen next, appearing in doubt as to whether the
killing mania had reached its climax, or whether we were to turn in and
have a grand killing spell, shooting whoever might have given us offence.
It was whispered around that it was not all over yet — five or six more were
to be killed before night. Reeder was taken to the Virginia City Hotel,
and doctors called in to examine his wounds. They found that two or three
balls had entered his right side; one of them appeared to have passed
thrftugh the substance of the lungs, while another passed into the liver.
Two balls were also found to have struck one of his legs. As some of the
balls struck the cask, the wounds in Reeder's leg were probably from these,
glancing downwards, though they might have been caused by the second
shot fired. After being shot, Reeder said when he got on his feet — smiling
as he spoke — " It will take better shooting than that to kill me." The doc-
tors consider it almost impossible for him to recover, but as he has an
excellent constitution he may survive, notwithstanding the number and
dangerous character of the wounds he has received. The town appears to
LIKELIHOOD OF PUNISHMENT.
351
be perfectly quiet at present, as though the late stormy times had cleared
our moral atmosphere ; but who can tell in what quarter clouds are lowering
or plots ripening ?
Eeeder — or at least what was left of him — survived his
wounds two days ! Nothing was ever done with Gumbert.
Trial by jury is the palladium of our Liberties. I do not
know what a palladium is, having never seen a palladium, but
it is a good thing no doubt at any rate. Not less than a hun-
dred men have been murdered in Nevada — perhaps I would
be within bounds if I said three hundred — and as far as I can
learn, only two persons have suffered the death penalty there.
However, four or five who had no money and no political influ-
ence have been punished by imprisonment — one languished in
prison as much as eight months, I think. However, I do not
desire to be extravagant — it may have been lees.
CHAPTER L.
THESE murder and jury statistics remind me of a certain
very extraordinary trial and execution of twenty years
ago ; it is a scrap of history familiar to all old Califomians,
and worthy to be known by other peoples of the earth that
love simple, straightforward justice unencumbered with non-
sense. I would apologize for this digression but for the fact
that the information I am about to offer is apology enough in
itself And since I digress constantly anyhow, perhaps it is
as well to eschew apologies altogether and thus prevent their
growing irksome.
Capt. Ked Blakely — that name will answer as well as any
other fictitious one (for he was still with the living at last ao-
eouilts, and may not desire to' be famous) — sailed ships out of
the harbor of San Francisco for many years. He was a stal-
wart, warm-hearted, eagle-eyed veteran, who had been a sailor
nearly fifty years — a sailor from early boyhood. He was a
rough, honest creature, full of pluck, and just as full of hard-
headed simplicity, too. He hated trifling conventionalities — ■
"business" was the word, with him. He had all a sailor's
vindictiveness against the quips and quirks of the law, and
steadfastly believed that the first and last aim and object of the
law and lawyers was to defeat justice.
He sailed for the Chincha Islands in command of a gnano
ship. He had a fine crew, but his negro mate was his pet —
on him he had for years lavished his admiration and esteem.
It was Capt. T^ed's first voyage to the Chinchas, but his fame
had gone before him — the fame of being a man who would
CAPT. NED BLAKELT.
353
figlit at the dropping of a handkerchief, when imposed upon,
and would stand no nonsense. It was a fame well earned.
Arrived in the islands, he found that the staple of conversation
was the exploits of one Bill Noakes, a bully, the mate of a
trading ship. This man had created a small reign of terror
there. At nine o'clock at night, Capt. Ned, all alone, was
pacing his deck in the starlight. A form ascended the side,
and approached him. Capt. Ned said :
" Who goes there ? "
" I'm Bill Noakes, the best man in the islands."
" "What do you want aboard this ship ? "
tMPARTINO INFOBMATION.
"I've heard of Capt. Ned Blakely, and one of us is a better
man than 'tother — I'll know which, before I go ashore."
"You've come to the right shop — I'm your man. I'll
learn you to come aboard this ship without an mvite."
He seized Noakes, backed him against the mainmast,
pounded his face to a pulp, and then threw him overboard.
23t
354 KILLING OF HIS MATE.
Noakes was not convinced. He returned the tiext nigfat^
got the pnlp renewed, and went overboard head first, as before.
He was satisfied.
A week after this, while Noakes was carousing with a sailor
crowd on shore, at noonday, Capt. Ned's colored mate came
along, and Noakes tried to pick a quarrel with him. Tho
negro evaded the trap, and tried to get away. Noakes fol-
lowed him up ; the negro began to run ; Noakes fired on him
with a revolver and killed him. Half a dozen sea-captains
witnessed the whole affair. Noakes retreated to the small
after-cabin of his ship, with two other bullies, and gave out
that death would be the portion of any man that intruded
there. There was no attempt made to follow the villains;
there was no disposition to do it, and indeed very little thought
of such an enterprise. There were no courts and no ofBcers ;
there was no government ; the islands belonged to Peru, and
Peru was far away;' she had no official representative on the
.ground; and neither had any other nation.
However, Capt. jf^ed was not perplexing his head about
such things. They concerned him not. He was boiling with
rSge and furious for justice. At nine o'clock at night he
loaded a double-barreled gun with slugs, fished out a pair of
handcuffs, got a ship's lantern, summoned his quartermaster,
and went ashore. Ke said :
" Do you see that ship there at the dock? "
"Ay-ay, sir."
" It's the Venus."
" Ay-ay, sir."
" You — ^you know jn^."
"Ay-ay, sir."
" Very well, then. Take the lantern. Carry it just under
your chin. I'll walk behind you and rest this gun-barrel on
your shoulder, p'inting forward — so. Keep your lantern well
up, so's I can see things ahead of you good. I'm going to march
in on Noakes — and take him — and jug the other chaps. If
you flinch — well, you know meP
"Ay-ay, sir."
ARRESTING BILL NOAKES. 355
In this order they tiled aboard softly, arrived at Noakes's
den, the quartermaster pushed tlie door open, and the lantern
revealed the three desperadoes sitting on the floor. Capt.
-Ned said:
"I'm Ned Blakely. I've got you under fire. Don't you
II
.-TV
nf
*»> \
f::2,^^U^ I
A WALKING BATTBBT.
move without orders — any of you. You two kneel down in the
corner ; faces to the wall — now. Bill Noakes, put these hand-
cuffs on ; now come up close. Quartermaster, fasten 'em. All
right. Don't stir, sir. Quartermaster, put the key in the out-
side of the door. Now, men, I'm going to lock you two in ;
and if you try to burst through this door — well, you've heard
of me. Bill Noakes, fall in ahead, and march. All set.
Quartermaster, lock the door."
Noakes spent the night on board Blakely's ship, a prisoner
under strict guard. Early in the morning Capt. Ned called in
all the sea-captains in the harbor and invited them, with nauti-
cal ceremony, to be present on board his shij) at nine o'clock to
witness the hanging of Noakes at the yard-arm !
356 CAPT. BLAKELT'S VIEWS OF JUSTICK.
" What ! The man has not been tried."
" Of course he hasn't. But didn't he kill the nigger ? "
" Certainly he did ; but you are not thinking of hanging
liim without a trial ? "
" Irial ! What do I want to try him for, if he killed the
nigger ? "
" Oh, Capt. Ned, this will never do. Think how it will
sound."
" Sound be hanged ! DidrCt he hill the nigger ? "
" Certainly, certainly, Capt. Nedj^-^nobody denies that, —
but—"
" Then I'm going to hang him, that's all. Everybody I've
talked to talks just the same way you do. Everybody says he
killed the nigger, everybody knows he killed the nigger, and yet
every lubber of you wants him tried for it. I don't understand
such bloody foolishness as that. Tried ! Mind you, I don't
object to trying him, if it's got to be done to give satisfaction ;
?,nd I'll be there, and chip in and help, too ; but put it off till
afternoon — put it off till afternoon, for I'll have my hands
middling full till after the burying^ "
" Why, what do you mean ? Are you going to hang him
«my how — and try him afterward ? "
"Didn't I say I was going to hang him? I never saw
such people as you. What's the difference ? You ask a favor,
and then you ain't satisfied when you get it. Before or after 's
all one — you know how the trial will go. He killed the
nigger. Say — I must be going. If your mate would like to
come to the hanging, fetch him along. I like him."
There was a stir in the camp. The captains came in a
body and pleaded with Capt. Ned not to do this rash thing.
They promised that they would create a court composed of
captains of the best chara,cter; they would empanel a jury;
they would conduct everything in a way becoming the serious
nature of the business in hand, and give the case an impartial
hearing and the accused a fair trial. And they said it would
be murder, and pilnishable by the American courts if he per-
sisted and hung the accused on his ship. They pleaded hard.
Capt. Ned said :
BILL NOAKES IS TKIED. 357
" Gentlemen, I'm not stubborn and I'm not unreasonable.
I'm always willing to do just as near right as I can, How
long will it take ? "
" Probably only a little while."
" And can I take bim up tbe shore and hang him as soon
as you are done ? "
" If he is proven guilty he shall be hanged without un-
necessary delay."
' '■'■ If he's proven guilty. Great Neptune, airCt he guilty?
This beats my time. , Why you all Icnow he's guilty."
But at last they satisfied him that they were projecting
nothing underhanded. Then he said :
" Well, all right. You go on and try him and I'll go dowil
and overhaul his conscience and prepare him to go — like
enough he needs it, and I don't want to send him off without
a show for hereafter."
This was another obstacle. They finally convinced him,
that it was necessary to have the accused in court. Then they
said they would send a guard to bring him.
" No, sir, I prefer to fetch him myself — he don't get out of
WA) hands. Besides, I've got to go to the ship to get a rope,
anyway."
■ The court assembled with due ceremony, empaneled a jury,
and presently Capt. Ned entered, leading the prisoner with
one hand and carrying a Bible and a rope in the otlier. He
seated himself by the side of his captive and told the court to
" up anchor and make sail.'' Then he turned a searching eye
on the jury, and detected ISToakes's friends, the two bullies.'
He strode over and said to them confidentially :
" Tou're liere to interfere, you see. Now you vote right,
do you hear? — or else there'll be a doxible-barreled inquest
here when this trial's off, and your remainders will go home
in a couple of baskets."
Tlie caution was not without fruit. The jury was a unit
—the verdict, " Guilty."
Capt. Nod spnmg to his feet and said :
"Come along^you're my meat now^ mj lad, anyway,'
358
CAPT. BLAKELY AS A CHAPLAIN.
Gentlemen you've done yourselves proud. I invite you all to
come and see that I do it all straight. Follow me to the
canyon, a mile above here."
The court informed him that a sheriff had been appointed
to do the lianging, and —
Oapt. Ned's patience was at an end. His wrath was
boundless. The subject of a sheriff was judiciously dropped.
When the crowd arrived at the canyon, Capt. Ned climbed
a tree and arranged the halter, then came down and noosed his
man. He opened his Bible, and laid aside his hat. Selecting
a chapter at random, he read it through, in a deep bass voice
and with sincere
solemnity,
said:
The^ he
" Lad, you are
about to go aloft and
give an account of
yourself ; and the
lighter a man's man-
ifest is, as far as sin's
concerned, the better
for him. Make a
I clean breast, man,
I and carry a log with
you that'll bear in-
spection. You killed
the nigger ? "
No reply. A
long pause.
I . The captain read
another chapter,
pausing, from time to time, to impress the effect. Then
he talked an earnest, persuasive sermon to him, and ended
by repeating the question :
" Did you kill the nigger ? "
No reply — other than a malignant scowl. The captain
now read the first and second chapters of Genesis, with deep
OVEEHAULING HIS MANIFEST.
HE HANGS THE CRIMINAL.
359
feeling — ^paused a moment, closed the book reverently, and
eaid with a perceptible savor of satisfaction :
" There. Four chapters. There's few that would have
took the pains with you that I have."
Then he swung up the condemned, and made the rope fast ;
stood by and timed him half an hour with his watch, and then
delivered the body to the court. A little after, as he stood
contemplating the motionless figure, a doubt came into his
face ; evidently he felt a twinge of conscience-:-a misgiving —
and he said with a sigh :
" Well, p'raps I ought to burnt him, maybe. But I was
trying to do for the best."
When the history of this affair reached California (it was
in the " early days") it made a deal of talk, but did not di-
minish the captain's popularity in any degree. It increased it,
indeed. California had a population then that " inflicted " juiS-
tice after a fashion that was simplicity and primitiveness itself,
and could therefore admire appreciatively when the same
fashion was followed elsewhere.
OHAPTEE LI.
YICE flourished luxuriantly during the hey-day of our
" flush times." The saloons were overburdened with
custom ; so were the police courts, the gambling dens, the
brothels and the jails — unfailing signs of high prosperity in a
mining region — in any region for that matter. Is it not so ?
A crowded police court docket is the surest of all signs
that trade is brisk and money plenty. Still, there is one other
sign ; it comes last, but when it does come it establishes be-
yond cavil that the "flush times" are at the flood. This is the
birth of the "literary" paper. The Weekly. Occidental, "de-
voted to literature," made its appearance in Virginia. All the
literary people wer6 engaged to write for it. Mr. F. was to
edit it. He was a felicitous skirmisher with a pen, and a man
who could say happy things in a crisp, neat way. Once, while
editor of the Union, he had disposed of a labored, incoherent,
two-column attack made upon him by a cotemporary, with a
single line, which, at first glance, seemed to contain a solemn
and tremendous compliment — viz. : " The logic of oue ad-
VEESAEY EBSEMBLES THE PEACE OF GoD," and left it tO the
reader's memory and after-thought to invest the remark with
another and "more different" meaning by supplying for him-
self and at his own leisure the rest of the Scripture — " in that
it passeth understanding P He once said of a little, half-
starved, wayside community that had no subsistence except
what they could get by preying upon chance passengers who
stopped over with them a day when traveling by the overland
stage, that in their Church service they had altered the Lord's
Prayer to read : " Give us this day our daily stranger ! "
THE OCCIDENTAL'S GREAT NOVEL.
361
We expected great tilings of the Occidental. Of course it
could not get along without an original novel, and so we made
arrangements to hurl into the work the full strength of the
company. Mrs. F. was an able romancist of the ineffable
school — I know no other name to apply to a school whose
heroes are all dainty and all perfect. She wrote the opening
chapter, and introduced a lovely blonde feimpleton Avho talked
nothing but pearls and poetry and who was virtuous to the
verge of eccentricity. She also introduced a yoiing French
Duke of aggravated refinement, in love with the blonde,
Mr. F. followed next week, with a brilliant lawyer who set
about getting the Duke's estates into trouble, and a sparkling
young lady of high society who fell to fascinating the Duke
and impairing the appetite of the blonde. Mr. D., a dark and
bloody editor of one of the dailies, followed Mr. F., the third
THE HEROES AND HEBOINES OF THE STOBT.
week, introducing a mysterious Koscicrucian who transmuted
metals, held consultations with the devil in a cave at dead of
night, and cast the hoi'oscope of the several heroes and heroines
in such a way as to provide plenty of trouble for their future
careers and breed a solemn and awful public interest in the
novel. He also introduced a cloaked and masked melodrar
362 SUMMARY TREATMENT OF ITS CHARACTERS.
matic miscreant, put him on a salary and set him on the mid-
night tract of the Duke with a poisoned dagger. He also
created an Irish coachman with a rich brogue and placed him
in the service of the society-young-lady with an ulterior mis-
sion to carry billet-doux to the Duke.
About this time there arrived in Yirginia a dissolute stran-
ger with a literary turn of mind — ^rather seedy he was, but
very quiet and unassuming ; almost diffident, indeed. He was
so gentle, and his manners were so pleasing and kindly,
whether he was saber or intoxicated, that he made friends of
all who came in contact with
him. He applied for literary
work, offered conclusive ev-
idence that he wielded an
easy and practiced pen, and
so Mr. F. engaged him at
once to help write the novel.
His chapter was to follow
Mr. D.'s, and mine was to
come next. Now what does
this fellow'So but go off and
get drunk 'and then proceed
to his quarters and set to
woi;k with his imagination
in a state of chaos, and that
chaos in a condition of ex-
travagant activity. The re-
sult may be guessed. He
scanned the chapters of his
predecessors, found plenty
of heroes and heroines al-
ready created, and was satisfied with them ; he decided to in-
troduce no more ; with all the confidence that whisky inspires
and all the easy complacency it gives to its servant, he then
launched himself lovingly into his work : he married the
coachman to the society-young-lady for the sake of the scandal ;
married the Duke to the blonde's steptaother, for the sake of
the sensation ; stopped the desperado's salary ; created a mis-
DISSOLBTE AUTHOU.
"WAR AMONG THE NOVELISTS. 363
undierstanding between the devil and the Roscicriicaan ; threw
the Duke's property into the wicked lawyer's hands ; made the
lawyer's upbraiding conscience drive him to drink, thence to
delirium tremens', thence to suicide; broke the coachman's
neck ; let his widow succumb to contumely, neglect, poverty
and consumption ; caused the blonde to drown herself, leaving
her clothes on the bank with the customary note pinned to
them forgiving the Duke and hoping he would be happy ; re-
vealed to the Duke, by means of the usual strawberry mark
on left arm, that he had married his own long-lost mother and
destroyed his long-lost sister ; instituted the proper and neces-
sary suicide of the Duke and the Duchess in order to compass
poetical justice; opened the earth and let the Roscicrucian
through, accompanied with the accustomed smoke and thunder
and smell of brimstone, and finished with the promise that in
the next chapter, after holding a general inquest, he would take
up the surviving character of the novel and tell what became
of the devil !
It read with singular smoothness, and with a "dead"
earnestness that was funny enough to suffocate a body.
But there was war when it came in. The other novelists
were .furious. -The mild stranger, not yet more than
half sober, stood there, under a scathing fire of vitupera-
tion, meek and bewildered, looking from one to another of his
assailants, and wondering what he could have done to invoke
such a storm. When a lull came at last, he said his say gently
and appealingly — said he did not rightly remember what he
had written, but was sure he had tried to do the best he
could, and knew his object had been to make the novel not
only pleasant and plausible but instructive and —
The bombardment began again. The novelists assailed his
ill-chosen adjectives and demolished them with a storm of
denunciation and ridicule. And so the siege went on. Every
time the stranger tried to appease the enemy he only made
matters worse. Finally he ofiered to rewrite the chapter.
This arrested hostilities. The indignation gradually quieted
down, peace reigned again and the sufierer retired in safety
and got him to his own citadel.
364 THE DISSOLUTE AUTHOK'S SECOND EFFORT.
But on the way thither the evil angel tempted him and he
got drunk again. And again his imagination went mad. He led
the heroes and heroines a wilder dance than ever ; and yet aU
through it ran that same convincing air of honesty and earnest-
ness that had marked his first work. He got the characters
into the most extraordinary situations, put them through- the
most surprising performances, and made them talk the strangest
talk ! But the chapter cannot be described. It was symmet-
rically crazy ; it was artistically absurd ; and it had explana-
tory footnotes that were fully as curious as the text. I remember
one of the " situations," and will offer it as an example of the
whole. He altered the charactei* of the brilliant lawyer, and ■
made him a great-hearted, splendid fellow ; gave him fame and
riches, aiid set his age at thirty-three years. Then ho made
tl^e blonde discover, through the help of the Koscicrueian and
the melodramatic miscreant, that while the Duke loved her
money ardently and wanted it, he secretly felt a sort of lean-
ing toward the society-young-lady. Stung to the quick, she
tore her affections from him and' bestowed them with tenfold
power upon the lawyer, who responded with consuming zeal.
But the parents would none of it. What they wanted in the
family was a Duke ; and a Duke they were determined to have ;
though they confessed that next to the Duke the lawyer had
their preference. Necessarily the blonde now went into a de-
cline. The parents were alarmed. They pleaded with her to
marry the Duke, but she steadfastly refused, and pined on.
Then they laid a plan. They told her to wait a year and a
day, and if at the end of that time she still felt that she could
not marry the Duke, she might inarry the lawyer with their
full consent. The result was as they had foreseen : gladness
came again, and the flush of returning health. Then the
parents took the next step in their scheme. They had the
family physician recommend a long sea voyage and much land
travel for the thorough restoration of the blonde's strength ;
and they invited the Duke to be of the party. They judged
that the Duke's constant presence and the lawyer's protracted
absence would do the rest — for they did not invite the lawyer.
So they set sail in a steamer for America — and the third
HEROES AND HEROINES GENERALLY MIXED. 365
day out, when tlieir sea-sickness called truce and permitted
them to take their first meal at the public table, behold there
sat the lawyer ! The Duke and party made the best of an
UNLOOKED-FC
iNCE OP THE LAWYER.
awkward situation ; the voyage progressed, and the vessel neared
America. But, by and by, two hundred miles off New Bed-
ford, the ship took fire ; she burned to the water's edge ; of all
her crew and passengers, only thirty were saved. They floated
about the sea half an afternoon and all night long. Among
them were our friends. The lawyer, by superhuman exertions,
had saved the blonde and her parents, swimming back and forth
two hundred yards and bringing one each time — (the girl first).
The Duke had saved himself. In the morning two whale
ships arrived on the scene and sent their boats. The weather
was stormy and the embarkation was attended with much
confusion and excitement. . The lawyer did his duty like a
man ; helped his exhausted and insensible blonde, her parents
and some others into a boat (the Duke helped himself in) ; then
a child fell overboard at the other end of the raft and the law-
yer rushed thither and helped half a dozen people fish it out,
under the stimulus of its mother's screams. Then he ran back
— a, few seconds too late — the blonde's boat was under way. So
366
FAITHFUL LOVERS PARTED AGAIN.
lie had to take the other boat, and go to the other ship. The
etorm increased and drove the vessels out of sight of each other
THE 8TOBM INCREASED.
— drove them whither it wonld. "Wlien it calmed, at the end
of three days, the blonde's ship was seven hundred miles north
of Boston and the other about seven hundred south of that
port. The blonde's captain was bound on a whaling cruise
in the North Atlantic and could not go back such a distance
or make a port without orders ; such being nautical law. The
lawyer's captain was to cruise in the North Pacific, and he
could nQt go back or make a port without orders. All the law-
yer's money and baggage were in the blonde's boat and went
to the blonde's ship — so his captain made him work his passage
as a common sailor. When both ships had been cruising nearly
a year, the one was off the coast of Greenland and the other in
A Long fish stoky.
367
The blonde kad long ago been well-nigh
Behring's Strait. . _ _
persuaded that her lawyer had been washed overboard and
lost just before the whale ships reached the raft, and now,
under the pleadings of her parents and the Duke she was at
last beginning to nerve herself for the doom of the covenant.
V s v.-
h*i
U
'4 ^ *"" I
J IT
>. r
'Sf't
^01
J* II
JONAH OUTDONE.
and prepare for the hated marriage. But she would not yield
a day before the date set. The weeks dragged on, the
time narrowed, orders were given to deck the ship for the
wedding— a wedding at sea among icebergs and walruses.
Five days more and all would be over. So the^,blOTide
reflected, with a sigh and a tear. Oh where was her tfteflaye
and why, why did he not come and save her ? At thai^#
ment he was lifting his harpoon to strike a whale in Behring's
Strait, five thousand miles away, by the way of the Arctic
Ocean, or twenty thousand by the way of the Plom — that was
the reason. He struck, but not with perfect aim— hig foot
slipped and he fell in the whale's mouth and Went down hia
368 SAD FATE OF THE OCCIDENTAL.
throat. He was insensible five days. Then he came to him-
self and heard voices ; daylight was streaming through a hole
cut in the whale's roof. He climbed out and astonished the
sailors who were hoisting blubber up a ship's side. He rec-
ognized the vessel, flew aboard, surprised the wedding party
at the altar and exclaimed :
" Stop the proceedings — I'm here ! Come to my arms, my
own ! "
There were foot-notes to this extravagant piece of literature
wherein the author endeavored to show that the whole thing
was within the possibilities ; he said he got the incident of the
whale traveling from Behring's Strait to the coast of Green-
land, five thousand miles in five days, through the Arctic Ocean,
from Charles Eeade's " Love Me Little Love Me Long," and
considered that that established the fact that the thing could
be done; and he instanced Jonah's adventure as proof that a
man could live in a whale's belly, and added that if a preacher
could stand it three days a lawyer could surely stand it five !
There was a fiercer storm than ever in the editorial sanctum
now, and the stranger was peremptorily discharged, and his
manuscript flung at his head. But he had already delayed things
60 much that there was not time for some one else to rewrite
the chapter, and so the paper came out without any novel in it.
It was but a feeble, struggling, stupid journal, an4 the abseuce
of the novel probably shook public confidence; at any rate,
before the first side of the next issue went to press, the WeeMy
Occidental died as peacefully as an infant.
An eflfoi't was made to resurrect it, with the proposed advan-
tage of a telling new title, and Mr. F. said that Tlie Phenix
would be just the name for it, because it would give the idea
of a resurrection from its dead ashes in a new and undreamed
of condition of splendor ; but some low-priced smarty on one
of the dailies suggested that we call it the Lazarus ; and inas-
much as thei people were not profound in Scriptural matters
but thought the resurrected Lazarus and the dilapidated men-
dicant that begged in the rich man's gateway were one and the
same person, the name became the laughing stock of the town,
and killed the paper for good and all.
MY UNFRINTED POEM. 369
I was sorry enough, for I was very proud of being con-
nected with a literary paper — ^prouder than I have ever been
of anything since, perhaps. I had written some rhymes for it—
"poetry I considered it — and it was a great grief to me that the
production was on the " first side " of the issue that was not
completed, and hence did not see the light. But time brings
its revenges — I can put it in here ; it will answer in place of
a tear dropped to the memory of the lost Occidental. The
idea (not the chief idea, but the vehicle that bears it) was
probably suggested by the old song called "The Raging
Canal," but I cannot remember now. I do remember, though,
that at that time I thought my doggerel was one of the ablest
poems of the age :
THE AGED PILOT MAN.
On the Erie Canal, it was.
All on a summer's day,
I sailed forth with my parents
Far away to Albany.
From out the clouds at noon that day
There came a dreadful storm.
That piled the billows high about.
And filled us with alarm.
A man came rushing from a house.
Saying, " Snub up * your boat I pray.
Snub up your boat, snub up, alas.
Snub up while yet you may."
Our captain cast one glance astern.
Then forward glanced he.
And said, " My wife and little ones
I never more shall see."
Said Dollinger the pilot man.
In noble words, but few, —
"Fear not, but lean on Dollinger,
And he will fetch you through."
* The customary canal technicality for " tie np."
24t
370
A TERBI-BLE 8T0EM.
The boat drove on, the frightened mules
Tore through the rain and wind.
And bravely, still, in danger's post,
The whip-boy strode behind.
"Come 'board, come 'board," the captain cried,
" Nor tempt so wild a storm ; "
But still the raging mules advanced,
Anc' still the boy strode on.
Then said the captain to us all,
" Alas, 'tis plain to me.
The greater danger is not there.
But here upon the sea.
So let us strive, while life remains.
To save all souls on board.
And then if die at last we must.
Let .... I cannot speak the word 1 "
SOLLINaER.
Said DoUinger the pilot man,
Tow'ring above the crew.
THE GALE INCREASES.
" Fear not, but trust in Dollinger,
And he will fetch you through.''
" Low bridge ! low bridge ! " all heads went down,
The laboring bark sped on ;
A mill we passed, we passed a church,
Hamlets, and fields of corn ;
And all the world came out to see.
And chased along the shore
371
"low bbidqe."
Crying, " Alas, alas, the sheeted rain,
The wind, the tempest's roar I
Alas, the gallant ship and crew,
Can nothing help them more?"
And from our deck sad eyes looked out
Across the stormy scene :
The tossing wake of billows aft,
The bending forests green,
372
SHORTENING SAIL.
"The chickens sheltered under carts
In lee of barn the cows.
The skurrying swine with straw in mouth.
The wild spray from our bows I
" She balances I
She wavers 1
Now let her go about !
If she misses stays and broaches to.
We're ail" — [then with a shout,]
" Huray ! haray !
Avast ! belay I
Take in more sail I
Lord, whsrt a gale !
Ho, boy, haul taut on the hind mule's tail 1 "
EHORTENINQ SAIL.
• Ho I lighten ship ! ho 1 man the pump !
Ho, hostler, heave the lead !
THE SHIPWRECK. 373
" A quarter-three ! — 'tia slioaling fast I
Three feet large ! — t-h-r-e-e feet ! — ■
Three feet scant I " I cried in fright
" Oh, is there no retreat ? "
Said DoUinger, the pilot man.
As on the vessel flew,
" Fear not, but trust in DoUinger,
And he will fetch you through."
A panic struck the bravest hearts.
The boldest cheek turned pale ;
For plain to all, this shoaling said
A leak had burst the ditch's bed !
And, straight as bolt from crossbow sped.
Our ship swept on, with slioaling lead.
Before the fearful gale I
" Sever the tow line I Cripple the mules ! "
Too late I There comes a shock !
Another length, and the fated craft
Would have swum in the saving lock I
Then gathered together the shipwrecked crew
And took one last embrace.
While sorrowful tears from despairing eyes
Kan down each hopeless face ; '
And some did think of their little ones
Whom they never more might see.
And others of waiting wives at home.
And mothers that grieved would be.
But of all the children of misery there
On that poor sinking frame,
But one spake words of hope and faith.
And I worshipped as they canie :
Said DoUinger the pilot man, —
(0 brave heart, strong and true !) —
" Fear not, but trust in DoUinger,
For he will fetch you through."
Lo ! scarce the words have passed his lips
The dauntless prophet say'th.
When every soul about him seeth
A wonder crown his faith !
374
LIGHTENING SHIP.
And count ye all, both great and small.
As numbered with the dead!
For mariner for forty year.
On Erie, boy and man,
I never yet saw Buch a storm,
Or one 't with it began ! "
So overboard a keg of nails
And anvils three we threw.
Likewise four bales of gunny-sacks.
Two hundred pounds of glue.
Two sacks of corn, four ditto wheat,
A box of books, a cow,
A violin. Lord Byron's works,
A rip-saw and a sow.
tlOHTENING SHIP.
A curve ! a curve ! the dangers grow !
" Labbord ! — stabbord ! — s-t-e-a-d-y 1 — so !-
Hard-apovt, Dol ! — hellum-a-lee !
Haw the head mule ! — the aft one gee 1
Luff! — bring her to the wind ! "
THE RESCUE.
375
For straight a farmer brought a plank,-
(Mysteriously inspired) —
And laying it unto the ship,
In silent awe retired.
THE MARVELOUS KESCUE.
Then every sufferer stood amazed
That pilot man before ;
A moment stood. Then wondering turned.
And speechless walked ashore.
CHAPTEE LII.
SINCE I desire, in this chapter, to say an instructive word
or two about the silver mines, the reader may take this
fair warning and skip, if he chooses. The year 1863 was per-
haps the very top blossom and culmination of the " flush times."
Virginia swarmed with men and vehicles to that degree that
the place looked like a very hive — that is when one's vision
could pierce through the thick fog of alkali dust that was gen-
erally blowing in summer. I will say, concerning this dust,
that if you drove ten miles through it, you and your horses
would be coated with it a sixteenth of an inch thick and pre-
sent an outside appearance that was a uniform pale yellow
color, and your buggy would have three inches of dust in it,
thrown there by the wheels. The delicate scales tised by the
assay.ers were inclosed in glass cases intended to be air-tight,
and yet some of this dust was so impalpable and so invisibly fine
that it would get in, somehow, and impair the accuracy of
those scales.
Speculation ran riot, and yet there was a world of substan-
tial business going on, too. All freights were brought over
the mountains from California (150 miles) by pack-train partly,
and partly in huge wagons drawn by such long mule teams
that each team amounted to a procession, and it did seem,
sometimes, that the grand combined procession of animals
stretched unbroken from Virginia to California. Its long
route was traceable clear across the deserts of the Territory by
the writhing serpent of dust it lifted up. By these wagons,
SHIPPING SILVER BRICKS. 377
freights over that hundred and fifty miles were $200 a ton for
Email lots (same price for all express matter brought by stage),
and $100 a ton for full loads. One Virginia firm received one
hundred tons of freight a month, and paid $10,000 a month
freightage. In the winter the freights were much highet. All
the buUion was shipped in bars by stage to San Francisco (a
bar was usually about twice the size of a pig of lead and con-
tained from $1,500 to $3,000 according to the amount of gold
mixed with the silver), and the freight on it (when the ship-
ment was large) was one and a quarter per cent, of its intrinsic
value. So, the freight
on these bars probaJbly
averaged something
more than $25 each.
Small shippers paid
two per cent. There
were three stages a
day, each way, and I
have seen the out-go-
ing stages carry away a
third of a ton of bullion each, and more than once I saw them
divide a two-ton lot and take it off. However, these were ex-
traordinary events.* Two tons of silver bullion would be in
*Mr. Valentine, Wells Fargo's agent, has handled all the bullion phipped
through the Vir£:inia oflSce for many a month. To his memory — which is
excellent — we are indebted for the following exhibit of the company's busi-
ness in the Virginia oflSce since the first of January, 1862 : From January
1st to April 1st, about $370,000 worth of bullion passed through that office ;
during the riext quarter, $570,000; next quarter, $800,000; next quarter,
$956,000; next quarter, $1,275,000; and for the quarter ending on the 30th
of last June, about $1,600,000. Thus in a year and a half, the Virginia office
only shipped $5,330,000 in bullion. During the year 1862 they shipped
$2,615,000, so we perceive the average shipments have more than doubled
in the last six months. This gives us room to promise for the Virginia
office $500,000 a month -for the year 1863 (though perhaps, judging by the
Bteady increase in the business, we are under estimating, somewhat). Thif)
gives us $6,000,000 for the year. Gold Hill and Silver City together can
beat us— we will give them $10,000,000. To Dayton, Empire City, Ophir
and Carson City, we wUl allow an aggregate of $8,000,000, which is not over
SIIiTEB BRICKS.
378 IMMENSE TIMBER SUPPORTS.
the neigliborliood of forty bars, and the freight on it over $1,000;
Each coach always carried a deal of ordinary express matter
beside, and also from fifteen to twenty passengers at from $25.
to $30 a head. With six stages going all the time, Wells,
Fargo and Co.'s Virginia City business was important and
lucrative.
All along under the centre of Virginia and Gold Hill, for a
couple of miles, ran the great Comstock silver lode — a vein of
ore from fifty to eighty feet thick between its solid walls of
rock — a vein as wide as some of New York's streets. I will
remind the reader that in Pennsylvania a coal vein only eight
feet wide is considered ample. ^
Virginia was a busy city of streets and houses above ground.
Under it was another busy city, down in the bowels of the
earth, where a great population of men thronged in and out
among an intricate maze of tunnels and drifts, flitting hither
and thither under a winking sparkle of lights, and over their
heads towered a vast web of interlocking timbers that held the
walls of the gutted Comstock apart. These timbers were as
large as a man's body, and the framewoi'k stretched upward so
far that no eye could pierce to its top through the closing gloom.
It was like peering up through the clean-picked ribs and bones
of some colossal skeleton. Imagine such a framework two
miles long, sixty feet wide, and higher than any church spire in
America. Imagine this stately lattice-work stretching down
Broadway, from the St. Nicholas to Wall street, and a Fourth
the mark, perhaps, and may possibly be a little under it. To Esmeralda we
give $4,000,000. To Reese River and Humboldt $3,000,000, which is liberal
now, but may not be before the year is out. So we prognosticate that the
yield of bullion this year will be, about $30,000,000. Placing the number of
mills iu the Territory at one hundred, this gives to each the labor of pro-
ducing $300,000 in bullion during the twelve months. Allowing them to
run three hundred days in the year (which none of them more than do), this
makes their work average $1,000 a day. Say the mills average twenty tons
of rock a day and this rock worth $50 as a general thing, and you have the
actual work of our one hundred mills figured down " to a spot " — $1,000 a
day each, and $30,000,000 a year in the aggregate. — EnterprisB,
[A considerable over estimate. — M. T.]
UNDEKGEOUND POPULATION.
379
of July procession, reduced to pigmies, parading on top of it
and flaunting their flags, high above the pinnacle of Trinity
steeple. One can imagine that,^but he cannot well imagine
what that forest of timbers
cost, from the time they
were felled in the pineries
beyond Washoe Lake,
hauled up and around
Mount Davidson at atro-
cious rates of freightage,
then squared, let down in-
to the deep ma\^ of the
mine and built up there.
Twenty ample fortunes
would not timber one of
the greatest of those silver
mines. The Spanish pro-
verb says it requires a gold
mine to " run " a silver one,
and it is true. A beggar
with a silver mine is a piti-
able pauper indeed if he
cannot sell.
I spoke of the underground Vrginia as a city. The Gould
and Curry is only one single mine under there, among a great
many others ; yet the Gould and Curry's streets of dismal drifts
and tunnels were five miles in extent, altogether, and its pop-
ulation five hundred miners. Taken as a whole, the under-
ground city had some thirty miles of streets and a population
of five or six thousand. In this present day some of thosp
populations are at work from twelve to sixteen hundred feet
under Virginia and Gold Hill, and the signal-bells that teV-
them what the superintendent above ground desires them to
do are struck by telegraph as we strike a fire alarm. Some-
times men fall down a shaft, there, a thousand feet deep. In
such cases, the usual plan is to hold an inquest.
If jou wish to visit one of those mines, you may walk
TIMBBK SUPPORTS.
380
VISITING THE MINES.
?»'
">> ,^S
"fc~ ";
^"Wl
FKOM GALLERY TO GALLERT.
througli a tunnel about half a mile
long if yon prefer it, or you may
take the quicker plan of shooting
like a dart down a shaft, on a
small platform. It is like tumbling
down through an empty steeple, feet
first. "When you reach the bottom,
you take a candle and tramp through
drifts and tunnels where throngs of
men are digging and blasting ; you
watch them send up tubs full of great
lumps of stone — sil*er ore ; you select
choice specimens from the mass, as
souvenirs ; you admire the world of
skeleton timbering ; you reflect fre-
quently that you are buried under a
mountain, a thousand feet below day-
light ; being in the bottom of the
mine you climb from "gallery" to
"gallery," up endless ladders that
stand straight up and down ; when
your legs fail you at last, you lie
down in a small box-car in a cramped
" incline " like a half-up-ended sewer
and are dragged up to daylight feel-
as if you are crawling through a coffin
that has no end to -it. Arrived at the
top, you find a busy crowd of men
receiving the ascending cars and tubs
and dumping the ore from an eleva-
tion into long rows of bins capable of
holding half a dozen tons each ; un-
der the bins are rows of wagons load-
ing from chutes and trap-doors in the
bins, and down the long street is a
procession of_ these wagons wending
toward the silver mills with their
THK CAVED MINES. 381
rich freight. It is all " done," now, and there you are. You
need never go down again, for you have seen it all. If you
have forgotten the process of reducing the ore in the mill and
making the silver bars, you can go back and find it again in
my Esmeralda chapters if so disposed.
Of course these mines cave in, in places, occasionally, and
then it is worth one's while to take the risk of descending into
them and observing the crushing power exerted by the pressing
weight of a settling mountain. I published such an experience
in the Enterprise, once, and from it I will take an extract :
An Houb rsf the Caved Mines. — We journeyed down into the Opliir
mine, yesterday, to seie tlie earthquake. We could not go down the deep
incline, because it still has a propensity to cave In places. Therefore we
traveled through the long tunnel which enters the hill above the Opliir
office, and then by means of a series of long ladders, climbed away down
from the first to the fourth gallery. Traversing a drift, we came to the
Spanish line, passed five sets of timbers still uninj ured, and found the earth-
quake. Here was as complete a chaos as ever was seen — vast masses of earth
and splintered and broken timbers piled confusedly together, with scarcely
an aperture left large enough for a cat to creep through. Rubbish was still
falling at intervals from above, and one timber which had braced others ear-
lier in the day, was now crushed down out of its former position, showing
that the caving and settling of the tremendous mass was still going on. We
were in that portion of the Ophir known as the "north mines." Keturning
to the surface, we entered a tunnel leading into the Central, for the pur-
pose of getting into the main Ophir. Descending a long incline, in this
tunnel, we traversed a drift or so, and then went down a deep shaft from
whence we proceeded into the fifth gallery of the Ophir. From a side-drift
we crawled through a small hole and got into the midst of the earthquake
again — eartli and broken timbers mingled together without regard to grace
or symmetry. A large portion of the second, third and fourth galleries
had caved in and gone to destruction — the two latter at seven o'clock on the
previous evening.
At the turn-table, near the northern extremity of the fifth gallery, two
big piles of rubbish had forced their way through from the fifth gallery,
and from the looks of the timbers', more was about to come. These beaftis
are solid — eighteen inches square ; first, a great beam is laid on the floor,
tlien upright ones, five feet high, stand on it, supporting another horizontal
beam, and so on, square above square, like the framework of a window. The
superincumbent weight was sufficient to mash the ends of those great up-
right beams fairly into the solid wood of the horizontal ones three inches,
compressing and bending the upright beam till it curved like a bow. Before
the Spanish caved in, some of their twelve-inch horizontal timbers were com-
'382 TERRIBLE APPEARANCE OF THE RUINS.
pressed in this way until they were only five inches thick ! Imagine the
power it must talie to squeeze a solid log together in that way. Here, also,
was a, range of timbers, for a distance of twenty feet, tilted six inches out
of the perpendicular by the weight resting upon them from the caved gal-
leries above. You could hear things craclting and giving way, and it was
not pleasant to know that the world overhead was slowly and silently sink-
ing down upon you. The men down in 'the mine do not mind it, however.
Keturning along the fifth gallery, we struck the safe part of the Ophir
incline, and went down it to the sixth ; but we found ten inches of water
there, and had to come back. In repairing the damage done to the incline,
the puinp had to be stopped for two hours, and in the meantime the water
gained about a foot. However, the pump was at work again, and the flood-
water was decreasing. We climbed up to the fifth gallery again and sought
a deep shaft, whereby we might descend to another part of the sixth, out of
reach of the water, but suflfered disappointment, as the men had gone to din-
ner, and there was no one to man the windlass. So, having seen the earth-
quake, we climbed out at the Union incline and tunnel, and adjourned, all
dripping with candle grease and perspiration, to lunch at the Ophir office.
During the great flush year of 1863, Nevada [claims to
have] produced $25,000,000 in bullion — almost, if not quite, a
round million to each thousand inhabitants, which is very
well, considering that she was without agriculture and manu-
factures.* Silver mining was her sole productive industry.
* Since the above was in type, I learn from an official source that the
above figure is too high, and that the yield for 1863 did not exceed $30,000,000.
However, the day for large figures is approaching ; the Sutro Tunnpl is to
plow through the Comstock lode from end to end, at a depth of two thousand
feet, and then mining will be easy and comparatively inexpensive ; and the
momentous matters of drainage, and hoisting and hauling of ore will cease
to lie burdensome. This vast work will absorb many years, and millions of
dollars, in its completion ; but it will early yield money, for that desirable
epoch will begin as soon as it strikes the first end of the vein. The tunnel
will be some eight miles long, and will develop astonishing riches. Cars
will carry the ore through the tunnel and dump it in the mills and thus do
away with the present costly system of double handling and transportation
by mule teams. The water from the tunnel will furnish the motive power
for the mills. Mr. Sutro, the originator of this prodigious enterprise, is ons
of the few men in the world who is gifted with the pluck and perseverance
necessary to follow up and hound such an undertaking to its completion.
He lias converted several obstinate Congresses to a deserved friendliness to-
ward liis important work, and has gone up and down and to and fro iu Europe
until he has enlisted a great moneyed interest in it there.
OHAPTEE LIII.
EVERY now and then, in these days, the boys used to tell
me I ought to get one Jim Blaine to tell me the stir-
ring story of his grandfather's old ram — but they always added
that I must not mention the matter unless Jim was drunk at
the time — just comfortably and sociably drunk. They kept
this up until my curiosity was on the rack to hear the story. I
got to haunting Blaine ; but it was of no use, the boys always
found fault with his condition ; he was often moderately but
never satisfactorily drunk. I nevei* watched a man's condition
with such absorbing interest, such anxious solicitude ; I never
so pined to see a man uncompromisingly dilmk before. At
last, one evening I hurried to his cabin, for I learned that this
time his situation was such that even the most fastidious could
find no fault with it — ^he was tranquilly, serenely, symmetri-
cally drunk — not a hiccup to mar his voice, not a cloud upon
his brain thick enough to obscure his memory. As I entered,
he was sitting upon an empty powder-keg, with a clay pipe in
one hand and the other raised to command silence. ■ His face
was round,, red, and very serious; his throat was bare and hia
hair tumbled ; in general appearance and costume he was a
stalwart miner of the period. On the pine table stood a
candle, and its dim light revealed " the boys " sitting here and
there on bunks, candle-boxes, powder-kegs, etc. They said :
" Sh — ! Don't speak — he's going to commence."
THE STOEY OF THE OLD BAM.
I found a seat at once, and Blaine said :
" I don't reckon them times will ever come again. There
384 GRANDFATHER'S OLD RAM.
never was a more bullier old ram than what he was. Grand-
father fetched him from Illinois — got him of a man by the
name of Yates
—Bill Tates—
maybe you
might have
heard of him ;
his father was a
deacon — Bap-
tist— and he was
a rustler, too ; a
man had to get
up rather early
to get the start
^ of old Thankful
Tates ; it was
him that put the
Greens up to
jining teams
-with my grand-
father when he
moved west. Seth Green was prob'ly the pick of the flock ;
he married a Wilkerson — Sarah Wilkerson — good cretur, she
was — one of the likeliest heifers that was ever raised in old
Stoddard, everybody said that knowed her. She could- heft a
bar'l of flour as easy as I can flirt a flapjack. And spin ?
Don't mention it! Independent? Humph! "When Sile
Hawkins come a browsing around her, she let him know that
for all his tin he couldn't trot in harness alongside of her.
Tou see, Sile Hawkins was — no, it warn't Sile Hawkins, after
all — it was a galoot by the name of Filkins — I disremember
his first name ; but he was a stump — come into pra'r meeting
drunk, one night, hooraying for Nixon, becuz he thougl^t it
was a primary ; and old deacon Ferguson up and scooted him
through the window and he lit on old Miss Jefferson's head,
poor old filly. She wasa good soul — had a glass eye and used
to lend it to old Miss Wagner, that hadn't any, to receive
JIM BLAINi:.
MISS WAGNER'S GLASS EYE.
385
company in ; it warn't big enough, and when Miss Wagner
wam't noticing, it would get twisted around in the socket, and
HUBKAH FOR NIXON.
look up, maybe, or out to one side, and every which way,
while t' other one was looking as straight ahead as a spy-glass,
Grown people didn't mind it, but it most always made the
children cry, it was so sort of scary. She tried packing it in raw
cotton, but it wouldn't work, somehow — the cotton would get
loose and stick out and look so kind of awful that the children
couldn't stand it no way. She was always dropping it out, and
turning up her old dead-light on the company empty, and
making them oncomfortable, becuz she never could tell when
it hopped out, being blind on that side, you see. So some-
body would have to hunch her and say, " Your game eye has
fetched loose, Miss Wagner dear" — and then all of them
would have to sit and wait till she jammed it in again — wrong
side before, as a general thing, and green as a bird's ^^^, being
a bashful cretur and easy sot back before company. But
25t
386
IN THE COFFIN BUSINESS.
MISS "WAGNEK.
being wrong side before wam't much difference, anyway,
becuz her own eye was sky-blue and the glass one was yaller
on the front side, so which-
ever way she turned it it
didn't match nohow. Old
Miss Wagner was consid-
erable on the borrow, she
was. When she had a
quilting, or Dorcas S'iety at
her house she gen'ally bor-
.55>. W \. dlS^M i^.'^^^ rowed Miss Higgins's wood-
en leg to stump around on ;
it was considerable shorter
S^^^W^^^^^lHWHlBw than her other pin, but
much she minded that. She
said she couldn't abide
crutches when she Kad company, becuz they were so slow ;
said when she had company and things had to be done, she
wanted to get up and hump herself. She was as bald as
a jug, and so she used to borrow Miss Jacops's wig — Miss
Jacops was the coffin-peddler's wife — a ratty old buzzard, he
was, that used to go roosting around where people was sick,
waiting for 'em ; aiid there that old rip would sit all day, in
the shade, on a coffin that he judged would fit the can'idate ;
and if it was a slow customer and kind of uncertain, he'd
fetch his rations and a blanket along and sleep in the coffin
nights. He was anchored out that way, in frosty weather, for
about three weeks, once, before old Eobbins's place, waiting
for him ; and after that, for as much as two years, Jacops was
not on speaking terms with the old man, on account of his
disapp'inting him. He got- one of his feet froze, and lost
money, too, becuz old Eobbins took a favorable turn and got
well. The next time Eobbins got sick, Jacops tried to make
up with him, and varnished up the same old coffin and fetched
it along ; but old Eobbins was too many for him ; he had him
in, and 'peared to be powerful weak ; he bought the coffin for
ten dollars and Jacops was to pay it back and twenty-five more
OLD BOBBINS COLLECTS DAMAGES.
387
besides if Eobbins didn't like the coffin after he'd tried it.
And then Eobbins died, and at the funeral he bursted off the
VTAITma FOR A CUSTOMEB.
lid and riz up in his shroud and told the parson to let up on
the performances, becuz he could not stand such a coffin as
that. You see he had been in a trance once before, when he
was young, and he took the chances on another, cal'lating that
if he made the trip it was money in his pocket, and if he
missed fire he couldn't lose a cent. And by George he sued
Jacops for the rhino and got jedgment; and he set up the
coffin in his back parlor and said he 'lowed to take his time,
now. It was always an aggravation to Jacops, the way that
miserable bid thing acted. He moved back to Indiany pretty
goon — went to Wellsvilie — ^Wellsville was the place the Hog-
adorns was from. Mighty fine family. Old Maryland stock.
Old Squire Hogadorn could carry around more mixed licker,
and cuss better than most any man I ever see. His second
wife was the widder Billings— she that was Becky Martin ;
her dam was deacon Dunlap's first wife. Her oldest child,
Maria, married a missionary, and died in grace — et up by the
388
'EVERYTHING DOES GOOD.'
They et him, too, poor feller — biled him. It wam't
the custom, so they say, but they explained to friends of his'n
that went down there to bring away his things, that they'd
tried missionaries every other way and never could get any
good out of 'em — and so it annoyed all his relations to find
out that that man's life Avas fooled away just out of a dern'd
experiment, so to speak. But mind you, there ain't anything
ever reely lost ; everything that people can't understand and
don't see the reason of does good if you only hold on and give
it a fair sliake ; Prov'dence don't fire no blank ca'tridges, boys.
That there missionary's substance, unbeknowns to himself,
actu'ly converted every last one of them heathens that took a
chance at the barbacue. Nothing ever fetched them but that.
Don't -tell Trie it was an accident that he was biled. There
ain't no such a thing as an
accident. When my uncle
Lem was leaning up agin
a scaffolding once, sick, lar
drunkj or suthin, an Irish-
man with a hod full of
bricks fell on him out of
the third story and broke
the old man's back in two
places. People said it was
an accident. Much acci-
dent there was about that.
He didn't know what he
was there for, but he was
there for a good object. If
he hadn't been there the
Irishman would have been
killed. Nobody can ever
make me believe anything
difiierent from that. Uncle
Lem's dog was there. Why didn't the Irishman fall on the
dog ? Becuz the dog would a seen him a coming and stood from
under. That's the reason the dog wam't appinted. A dog
WAS TO BE TIIEPE.
A MODEL WIDOW.
389
can't be depended on to carry ont a special providence. Mark
my words it was a put-up thing. Accidents don't happen,
boys. Uncle Lem's dog — I wish you could a seen that dog.
He was a reglar shepherd — or ruther he was
part bull and part shepherd — splendid ani-
mal ; belonged to parson Hagar before Uncle
Lem got him. Parson Hagar belonged to
the Western Reserve Hagars ; prime family ;
his mother was a "Watson ; one of his sisters
married a Wheeler ; they settled in Morgan
county, and he got nipped by the machinery
in a carpet factory and went through in less
than a quarter of a minute ; his widder
bought the piece of carpet that had his
remains wove in, and people come a hundred
mile to 'tend the funeral. There was four-
teen yards in the piece. She wouldn't let ^P^5F
them I'oU him up, but planted him just so ^^gg!
— full length. The church was middling ^pws
small where they preached the funeral, and Vw "
they had to let one end of the coffin stick r^;^^
out of the window. They didn't bury him
. — they planted one end, and let him stand
up, same as a monmnent. And they nailed
a sign on it and put — put on — ^put on it —
sacred to — the m-e-m-o-r-y — of fourteen j
y-arr-d-s — of three-ply — car — pet — con-
taining all that was — m-o-r-t-a-l — of — of —
W-i-1-l-i-a.-m— W-h-e— "
Jim Blaine had been growing gradually ^^ mokuimst.
drowsy and drowsier — his head nodded,
once, twice, three times — dropped peacefully upon his breast,
and he fell tranquilly asleep. The tears were running down
the boys' cheeks — they were suffocating with suppressed laugh-
ter—and had been from the start, though I had never noticed
it. I perceived that I was " sold." I lea,rned then that Jim
Blaine's peculiarity was that whenever he reached a certain
390
THE JOKE OUT.
stage of intoxication, no human power could keep him, from
setting out, with impressive unction, to tell about a wonderful
adventure which he had once had with his grandfather's old
ram — and the mention of the ram in the first sentence was as
far as any man had ever heard him get, concerning it. He
always maundered off', interminably, from one thing to another,
till his whisky got the best of him and he fell asleep. What
the thing was that happened to him and his grandfather's old
ram is a dark mystery to this day, for nobody has ever yet
foimd out.
\'"3\
M
mi
'm
V,
mm \
vw
II
« -^
CHAPTEE LIY.
OF course there was a large Chinese population in Virginia
— ^it is the case with every town and city on the Pacific
coast. They are a harmless race when white men either let
them alone or treat them no worse than dogs ; in fact they are
almost entirely harmless anyhow, for they seldom think of re-
senting the vilest inSults or the cruelest injuries. They are
quiet, peaceahle, tractable, free from drunkenness, and they
are as indiastrious as the day is long. A disorderly Chinaman
is rare, and a lazy one does not exist. So long as a Chinaman
has strength to use his hands he needs no support from any-
body ; white men often complain of want of work, but a China-
man offers no such complaint ; he always manages to find
something to do. He is a great convenience to everybody —
even to the worst class of white men, for he bears the most of
their sins, suffering fines for their .petty thefts, imprisonment
for their robberies, and death for their murders. Any white
man can swear a Chinaman's Kfe away in the courts, but no
Chinaman .can testify against a white man. Ours is the " land
of the free" — ^nobody denies that — nobody challenges it.
[Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.] As I
write, news comes that in broad daylight in San Francisco,
some boys have stoned an inoffensive Chinaman to death, and
that although a, large crowd witnessed the shameful deed, no
one interfered.
There are seventy thousand (and possibly one hundred
thousand) Chinamen on the Pacific coast. There were about
392 CHINESE IN VIRGINIA CITY.
a thousand in Virginia. Tliey were penned into a " Chinese
quarter " — a thing which they do not particularly object to, as
they are fond of herding together. Their buildings were of
wood; usually only one story high, and set thickly together
along streets scarcely wide enough for a wagon to pass through.
Their quarter was a little removed from the rest of the town.
The chief employment of Chinamen in towns is to wash
clothing. They always send a bill, like this below, pinned to
the clothes. It is mere ceremony, for it does not enlighten
the customer much. Their price for washing
\ i was $2.50 per dozen — rather cheaper than white
a-^R# people could aiford to wash for at that time. A
*" very common sign on the Chinese houses was :
^jT " See Yup, Washer and Ironer " ; "Hong Wo,
^ ^ i ^'^asher"; "Sam Sing & Ah Hop, Washing."
r The house servants, cooks, etc., in California and
Nevada, were chiefly Chinamen. There were
few white servants and no Chinawomen so em-
■ J%^ ployed. Chinamen make good house servants,
^"■y^ being quick, obedient, patient, quick to learn
■^ \J^ and tirelessly industrious. They do not need to
be taught a thing twice, as a general thing. They
are imitative. If a Chinaman were to see his
i master break up a centre table, in a passion, and
kindle a fire with it, that Chinaman would be
likely to resort to the furniture for fuel foi'ever
afterward.
All Chinamen can read, write and cipher
with easy facility — ^pity but all our petted voters
could. In California they rent little patches
of ground and do a deal of gardening. They
will raise surprising crops of vegetables on a
sand pile. They waste nothing. What is rub-
bish to a Christian, a Chinaman carefully preserves and makes
useful in one way or apother. He gathers up all the old oyster
•and sardine cans that white people throw away, and pro-
cures marketable tin and solder from them by melting.
CHINESE AT HOME.
393
-^O'-
—
\ 1
'
=l.
^'
'^'H
'
s
\
\ xU^
,\
i'
IMITATION.
He g9,thers tip old bones and turns them into manure.
In California lie gets a living out of old mining claims
that white men have
abandoned as exr
hausted and worth-
less— and then the
officers come down
on him once a month
with an exorbitant
swindle to which the
legislature has given
the broad, general
name of " foreign "
mining tax, but it is
usually inilicted on
no foreigners but
Chinamen. This
swindle has in some
cases been repeated
once or twice on the same victim in the course of the same
month — bjit the public treasury was not additionally enriched
by it, probably.
Chinamen hold their dead in great reverence — they worship
their departed ancestors, in fact. Hence, in China, a man's front
yard, back yard, or any other part of his premises, is made his
family burying ground, in order that he may visit the graves
at any and all times. Therefore that huge enrpire is one
mighty cemetery; it is ridged and wringled" from its centre to
its circumference with graves — and inasmuch as every foot of
ground must be made to do its utmost, in China, lest the swarm-
ing population suffer for food, the very graves are cultivated
and yield a harvest, custom holding this to be no dishonor to
the dead. Since the departed are held in such worshipful
reverence, a Chinaman cannot bear that any indignity be
offered the places where they sleep. Mr. Burlingame said that
herein lay China's bitter opposition to raUroads ; a road
could not be built anywhere in the empire without disturbing
the graves of their ancestors or friends.
394 CHINESE IMMIGRATION.
A Chinaman hardly believes he could enjoy the hereafter
except his body lay in his beloved China ; also, he desires to
receive, himself, after death, that worship with which h^ has
honored his dead that preceded him. Therefore, if he visits a
foreign country, he makes arrangements to have his bones re-
turned to China in case he dies ; if he hires to go to a foreign
cpuntry on a labor contract, there is always a stipulation that
his body shall be taken back to China if he dies ; if the govern-
ment sells a gang of Coolies tb a foreigner for the usual five-
year terra, it is specified in, thie contract that their bodies shall
be restored to China in case of death. On the Pacific coast
the Chinamen all belong to one or another of several great
companies or organizations, and these companies keep track of
their members, register their names, and ship their bodies home
"when they die. The See Yup Company is held to be the
largest of these. The Ning Yeong Company is next, and
numbers eighteen thousand members on the coast. Its head-
quarters are at San Francisco, where it has a costly temple,
several great ofSeers (one of whom keeps regal state in seclu-
sion and cannot be approached by common htmianity), and a
numerous priesthood. In it I was shown a register of its mem-
bers, with the dead and the date of their shipment to China
duly marked. Eveiy ship that sails from San Francisco carries
away a heavy freight of Chinese corpses — or did, at least, until
the legislature, with an ingenious refinement of Christian
cruelty, forbade the shipments, as a neat underhanded way of
deterring Chinese immigration. The bill was ofiered, whether
it passed or not. It is my impression that it passed. There
was another bill — ^it became a law — compelling every incoming
Chinaman to be vaccinated on the wharf and pay a duly ap-
pointed quack (no decent doctor would defile himself with
such legalized robbery) ten dollars for it. As few importers
of Chinese would want to go to an expense like that, the law-
makers thought this would be another heavy blow to Chinese
immigration.
What the Chinese quarter of Yirginia was like — or, indeed,
what the Chinese quarter of any Pacific coast town was and is
A VISIT TO CHINATOWN. 895
like — ^may be gathered from this item which I printed in the
Enterprise while reporting for that paper :
Chinatown. — Accompanied by a f ellovi' reporter, we made a trip through
our Chinese quarter the other night. The Chinese have built their portion
of the city to suit themselves ; and as they keep neither carriages nor
wagons, their streets are not wide enough, as a general thing, to admit of
the passage of vehicles. At ten o'clock at night the Chinaman may be seen
in all his glory. In every little cooped-up, dingy cavern of a hut, faint with
the odor of burning Josh-lights and with nothing to see the gloom by save
the sickly, guttering tallow candle, *ere two or three yellow, long-tailed
vagabonds, coiled up on a sort of short truckle-bed, smoking opium, motion-
less and with their lustreless eyes turned inward from excess of satisfaction
—or rather the recent smoker looks thus, immediately after having passed
the pipe to his neighbor — for opium-smpking is a comfortless operation, and
requires constant attention. A lamp sits on the bed, the length of the long
pipe-stem from the smoker's mouth ; he puts a pellet of opium on the end of
a wire, sets it on fire, and plasters it into the pipe much as a Christian would
fill a hole with putty ; then he applies the bowl to the lamp and proceeds to
smoke — and the stewing and frying of the drug and the gurgling of the
juices in the stem would wellnigh turn the stomach of a statue. John
likes it, though ; it soothes him, he takes about two dozen whiflfs, and then
rolls over to dream. Heaven only knows what, for we could not imagine by
looking at the soggy creature. Possibly in his visions he travels far away
from the gross world and his regular washing, and feasts on succulent rats
and birds'-nests in Paradise.
Mr. Ah Sing keeps a general grocery and provision store at No. 13 Wang
street. He lavished his hospitality upon our party in the friendliest way.
He had various kinds of colored and colorless wines and brandies, with un-
pronouncable names, imported from China in little crockery jugs, and which
he ofllered to ua in dainty little miniature wash-basins of porcelain. He
ofTered us a mess of birds'-nests; also, small, neat sausages, of which we
could have swallowed several yards if we had chosen to try, but we sus-
pected that each link contained the corpse of a mouse, and therefore
refrained. Mr. Sjng had in his store a thousand articles of merchandise,
curious to behold, impossible to imagine the uses of, and beyond our ability
to describe.
His ducks, however, and his eggs, we could understand ; the former were
split open and flattened out like codfish, and came from China in that
shape, and the latter were plastered over with some kind of paste which
kept them fresh and palatable through the long voyage.
We found Mr. Hong Wo, No. 37 Chow-chow street, making up a lottery
scheme — ^in fact we found a dozen others occupied in the same way in vari-
ous parts of the quarter, for about every third Chinaman runs a lottery, and
the balance of the tribe " buck " at it. " Tom," who speaks faultless English,
and used to be chief and only cook to the Territorial Ent&rprm, when the
896
SPECIMEN BUSINESS MEN.
establishment kept bachelor's hall two years ago, said that " Sometime
Chinaman buy ticket one dollar hap, ketch um two tree hundred, sometime
no ketch um anyting ; lottery like one man fight um seventy — may-be he
whip, may-be he get whip heself, welly good." However, the percentage
being sixty-nine against him, the chances are, as a general thing, that " he
iIhi |U[
CHINESE LOTTERY.
get whip heself." We could not see that these lotteries differed in any
respect from our own, save that the figures being Chinese, no ignorant white
man might ever hope to succeed in telling " fother from which ; " the man-
ner of drawing is similar to ours.
Mr. See Yup keeps a fancy store on Live Fox street. He sold us fans of
white feathers, gorgeously ornamented ; perfumery that smelled like Lim-
burger cheese, Chinese pens, and watch-charms made of a stone unscratch-
able vrith steel instruments, yet polished and tinted like the inner coat of a
sea-shell.* As tokens of his esteem. See Yup presented the party with
gaudy plumes made of gold tinsel and trimmed with peacocks' feathers.
We ate chow-chow with chopstitks in the celestial restaurants ; our com-
rade chided the moon-eyed damsels in front of the houses for their want of fem-
inine reserve ; we received protecting Josh-lights from our hosts and " dick-
*A peculiar species of the "jade-stone" — to a Chinaman peculiarly
precious.
ABUSE OF THE CHINESE.
397
ered " for a pagan ^°^ °^ tw- Finally, we were impressed with tlie genius
of a CMnese book-keeper ; lie figured up his accounts on a machine like a grid-
iron with buttons strung on its bars ; the different rows represented units.
tens, hundreds and thousands. He fingered them with incredible rapidity
in fact, he pushed them from place to place as fast as a musical professor's
fingers travel over the keys of a piano.
They are a kindly disposed, well-meaning race, and are
respected and well treated by the upper classes, all over the
Pacific coast. No Californian gentleman w lady ever abuses
or oppresses a Chinaman, under any circumstances, an explana-
tion that seems to be much needed in the East. Only the scum
of the population do it — they and their chfldren ; they, and,
naturally and consistently, the policemen and politicians, like-
wise, for these are the dust-licking pimps and slaves of the
scum, there as well as elsewhere in America.
OHAPTEE LY.
I BEGAN to get tired of staying in one place so long.
There was no longer satisfying variety in going down to
Carson tp report the proceedings of the legislature once a year,
and horse-races and pumpkin-shows once in three months;
(they had got to raising pumpkins and potatoes in "Washoe
Valle}', and of course one of the first achievements of the
legislature was to institute a ten-thousand-dollar Agricultural
i'air to show off forty dollars' worth of those pumpkins in —
however, the territorial legislature was usually spoken of as
the " asylum "). I wanted to see San Francisco. I wanted to
go somewhere. I wanted — I did not know what I wanted. I
had the " spring fever " and wanted a change, principally, no
douht. Besides, a convention had framed a State Constitu-
tion ; nine men out of every ten wanted an office ; I believed
that these gentlemen would "treat" the moneyless and the
irresponsible among the population into adopting the consti-
tution and thus wellnigh killing the country (it could not
well carry such a load as a State government, since it had
nothing to tax that could stand a tax, for undeveloped mines
could not, and there were not fifty developed ones in the land,
there was but little realty to tax, and it did seem as if nobody
was ever going to think of the simple salvation of infiicting a
money penalty on murder). I believed that a State government
would destroy the " flush times," and I wanted to get away. I
believed that the mining stocks I had on hand would soon be
worth $100,000, and thought if they reached, that before the
Constitution was adopted, I would sell out and make myself
AN OLD SCHOOLMATE.
399
eecure from the crasli the change of government was going to
bring. I considered $100,000 sufficient to go home with
decently, though it was but a small amount compared to what
I had been expecting to return with. I felt rather down-
hearted about it, but I tried to comfort myself with the re-
flection that with such a sum I could not fall into want.
About this time a schoolmate of mine whom I had not seen
since boyhood, came tramping in on foot from Reese River, a
very allegory of Poverty. The son of wealthy parents, here
he was, in a strange land, hungry, bootless, mantled in an
ancient horse-blanket, roofed
with a brimless hat, and so
generally and bo extrava-
gantly dilapidated that he
could have " taken the shine
out of the Prodigal Son
himself," as he pleasantly
remarked. He wanted to
borrow forty-six dollars —
twenty-six to take him to
San Francisco, and twenty
for something else ; to buy
some soap with, maybe, for
he needed it. I found I had
but little more than the
amount wanted, in my pack-
et; so I stepped in and bor-
rowed forty-six dollars of a
banker (on twenty days' time,
withoulf the formality of a
note), and gave it him, rather
than walk half a block to the
'office, where I had some specie laid up. If anybody had told
me that it would take me two years to pay back that forty-six
dollars to the banker (for I did not expect it of the Prodigal,
and was not disappointed), I would have felt injured. And
so would the banker.
AN OLD FKIEHD.
400 IN THE EDITORIAL CHAIE.
I wanted a change. I wanted variety of some kind. It
came. Mr. Goodman went away for a week and left me the
post of chief editor. It destroyed me. The first day, I wrote
my "leader" in the forenoon. The second day, I had no
subject and put it oif till the afternoon. The third day I put
it off till evening, and then copied an elaborate editorial out
of the "American Cyclopedia," that steadfast friend of the
editor, all over this land. The fourth day I " fooled around "
till midnight, and then fell back on the Cyclopedia again.
The fifth day I cudgeled my brain till midnight, and then
kept the press waiting while I penned some bitter personalities
on six different people. The sixth day I labored in anguish
till far into the night and brought forth — nothing. The paper
went to press without an editorial. The seventh day I re-
signed. On the eighth, Mr. Goodman returned and found
six duels on his hands — my personalities had borne fruit.
liobody, except he has tried it, knows what it is to be an
editor. It is easy to scribble local rubbish, with the facts all
before you ; it is easy to clip selections from other papers ; it
is easy to string out a correspondence from any locality ; but
it is unspeakable hardship to write editorials. Svijects are the
trouble — the dreary lack of them, I mean. Every day, it is
drag, drag, drag — think, and worry and suffer — all the world
is a dull blank, and yet the editorial colmims must be filled.
Only give the editor a siihject, and his work is done — it is no
trouble to write it up ; but fancy how you would feel if you
had to pump your brains dry every day in the week, fifty-two
weeks in the year. It makes one low spirited simply to think
of it. The matter that each editor of a daily paper in America
writes in the course of a year would fill from four to eight
bulky volumes like this book ! Fancy what a library an editoi-'s
work would make, after twenty or thirty years' service. Yet
people often marvel that Dickens, Scott, Bulwer, Dumas, etc.,
have been able to produce so many books. If these authors
had wrought as voluminously as newspaper editors do, the
result would be something to marvel at, indeed. How editors
can continue this tremendous labor, this exhausting consump-
ALMOST AN AGREEABLE OFFER. 401
tion of brain fibre (for their work is creative, and not a mere
mecbanieal laying-np of facts, like reporting), day after day'
and year after year, is incomprebensible. Preachers take two
months' holiday in midsummer, for they find that to produce two
sermons a week is wearing, in the long run. In truth it must
be so, and is so ; and therefore, how an editor can take from
ten to twenty texts and build upon them from ten to twenty
painstaking editorials a week and keep it up all the year round,
is farther beyond comprehension than ever. Ever since I
survived my week as editor, I have found at least one pleasure
in any newspaper that comes to my hand ; it is in admiring
the long columns of editorial, and wondering to myself how
in the mischief he did it ! .
Mr. Goodman's return relieved me of employment, unless
I chose to become a reporter again. I could not do that ; I
could not serve in the ranks after being General of the army.
So I thought I would depart and go abroad into the world
somewhere. Just at this juncture, Dan, my associate in the
reportorial department, told me, casually, that two citizens had
been trying to persuade him to go with them to New York
and aid in selling a rich silver mine which they had discovered
and secured in a new mining district in our neighborhood- He
said they ofiered to pay his expenses and give him one third
of the proceeds of the sale. He had refused to go. It was
the very opportunity I wanted. I abused him for keeping so
quiet about it, and not mentioning it sooner. He said it had
not occurred to him that I would like to go, and so he had
recommended them to apply to Marshall, the reporter of the
other paper. I asked Dan if it was a good, honest mine,, and
no swindle. He said the men had shown him nine tons of the.
rock, which they had got out to take to New York, and he
could cheerfully say that he had seen but little rock, iui Wevadk
that was richer ; and moreover, he said that they had secured
a tract of valuable timber and a mill-site, near the mine; My
first idea was to kill Dan. But I changed my miiid, notwith-
standing I was so angry, for I thought maybe the chance was-
not yet lost. Dan said it was by no means lost j; that the men
26t
402 DEPARTURE FROM VIRGINIA CITT.
were absent at the mine again, and would not be in Virginia
to leave for the East for some ten days ; that they had re-
quested him to do the talking to Marshall, and he had promised
that he would either secure Marshall or somebody else for
them by the time they got back ; he would now say nothing
to anybody till they returned, and then fulfil his promise by
furnishing me to them.
It was splendid. I went to bed all on fire with excite-
ment ; for nobody had yet gone East to sell a ITevada silver
mine, and the field was white for the sickle. I felt that such
a mine as the one described by Dan would bring a princely
sum in New York, and sell without delay or difficulty. I
could not sleep, my fancy so rioted through its castles in the
air. It was the "blind lead" come again.
I^ext day I got away, on the coach, with the usual eclat
attending ^epartiu-es of old citizens, — for if you have only half
, a dozen friends out there they will make noise for a hundred
rather than let you seem to go away neglected and unregretted
—and Dan promised to keep strict watch for the men that had
the mine to sell.
The trip was signalized but by one little incident, and that
occurred just as we were about to start. A very seedy looking
vagabond passenger got out of the stage a moment to wait
till the usual ballast of silver bricks was thrown in. He was
standing -on the pavement, when an awkward express employe,
carrying a brick weighing a himdred pounds, stumbled and
let it fall -on the bummer's foot. He instantly dropped on the
ground and began to howl in the most heart-breaking way. A
sympathizing o-owd gathered around and were going to pull
his boot off; but he screamed louder than ever and they
desisted ; then he fellto gasping, and between the gasps ejacu-
lated "Brandy ! for Heaven's sake, brandy ! " They poured
half a pint down him, and it wonderfully restored and com-
forted him. Then he begged the people to assist him to the
stage, which was done. The express people urged him to
have a doctor at their expense, but he declined, and said that
if he only had a little brandy to take along with him, to soothe
ONE LITTLE INCIDENT.
403
-- ^ «
at \ * It *-
hie paroxyms of pain when they came on, he would be grate-
M and content. He was quickly supplied with two bottles,
and we drove off. He was so smiling and happy after that,
that I could not refrain from asking him how he could possibly
be so comfortable ___
with a crushed foot.
"Well," said he,
"I hadn't had a
drink for twelve
hours, and hadn't a
cent to my name. I
was most perishing
— ^and so, when that
duffer dropped that
hundred-pounder on
ray foot, I see my
chance. Got a cork
leg, you know ! " and
he pulled up his pan-
taloons and proved
it.
He was as drunk
as a lord all day long,
and full of chuck-
lings over his timely
ingenuity.
One drunken
man necessarily re- fabewell and accident.
minds one of an-
other. I ofice heard a gentleman tell about an incident which
he witnessed in a Califomian bar-room. He entitled it " Ye
Modest Man Taketh a Drink." It was nothing but a bit of
acting, but it seemed to me a perfect rendering, and worthy of
Toodles himself. The modest man, tolerably far gone wiih beer
and other matters, enters a saloon (twenty-five cents is the price
for anything and everything, and specie the only money used)
and lays down a half dollar; calls for whiskey and drinks it;
404
ANOTHER ANECDOTK.
the bar-keeper makes change and lays the quarter in a wet
place on the counter ; the modest man fumbles at it with
nerveless fingers, but it slips and the water holds it ; he contem-
plates it, and tries again ; same result ; observes that people
are interested in what he is at, blushes ; fumblps at the quarter
again — blushes — puts his forefinger carefully, slowly down, to
make sure of his aim — pushes the coin toward the bar-keeper,
and says with a sigh :
" ('ie !) Gimme a cigar ! "
Naturally, another gentleman present tdd about another
drunken man. He said he reeled toward home late at night ;
made a mistake and en-
tered the wrong gate;
thought he saw a dog on
the stoop ; and it was — ^an
iron one. He stopped and
considered ; wondered if
it was a dangerous dog;
ventured to say "Be (hie)
begone!" No effect. Then
he approached warily,
and adopted conciliation;
up his lips and tried to
(thistle, but failed ; stiU approached,
aying, " Poor dog !— doggy, doggy,
loggy ! — poor doggy-dog ! " Got
up on the stoop, still petting with
lond names; till master of the ad-
vantages ; then exclaimed, " Leave,
you thief!" — planted a vindictive
kick in his ribs, and went head-over-
A pause ; a sigh or two of paiu.
' GIMMR A CIGAR ! '
heels overboard, of course.
and then a remark in a reflective voice
"Awful solid dog. What could he ben eating? ('ie!)
Rocks, p'raps. Such animals is dangerous. 'At's what / say
— they're dangerous. If a man — ('ic !)— if a man wants to
feed a dog on rocks, let him/eed him on rocks ; 'at's all
right;
AN INCIDENT OF MOUNT DAVIDSON. ^05
but let him keep him at home — not have him layin' round pro-
miscuous, where ('ic !) where people's liable to stumble over
him when they ain't noticin' ! "
It was not without regret that I took a last look at the tiny
. flag (it was thirty-five feet long and ten feet wide) fluttering
like a lady's handkerchief fi*om the topmost peak of Mount
Davidson, two thousand feet above Virginia's roofs, and felt
that doubtless I was bidding a permanent farewell to a city
which had afforded me the most vigorous enjoyment of life I
had ever experieiiced. And this reminds me of an incident
which the dullest memory Virginia could boast at the time it
happened must vividly recall, at times, till its possessor diee.
Late one summer afternoon we had a rain shower. That was
astonishing enough, in itself, to set the whole town buzzing,
for it only rains (during a week or two weeks) in the winter
in Ifevada, and even then not enough at a time to make it
worth while for any merchant to keep umbrellas for sale. But
the rain was not the chief wonder. It only lasted five or ten
minutes ; while tha.people were still talking about it all the
heavens gathered to themselves a dense blackness as of mid-
night.. All the vast eastern front of Mount Davidson, over-
looking the city, put on such a funereal gloom that only the
nearness and solidity of the mountain made its outlines even
faintly distinguishable from the dead blackness of the heavens
they rested against. This unaccustomed sight turned all eyes
toward the mountain ; and as they looked, a little tongue of
rich golden flame was seen waving and quivering in the heart
of the midnight, away up on the extreme summit ! In a few
minutes the streets were packed with people, gazing with
hardly an uttered word, at the one brilliant mote in the brooding
world of darkness. It flicked like a candle-flame, and looked
no larger; but with such a background it was wonderfully
bright, small as it was. It was the flag! — though no one sus-
pected it at first, it seemed so like a supernatural visitor of
some kind — a mysterious messenger of good tidings, some
were fain to believe. It was the nation's emblem transfigured
by the departing rays of a sun that was entirely palled from
406
THE WONDEKFUL VISITOK.
View ; and on no other object did the glory fall, m all the
broad panorama of mountain ranges and deserts. Not even
iipon the staff of the flag-for that, a needle in the distance
at any time, was now untouched by the light and undistm-
guishable in the gloom. For a whole hour the weird visitor
winked and burned in its lofty sohtude, and still the thousands
of uplifted eyes watched it with fascmated interest. How the
people were wrought up! The superstition grew apace that
this was a mystic courier come with great news from the war
—the poetry of the idea excusing and commending it— and on
THE HEBAI/D OP OLAD NBWS.
it spread, from heart to heart, from lip to Hp and from street
to street, till there was a general impulse to have out the
military and welcome the bright waif with a salvo of artillery.
And all that time one sorely tried man, the telegraph
operator sworn to official- secrecy, had to lock his lips and chain
his tongue with a silence that was Hke to rend them ; for he,
and he only, of all the speculating multitude, knew the great
GOOD NEWS FROM THE EAST. 407
things this sinking sun had seen that day in the east — Yicks-
burg fallen, and the Union arms victorious at Gettysburg !
But for the journalistic monopoly that forbade the slightest
revealment of eastern news till a day after its publication in
the California papers, the glorified flag on Mount Davidson
would have been saluted and re-saluted, that memorable even-
ing, as long as there was a charge of powder to thunder with ;
the city would have been illuminated, and every man that had
any respect for himself would have got drunk, — as was the
custom of the country on all occasions of public moment.
Even at this distant day I cannot think of this needlessly
marred supreme opportunity without regret. What a time
we mighj: have had 1
CHAPTER LTI.
"TTTE rumbled over the plains and valleys, climbed tbe
V V Sierras to the clouds, and looked down upon summer-
clad California. And I will remark here, in passing, that all
Scenery in California requires distance to give it its highest
charm. The mountains are imposing in their sublimity and
their majesty of form and altitude, from any point of view —
but one must have distance to soften their ruggedness and en-
rich their tintings ; a Califomian forest is best at a little dis-
tance, for there is a sad poverty of variety in species, the trees
being chiefly of one monotonous family — redwood, pine, spruce,
fir — and so, at a near view there is a wearisome sameness of
attitude in their rigid arms, stretched downward and outward
in one continued and reiterated appeal to all men to " Sh ! —
don't say a word ! — you might disturb somebody ! " Close at
hand, too, there is a reliefless and relentless smeU of pitch and
turpentine; there is a ceaseless melancholy in their sighing
and complaining foliage ; one walks over a soundless carpet of
beaten yellow bark and dead spines of the foliage till he feels
like a wandering spirit bereft of a footfall ; he tires of the end-
less tufts of needles and yearns for substantial, shapely leaves ;
he looks for moss and grass to loll upon, and finds none, for
where there is no bark there is naked clay and dirt, enemies
to pensive musing and clean apparel. Often a grassy plain
in California, is what it should be, but often, too, it is best
contemplated at a distance, because although its grass blades
are tall, they stand up vindictively straight and self-sufficient,
and are unsociably wide apart, with uncomely spots of barren
sand between.
One of the queerest things I know^i^^s to hear tourists
EASTEEN LANDSCAPES.
409
from "the States" go into ecstasies over the loveliness of
" ever-blooming California." And they always do go into that
sort of ecstasies. But perhaps they -would modify them if they
knew how old Californians, with the memory full upon them
of the dust-covered and questionable summer greens of Cali-
fornian "verdure,"
stand astonished, and
filled with worship-
ping admiration,in the
presence of the lavish
richness, the brilliant
green, the infinite
freshness, the spend-
thrift variety of form
and species and foli-
age that make an
Eastern landscape a
vision of Paradise it-
self. The idea of a
man falling into rap-
tures over grave and
sombre California,
when that man has
seen New England's meadow-expanses and her maples, oaks
and cathedral-windowed elms decked in summer attire, or the
opaline splendors of autumn descending upon her forests, comes
very near being funny — would be, in fact, but that it is so
pathetic. No land with an mivarying climate can be very
beautiful. The tropics are not, for all the sentiment that is
wasted on them. They seem beautiful at first, but sameness
impairs the charm by and by. Chcmge is the handmaiden
Nature requires to do her miracles with. The land that has
four well-defined seasons, cannot lack "beauty, or pall with
monotony. Each season brings a world of enjoyment and
interest in 'the watching of its unfolding, its gradual, harmo-
nious development, its culminating graces— and just as one
begins to tire of it, it passes away and a radical change comes,
with new witcheries and new glories in its train. And I think"
AM EASTERN LANDSCAPE.
410
CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO.
that to one in sympathy with nature, each season, in its turn,
seems the loveliest.
San Francisco, a truly fascinating city to lire in, is
,. -^^.Ov^y^S?-.
A. YABUBLE CLIMATE.
stately and handsome at a fair distance, but close at hand
one notes that the architecture is mostly old-fashioned, many
streets are made up of decaying, smoke-grimed, wooden
houses, and the barren sand-hills toward the outskirts obtrude
themselves too prominently. Even the kindly climate is some-
times pleasanter when read about than personally experienced,
for a lovely, cloudless sky wears out its welcome by and by,
and then when the longed for rain does come it stays. Even
the playful earthquake is better contemplated at a dis —
However there are varying opinions about that.
The climate of San Francisco is mild and singularly
equable. The thermometer stands at about seventy degrees
the year round. It hardly changes at all. You sleep under
one or two light blankets Summer and Winter, and never use
a mosquito bar. Nobody ever wears Summer clothing. You
wear black broadcloth — if you have it — in August and Janu-
ary, just the same. It is no colder, and no warmer, in the one
month than the other. You do not use overcoats and you do
not use fans. It is as pleasant a climate as could well be con-
trived, take it all around, and is doubtless the most unvarying
in the whole world. The wind blows there a good deal in the
ITS CLIMATE AND SEASONS. 411
Summer months, but then you can go over to Oakland, if you
choose — three or four miles away — it does not blow there.
It has only snowed twice in San Francisco in nineteen years,
and then it only remained on the ground long enough to
astonish the children, and set them to wondering what the
feathery stuff was.
During eight months of the year, straight along, the skies
are bright and cloudless, and never a drop of rain falls. But
when the other four months come along, you will need to go
and steal an umbrella. Because you will require it. Not just
one day, but one hundred and twenty days in hardly varying
succession. When you want to go visiting, or attend church,
or the theatre, you never look up at the clouds to see whether
it is likely to rain or not — ^you look at the almanac. If it is
Winter, it will rain — and if it is Summer, it wonH rain, and
you cannot help it. You never need a lightning-rod, because
it never thunders and it never lightens. And after you have
listened for six or eight weeks, every night, to the dismal
monotony of those quiet rains, you will wish in your heart the
thunder would leap and crash and roar along those drowsy
skies once, and make everything alive — you will wish the
prisoned lightnings would cleave the dull firmament asunder
and light it with a blinding glare for OTie little instant. You
would give anything to hear the old familiar thunder again
and see the lightning strike somebody. And along in the
Summer, when you have suffered about four months of
lustrous, pitiless sunshine, you are ready to go down on your
knees and plead for rain — hail — snow — thunder and lightning
— anything to break the monotony — you will take an earth-
quake, if you cannot do any better. And the chances are
that you'll get it, too.
San Francisco is built on sand hills, but they are prolific
sand hills. They yield a generous vegetation. All the rare
flowers which people in " the States " rear with such patient
care in parlor flower-pots and green-houses, flourish luxu-
riantly in the open air there all the year round. Calla lilies, all
sorts of geraniums, passion flowers, moss roses — I do not know
the names of a tenth part of them. I only know that while
412 THE HOTTEST PLACE ON EARTH.
New Yorkers are burdened with banks and drifts of snow,
Californians are burdened with banks and drifts of flowers, if
they only keep their hands off and let them grow. And I
have heard that they have also that rarest and most curious of
all the flpwers, the beautiful Espvritnjb Scmto, as the Spaniards
call jt — or flower of the Holy Spirit — though I thought it
grew only in Central America — down on the Isthmus. In its
cup is the daintiest little fac-simile of a dove, as pure as snow.
.The Spaniards have a superstitious reverence for it. The
blossom has been conveyed to the States, submerged in ether ;
and the bulb has been taken thither also, but every attempt to
make it bloom after it arrived, has failed.
I have elsewhere spoken of the endless "Winter of Mono,
Califopnia, and but this moment of the eternal Spring of San
Francisco. Now if we travel a hundred miles in a straight
line, we come to the eternal Summer of Sacramento. One
never sees Summer-clothing or mosquitoes in San Francisco —
but they can be found in Sacramento. Not always and
jmvaryingly, but about one hundred and forty-three months
out of twelve years, perhaps. Flowers bloom there, always,
the reader can easily believe — people suffer and sweat, and
swear, morning, noon and night, and wear out their stanchest
energies fanning themselves. It gets hot there, but if you go
down to Fort Yuma you will find it hotter. Fort Xuma is
probably the hottest place on earth. The thermometer stays at
one hundred and twenty in the shade there aU the time — except
when it varies and goes higher. It is a U. S. military post,
and its occupants get so used to the terrific heat that they
suffer without it. There»is a tradition (attributed to John
Phenix*) that a very, very wicked soldier died there, once, and
of course, went straight to the hottest corner of perdition, — and
the next day he telegraphed hack for his Mankets. There is
no doubt about the truth of this statement— r-th ere can be no
doubt about it. I have seen the place where that soldier used
to board. In Sacramento it is fiery Summer always, and you
can gather roses, and eat strawberries and ice-cream, and wear
* It has been purloined by fifty different scribblers who were too poor to
invent a fancy but not ashamed to steal one. — M. T.
A PICTURE OF SUMMER AND WINTER.
413
white linen clothes, and pant and perspire, at eight or nine
o'clock in the morning, and then take the cars, and at noon
put on your furs and your skates, and go skimming over frozen
SiCBAMKNTO.
THREE HOUKS AWAT.
Donner Lake, seven thousand feet above the valley, among
snow banks fifteen feet deep, and in the shadow of grand
mountain peaks that lift their frosty crags ten thousand feet
above the level of the sea. There is a transition for yon .'
"Where will you find another like it in the "Western hemis-
phere? And some of us have swept around snow-waUed.
curves ,of the Pacific Kailroad in that vicinity, six thousand
feet above the sea, and looked down as the birds do, upon the
deathless Summer of the Sacramento Yalley, with its fruitful
fields, its feathery foliage, its silver streams, all slumbering in
the mellow haze of its enchanted atmosphere, and all infinitely
softened and spiritualized by distance — a dreamy, exquisite
glimpse of -fairyland, made all the more charming and striking
that it was caught through a forbidden gateway of ice and
snow, and savage crags and precipices. »
CHAPTEE LYII.
IT was in this Sacramento Valley, just referred to, that a deal
of the most lucrative of the early gold mining was done,
and you may still see, in places, its grassy slopes and levels
torn and guttered and disfigured by the avaricious spoilers of
fifteen and twenty years ago. You may see such disfigure-
ments far and wide over California — and in some such places,
where only meadows and forests are visible — not a living
creature, not a house, no stick or stone or remnant of a ruin,
and not a sound, not even a whisper to disturb the Sabbath
stillness — you will find it hard to believe that there stood at
one time a fiercely-flourishing little city, of two thousand or
three thousand souls, with its newspaper, fire company, brass
band, volunteer militia, bank, hotels, noisy Fourth of July
processions and speeches, gambling hells crammed with to-
bacco smoke, profanity, and rough-bearded men of all nations
and colors, with tables heaped with gold dust sufficient for the
revenues of a German principality — streets crowded and rife
with business — town lots worth four hundred dollars a front
foot — ^labor, laughter, music, dancing, swearing, fighting, shoot-
ings, stabbing — a bloody inquest and a man for breakfast every
morning — everything that delights and adorns existence — all
the appointments and appurtenances of a thriving and pros-
perous and promising young city, — and now nothing is left of
it all but a lifeless, homeless solitude. The men are gone,
the houses have vanished, even the name of the place is for-
gotten. In no other land, in modern times, have towns so
CALIFORNIA— CHARACTEK OF POPULATION. 415
absolutely died and disappeared, as in the old mining regions
of California.
It was a driving, vigorous, restless population in those days.
It was a curious population. It was the only population of the
kind that the world has ever seen gathered together, and it is
not likely that the world will ever see its like again. For,
observe, it was an aseemblage of two hundred thousand young
men — not simpering, dainty, kid-gloved weaklings, but stal-
wart, muscular, dauntless young braves, brimful of push and
energy, and royally endowed with every attribute that goes to
make up a peerless and magnificent manhood — the very pick
and choice of the world's glorious ones. No women, no
children, no gray and stooping veterans, — none but erect,
bright-eyed, quick-moving, strong-handed young giants — the
strangest population, the finest population, ^the most gallant
host that ever trooped down the startled solitudes of an
unpeopled land. And where are they now? Scattered to
the ends of the earth — or prematurely aged and decrepit — or
shot or stabbed in street afirays — or dead of disappointed
hopes and broken hearts — all gone, or nearly all — victims
devoted upon the altar of the golden calf — the noblest holo-
caust that ever wafted its sacrificial incense heavenward. It
is pitiful to think upon.
It was a splendid population — for all the slow, sleepy, slug-
gish-brained sloths staid at home — you never find that sort of
people among pioneers — you cannot build pioneers out of
that sort of material. It was that population that gave to
California a name for getting up astounding enterprises and
rushing them through with a magnificent dash and daring and
,a recklessness of cost or consequences, which she bears unto
this day — ^and when she projects a new surprise, the grave world
s&iles as usual, and says " Welli, that is California all over."
But they were rough in those times ! They fairly reveled
in gold, whisky, fights, and fandangoes, and were unspeak-
ably happy. The honest miner raked from a hundred to
a thousand dollars out of his claim a day, and what with
the gambling dens and the other entertainments, he hadn't a
416
A WOMAN! A WOMAN!
cent tlie next morning, if he had any sort of luck. They
cooked their own bacon and heans, sewed on their own
buttons, washed their own shirts — ^blue woollen ones ; and if
a man wanted a fight on his hands without any annoying
delay, all he had to do was to appear in public in a white
shirt or a stove-pipe hat, and he would be accommodated. For
those people hated aristocrats. They had a particular and
malignant animosity toward what they called a " biled shift."
It was a wild, free, disorderly, grotesque society ! Men —
only swarming hosts of stalwart men — ^nothing juvenile, noth-
ing feminine, visible anywhere !
In those (lays miners would flock in crowds to catch a
glimpse of that rare and blessed spectacle, a woman ! Old
'FETCH HER OUT.
inhabitants' tell how, in a certain camp, the news went abroad
early in the morning that a woman was come ! They had
seen a calico dress hanging put of a wagon down at the
camping-ground — sign of emigrants from over the great plains.
Everybody went down there^ and a shout went up when an
A DELIGHTED MINEK.
417
actual, bona fide dress was discovered fluttering in the wind I
The male emigrant was visible. The miners said :
" Fetch her out ! "
He said : " It is my wife, gentlemen — she is sick — we have
been robbed of money, provisions, everything, by the Indiana
— :we want to rest."
" Fetch her out ! "We've got to see her ! "
" But, gentlemen, the poor thing, she — "
" Fetch hek out ! "
He " fetched her out," and they swung their hats and sent up
three rousing cheers and a tiger ; and they crowded around and
gazed at her, and touched her dress, and listened to her voice
with the look of men who listened to a memory rather than a
present reality — and then they collected twenty-five hundred
dollars in gold and gave it to the man, and swung their hats
again and gave three more cheers, and went home satisfied.
Once I dined in San Francisco with the family of a
pioneer, and talked with his daughter, a young lady whose
first experi-
ence in San
Francisco was
an adventure,
though she
herself did not
remember it,
as she was
only two or
three years old
at the time.
Her father,
said that, after
landitig from
the ship, they
were waffiiing
up the street,
a servant lead- " ^'=^'" ^ " ^"'"' ^ *'='^" ' "
ing the party with the little girl in her arms. And presently
27t
418
WAITING FOR A TURN.
a huge miner, bearded, belted, spurred, and bristling with
deadly weapons — just down from a long campaign in the
mountains, evidently — barred the way, stopped the servant,
and stood gazing, with a face all alive with gratification and
astonishment. Then he said, reverently :
" Well, if it ain't a child ! " And then he snatched a little
leather sack out of his pocket and said to the servant :
" There's a hundred and fifty dollars in dust, there, and
I'll give it to you to let me kiss the child ! "
That anecdote is true.
But see how things change. Sitting at that dinner-table,
. listening to that anecdote, if I had otfered double the money
for the privilege of kissing the same child, I would have been
refused. Seventeen added years have far more than doubled
the price.
And while upon this subject I will remark that once in
Star City, in the Humboldt Mountains, I took my place in
a sort of longj post-office single file of miners, to patiently
await my chance to peep through a crack in the cabin and get
a sight of the splendid new sensation — a genuine, live Woman !
.And at the end of half of an hour my turn came, and I put*
my eye to the crack, and there she was, with one arm akimbo,
and tossing flap-jacks in a frying-pan with the other. And
she was one hundred and sixty-five* years old, and hadn't a
tooth in her head.
* Being in calmer mood, now, I voluntarily knock off a hundred from
that.— M. T.
CHAPTER LYin.
FOE a few months I enjoyed what to me was an entirely
new phase of existence — a butterfly idleness ; nothing to
do, nobody to be res^ponsible to, and untronbled with financial
uneasiness. I fell in love with the most cordial and sociable
city in the Union. After the sage-brush and alkali deserts of
Washoe, San Francisco was Paradise to me. I lived at the
best hotel^ exhibited my clothes in the most conspicuous places,
infested the opera, ;and learned to seem enraptured with music
which oftener afflioted my ignorant ear tha,n enchanted it, if I
had had the vulgar honesty to confess it. However, I suppose
I was not greatly worse than the most of my countrymen in that.
I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended
private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired
my graces like a„teom beau, and polked and schottisched with
a step peculiar to myself— and the kangaroo. In a word, I kept
the due state of a man worth a hufidred thousand dollars (pros-
pectively,) and likely to reach absolute afliluence when that silver-
mine sale should be ultimately achieved in the East. I spent
money with a free hand, and meantime watched the stock sales
with an 'interested eye and looked to see what might happen in
Nevada.*!^,.,.
Something very important happened. The property hold-
ers of Nevada vote^i against the State Constitution ; but the
folks who had nothing to lose were in the majority, and carried
the measure over their heads. But after all it did not imme-
diately look like a disaster, though unquestionably it was one.
420
A GENERAL BREAKDOWN.
I hesitated, calculated the chances, and then concluded not to
sell. Stocks went on rising; speculation went inad ; bankers,
merchants, lawyers, doctors, mechanics, laborers, even the
very washerwomen
and servant girls,
were putting up
their earnings on
silver stocks, and
every sun that rose
in the morning
went down on pau-
pers enriched and
rich men beggared.
What a gambling
carnival it was!
Gould and Curry
soared to six thou-'
sand three hundred,
dollars a foot ! And
then — all of a sud-
den, out went the
bottom and everything and everybody went to rijin and destruc-
tion ! The wreck was complete. The bubble scarcely left a
microscopicmoisturebehind.it. I was an "early ^beggar and a,
thorough one. My hoarded.' stocks were not wortB the paper
they were printed on. I threw them all away. I, the cheer-
fiil idiot that had been squandering money like water, and
thought myself* beyond the reach of misfortune, had not now
as much as fifty dollars when I gathered together my various
debts and paid them. I removed from the hotel to a very pri-
vate boarding house. I took a reporter's berth and went to
work. I was not entirely broken in spirit, for I was building
confidently-; on the sale of the silver mine in the east. But I
could not hear from' Dan. My letters m&carried or were not
anstrered,, ^
One day I did not feel vigorous and remained away from the
office. The next day I went down toward noon as usual, and
THE GKAOE OP A KANGAKOO.
MY FIRST EARTHQUAKE.
421
jfound a note on my desk which had been there twenty-foui-
hours. It was signed " Marshall " — the Virginia reporter—
and contained a request that I should call at the hotel and see
him and a friend or two that night, as they would sail for the
east in the morning. A postscript added that their errand was
a big mining speculation ! I was hardly ever so sick in my
life. I abused myself for leaving Virginia and entrusting to
another man a matter I ought to have attended to myself ; I
abused myself for remaining away from the office on the one
day of all the year that 1 should have been there. And thus
berating myself I trotted a mile to the steamer wharf and
arrived just in time to be too late. The ship was in the stream
and under way.
I comforted myself with the thought that may be the specu-
lation Vould amount to nothings —
I poor comfojt at best — and then went
back to my slavery, resolved' to put
up with my thirty-live dollars a week
and forget all about it.
f A month afterward I enjoyed my
first earthquake. It was one which
was long called the " great " earth-
quake, and is doubtless so distinguish-
ed till this day. It was j ust after noon,
on Sk bright October day. I was com-
ing dpwn Third street. The only
objects in motion anywhere in sight
in that thickly built and populous
qj;iarter, were a tnan in a buggy behind
me, and a street car wending slowly
up the cross street. Otherwise, all
was solitude and a Sabbath stillness. As I turned the corner,
around a frame house, there was a great rattle and jar, and it
occurred to me that here was an item! — no doubt a light in
that house. Before I could turn and seek the door, there came
a really terrific shock; the ground seemed to roll under me in
waves, interrupted by a violent joggling up and down, and
DREAH3 DISSIPik.TBD.
422
EFFECTS OF THE SHOCK.
there was a heavy grinding noise as of brick houses rubbing
together. I fell up against the frame house and hurt my elbow.
I knew what it was, now, and from mere reportorial instinct,
nothing else, took out my watch and noted the time of day ;
at that moment a third and still severer shock came, and as I
reeled about on the pavement trying to keep my footing, I saw
a sight ! The entire front of a tall four-story brick building
in Third street sprung outward like a door and fell sprawhng
across the street, raising a dust like a great volume of smoke !
And here came the buggy — overboard went the man, and in
THE "ONE-HORSE SHAT " OUT-DONk.
less time than I can^tell it the vehicle was distributed in small
fragments along; three hundred yards of street. One could
have fancied that somebody had fired a charge of chair-rounds
aijd rags down the thoroughfare. The street car had stopped,
the horses were rearing and plunging, the passengers were
pouring out at both ends, and one fat man had crashed half
way through a glass window on one side of the car, got wedged
fast and was squirming and screaming like an impaled madmaii.
INCIDENTS AND CURIOSITIES.
423
Every door, of every house, as far as the eye eonld reach, was
vpmiting a stream of human beings ; and ahnost before one
could execute a wink and
begin another, there was
a massed multitude of
people stretching in end-
less procession down ev-
ery street my position
commanded. Never was
solemn solitude turned
into teeming life quicker.
Of the wonders
wrought by " the great
earthquake," these were
all that came under my
eye ; but the, tricks it did,
elsewhere, and far and
wide over the town, made
toothsome gossip for nine days.
HAKD ON THE INKOCENTS.
The destruction of prop-
erty was 'trifting — the injury
to it was wide-spi-ead and
somewhat serious.
The " curiosities " of the
earthquake were simply end-
less. Gentlemen and ladies
who were sick, or were tak-
[.rS" ing a siesta, or had dissipa-
ted till a late hour and were
making up lost sleep, throng-
ed into the public streets in
all sorts of queer apparel, and
some without any at all. One
woman who had been wash*
ing a naked child, ran down
the street holding it by the
ankles as if it were a dressed turkey. Prominent citizens who
were supposed to keep the Sabbath strictly, rushed out of saloons
DBY BONES SHAKEN.
454
GOOD ADVICE BY A CHAMBERMAID.
in their shirt-sleeves, with billiard cues in their hands. Doz-
ens of men with necks swathed in napkins, rushed from
barber-shops, lathered to the eyes or with one cheek clean
shaved and the other still bearing a hairy stubble. Horses broke
iVom stables, and a frightened dog rushed up a short attic ladder
and out on to a roof, and when his scare was over had not the
nerve to go down again the same way he had gone up. A
OH, WHAT SHALL I DOS"
prominent editor fle^ down stairs, in the principal hotel, with
nothing on but one brief undergarment — met a chambermaid,
and exclaimed :
" Oh, what sJudl I do ! Where shall I go !"
She responded with naive serenity :
" If you have no choice, you might try a ciothing-stoi% !"
A certain foreign consul's lady was the acknowledged leader
of fashion, and every time she appeared in anything new or
extraordinary, the ladies in the vicinity made a raid on theit
husbands' purses and arhiyed themselves similarly. One maa
A SENSIBLE FASHION.
425
■who had suffered considerably and growled accordingly, was
standing at the window when the shocks came, and the next,
instant the consul's wife, just out of the bath, fled by with no
o<''.er apology for clothing than — a bath-towel! The sufferer
rose superior' to the terrors of the earthquake, and said to his
wife :
-'(ft
"Now that is something Uke\ Get out your towel my
dear!"
The plastering that fell from ceilings in San Francisco that
day, would have covered
several acres of ground. For "-• *^
some days afterward, groups
of eyeing and pointing men
stood about many a building,
looking at long zig-zag
cracks that extended from
the eaves to the ground.
Four feet of the tops of three
chimneys on one house were
broken square off and turned
around in such a way as to
completely stop the draft.
A crack a hundred feet long
gaped open six inches wide
in the middle of one street
and then shut togetheragain
with such force, as to ridge up the laaeeting earth like a slender
grave. A lady sitting in her rocking and quaking parlor, saw
the wall part at the ceiling, open and shut twice, like a mouth,
and then-drop the end of a brick on the floor like a tooth. She
was a woman easily disgusted with foolishness, and she arose and
went out of there. One lady who was coming down stairs
was astonished to see a bronze Hercules lean forward on its
pedestal as if to strike her with its club. They both reached
ihe. bottom of the flight at the same time, — the woman insen-
sible from the fright. Her child, bom some little time after-
ward, was club-footed. However— on second thought, — ^if the
"get OCT rOCR TOWEL, MT DEAR."
426
EFFECT ON THE MINISTERS.
reader sees any coincidence in this, he must do it at his own
risk. ;,,
The first shock brought down two or three huge organ-pipes
in one of the churches. The minister, with uplifted han:'s,
was just closing the services. He glanced up, hesitated, and
said:
" However, we will omit the benediction !" — and the next
instant there was a vacancy in the atmosphere where he had
stood. ^
After the first shock, an Oakland minister said :
"Keep your seats!
There is no better place
to die than this " —
And added, after the
tliird :
"But outside is good
enough !" He tlien skip-
ped out at the back door.
Such another destruc-
tion of mantel ornaments
and toilet bottles as the
(- irthquake created, San
iVahcisco never saw be-
iure. There was hardly
a girl or a matron in the
city but suffered losses of
this kind. Suspended pictures were thrown down, but oftener
still, by a curious freak of the earthquake's humor, they were
whirled completely around with their faces to the wall ! There
was great difference of opinion, at first, as to the course or
direction the earthquake traveled, but water that splashed out
of various tanks and buckets settled that. Thousands of people
were made so sea-sick by the rolling and pitching of floors and
streets that they were weak and bed-ridden for hours, and some
few for even days afterward. — 'Hardly an individual escaped
naugoa entirely.
The queer earthquake-^-episodes that formed the staple of
"WB WILL OMIT THE BENEDICTION.
ANOTHER MILLION LOST. 427
San Francisco gossip for the next week would fill a much
larger book than this, and so I will diverge from the subject.
By and by, in the due course of things, I picked up a copy
of the EnUrjgrise one day, and fell under this cruel blow :
Nevada Mines in New York.— G. M. Marshall, Sheba Hurs and Amos H.
Kose, who left San Francisco last July for New York City, with ores from min,e8
in Pine Wood District, Humboldt County, and on the Eeese River range, have
disposcjl of a mine containing six thousand feet and called the Pine Mountains
Consolidated, for the sura of $3,000,000. The stamps on the deed, which is now
on its way to Humboldt County, from New York, for record, amounted to ?3,000,
which is said to be the largest amount of stamps ever placed on one document. A
working capital of 11,000,000 has been paid into the treasury, and machinery has
already been purchased for a large quartz mill, which will be put up as soon as
possible. The stock in this company is all full paid and entirely unassessable.
The ores of the mines in this district somewhat resemble those of the Sheba mine
in Humboldt. Sheba Hurst, tLe discoverer of the mines, with his fiiends cor-
ralled all the best leads and all the land and timber thay desired before making
public their whereabouts. Ores from there, assayed in this city, showc d tliem to
be exceedingly rich in silver and gold— silver predominating. There is an abund-
ance of wood and water in the District. We are glad to know that New York
capital has been enlisted in the development of the mines of this region. Having
seen the ores and assays, we are satisfied that the mines of the District are very
valuable — anything but wild-cat.
Once more native imbecility had carried the day, and I had
lost a million ! It was the " blind lead " over again.
Let us not dwell on this miserable matter. If I were invent-
ing these things, I could be wonderfully humorous over them ;
but they are too true to be talked of with hearty levity, even
at this distant day.* Suffice it that I so lost heart, and so
yielded myself up to repinings and sigbings and foolish regrets,
that I neglected my duties and became about worthless, as a
reporter for a brisk newspaper. And at last one of the propri-
etors took me aside, with i, charity I still remember with con-
siderable respect, an^ gave me an opportunity to resign my
berth and so save myself the disgrace of a dismissal.
*True, and yet not exactly as given in the above figures, possibly. J saw Mar-
shall, months afterward, and although he had plenty of money he did not claim
to have captured an entire miUvm. In fact I gathered that he had not then re-
ceived $50,000. Beyond that figure his fortune appeared to consist of uncertain
vast expectations rather than prodigious certainties. However, when the above
Item appeared in print I put full faith in it, and incontinently wilted and went
to seed under it.
CHAPTER LIX.
FOE a time I wrote literary screeds for the Golden Era.
C. H. Webb had established i very excellent literary
weekly called the Califmmian, but high merit was no guaranty
of success; it languished, and he sold out to three printere, and
Bret Ilarte became editor at $20 a week, and I was employed
to contribute an article a week at $12. But the journal still
languished, and the printers sold out to Captain Ogden, a rich
man and a pleasant gentleman who choose to amuse himself
with such an expensive luxury without much caring about the
cost of it. When he grew tired of the novelty, he re-sold to
the printers, the paper presently died a peaceful deatli, and I was
out of work again. I would not mention these things but for
the fact that they so aptly illustrate the ups and downs that
characterize life on the Pacific coast A man could hardly stum-
ble into such a variety of queer vicissitudes in any other
country.
For two months my sole occupation was avoiding acquaint-
ances ; for during that time I did not earn a penny, or buy an
article of any kind, or pay my board. I became a very adept
at " slinking." I slunk from back street to back street, I slunk
away from approaching faces that looked familiar, I slunk to my
meals, ate them humbly and with a mute apology for every
mouthful I robbed my generous landlady of, and at midnight^
after wanderings that were but slinkings away from cheerful-
ness and light, I slunk to my bed. I felt meaner, and lowlier
and more despicable than the worms. During all this time I
A HEALTHY OCCUPATION.
429
had but one piece of money — a silver ten cent piece — and I l\eld
to it and would not spend it on any account, lest the conscious-
ness coining strong upon me tliat I was entirely penniless,
might suggest suicide. I had pawned every thing hut the
clothes I had on ; so I clung to
my dime desperately, till it was
smooth with handling.
However, I am forgetting.
I did have one otlier occupation
beside that of " slinking." It
was the entertaining of a col-
lector (and being entertained
by him,) who had in his hands
the Virginia banker's bill for
the forty-six dollars which I
had loaned my schoolmate, the
"Prodigal." This man used to
call regularly once a week and
dun me, and sometimes oftener.
He did it from sheer force of
habit, for he knew he could get
nothing. He would get out slinking.
his bill, calculate the interest for me, at five per cent a month,
and show me clearly that there was no attempt at fraiid in it
and no mistakes ; and then plead, and argue and dun with all
his might for any sum — any little trifle — even a dollar — even
half a dollar, on account. Then his duty was accomplished
and his conscience free. He immediately dropped the subject
there always ; got out a couple of cigars and divided, put his
feet in th* window, and then we would have a long, luxurious talk
about everything and everybody, and he would furnish me a
world of curious dunning adventures out of the ample store in
his rtiemory. By and by he would clap his hat on his head,
shake hands and say briskly :
""Well, business is business — can't staywith you always!" —
and was off in a second.
The idea of pining for a dun I And yet I used to long for
430 A FRIEND IN MISERY.
him to come, and would get as uneasy as any mother if the day
went by without his visit, when I was expecting him. But he
never collected that bill, at last nor any part of it. I lived to
pay it to the banker myself.
Misery loves company. Now and then at night, in out-of-the
way, dimly lighted places, I found myself happening on another
child of misfortune. He looked so seedy and forlorn, so home-
less and friendless and forsaken, that I yearned toward him as
a brother. I wanted to claim kinship with him and go about
and enjoy our wretchedness together. The drawing toward
each other must have been mutual ; at any rate we got to fall-
ing together oftener, though still seemingly by accident ; and
although we did not speak or evince any recognition, I think
the dull anxiety passed out of both of us when we saw each
other, and then for several hours we would idle along content-
edly, wide apart, and glancing furtively in at home lights and
fireside gatherings, out of the night shadows, and very much
enjoying our dumb companionship.
Finally we spoke, and were inseparable after that. For our
woes were identical, almost. He had been a reporter too, and
lost his berth, and this was his experience, as nearly as I can
recollect it. After losing his berth, heliad gone down, down,
down, with never a halt : from a boarding house on Russian
Hill to a boarding house in Kearney street; from thence to
Dupont; from thence to a low sailor den ; and from thence to lodg-
ings in goods boxes and empty hogsheads near the wharves.
Then, for a while, he had gained a meagre living by sewing up
bursted sacks of grain on the piers ; when that failed he had
found food here and' there as chance threw it in his way. He
had ceased to show his face in daylight, now, for a reporter
knows everybody, ricli and poor, high and low, and cannot well
avoid familiar faces in the broad light of day.
This mendicant Blucher — I call him that for convenience —
was a splendid creature. He was full of hope, pluck and phi-
losophy ; he was well read and a man of cultivated taste ; he
had a briglit wit and was a master of satire ; his kindliness and
his generous spirit made him royal in my eyes and changed his
curb-stone seat to a throne and his damaged hat to a crown.
A STREAK OF LUCK.
431
.He had an adventure, once, wliich. sticks fast in my memory
as the most pleasantly grotesque that ever touched ray sympa-
thies. He had been without a penny for two months. He
had shirked about obscure streets, among friendly dim lights,
till the thing had become second nature to him. But at last
he was driven abroad in daylight. The cause was sufBcient ;
he had not tasted food for forty-eight hours, and he could not
endure the misery of his hunger in idle biding. He came along
a back street, glowering at the loaves in bake-shop windows, and
feeling that hie could trade his life away for a morsel to eat.
The sight ol the bread doubled his hunger ; but it was good
to look at it, any how, and imagine what one might do if
one only had it. Presently, in the middle of the street he
saw a shining spot — looked
again — did not, and could not,
believe his eyes — turned away,
to try them, then looked again.
It was a verity — -no vain, hun-
ger-inspired delusion — it was a
silver dime ! He snatched it-
gloated over it ; doubted it — ^bit
it — ^found it genuine — choked
his heart down, and smothered
a halleluiah. Then he looked
around — saw that nobody was
looking at him — threw the dime
down where it was before —
walked away a few steps, and
approached again, pretending he
did not know it was there, so that ^ pkizb.
he could re-enjoy the luxury of finding it. He walked around, it,
viewing it from different points ; then sauntered about with his
hands in his pockets, looking up at the signs and now and then
glancing at it and feeling the old thrill again. Finally he took
it up, and went away, fondling it in his pocket. He idled
through unfrequented streets, stopping in doorways and corners
to'take it out and look at it. By and by he went home to his
'-^=~^
432
AN IMAGINARY FEAST.
lodgings — an empty queensware hogshead,— and employed him-
self till night trying to make up his mind what to buy with it.
But it was hard to do. To get the most for it was the idea.
He knew that at the Miner's Restaurant he could get a plate
of beans and a piece of bread for ten cents ; or a fish-ball and
some few trifles, but they gave "no bread with onefish-ball" there.
At French Pete's he could get a veal cutlet, plain, and some
radishes and bread, for ten cents ; or a cup of coffee — a pint at
least — and a slice of bread ; but tlie slice was not thick enough
by the eighth of an inch, and sometimes they were still more
criminal than that in the cutting of it. At seven o'clock his
hunger was wolfish ; and still his mind was hot made up. He
tui-ned out and went up Merchant street, still ciphering ; and
chewing a bit of stick, as is the way of starving men. He
passed before the lights of Martin's restaurant, the most aristo-
cratic in the city, and stopped.
It was a place where he had of-
ten dined, in better days, and
Martin knew him well. Stand-
ing aside, just out of the range
of the light, he worshiped the
quails and steaks in the show
window-, and imagined that
may be the fairy times were not
gone yet and some prince in
disguise would come along pres-
ently and teU him to go in there
and take whatever he wanted.
He chewed his stick with a hun-
gry interest as he warmed to
his subject. Just at this junc-
ture he was conscious of some
A LOOK IN AT THE WINDOW. ouc at his sidc, sure enough ;
and then a finger touched his arm. He looked up, over his
shoulder, and saw an apparition — a very allegory of Hunger !
It was a man six feet high, gaunt, unshaven, hung with rags ;
with a haggard face and sunken cheeks, and eyes that pleaded
piteously. This phantom said :
WEALTHY BT COMPARISON.
433
'■' " Come with me — ^please."
He locked his arm in Blucher's and walked up the street to
where the passengers were few and the light not strong, and
then facing ahout, put out his hands in a beseeching M'ay, and
said:
" Friend — stranger — look at me ! Life is easy to you — you go
about, placid and content, as I did once, in my daj' — you have
been in there, and eaten your sumptuous supper, and picked
your teeth, and hummed your tune, and thought your pleasant
so II STBANaEB.
t
thoughts, and said to yourself it is agood world-but you've never
suffered ! Tou don't know what trouble is— you don't know
what misery is— nor hunger ! Look at me ! Stranger have
pity on a poor friendless, homeless dog ! As God is my judge,
28t
434 TWO SUMPTUOUS DINNEES.
I have not tasted food for eight and forty hours ! — look in my
eyes and see if I lie ! Give me the least trifle in the world to
keep me from starving — anything — twenty -five cents ! Do it,
stranger — do it, please. It will be nothing to you, but life to
me. Do it, and I will go down on my knees and lick the dust
before you ! I will kiss your footprints — I will worship the
very ground you walk on ! Only twenty-five cents ! I am
famishing^Derishing — starving by inches ! For God's sake
don't desert me ! "
Blucher was bewildered — and touched, too — stirred to the
depths. He reflected. Thought again. Then an idea struck
him, and he said :
" Come with me."
He took the outcast's arm, walked him down to Martin's
restaurant, seated him at a marble table, placed the bill of fare
before him, and said :
" Order what you want, friend. Charge it to me, Mr. Mar-
tin."
" All right, Mr. Blucher," said Martin.
Then Blucher stepped back and leaned against the coimter
and watched the man stow away cargo after cargo of buckwheat
cakes at seventy-five cents a plate ; cup after cup of coffee, and
porter house steakg worth two dollars apiece ; and when six
dollars and a half s worth of destruction had been accomplished,
and the stranger's hunger appeased, Blucher went down to
French Pete's, bought a veal cutlet plain, a slice of bread, and
three radishes, with his dime, and set to and feasted like a
king !
Take the episode all around, it was as odd as any that can
be culled from the myriad curiosities of Californian life,
perhaps.
CHAPTER LX.
BY and by, an old friend of mine, a miner, came down from
one of tlie decayed mining camps of Tuolumne, Califor-
nia, and I went back with him. We lived in a small cabin on
a Yerdant hillside, and there were not five other cabins in view
over the wide expanse of hill and forest. Yet a flourishing
city of two or three thousand population had occupied this
grassy dead solitude during the flush times of twelve or fifteen
years before, and where our cabin stood had once been the
hpart of the teeming hive, the centre of the city. When the
. mines gave out the town fell into decay, and in a few years
wholly disappeared — streets, dwellings, shops, everything — and
left no sign. The grassy slopes were as green and smooth and
desolate of life as if they had never been disturbed. The mere
ixandful of miners still remaining, had seen the town spring up,
spread, grow and flourish in its pride ; and they had seen it
sicken and die, and pass away like a dream. With it their
hopes had died, and their zest of life. They had long ago
resigned themselves to their exile, and ceased to correspond
with their distant friends or turn longing eyes toward their
early homes. They had accepted banishment, forgotten the
world and been forgotten of the world. They were far from
telegraphs and railroads, and they stood, as it were, in a living
grave, dead to the events that stirred the globe's great popula-
tions, dead to the common interests of men, isolated and out-
cast from brotherhood with their kind. It was the most singu-
lar, and almost the most touching and melancholy exile that
fancy can imagine. — One of my associates in this locality, for
436
AN EDUCATED MINEE.
two or three months, was a man who had had a university edu-
cation ; hut now for eighteen years he had decayed there by
inches, a bearded, rough-clad, clay-stained miner, and at times,
among his sighings and solilo-
quizings, he uncojisciously in-
terjected vaguely remembered
Latin and Greek sentences —
dead and musty tongues, meet
vehicles for the thoughts of one
whose dreams were all of the
past, whose life was a failure ;
a tired man, burdened with the
present, and indifferent to the
future; a man without ties,
hopes, interests, waiting for
Test and the end.
In that one little comer of
California is found a species of
mining which is seldom or nev-
er mentioned in print. It is
THE OLD COLLEGIATE. callcd " pocket mining" and I
am not aware that any of it is done outside of that little corner.
The gold is not evenly distributed, through the surface dirt, as
in ordinary placer mines, but is collected in little spots, and
they are very wide apart and exceedingly hard to find, but when
you do find' one you reap a rich and sudden harvest. There
are not now more than twenty pocket miners in that entire ht-
tle region. I think I know every one of them personally. I
have known one of them to hunt patiently about the hill-sides
every day for eight months without finding gold enough to
make a snuff-box — ^his grocery bill running up relentlessly all
the time — and then find a pocket and take out of it two
thousand dollars in two dips of l>is shovel. I have known him
to take out three thousand dollars in two hours, and go and
pay up every cent of his indebtedness, then enter on a dazzling
spree that finished the last of his treasure before the night was
gone. And the next day he bought his groceries on credit as
usual, and shouldered his pan and shovel and went off to the
POCKET MINING.
437
hills hunting pockets again happy and content. This is the
most fascinating of all the diflferent kinds of mining, and furnishes
a very handsome percentage of victims to the lunatic asylum.
Pocket hunting is an ingenious process. You take a spade-
ful of earth from the hill-side and put it in a large tin pan and
dissolve and wash it gradually away till nothing is left but a
teaspoonful of fine sediment. Whatever gold was in that earth
has remained, because, being the heaviest, it has sought the
bottom. Among the sediment you will find half a dozen yellow
particles no larger than pin-heads. You are delighted. You
move ofi' to one side and wash another pan. If you find gold
again, you move to one side further, and wash a third pan. If
you find no gold this time, you
are delighted again, because you
know you are on the right scent.
You lay an imaginary plan,
shaped like a fan, with its han-
dle up the hill— for just where
the end of the handle is, you
argue that the rich deposit lies
hidden, whose vagrant grains of
gold have escaped and been
washed down the hill, spread-
ing farther and ■ farther apart
as they wandered. And &o you
proceed up the hill, washing
the earth and narrowing your
lines every time the absence of
gold in t^e pan shows that you
are outside the spread of the fan ;
and at last, twenty yards up the hill your lines have converged
to a point — a single foot from that point you cannot find any
gold. Your breath comes short and quick, you are feverish
with excitement ; the dinner-bell may ring its clapper off, you
pay no attention ; friends may die, weddings transpire, houses
burn down, they are nothing to you ; you sweat and dig and
delve with a frantic interest — and all at once you strike it !
Up comes a spadeful of earth and quartz that is all lovely with
STRIKING A POCKET.
438 FKEAKS OF FOKTUNE.
soiled lumps and leaves and sprays of gold. Sometimes that
one spadeful 13 all — $500. Sometimes the nest contains $10,000,
and it takes you three or four days to get it all out. The pock-
et-miners tell of one nest that yielded $60,000 and two men
exhausted it in two weeks, and then sold the ground for $10,-
000 to a party who never got $300 out of it afterward.
The hogs are good pocket hunters. All the summer they
root around the bushes, and turn up a thousand little piles of
dirt, and then the miners long for the rains ; for the rains heat
upon these little piles and wash them down and expose the gold,
possibly right over a pocket. Two pockets were found in
this way by the same man in one day. One had $5,000 in it
and the other $8,000. That man could appreciate it, for he
hadn't had a cent for about a year.
In Tuolumne lived two miners who nsed to go to the
neighboring village in the afternoon and return every night
with household supplies. Part of the distance they traversed
a trail, and nearly always sat down to rest on a great boulder
that lay beside the path. In the course of thirteen years they
had worn that boulder tolerably smooth, sitting on it. By and
by two vagrant Mexicans came along and occupied the seat.
They began 1x) amuse themselves by chipping off flakes from
the boulder with a sledge-hammer. They examined one of
these flakes and found it rich with gold. That boulder paid
them $800 afterward. But the aggravating circumstance was
that these "Greasers" knew that there must be more gold
where that boulder came from, and so they went panning up
the hill and found what was probably the richest pocket that
region has yet produced. It took three months to exhaust it,
and it yielded $120,000. The two American miners who used
to sit on the boulder are poor yet, and they take turn about in
getting up early in the morning to curse those Mexicans — and
when it comes down to pure ornamental cursing, the native
American is gifted above the sons of men.
I have dwelt at some length upon this matter of pocket min-
ing because it is a subject that is seldom referred to in print,
and therefore I judged that it would have for the reader that
interest which naturally attaches to novelty.
CHAPTER LXI.
ONE of my comrades there — another of those victims of
eighteen years of unrequited toil and blighted hopes — was
one of the gentlest spirits that ever bore its patient cross in a
weary exile : grave and simple Dick Baker, pocket-miner of
Dead-Hotise Gulch. — He was forty-sis, gray as a rat, earnest,
thoughtful, slenderly educated, slouchily dressed and clay-soiled,
but his heart was finer metal than atiy gold his shovel ever
brought to light — than any, indeed, that ever was mined or
minted.
Whenever -he was out of luck and a little down-hearted, he
would fall to mourning over the loss of a wonderful cat he used
to own (for where women and children are not, men of kindly
impulses take up with pets, for they must love something).
And he always spoke of the strange sagacity of that cat with
the air of a man who believed in his secret heart that there was
something human about it — may be even supernatural.
I heard him talking about this animal once. He said :
" Gentlemen, I used to have a cat here, by the name of Tom
Quartz, which you'd a took an interest in I reckon — most any
body would. I had him here eight year — and he was the re-
markablest cat I ever see. He was a large gray one of the
Tom specie, an' he had more hard, natchral sense than any
man in this camp — 'n' & power of dignity — he wouldn't let the
Gov'ner of Oalifomy be familiar with him. He never ketched
a rat in his life — 'peared to be above it. He never cared for
nothing but mining. He knowed more about mining, that
440 THE MINER'S PET.
cat did, than any man /ever, ever see. Tou couldn't tell Awra
noth'n', 'bout placer diggin's — 'n' as for pocket mining, why
he was just bom for it. He would dig out after me an' Jim
when we went over the hills pros-
pect'n', and he would trot along
behind us for as much as five mile,
if we went so fur. An' he had the
best judgment about mining
ground — ^why you never see any-
thing like it. When we went to
work, he'd scatter a glance around,
'n' if he didn't think much of the
indications, he would give a look
as much as to say, ' Well, I'll have
TOM QUABTz. ^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^ excusc TO^,' 'u' wlth-
out another word he'd hyste his nose into the air 'n' shove for
home. But if the ground suited him, he would lay low 'n'
•keep dark till the first pan was washed, 'n' then he would sidle
up 'n' take a look, an' if there was about six or seven grains of
gold he was satisfied — he didn't want no better prospect 'n'
that — 'n' then he would lay down on our coats and snore like
a steamboat till we'd struck the pocket, an' then get up 'n'
superintend. He was nearly lightnin' on superintending.
"Well, bye an' bye, up comes this yer quartz excitement.
Every body was into it — every body was pick'n' 'n' blast'n'
instead of shovelin' dirt on the hill side — every body was put'n'
down a shaft instead of scrapin' the surface. Noth'n' would
do Jim, but we must tackle the ledges, too, 'n' so we did. We
commenced put'n' down a shaft, 'n' Tom Quartz he begin to
wonder what in the Dickens it was all about. He hadn't ever
seen any mining like that before, 'n' he was all upset, as you
may say — he couldn't come to a right understanding of it no
way — it was too many for Jiim. He was down on it, too, you
bet you — he was down on it powerful — 'n' always appeared to
consider it the cussedest foolishness out. But that cat, you
knowj was always agin new fangled arrangements — somehow
ho never could abide 'em. You know how it is with old habits.
TOM QUARTZ ON AN EXCURSION.
441
But by an' by Tom Quartz begin to git sort of reconciled a
little, though he never ayuld altogether understand that eternal
sinkin' of a shaft an' never pannin' out any thing. At last he
got to comin' down in the shaft, hisself, to try to cipher it out.
An' when he'd git the blues, 'n' feel kind o' scruflFy, 'n' aggra-
vated 'n' disgusted— ^knowin' as he did, that the bills was run-
nin' up all the time an' we wam't makin' a cent — he would
curl up on a gunny sack in the corner an' go to sleep. Well,
one day when the shaft was down about eight foot, the rock
got so hard that we had to put in a blast — the first blast'n'
we'd ever done since Tom Quartz was born. An' then we lit
the fuse 'n' dumb out 'n' got off 'bout fifty yards— 'n' forgot
"n' left Tom Quartz sound asleep on the gunny sack. In 'bout
a minute we seen a puff of smoke bust up out of the hole, 'n'
then everything let go with an awful crash, 'n' about four
million ton of rocks 'n' dirt 'n'
smoke 'n' splinters shot up
'bout a mile an' a half into the
air, an' by George, right in the dead centre of it was old Tom
Quartz a goin' end over end, an' a snortin' an' a sneez'n', an'
a clawin' an' a reachin' for things like all possessed. But it
wam't no use, you know, it warn't no use. An' that was the
i442
A PREJUDICED CAT.
AFTER AN BXCUESION.
last we see of Mm for about two minutes 'n' a half, an' then all
of a sudden it begin to rain rocks and rubbage, an' directly he
come down ker-whop about ten foot off f m where we stood
Well, I reckon he was p'raps the omeriest lookin' beast you
ever see. One ear was sot back on his neck, 'n' his tail was
stove up, 'n' his eye-winkers was swinged off, 'n' he was all
blacked up with powder an'
smoke, an' all sloppy with mud
'n' slush f m one end to the
other. Well sir, it wam't no
use to try to apologize — ^we
couldn't say a word. He took
a sort of a disgusted look at his-
self, 'n' then he looked at us —
an' it was just exactly the same as if he had said — ' Gents,
may be you think it's smart to take advantage of a cat that
'ain't had no experience of quartz minin', but /think different '
— an' then he turned on his. heel 'n' marched off home without
ever saying another word.
" That was jest his style. An' may be you won't believe
it, but after that you never see a cat so prejudiced agin quartz
mining as what he was. An' by an' bye when he did get to
goin' down in the shaft agin, you'd 'a been astonished at his
sagacity. The minute we'd tetch off a blast 'n' the fuse'd begin
to sizzle, he'd give a look as much as to say : ' Well, I'll have
to git you to excuse me,' an' it was sui-pris'n' the way he'd shin
out of that hole 'n' go f r a tree. Sagacity ? It ain't no name
for it. 'Twas inspiration !"
I said, " Well, Mr. Baker, his prejudice against quartz-min-
ing was remarkable, considering how he came by it. Couldn't
you ever cure him of it ?"
" Cure him ! No ! When Tom Quartz was sot once, he was
ahoays sot — and you might a blowed him up as much as three
million times 'n' you'd never a broken him of his cussed prej-
udice agin quartz mining."
The affection and the pride that lit up Baker's face when he
delivered this tribute to the firmness of his humble friend of '
other days, will always be a vivid memory with me.
EMPTY POCKETS AND A ROVING LIFE. 443
At the end of two montlis we had never " struck " a pocket.
We had panned up and down the hillsides till they looked
plowed like a field ; we could have put in a crop of grain, then,
but there would have been no way to get it to market. "We
got many good " prospects," but when the gold gave out in
the pan and we dug down, hoping and longing, we found only
emptiness — ^the pocket that should have been there was as bar-
ren as our own. — At last we shouldered our pans and shovels
and struck out over the hills to try new localities. "We pros-
pected around Angel's Camp, in Calaveras county, during three
weeks, but had no success. Then we wandered on foot among
the mountains, sleeping under the trees at night, for the weather
was mild, but still we remained as centless as the last rose of
summer. That is a poor joke, but it is in pathetic harmony
with the circumstances, since we were so poor ourselves. In
accordance with the custom of the country, our door had always
stood open and our board welcome to tramping miners — they
drifted along nearly every day, dumped their paust shovels
by the threshold and took " pot luck " with us — and now on
our own tramp we never found cold hospitality.
Our wanderings were wide and in many directions ; and now
I could give the reader a vivid description of the Big Trees
and the marvels of the Yo Semite — but what has this reader
done to me that I should persecute him ? I will deliver him
into the hands of less conscientious tourists and take his bless-
ing. Let me be charitable, though I fail in all virtues else.
Some of the phrases in the above are mining technicalities, purely, and may be
a little obscure to the general reader. In "placer diggings " the gold is scattered
all through the surface dirt; in "pocket" diggings it is concentrated in one little
spot • in " quartz " the gold is in a solid, continuous Tein of rock, enclosed beti? een
distinct waUs of some other kind of stone— and this is the most laborious and
expensive of all the different kinds of mining. "Frospecting " is hunting for a
"placer; "indicatiom' Sire sjgns of its presence; "panning o«<" refers to the
washing process by which the grains of gold are separated from the dirt ; a "pros-
pect" is what one finds in the first panful of dirt— and its value determines whether
it is a good or a bad prospect, and whether it is worth Tfhile to tarry there or geek
further. ,
CHAPTER LXII.
AFTER a three months' absence, I found myself in San
Francisco again, withoTit a cent. When my credit was
about exhausted, (for I had become too mean and lazy, now, to
work on a morning paper, and there were no vacancies on the
evening journals,) I was created San Francisco correspond-
ent of the Enterprise, and at the end of five months I was out
of debt, but my interest in my work was gone ; for my corres-
pondence being a daily one, without rest or respite, I got
unspeakably tired of it. I wanted another- change. The vag-
abond instinct was strong upon me. Fortune favored and I
got'a new berth and a delightful one. It was to go down to
the Sandwich Islands and write some letters for the Sacramento
Union, an excellent journal and liberal with employes.
We sailed in the propeller Ajax, in the middle of winter.
The almanac called it winter, distinctly enough, but the weather
was a compromise between spring and summer. Six days out
of port, it became summer altogether. We had some thirty
passengers ; among them a cheerful soul by the name of Wil-
liams, and three sea-worn old whaleship captains going down
to join their vessels. These latter played euchre in the smok-
ing room day and night, drank astonishing quantities of raw
whisky without being in the'4east affected by it, and were the
happiest people I think I ever saw. And then there was" the
old Admiral — " a retired whaleman. He was a roaring, ter-
rific combination of wind and lightning and thunder, and earn-
est, whole-souled profanity. But nevertheless he was tender-
THE OLD ADMIRAL.
445
hearted as a girl. He was a raving, deafening, devastating
typhoon, laying waste the cowering seas but with an unvexed
refuge in the centre where aU comers were safe and at rest.
Nobody could know the " Admiral " without liking him ; and
in a sudden and dire emergency I think no friend of his would
know which to ^_
c h 0 0 s e — t o be
cursed by him or
prayed for by a less
efficient person.
His title of "Ad-
miral" was more
strictly " official "
than any ever worn
by a naval officer
before or since,, per-
haps— ^forit was the
voluntary offering
of a whole nation,
and came direct
from the people
themselves with-
out any intermedi-
ate red tape — the
people of the Sand-
wich Islands. It
was a title that the thbeb captaiks.
came to him freighted with affection, and honor, and apprecia-
tion of his unpretending merit. And in testimony of the gen-
uineness of the title it was publicly ordained that an exclusive
flag should be devised for him and used solely to welome his
coming and wave him God-speed in his going. From that
time forth, whenever his ship was signaled in the offing, or he
catted his anchor and stood out to sea, that ensign streamed
from the royal halliards on the parliament house and the nation
lifted their hats to it with spontaneous accord.
Yet he had never fired a gun or fought a battle in his Ufe.
446 HOW HE BECAME A SECESSIONIST.
When I knew him on board the Ajax, he was seventy-two
years old and had plowed the salt water sixty-one of them.
For sixteen years he had gone in and out of the harbor of
Honolulu in command of a whaleship, and for sixteen more
had been captain of a San Francisco and Sandwich Island pas-
senger packet and had never had an accident or lost a vessel.
The simple natives knew him for a friend who never failed
them, and regarded him as children regard a father. It was a
dangerous thing to oppress them when the roaring Admiral
was around.
,,Two years before I knew the Admiral, he had retired from
the sea on a competence, and had svrom a colossal nine-jointed
oath that he would " never go within smelling distance of the
salt water again as long as he lived." And he had conscien-
tiously kept it. That is to say, Jie considered he had kept it,
and it would have been more than dangerous to suggest to
him, even in the gentlest way, that making eleven long sea voy-
ages, as a passenger, during the two years that had transpired
since he " retired," was only keeping the general spirit of it
and not the strict letter.
The Admiral knew only one narrow line of conduct to pur-
sue in any and all cases where there was a fight, and that was
to shoulder his Way straight in -without an inquiry as to the
rights or the merits of it, and take the part of the weaker
side. — And this was the reason why he was always sure to be
present at the trial of any universally execrated criminal to
oppress and intimidate the jury with a vindictive pantomime
of what he would do to them if he ever caught them out of
the box. And this was why harried cats and outlawed dogs
that knew him confidently took sanctuary under his chair in
time of trouble. In the beginning he was the most frantic
and bloodthirsty Union man that drew breath in the shadow
of the Flag ; but the instant the Southerners began to go down
before the ^weep of the Northern armies, he ran Tip the Con-
federate colors and from that time till the end was a rampant
and inexorable secessionist.
He hated intemperance with a more xmcompromising ani-
■HIS DAILY HABITS. 447
mosity than any individual I have ever met, of either sex ; and
he was never tired of storming against it and beseeching friends
and strangers alike to be wary and drink with moderation.
And yet if any creature had been guileless enough to intimate
that his absorbing nine gallons of " straight " whisky during
our voyage was any fraction short of rigid- or inflexible abste-
miousness, in that self-same moment the old man would have
spun him to the uttermost parts of the earth in the whirlwind
of his wrath. Mind, I am not saying his whisky ever affected
his head or his legs, for it did not, in even the slightest degree.
He was a capacious container, bxit he did not hold enough for
that. He took a level tumblerful of whisky every morning before
he put his clothes on — " to sweeten his bilge water," he said. —
He took another after he got the most of his clothes on, " to set-
tle his mind and give him his bearings." He then shaved, and
put on a clean shirt ; after which he recited the Lord's Prayer
- in a fervent, thundering bass that shook the ship to her kelson
and suspended all conversation in the main cabin. .Then, at
this stage, being invariably " by the head," or " by the stem,"
or " listed to port or starboard," he took one more to " put him
• on an even keel so that he would mind his helium and not
miss stays and go about, every time he came up in the wind."
— And now, his state-room door swung open and the sun of
his benignant face beamed redly out upon men and women and
children, and he roared his " Shipmets a'hoy !" in a way that
was calculated to wake the dead and precipitate the final resur-
rection ; and forth he strode, a picture to look at and a presence to
enforce attention. Stalwart and portly ; not a gray hair ; broad-
brimmed slouch hat ; semi-sailor toggery of blue navy flannel
— ^roomy and ample ; a stately expanse of shirt-front and a lib-
eral amount of black silk neck-cloth tied with a sailor knot ;
large chain and imposing seals impending from his fob ; awe-
inspiring feet, and " a hand like the hand of Providence," as
his whaling brethren expressed it ; wrist-bands and sleeves
pushed back half way to the elbow, out of respect for the warm
weather, and exposing hairy arms, gaudy with red and blue
anchors, ships, and goddesses of liberty tattooed in India ink.
M8
A DANGEROUS ANTAGONIST.
But these details were only secondary matters — ^his face was
the lodestone that chained the eye. It was a sultry disk, glow-
ing determinedly out through a weather beaten mask of mahog-
any, and studded with warts, seamed with scars, "blazed" all
over with unfailing fresh slips of the razor ; and with cheery
eyes, under shaggy brows, contemplating the world from over
the back of a gnarled crag of a nose that loomed vast and lonely
out of the undulating immensity that spread away from its
foundations. At his heels frisked the darling of his bachelor
es'tate, his terrier " Fan," a creature no larger than a squirrel.
The main part of his daily life was occupied in looking after
"Fan," in a motherly way, and doctoring her for a hundred
ailments which existed on-
ly in his imagination.
The Admiral seldom
read newspapers ; and
when he did he never be-
lieved anything they said.
He read nothing, and be-
lieved in nothing,but"The
Old Guard," a secession
periodical .published in
New York. He carrried
a dozen copies of it with
him, always, and referred
to them for all required
information. If it was not
there, he supplied it him-
self, out of a bountiful
fancy, inventing history,
names, dates, and every
thing else necessary to
make his point good in an
argument. Consequently
he was a formidable antagonist in a dispute. Whenever he
swung clear of the record and began to create history, the ene-
my was helpless and had to surrender. Indeed, the enemy
THB OLD AT>lVnRAT..
AN UNEXPECTED OPPONENT.
4A9
Could not keep from betraying some little spark of indignation
at his manufactured history — and when it came to indignation,
that was the Admiral's very " best hold." He was always
ready for a political argument, and if nobody started one he
Would do it himself. With his third retort his temper would
begin to rise, and within five minutes he would be blowing
a gale, and within fifteen his smoking-room audience would
be utterly stormed away and the old man left solitary and alone,
banging the table with his fist, kicking the chairs, and roaring
a hurricane of profanity.
It got so, after a while, that
whenever the Admiral ap-
proached, with politics in
his eye, the passengers
would drop out with quiet
^^^^K^^^^^^j^j^B^^SKS^ accord, afraid to meet him ;
and he would camp on a
deserted field.
^-^"^'^^PSBSBP II^^TI^Si^f^^ ^^^^ ^^ found his match
at last, and before a full
company. At one time or
another, everybody had
entered the lists against
him and been routed, except the quiet passenger Williams; He
had never been able to get an expression of opinion out of him
on politics. But now, just as the Admiral drew near the- door
and the cbmpany were about to slip out, Williams. said :
"Admiral, are you certain about that circumstance concern-
ing the clergymen you men1;joned the other day ?"-;-referring
to a piece 'of the Admiral's manufactured history.
Every one was amazed at the man's rashness. The idea of
deliberately inviting 'annihilation was a thing incomprehensible.
The retreat came to a halt ; then everybody sat down again
wondering, to await the upshot of it. The Admiral himself
was as surprised as any one. He paused in the door, with his
red handkerchief half raised to his sweating face, and contem-
plated the daring reptile in the corner.
29t
DESERTED FIELD.
450 BKOADSIDES FROM THE ADMIRAL.
" Certain of it ? Am I certmn of it ? Do you think I've been
lying about it ? What do you take me for ? Anybody that
don't know that circumstance, don't know anything ; a child
ought to kiiow it. Kead up your history ! Eead it up
■ , and don't come asking a man if he's certain
about a bit of A B C stuff that the very southern niggers know
all about."
Here the Admiral's fires began to wax hot, the atmosphere
thickened, the coming earthquake rumbled, he began to thunder
and lighten. Within three minutes his volcano was in full
irruption and he was discharging flames and ashes of indignar
tion, belching black volumes of foul history aloft, and vomiting
red-hot torrents of profanity from his crater. Meantime Wil-
liams sat silent, and apparently deeply and earnestly interested
in what the old man was saying. By and by, when the luU
came, he said in the most deferential way, and with the grati-
fied air of a man who has had a mystery cleared up which had
been puzzling him uncomfortably :
" Now I understand it. I always thought I knew that piece
of history well enough, but was still afraid to trust it, because
there was not that convincing particularity about it that one
likes to have in history ; but when you mentioned every name,
the other day, and every date, and every little circumstance,
in their just order and sequence, I said to myself, this sounds
something like — this is history — this is putting it in a shape
that gives a man confidence ; and I said to myself afterward, I
will just ask the Admiral if he is perfectly certain about the
details, and if he is I will come out and thank him for clearing
this matter up for me. And that is what I want to do now —
for until you set that matter right it was nothing but just a
confusion in my mind, without head or tail to it."
Nobody ever saw the Admiral look so mollified before, and
so pleased. Nobody had ever received 'his bogus history as
gospel before ; its genuineness had always been called in ques-
tion either by words or looks ; but hei'e was a man that not only
swallowed it all down, but was grateful for the dose. He was
taken a back ; he hardly knew what to say ; even his profanity
NEW WEAPONS EMPLOYED. 451-
failed him. 'Now, Williams continued, modestly and earnestly :
" But Admiral, in saying tliat this was the first stone thrown,
and that this precipitated the war, you have overlooked a cir-
cumstance which you are perfectly familiar with, btit which has
escaped your memory, l^ow I grant you that what you have
stated is correct in every detail — to wit : that on the 16th of
October, 1860, two Massachusetts clergymen, named Waite
and Granger, went in disguise to the house of John Moody, in
Eockport, at dead of night, and dragged forth two southern
women and their two little children, and after tarring and
feathering them conveyed them to Boston and burned them
alive in the State House square ; and I also grant your propo-
sition, that this deed is what led to the secession of South Car-
olina on the 20th of December following. Yery well." [Here
the company were pleasantly surprised to hear "Williams proceed
to come back at the Admiral with his own invincible weapon
— clean, pure, mcmufaotured history, without a word of truth
in it.] " Very well, I say. But Admiral, why overlook the
WiUis and Morgan case in South Carolina? You are too well
informed a man not to know all about that circumstance. Your
argunients and your conversations have shown you to be inti-
mately conversant with every detail of this national quarrel.
You develop matters of history every day that show plainly
that you are no smatterer in it, content to nibble about the
surface, but a man who has searched the depths and possessed
yourself of everything that has a bearing upon the great ques-
tion. Therefore, let me just recall to your mind that "Willis
and Morgan case — though I see by your face that the whole
thing is already passing through your memory at this moment.
On the I2th of August, 1860, two months before the "Waite
and Granger affair, two South Carolina clergymen, named John
H. Morgan and "Winthrop L. "Willis, one a Methodist and the
other an Old School Baptist, disguised themselves, and went
at midnight to the house of a planter named Thompson-
Archibald F. Thompson, Vice President under Thomas Jeffer-
son,—and took thence, at midnight, his widowed aunt, (a
Northern woman,) and her adopted child, an orphan named
452 THE ADMIRAL OVEBPOWERED.
Mortimer Highie, afflicted witli epilepsy and suffering at the
time from white swelling on one of his legs, and compelled to
walk on crutches in consequence ; and the two ministers, in
spite of the pleadings of the victims, dragged them to the bush,
tarred and feathered them, and afterward burned them at the
stake in the city of Charleston. You remember perfectly well
what a stir it made ; you , remember perfectly well that even
the Charleston Courier stigmatized the act as being unpleasant,
of questionable propriety, and scarcely justifiable, and likewise
that it would not be matter of surprise if retaliation ensued.
And you remember also, that this thing was the cause of the
Massachusetts outrage. "Who, indeed, were the two Massachu-
setts ministers ? and who were the two Southern women they
burned ? I do not need to remind you, Admiral, with your
intimate knowledge of history, that "Waite was the nephew of
the woman burned in Charleston ; that Granger was her cousin
in the second degree, and that the woman they burned in Bos-
ton was the wife of John H. Morgan, and the still loved but
divorced wife of "Winthrop L. "Willis. Now, Admiral, it is
only fair that you should acknowledge that the first provocation
came from the Soutliern preachers and that the Northern ones
were justified in retaliating. In your arguments you never
yet have shown the least disposition to withhold a just verdict
or be in anywise unfair, when authoritative history condemned
your position, and tlierefore I have no hesitation in asking you
to take the original blame from the Massachusetts ministers, in
this matter, and transfer it to the South Carolina clergymen
where it justly belongs."
The Admiral was conquered. This sweet spoken creature
who swallowed his fraudulent history as if it were the bread
of life ; basked in his furious blasphemy as if it were generous
sunshine ; found only calm, even-handed justice in his rampart
partisanship ; and flooded him with invented history so sugar-
coated with flattery and deference that there was no rejecting
it, was " too many " for him. He stammered some awkward,
profane sentences about the "Willis and
THE VICTOR DECLARED A HERO.
453
Morgan business having escaped his memory, but that he
" remembered it now," and then, under pretence of giving Fa»
some medicine for an imaginary cough, drew out of the battle
and went away, a vanquished man. Then cheers and laughter
went up, and Williams, the ship's benefactor was a hero. The
news went about the vessel, champagne was ordered, an enthu-
siastic reception in-
stituted in the smok-
ing room, and every-
body flocked thither
to shake hands with
the conqueror. The
wheelsman said af-
terward, that the
Admiral stood up
behind the pilot
house and " ripped
and cursed all to
himself" till he
loosened the smoke-
stack guys and be-
calmed the mainsail.
The Admiral's
power was broken. After that, if he began an argument^
somebody would bring Williams, and the old man would grow
weak and begin to quiet down at once. And as soon as he was
done, Williams in his dulcet, insinuating way, would invent
some history (referring for proof, to the old man's own excel-
lent memory and to copies of " The Old Guard " known not
to be in' his possession) that would turn the tables completely
and leave the Admiral all abroad and helpless. By and by
he came to so dread Williams and his gilded tongue that he
would stop talking when he saw him approach, and finally
ceased to mention politics altogether, and from that time for-
ward there was entire peace and serenity in the ship.
WILLIAMS.
CHAPTER LXIII.
01^ a certain bright morning the Islands hove insight, lying
low on the lonely sea, and everybody climbed to the upper
deck to look. After two thousand mile's of watery solitude
the vision was a welcome one. As we approached, the impos-
ing promontory of Dianiond Head rose up out of the ocean
its rugged front softened by the hazy distance, and presently
the details of the land began to make themselves manifest :
first the line of beach ; then the plumed coacoanut trees of the
tropics ; then cabins of the natives ; then the white town of
Honolulu, said to contain between twelve and fifteen thous-
and inhabitants spread over a dead level ; with streets from
twenty to thirty feet wide, solid and level as a floor, most of
them straight as a line and few as crooked as a corkscrew.
The further I traveled through the town the better I liked
it. Every step revealed a new contrast — disclosed something
I was unaccustomed to. In place of the grand mud-colored
brown fronts of San Francisco, I saw dwellings built of straw,
adobies, and cream-colored pebble-and-sheU-conglomerated coral,
' cut into oblong blocks and laid in cement ; also a great number
of neat white cottages, with green window-shxitters ; in place of
front yards like billiard-tables with iron fences around them, I
saw these homes surrounded by ample yards, thickly clad
with green grass, and shaded by taU trees, through whose
dense foliage the sim could scarcely penetrate; in place of
the customary geranium, calla lily, etc., languishing in dust
and general debility, I saw luxurious banks and thickets of
flowers, fresh as a meadow after a rain, and glowing with the
HONOLULU, SANDWICH ISLANDS.
455
richest dyes ; in place of the dingy horrors of San Francisco's
pleasure grove, the "Willows," I saw huge-bodied, wide-spread-
ing forest
trees, with
strange
names and
stranger
appearance
— trees that
cast ,a shad-
ow like a
t hunder-
cloud, and
were able to
stand alone
without be-
ing tied to
green poles ;
in place of
go 1 d fish,
wiggling
around in
glass globes,
assuming
countless
and
SCENES ON THE ISLANDS.
degrees of distortion through the magnifying and diminishing
qualities of their transparent prison houses, I saw cats — Tom-
cats, Mary Ann cats, long-tailed cats, bob-tailed cats, blind
cats, one-eyed cats, wall-eyed cats, cross-eyed cats, gray cats,
black cats, white cats, yellow cats, striped cats, spotted cats,
tame cats, wild cats, singed cats, individual cats, groups of cats,
platoons of cats, companies of cats, regiments of cats, armies
of cats, multitudes of cats, millions of cats, and all of them
sleek, fat, lazy and sound asleep. ,
I looked on a multitude of people, some white, in white
coats, vests, pantaloons, even white cloth shoes, made snowy
with chalk duly laid on every morning ; but the majority of
456
DRESS AND HABITS OF INHABITANTS.
the people were almost as dark as negroes — ^women with
comely features, fine black eyes, rounded forms, inclining to the
voluptuous, clad in a single bright
red or white garment that fell free
and unconfined from shoulder to
heel, long black hair falling loose,
gypsy h^ts, encircled with wreaths
of natural flowers of a brilliant car-
mine tint ; plenty of dark men in
various costumes, and some with noth-
ing on but a battered stove-pipe hat
I tilted on the nose, and a very scant
breech - clout ; — certain smoke-dried
^^^^r children were clothed in nothing but
sunshine— a very neat fitting and pic-
turesque apparel indeed.
In place of roughs and rowdies
staring and blackguarding on the cor-,
ners, I saw long-haired, saddle-col-
ored Sandwich Island maidens sit-
ting on the ground in the shade of corner houses, gazing
indolently at whatever or whoever happened along; instead
of wretched cobble-stone pavements, I walked on a firm
foundation of coral, built up from the bottom of the sea by the
absurd but persevering insect of that name, with a light layer of
lava and cinders overlying the coral, belched up out of fathom-
less perdition long ago through the seared and blackened crater
that stands dead and harmless in the distance now ; instead of
cramped and crowded street-cars, I met dusky native women
sweeping by, free as the wind, on fleet horses and astride, with
FASHIONABLE AIIIEIS.
gaudy riding-sashes,
streaming
like banners behind them;
instead of the combined stenches of Chinadom and Brannau
street slaughter-houses, I breathed the balmy fragrance of jes-
samine, oleander, and the Pride of India ; in place of the hurry
aud bustle and noisy confusion of San Francisco, I moved ii^
the midst of a Summer calm as tranquil as dawn in the Gar-
den of Eden ; in place of the Golden City^s skirting sand hills
a.nd the placid bay, I saw on the one side a frame-work of tall,.
THE ANXMAL KINGDOM. 457
precipitous mountains close at hand, clad in refreshing green,
and cleft by deep, cool, chasm-like valleys — and in front the
grand sweep of the ocean : a brilliant, transparent green near
the shore, bound and bordered by a long white line of foamy
spray dashing against the reef, and further out the dead blue
water of the deep sea, flecked with " white caps," and in
the far horizon a single, lonely sail — a mere^ accent-mark to
emphasize a slumberous calm and a solitude that were without
sound or limit. When the sun sunk down — the one intruder
frbm other realms and persistent in suggestions of them — ^it
was tranced luxury to sit in the perfumed air and forget that
there was any world but these enchanted islands.
It was silch ecstacy to dream, and dream — till you got a bite.
A scor-
pion bite.
Then the
first duty
was to get
up out of
the grass
and kill
the scor-
pion ; and
the next
to bathe
the bit-
ten place . '""™-
with alcohol or brandy ; and the next to resolve to keep out
of the grass in future. Then came an adjournment to the bed-
chamber and the pastime of writing up the day's journal with
one hand and the destruction of mosquitoes with the other — a
whole community of them at a slap. Then, observing an
enemy approaching, — a hairy tarantula on stilts — why not set
the spittoon on him ? It is done, and the projecting ends of
his paws give a luminous idea of the magnitude of his reach.
Then to bed and become a promenade for a centipede with
forty-two legs on a side and every foot hot enough to bum a
.458
FBUIT8 AND DELIGHTFUL EFFECTS.
hole through a raw-hide. More soaking with alcohol, and a
resolution to examine the bed before entering it, in future.
Then wait, and suflfer, till aU the mosquitoes in the neighbor-
i> hood have
crawled in
under the
bar, then
slip out
quickly,
shut them
in and.
sleep
peacefully
on the
floor till
morning.
Meantime
it is com-
RECONNOITEKING.
forting to curse the tropics in occasiQnal wakeful intervals.
We had an abundance of fruit in Honolulu, of course.
Oranges, pine-apples, bananas, strawberries, lemons, limes, man-
goes, guavas, melons, and a rare and curious luxury called the
chirimoya, which is deliciousness itself. Then there is the
tamarind. I thought tamarinds were made to eat, but that
was probably not the idea. I ate several, and it seemed to me
that they were rather sour that year. They pursed up my
lips, till they resembled the stem-end
of a tomato, and I had to take my
sustenance through a quill for twenty-
four hours. They sharpened my
teeth till I could have shaved with
them, and gave them a "wire edge"
that I was afraid would stay; but
a citizen said " no, it will come off
when the enamel does" — ^which was
I found, afterward,, that only stran-
B^TIna TAMABINDS
comforting, at any rate.
gers eat tamarinds — ^but they only eat them once.
CHAPTER LXIY.^
1]!^ my diary of our third day in Honolulu, I find this :
I am probably the most sensitive man in Hawaii to-night —
especially about sitting down in the presence of my betters.
I have ridden fifteen or twenty miles on horse-back since 5 p.m.
and to tell the honest truth, I have a delicacy about .sitting
down at all.
An excursion to Diamond Head and the King's Coacoanut
Grove was planned to-day — time, 4:30 p.m. — the party to con-
sist of half a dozen gentlemen and three ladies. They all
started at the appointed hour except myself. I was at the
Government prison, (with Captain Fish and another whaleship-
skipper. Captain Phillips,) and got so interested in its examina-
tion that I did not notice how quickly the time was passing.
Somebody remarked that it was twenty minutes past five
o'clock, and that woke me up. It was a fortunate circumstance
that Captain Phillips was along with his " turn out," as he calls
a top-buggy that Captain Cook brought here in 1778, and a
horse that was here when Captain Cook came. Captain Phil-
lips takes a just pride in his driving and in the speed of his
horse, and to his passion for displaying them I owe it that we
were only sixteen minutes coming from the prison to the
American Hotel — a distance which has been estimated to be
over half- a mile. But it took some fearful driving. The Cap-
tain's whip came down fast, and the blows started so much dust
out of the horse's hide that during the last half of the journey
we rode through an impenetrable fog, and ran by a pocket
compass in the hands of Captain Fish, a whaler of twenty-six
years experience, who sat there through the perilous voyage as
Self-possessed as if he had been on the euchre-deck of his own
4:60 A HORSEBACK BIDE.
ship, -and calmly said, " Port your helm — port," from time to
time, and " Hold her a little free — steady — so-o," and " Luff —
hard down to starboard !" and never once lost his presence
of mind or betrayed the least anxiety by voice or manner.
When we came to anchor at last, and Captain Phillips looked
at his watch and said, " Sixteen minutes — I told you it was in
her ! that's over three miles an hour !" I could see he felt
entitled to a compliment, and so I said I had never seen light-
ning go like that horse. And I never had.
The landlord of the American said the party had been gone
nearly an hour, but that he could give me my choice of several
horses that could overtake them. I said, never mind — I pre-
ferred a safe hors©' to a fast one- — I would like to have an
excessively gentle horse — a horse with no spirit whatever — a
lame one, if he had such a thing. Inside of five minutes I
was mounted, and perfectly satisfied with my outfit. I had no
time to label him " This is a horse," and so if the public took
him for a sheep I cannot help it. I was satisfied, and that was
the main thing. I could see that he had as many fine points
as any man's horse, and so I hung my hat on one of
them, behind the saddle, and swabbed the perspiration from
my face and started. I named him after this island, " Oahu "
(pronounced 0-waw-hee). The first gate he came to he started
in ; I had neither whip nor spur, and so I simply argued
the case with him. He resisted argument, bnt ultimately
yielded to insult and abuse. He backed out of that gate and
steered for another one on the other side of the street. I
triumphed by my former process. Within the next six hun-
dred yards he crossed the street fourteen times and attempted
thirteen gates, and in the meantime the tropical sun was beat-
ing down and threatening to cave the top of my head in, and
I was literally dripping with perspiration. He abandoned the
gate business after that and went along peaceably enough, but
absorbed in meditation. I noticed this latter circumstance,
and it soon began to fill me with apprehension. I said to my-
self, this creature is planning some new outrage, some fresh
deviltry or other — ^no horse ever thought over a subject so pro-
foundly as this one is doing just for nothing. The more this
A VICIOUS ANIMAL.
461.
thing preyed upon my mind the more uneasy I became, until
the suspense became abnost unbearable and I dismounted to
see if there was anything wild in his eye — for I had heard
that the eye of this noblest of our domestic animals is very-
expressive. I cannot describe what' a load of anxiety was
LOOKINO FOB MISOHIEP.
lifted from my 'mind when I found that he was only asleep.
I woke him up and started him ^into a faster walk, and then
the villainy of his nature came out again. He tried to climb
over a stone wall,, five or six feet high. I saw that I must
apply force to this horse, and that I might as well begin first
as last. I plucked a stout switch from a tamarind tree, and the'
moment he- saw it, he surrendered. He broke into a > convul-
sive sort of a canter, which had three short steps in it and one
long one, and reminded me alternately of the clattering shake
of the great earthquake, and the sweeping plunging of the Ajax
in a storm.
And now there can be no fitter occasion than the present to
pronounce a left-handed blessing upon the man who invented
the American saddle. There is no seat to speak of about it —
■462
NATURE AND ART.
one might as well sit in a sljiovel — and the stirrups are nothing
but an ornamental nuisance. If I were to write down here all
the abuse I expended on those stirrups, it would make a large
book, even without pictures. Sometimes I got one foot so far
through, that the stirrup partook of the nature of an anklet ;
sometimes both feet were through, and I was handcuffed by
the legs ; and sometimes my feet got clear out and left the stir-
rups wildly dangling about my shins. Even when I was in •
proper position and carefully balanced upon the balls of my
feet, there was no comfort in it, on account of my nervous
dread that they were going to. slip one way or the other in a
moment. But the subject is too exasperating to write about.
A mile and a half from town, I came to a grove of tall cocoa-
nut trees, with clean, branchless stems reaching straight up
sixty or seventy feet and topped with a spray of green foliage
sheltering
clusters of co-
coa-nuts—
not more pic-
turesque
than a forest
of coUossal
ragged para-
sols, with
bunches of
magnified
grapes under
them, would a pamilt likbnbss
be. I once heard a grouty northern invalid say that a cocoa-
nut tree might be poetical, possibly it was; but it looked like
a feather-duster struck by lightning. I think that describes
it better than a picture — and yet, without any question, there
is something fascinating about a cocoa-nut tree — rand graceful,
too.
About a. dozen cottages, some frame and the others of native
grass, nestled sleepily in the shade here and there. The grass
cabins are of a grayish color, are shaped much like our own
cottages, only with higher and steeper roofs usually, and are
IKTERESTINQ RUINS. 463
made of some kind of weed strongly bound together in bun-,
dies. The roofs are very thick, and so are the walls ; ithe lat-
ter have square holes in them for windows. At a little distance
these cabins have a furry appearance, as if they might be made
of bear skins. They are very cool and pleasant inside. The
King's flag was flying from the roof of one of the cottages,
and His Majesty was probably within. He owns the whole
concern thereabouts, and passes his time there frequently, on
sultry days " laying off." The spot is called " The King's
Grove."
Near by is an interesting ruin — the meagre remains of an
ancient heathen temple — a place where human sacrifices were
offered up in those old bygone days when the simple child of
nature, yielding momentarily to sin when sorely tempted,
acknowledged his error when calm reflection had shown it him,
and came forward with noble frankness and offered up his
grandmother as an atoning sacrifice— in those old .days when
the luckless sinner could keep on cleansing his conscience and
achieving periodical happiness as long as his relations held out ;
long, long before the missionaries braved a thousand privations
to come and make them permanently miserable by telling them
how beautiful and how blissful a place heaven is, and how
nearly impossible it is to get there ; and showed the poor native
how dreary a place perdition is and what unnecessarily liberal
facilities there are for going to it; showed him how, in his
ignorance he had gone and fooled away all his kinfolks to no
purpose ; showed^ him what rapture it is to work all day long
for fifty cents to l?liy food for next day with, as compared with
fishing for pastime and lolling in the shade through eternal
Summerj and eating of the bounty that nobody labored to pro-
vide but Nature. How sad it is to think of the multitudes
who have gone to their graves in this beautiful island and never
knew there was a hell !
This ancient temple was built of rough blocks. of lava, and
was simply a roofless inclosure a hundred and thirty feet long
and seventy wide — nothing but naked walls, very thick, but
not much higher than a man's head. They will last for ages
no doubt, if left unmolested. Its three altars and other sacred
464 ALL PRAISE TO THE MISSIONAEIES.
appurtenances have crumbled and passed away years ago- It
is said that in the old times thousands of human beings were
slaughtered here, in the presence of naked and howling savages.
If these mute stones could speak, what tales they could tell,
what pictures they could describe, of fettered victims writhing
under the knife ; of massed forms straining forward out of the
gloom, with ferocious faces lit up by the sacrificial fires ; of the
background of ghostly trees ; of the dark pyramid of Diamond
Head standing sentinel over the uncanny scene, and the peace-
ful moon looking down upon it through rifts in the cloud-rack !
When Kamehameha (pronounced Ka-may-ha-may-ah) the
Great — ^who was a sort of a Napoleon in military genius and
uniform success — invaded this island of Oahu three quarters
of a century ago, and exterminated the army sent to oppose
, him, and took full and final possession of the country, he search-
ed out the deiad body of the King of Oahu, and those of the
principal chiefs, and impaled their heads on the walls of this
temple.
Those were savage times when this old slaughter-house was
in its prime. The King and the chiefs ruled the common herd
with a rod of iron ; made them gather all the provisions the
masters needed ; build all the houses and temples ; stand all
the expenses, of whatever kind ; take kicks and cuffs for thanks ;
drag out lives well flavored with misery, and then suffer death
for- trifling offences or yield up their lives on the sacrificial altars
to purchase favors from the gods for their hard rulers. The
missionaries have clothed them, educated them, broken up the
tyrannous authority of their chiefs, and given them freedom
and the right to enjoy whatever their hands and brains produce
with equal laws for all, and punishment for all alike who trans-
gress them. The contrast is so strong — the benefit conferred
upon this people by the missionaries is so prominent, so palpar
ble and so unquestionable, that the frankest compliment I can
pay them, and the best, is simply to point to the condition of
the Sandwich Islanders of Captain Cook's time, and their con-
dition to-day. Their work speaks for itself.
CHAPTEE LXV.
BY and by, after a rugged climb, we halted on the summit
of a hill which commanded a far-reaching view. The
moon rose and flooded mountain and valley and ocean with
a mellow radiance, and out of the shadows of the foliage the
distant lights of Honolulu glinted like an encampment of ftre-
flies. The air was heavy with the fragrance of flowers. The-
halt was brief. — Gayly laughing and talking, the party galloped
on, and I clung to the pommel and cantered after. Presently we
came to a place where no grass grew — a wide expanse of deep
sand. They said it was an old battle ground. All around
everywhere, not three feet apart, the bleached bones of men
gleamed white in the moonlight. We picked up a lot of them
for mementoes. I got quite a number of arm bones and leg
bones — of great chiefs, may be, who had fought savagely in that
fearful battle in the old days, when blood flowedi like wine
where we now stood. — and wore the choicest of them: out on
Oahu afterward, trying to make him go. All sorts of bones
could be found except skulls ; but a citizen saidj irreverently,
that there had been an unusual number of " skull-hunters "
there lately — ^a species of sportsmen I had, never heard of
before.
Nothing whatever is known about this place — ^its story is a
secret that wiU never be revealed,. The; oldest, natives r make
no pretense of being possessed of its, history^. They say, these
466 A FRIGHTFUL LEAP.
bones were here when they were children. They were here
when their grandfathers were children — ^but how they came
here, they can only conjecture. Many people believe this spot
to be an ancient battle-ground, and it is usual to call it so ; and
they believe that these skeletons have lain for ages just where
their proprietors fell in the great fight. Other people believe
that Kamehameha I. fought his first battle here. On
this point, I have heard a story, which may have been taken
from one of the numerous books which have been written con-
cerning these islands — I do not know where the narrator got
it. He said that when Kamehameha (who was at first merely
a subordinate chief on the island of Hawaii), landed here, he
brought a large army with him, and encamped at Waikiki.
The Oahuans marched against him, and so confident were they
of success that they readily acceded to a demand of their priests
that they should draw a line where these bones now lie, and
;take an oath that, if forced to retreat at all, they would never
■retreat beyond this boundary. The priests told them that
death and everlasting punishment would overtake any who
violated the oath, and the march was resumed. Kamehameha
drove them back step by step ; the priests fought in the front
irank and exhorted them both by voice and inspiriting example
to remember their oaVh — to die, if need be, but never cross the
fatal line. The struggle was manfully maintained, but at last
the chief priest fell, pierced to the heart with a spear, and the
unlucky omen fell like a blight upon the brave souls at his
back ; with a triumphant shout the invaders pressed forward —
the line was crossed — the oifended gods deserted the despairing
army, and, accepting the doom their perjury had brought upon
them, they broke and fled over the plain where Honolulu stands
now — ^up the beautiful Nuuanu Valley — ^paused a moment,
hemmed in by precipitous mountains on either hand and the
frightful precipice of the Pari in front, and then were driven
over — a sheer plunge of six hundred feet !
The story is pretty enough, but Mr. Jarves' excellent history
says the Oahuans were intrenched in Nuuanu Valley ; that
AN APPKECIATIVE HORSE.
467
Kamehameha ousted them, routed them, pursued them up the
valiey and drove them over the precipice. He makes no meiir
tion of our bone-yard at all in his book.
Imipresse4 by the profound silence and repose that rested
over the beautiful landscape, and being, as usual, in the rear, I
gave voice to my thoughts. I said :
"What a picture is here slumbering in the solemn glory of
the moon ! How strong the rugged outlines of the ^ead vol-
cano stand out against the clew sky I "What a snowy fringe
marks the bursting of the surf over the long, curved reef 1
How calmly the dim city sleeps yonder in the plain ! How
soft the shadows lie upon the stately mountains that border the
dream-haunted Mauoa Valley ! What a grand pyramid of bil-
lowy clouds towers above the storied Pari ! How the grim
warriors of the past seem flocking in ghostly squadrons to their
ancient battlefield again — ^how the wails of the dying well up
from the "
At this point the horse called Oahu sat down in the sand.
Sat down to listen, I
suppose. If ever mind
what he heard, I stop-
ped apoBtrophi sing
and convinced him
that I was not a man
to allow contempt of
Court on the part of
a horse. I broke the
back-bone of a Chief
over his rump and
set out to join the
cavalcade again.
Very Considerably fagged out we arrived in town at
9 o'clock at night, myself in the lead— for when my horse
finally came to understand that he was homeward bound and
hadn't far to go, he turned his attention strictly to business.
This is a good time to drop in a paragraph of information.
SAT DOWN TO ilSTEN.
468 CONVKNIENT BROTHERS.
Tliere is no regular livery stable in Honolulu, or, indeed, in any
part of the kingdom of Hawaii ; therefore unless you arc acquaint-
ed with wealthy residents (who all have good horses), you must
hire animals of the wretchedest description from the Kanakas.
(i. e. natives.) Any horse you hire, even though it be from a white
man, is not often of much account, because it will be brought
in for you from some ranch, and has necessarily been leading
a hard life. If the Kanakas who have been caring for him
(inveterate riders they are) have not ridden him half to death
every day themselves, you can depend upon it they have been
doing the same thing by proxy, by clandestinely hiring him
out. At least, so I am informed. The result is, that no horse
has a chance to eat, drink, rest, recuperate, or look well or feel
well, and so strangers go about the Islands mounted as I was
to-day.
In hiring a horse from a Kanaka, you must have all your
eyes about you, because you can rest satisfied that you are dealing
with a shrewd unprincipled rascal. You may leave your door
open and your trunk imlocked as "long as you please, and he
will not meddle with your property ; he has no important vices
and no inclination to commit robbery on a large scale ; but if
he can get ahead of you in the horse business, he will take a
genuine delight iu doing it. This trait is characteristic of horse
jockeys, the world over, is it not ? He will overcharge you if
he can ; he will hire you a fine-looking horse at night (any-
body's— may be the King's, if the royal steed be in conve-
nient view), and bring you the mate to my OaTiu in the morn-
ing, and contend that it is the same animal. If you make trou-
ble, he will get out by saying it was not himself who made
the bargain with you, but his brother, " who went out in the
country this morning." They have always got a " brother " to
shift the responsibility upon. A victim said to one of these fel-
lows one day :
" But I know I hired the horse of you, because I noticed
that scar on your cheek."
AN UNWILLING BOKKOWEK.
409
The reply was not bad: "Oh, yes — ^yes-r-my brother all
same — we twins !"
A friend of mine, J. Smith, hired a horse yesterday, the
MY BBOTHEB — WB TWINS.
Kanaka warranting him to be in excellent condition. Smith
had a saddle and blanket of his own, and he ordered the Kan-
aka to put these on the horse. The Kanaka protested that he
was perfectly willing to trust the gentleman with the saddle
that was already on the animal, but Smith refused to use it.
The change was made ;. then Smith noticed that the Kanaka
had only changed the saddles, and had left the original blanket
on the horse ; he said he forgot to change the blankets, and so,
470
A NEW JOCKEY TRICK.
EXTKAOKDINART CAPERS.
to cut the tother short, Smith mounted and rode away. The
horse went lame a mile from town, and afterward got to cutting
up some extraordinary capers. SmitJi got down and took off
the saddle, but the blanket stuck fast to the horse — ^glued to a
^ procession of raw places.
^>.& *. - s v^sf^ The Kanaka's mysterious
conduct stood explained.
Another friend of mine
bought a pretty good horse
from a native, a day or two
ago, after a tolerably thor-
ough examination of the
animal. He discovered to-
day that the horse was as
blind as a bat, in one eye.
He meant to have examined
that eye, and came home
with a general notion that he had done it ; but he remem-
bers now that every time he maHe the attempt his attention
was called to something else by his victimizer.
One more instance, and then I will pass to something else.
I am informed that when a certain Mr. L., a visiting stranger, was
here, he bought a pair of very respectable-looking match horses
from a native. They were in a little stable with a partition
through the middle of it — one iiorse in each apartment. Mr.
L. examined one of them critically through a window (the
Kanaka's " brother " having gone to the country with the key),
and then went around the house and examined the other through
a window on the other side. He said it was the neatest match
he had ever seen, and paid for the horses on the spot. "Where-
upon the Kanaka departed to join his brother in the country.
The fellow had shamefully swindled L. There was only one
" match " horse, and he had examined his starboard side through
one window and his port side through another ! I decline to
believe this story, but I give it because it is worth something
as a fanciful illustration of a fixed fact — ^namely, that the Kan-
SANDWICH ISLAND HAT MERCHANT.
471
aka horse-jockey is fertile in invention and elastic in conscience.
You can buy a pretty good horse for forty or fifty dollars,
and a good enough horse for all practical purposes for two dol-
lars and a half. I estimate " Oahu" to be worth somewhere in
the neighborhood of thirty-five cents. A good deal better animal
than he is was sold here day before yesterday for a dollar and sev-
enty-five cents, and sold again to-day for two dollars and twen^ty-
five cents ; Williams bought a handsome and lively little pony yes-
terday for ten dollars ; and about the best common horse on the
island (and he is a really good one) gold yesterday, with Mexican
saddle and bridle, for seventy dollars — a horse which is well and
widely known, and greatly respected for his speed, good disposi-
A. LOAD OF HAT.
tion and everlasting bottom. You give your horse a little grain
once a day ; it comes from San Francisco, and is 'worth about
two cents a pound ; and you give him as much hay as he wants ; it
is cut and brought to the market by natives, aqd is not very good
it is baled into long, round bundles, about the size of a large
472 GOOD COUNTRY FOR HORSE LOVERS.
man ; one of them is stuck by the middle on each end of a sij^r
foot pole, and the Kanaka shoulders the pole and walks about
the streets between the upright bales in search of customers.
These hay bales, thus carried, have a general resemblance to a
colossal capital H.
The hay-bundles cost twenty-five cents apiece, and one will
last a horse about a day. You can get a horse for a song, a
week's hay for another song, and you can turn your animal loose
among the luxuriant grass in your neighbor's broad front yard
without a song at all — ^you do it at midnight, and stable the
beast again before morning. You have been at no expense thus
far, but when you come to buy a saddle and bridle they will cost
you from twenty to thirty-five dollars. You can hire a horse
saddle and bridle at from seven to ten dollars a week, and the
owner will take care of them at his own expense.
It is time to close this day's record — ^bed time. As I prepare
for sleep, a rich voice rises out of the still night, and, far as this
ocean rock is toward the ends of the earth, I recognize a famil-
iar home air. But the words seem somewhat out of joint :
" Waikikl lantoni oe Kaa hooly hooly wawhoo."
Translated, that means "When we were marching through
Georgia,"
CHAPTER LXYI.
PASSING through the market place we saw that feature of
Honolulu under its most favorable auspices — that is, in
the full glory of Saturday afternoon, which is a festive day
with the natives. The native girls by twos and threes and
parties of a dozen, and sometimes in whole platoons and com-
panies, went cantering up and down the neighboring streets
astride of fleet but homely horses, and with their guady riding
habits streaming like banners behind them. Such a troop of
free and easy riders, in their natural home, the saddle, makes
a gay and graceful spectacle. The riding habit I speak of is
simply a long, broad scarf, like a tavern table cloth brilliantly
colored, wrapped around the loins once, then apparently passed
between the limbs and each end thrown backward over the
same, and floating and flapping behind on both sides beyond
the horse's tail like a couple of fancy flags ; then, slipping the
stirrup-irons between her toes, the girl throws her shest for
ward, sits up like a Major General and goes sweeping by like
the wind.
The girls put on aU the finery they can on Saturday afternoon
— fine black silk robes ; flowing red ones that nearly put your
eyes out ; others as white as snow ; still others that discount
the rainbbw; and they wear their hair in nets, and trim their
jaunty hats with fresh flowers, and encircle their dusky throats
with home-made necklaces of the brilliant vermillion-tinted
blossom of the ohia ; and they fill the markets and the adjacent
streets with their bright presences, and smell like a rag factory
on fire with their offensive cocoanut oil.
474
SIGHTS ON THE ISLANDS.
Occasionally you see a heathen from the sunny isles away
down in the South Seas, with his face and neck tatooed till he
looks like the customary mendicant from Washoe who has be^n
blown up in a mine. Some are tattooed a dead blue color down
to the upper lip — masked, as it were — ^leaving^he natural light
yellow skin of Micronesia unstained from thence down ; some
with broad marks drawn down from hair to neck, on both sides
of the face, and a strip of the original yellow skin, two inches
SANDWICH ISLA.in> OIBLS.
wide, down the center — a gridiron with a spoke broken out ;
and some with the entire face discolored with the popular
mortification tint, relieved only by one or two thin, wavj
threads of natural yellow running across the face from ear to
ear, and eyes twinkling out of this darkness, from under shad-
owing hat-brims, like stars in the dark of the moon.
Moving among the stirring crowds, you come to the poi
merchants, squatting in the shade on their hams, in true native
fashion, and surrounded by purchasers. (The Sandwich Island-
CHIEF AETICLE OF FOOD.
4T5
ers always squat on their hams, and who knows but they may
be the old original " ham sandwiches ?" The thought is preg-
nant with interest) The poi looks like common flour paste,
and is kept in large bowls form-
ed of a species of gourd, and
capable of holding from one to
three or four gallons. Poi is
the chief article of food among
the natives, and is prepared
from the ta/ro plant. The taro
root looks like a thick, or, if you
please, a corpulent sweet potato,
in shape, but is of a light purple
color when boiled. When boil-
ed it answers as a passable sub-
stitute for bread. The buck
Kanakas bake it under ground,
then mash it up well with a
heavy lava pestle, mix water
with it until it becomes a paste, set it aside and let it ferment,
and then it is poi — and an unseductive mixture it is, almost
tasteless before it ferments and too sour for a luxury afterward.
But nothing is more nutritious. When solely used, however,
it produces acrid humors, a fact which sufficiently accounts for
the humorous character of the Kanakas. I think there must
be as much of a knack in handling poi as there is in eating
with chopsticks. The forefinger is thrust into the mess and
stirred quickly round several times and drawn as quickly out,
thickly coated, just as if it were poulticed ; the head is thrown
back, th^nger inserted in the mouth and the delicacy stripped
off and swallowed — the eye closing gently, meanwhile, in a
languid sort of ecstasy. Many a different finger goes into the
same bowl and many a different kind of dirt and shade and
quality of flavor is added to the virtues of its contents.
Around a small shanty was collected a crowd of natives buy-
ing the oAJoa root. It is said that but for the use of this root
the destruction of the people in former times by certain imported
ORIQINAL HAM SANDWICH.
476 GRAND GALA DAT.
diseases would have been far greater than it was, and by others
it is said that this is merely a fancy. All agree that poi will re-
juvenate a man who is used up and his vitality almost annUiilated
by hard drinking, and that in some kinds of diseases it will
restore health after all medicines have failed ; but all are not
willing to allow to the ama the virtues claimed for it. The
natives manufacture an intoxicating drink from it which is fear-
ful in its effects when persistently indulged in. It covers the
body with dry, white scales, inilames the eyes, and causes pre-
mature decrepitude. Although the man before whose estab-
lishment we stopped has to pay a Government license of eight
hundred dollars a year for the exclusive right to sell awa root,
it is said that he makes a small fortune every twelve-month ;
while saloon keepers, who pay a thousand dollars a year for the
privilege of retailing whiskey, etc., only make a bare living.
We found the fish market crowded ; for the native is very fond
of fish, and eats the aHicle raw and alive ! Let us change the
subject.
In old times here Saturday was a grand gala day indeed.
All the native population of the town forsook their labors, and
those of the surrounding country journeyed to the city. Then
the white folks had to stay indoors, for every street was so
packed with charging cavaliers and cavalieresSfes that it was
next to impossible to thread one's way through the cavalcades
without getting crippled.
At night they feasted and the girls danced the lascivious hu-
la hula — a dance that is said to exhibit the very perfection of
educated motion of limb and arm, hand, head and body, and
the exactest uniformity of movement and accuracy of " time."
It was performed by a circle of girls with no raiment on them
to speak of, who went through an infinite variety of motions
and figures without prompting, and yet so true was their " time,"
and in such perfect concert did they move that when they were
placed in a straight line, hands, arms, bodies, limbs and heads
waved, swayed, gesticulated, bowed, stooped, whirled, squirmed,
twisted and undulated as if they were part and parcel of a single
individual ; and it was difficult to believe they were not moved
in a body by some exquisite piece -of mechanism.
UNIVEESAL CHURCH MEMBERSHIP. 477
Of late years, however, Saturday has lost most of its quondam,
gala features. This weekly stampede of the natives interfered
too much with labor and the interests of the white folks, and
by sticking in a law here, and preaching a sermon there, and
by various other means, they gradually broke it up. The de-
moralizing hula hula was forbidden to be performed, save at
night, with closed doors, in presence of few spectators, and only
by permission duly procured from the authorities and the pay.
ment of ten dollars for the same. There are few girls now-a-
days able to dance this ancient national dance in the highest
perfection of the art.
The missionaries have christianized and educated all the na-
tives. They aU belong to the Church, and there is not one of
them, above the age of eight years, but can read and write
with facility in the native tongue. It is the most universally
educated race of people outside of China. They have any
quantity of books, printed in the Kanaka language, and all the
natives are fond of reading. They are inveterate church-goers
— ^nothing can keep them away. All this ameliorating culti-
vation has at last built up in the native women a profound
respect for chastity — in other people. Perhaps that is enough
to say on that head. The national sin will die out when the
race does, but perhaps not earlier. — But doubtless this purifying
is not far off, when we reflect that contact with civilization and
the whites has reduced the native population iramfov/r hund-
red thousand (Captain Cook's estimate,) io fifty-five thousand
in something over eighty years !
Society is a queer me<Uey in this notable missionary, whaling
and governmental centre. If you get into conversation with
a strangOT and experience that natural desire to know what sort
of ground you are treading on by finding out what manner of
man your stranger is, strike out boldly and address him as
" Captain." Watch him narrowly, and if you see by his coun-
tenance that you are on the wrong tack, ask him where he
preaches. It is a safe bet that he is either a missionary or
captain of a whaler. I am now personally acquainted with
seventy-two captains and ninety-six missionaries. The captains
478
CATS AND OFFICIALS.
and ministers form one-half of the population ; the tliii'd fourth
is composed of common Kanakas and mercantile foreigners
and their families, and the final fourth is made up of high offi-
cers of the Hawaiian Government. And there are just about
cats enough for three apiece all around.
A solemn stranger met me in the suburbs the other day, and
" Good morning, your reverence. Preach in the stone
church yonder, no doubt ?"
" Ifo, I don't. I'm not a preacher."
" Really, I beg your pardon, Captain. I trust you had a
good season. How much oil " —
" Oil ? What do you take me for ? I'm not a whaler."
"Oh, I beg a thousand pardons, your Excellency. Major
General in the household troops, no doubt ? Minister of the
" I KISSED HIM FOR HI! MOTHBB."
Interior, likely ? Secretary of war ? First Gentleman of the
Bed-chamber ? Commissioner of the Eoyal " —
" StufFI I'm no official. I'm not connected in any way
with the Government."
AN OVERWHELMING DISCOVERT.
4:79
"Bless my life! Then, who the mischief are you? what
the mischief are you ? and how the mischief did you get here,
and where in thunder did you come from ? "
" I'm only a private personage — an unassuming stranger —
lately arrived from America."
" No ? Not a missionary ! Not a whaler ! not a member
of his Majesty's Government ! not even Secretary of the Navy !
Ah, Heaven ! it is too blissful to be true ; alas, I do but dream.
And yet that noble, honest countenance— those oblique, ingen*
nous eyes — that massive head, incapable of — of — anything;
your hand; give me your hand, bright waif. Excuse these
tears. For sixteen weary years I have yearned for a moment
like this, and " —
Here his feelings were too much for him, and he swooned
away. I pitied this poor creature from the bottom of my heart.
I was deeply moved. I shed a few tears on him and kissed
him for his mother. I then took what small change he had
and " shoved."
CHAPTER LXVII.
I STILL quote from my journal :
I found the national Legislature to consist of half a dozen
white men and some thirty or forty natives. It was a dark
assemblage. The nobles and Ministers (about a dozen of them
altogether) occupied the -extreme left of the hall, with David
Kalakaua (the King's Chamberlain) and Prince William at the
head. The President of the Assembly, His Eoyal Highness
M. Kekuanaoa,* and the Vice President (the latter a white man,)
sat in the pulpit, if I may so term it.
The President is the King's father. He is an erect, strongly
built, massive featured, white-haired, tawny old gentleman of
eighty years of age or thereabouts. He wa